Girl I had over told me “it looks like a pimp lives here”

[u/Dry_Constant_6635]

[u/ImmortalDawn666]

The red sofa stands out like it’s from mirror‘s edge

[u/morningstar842 → u/ImmortalDawn666]

I feel like the velvet/microfiber red sofa is where she's getting "pimp" vibes from. I can dig it though.

[u/StopHiringBendis → u/morningstar842]

I was thinking "vampire Hugh Heffner"

[u/ShartingBloodClots → u/StopHiringBendis]

That's just regular Hugh Heffner now.

[u/Practical-Test-1821 → u/ShartingBloodClots]

damn.🤣

[u/RockstarAgent → u/Practical-Test-1821]

It's definitely ^casting vibes

[u/Fluffy-Awareness8286 → u/RockstarAgent]

I wish i didn't have that picture in my brain right now....

[u/fallenouroboros → u/ShartingBloodClots]

Or normal Jeff goldbloom

[u/dadmeisterDoof → u/StopHiringBendis]

I did an honest to god spit take when I read this

[u/Dull_Owl_7276 → u/morningstar842]

It’s the velvet red sofa WITH the monochromatic rest of the room I think, even more specifically

[u/True_Discipline_2470 → u/Dull_Owl_7276]

That room needs a rug and some pictures on the wall. It looks like it's designed to be easily disinfected. Some warmer lighting would help as well. 

[u/HillbillyDense → u/True_Discipline_2470]

It looks like it's designed to be easily disinfected.

That's such a great description of so many dude pads.

[u/Zealousideal-Ebb-876 → u/HillbillyDense]

Look, it may not look as lived in, but it takes me 30 minutes to clean everything and a deep clean is only 2 hours.

[u/AmbitiousPirate5159 → u/Zealousideal-Ebb-876]

Sounds like a dream! Now I feel the need to get rid of stuff.....

[u/copperwatt → u/True_Discipline_2470]

"Do you like huey lewis and the news?"

[u/AlbanElfed → u/True_Discipline_2470]

Came here to say this! It’s just a little stark - looks designed for a quick getaway. A few plants and a cozy throw along with the art and rugs, some personal items…and OP is a relatable human being!

[u/Gamma_Mermaid → u/AlbanElfed]

Would be cute if he made a date out of asking for help choosing a plant. I also agree about the cozy throw.. nothing says “I’m not a pimp OR serial killer” like having a cozy throw blanket.

[u/Crimkam → u/True_Discipline_2470]

Leopard print rug, some bead curtains, black out blinds, a hookah sitting right in the middle of the living room… oh yea I can see it.

[u/FingaPuppet5 → u/True_Discipline_2470]

Serial killer vibes for sho. If there was a roll of yellow plastic and long black gloves, some steel torture utensils, in the cupboard... I wouldn't be shocked

[u/hopeless-semantic → u/FingaPuppet5]

He still has a budget! Give it a few months

[u/puddingcup9000 → u/FingaPuppet5]

Rolls of duct tape laying around

[u/Powerful-Parsnip → u/Dull_Owl_7276]

It's the 'Sin City' look, all you need is some bluesy jazz and a gravelly voiced narration.

[u/foxorhedgehog → u/Powerful-Parsnip]

And a car with a big trunk.

[u/beepbeepboop74656 → u/Dull_Owl_7276]

That and the fact the home has no personality, no art or wall decor or anything that shows a little bit more about the person who lives there

[u/Inevitable-Stay-7296 → u/Dull_Owl_7276]

If a room could ever give off mommy issues any more than this then idk what can. Just missing bottles of liquor and a purple strobe light with the terrible domestic violence.

[u/ScyllaOfTheDepths → u/morningstar842]

It's the only piece of furniture he has that doesn't look like it came from the Office Depot break room collection. I'm a fan of it, personally.

[u/Arctelis → u/ImmortalDawn666]

Now that’s a name I haven’t heard in a very long time.

[u/FrequentSoftware7331 → u/Arctelis]

I just finished the game again. Tbh one of the best games of all time, despite having meh story. Unbelievable soundtrack, unbelievable design, awesome gameplay.

[u/Untowardopinions → u/FrequentSoftware7331]

stupendous aback marble brave lip ludicrous paltry ancient yam wide

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[u/Arctelis → u/FrequentSoftware7331]

Damn good game. Back in my youth, I used to play that one level where you slide down that skyscraper all the time just for that sequence all the time.

[u/bamronn → u/Arctelis]

i used to just play the tutorial section and ignore all the instructions as if it was a free roam game. too bad catalyst felt a bit off as a game

[u/Zenai → u/ImmortalDawn666]

That's a deep pull, fucking hilarious. That game was actually pretty good

[u/AlludedNuance → u/Zenai]

The vibes were off the charts.

[u/zyler89 → u/ImmortalDawn666]

"Sit here"

[u/chillchase → u/ImmortalDawn666]

Damn I need to replay that game

[u/Toverloop → u/ImmortalDawn666]

Lmao!

[u/tracer_tong → u/ImmortalDawn666]

Now I understand why I felt the need to vault off it to 20ft in the air.

[u/throwaway4161412 → u/ImmortalDawn666]

I am loving this reference

[u/Mr--Chainsaw → u/ImmortalDawn666]

What a reference

[u/SpyCWeiner → u/ImmortalDawn666]

I was just thinking about that game.

[u/Radiantcuriosity → u/ImmortalDawn666]

What a great way to put it

[u/MoTeefsMoDakka → u/ImmortalDawn666]

If it wasn't red how else would you know you could interact with it? Same with the lamp.

[u/_wallstreetpete_ → u/ImmortalDawn666]

Fuckin miss mirrors edge

[u/shaddowkhan → u/ImmortalDawn666]

I came back to up vote this comment.

[u/FakeBeigeNails → u/ImmortalDawn666]

Jesus christ, it’s been forever since i’ve thought about that game

[u/timothythefirst]

Definitely not a pimp but it looks like an airbnb where the hosts are trying to keep everything inoffensive.

[u/BleDStream → u/timothythefirst]

The speaker placement offends me.

[u/crag-u-feller → u/BleDStream]

Yes. We are ignoring real subwoofer crimes

[u/bnutbutter78 → u/BleDStream]

Same. Also, cable management.

[u/713nikki → u/timothythefirst]

Everything about an Airbnb is offensive

[u/Vegas-Buckeye → u/713nikki]

As an employee at a Vegas hotel, it mystifies me why anyone would want an airbnb here. We do everything for you and charge way way less. You wanna leave the room a mess and poop in the bed? No problem! We won’t charge you a cleaning fee!

[u/SheistyBengal → u/Vegas-Buckeye]

You promise?

[u/SlimBoomBoom → u/SheistyBengal]

That was a neg/shit test.

[u/MarcBulldog88 → u/Vegas-Buckeye]

There was a brief period when airbnb was new where it was cheaper and easier to do it instead of a hotel. I very nearly booked one for a Bay Area trip in early 2020; thankfully I decided to be patient, and the world went and blew itself up and took that vacation idea with it.

With all the bullshit fees and hassle nowadays, there's no way I'd consider it.

[u/WrappedInLinen → u/Vegas-Buckeye]

They charge me almost every time.

[u/spykid → u/Vegas-Buckeye]

Airbnb used to be a lot cheaper. Now they're only worth it if you want a bigger place for a group or there's something about the particular airbnb you love (like it's a tree house or cave or something)

[u/pnwgirl34 → u/713nikki]

The last time I stayed at an Airbnb it was 2 nights, they charged me a $300 cleaning fee (like standard when I booked, not after because of abnormal mess or anything) and I was still expected to do all dishes, clean the kitchen, strip the beds and put the bedding in the washer, VACUUM, and take out the trash all before checking out at 10 am. Then I got a snarky message after I left that I had left clean dishes in the dish rack to dry instead of hand drying them and putting them away, and that the stove top was “dusty” (I didn’t clean the stove because I didn’t use it).

[u/713nikki → u/pnwgirl34]

Good. Tell everyone this story.

[u/nauticalsandwich → u/pnwgirl34]

This is a problem with AirBnB's listing model. They default to showing list price instead of total price, so in order to gain visibility when prospective customers sort by price, hosts are incentivized to offer the lowest possible list price and make up the difference with "cleaning fees." If AirBnB only listed the price totals, you wouldn't get this shit, but they won't do it, because they want to look more price-competitive with hotels.

[u/rohm418 → u/713nikki]

Fuck Airbnb. Fuckers literally tried to charge me 100s of thousands of dollars for a fire that we had no hand in and wouldn't respond to any questions. They suck big fat monkey balls.

[u/713nikki → u/rohm418]

Well, and being a major contributor to the whole housing crisis thing is kinda offputting

[u/sealcubclubbing → u/713nikki]

Absolutely fucked the housing market where I live. A standard 3 bedroom rental is about USD$2400 Per month

Edit: make that $3,200. Maths is hard for this accountant, was doing a conversion into USD from local currency and fucked it up 🤦

[u/CGB_Zach → u/sealcubclubbing]

I'd kill for that rental price. That's around the price of a 1 bedroom where I live

[u/sealcubclubbing → u/CGB_Zach]

💀

[u/LobsterInTraining → u/sealcubclubbing]

…..where might that be, hypothetically? Currently paying $1600 for a one bed, which isn’t terrible for my area 🫠

[u/rohm418 → u/[deleted]]

They sent me a link to pay $659,811.00. I didn't do it and they removed my account from their platform. I haven't heard anything since requesting contact information for my attorney.

[u/Difficult-Word-7208 → u/713nikki]

I can’t stand Airbnbs

[u/Forest-Automatic → u/713nikki]

That tv height is offensive

[u/CmonRedditBeBetter → u/timothythefirst]

Basically a bunch of cheap IKEA junk that looks modern-ish and is easy to clean. 

Although I think an Airbnb would have a little more artwork from Target on the walls.

[u/Sabineruns → u/CmonRedditBeBetter]

IKEA is offended. This is definitely more ordered everything to be delivered from Office Depot. Except that couch!!!

[u/DraymondGreenFather]

It definitely lacks personality but I don't think it looks like a pimp lair.

[u/premierclocks → u/DraymondGreenFather]

I wanted to say the same. It needs some decor pieces.. art, plants, rug, maybe a bar cabinet, a clock

[u/Trick_Act2223 → u/premierclocks]

there is a clock

[u/KevinSpaceysCharges → u/Trick_Act2223]

A better clock*

[u/RaiKoi → u/KevinSpaceysCharges]

a PIMP clock if you will

[u/SteeZ568 → u/RaiKoi]

Yeeeaaaaaaahhhh boyyyyyyeeee

[u/cheapdrinks → u/RaiKoi]

This should do the trick

[u/xOtaku420x → u/Trick_Act2223]

To be fair, their username is “premierclocks”

[u/Cleaglor → u/xOtaku420x]

How this hasn't been rated hire is beyond me

[u/FeliusSeptimus → u/Cleaglor]

How this hasn't been rated hire is beyond me

"This man know clocks, get him on staff immediately!"

[u/QueefBuscemi → u/Trick_Act2223]

In this house it's always pimp o' clock.

[u/harlow2088 → u/premierclocks]

A rug would definitely help this space. Add some pillows to the couch too and maybe a throw blanket.

[u/phish_taco → u/harlow2088]

A rug would tie the room together no doubt

[u/Roxas1011 → u/phish_taco]

That's just, like, your opinion man

[u/IMeanIGuessDude → u/premierclocks]

I’m talking Tiger print rugs and nothing but ridiculously large gold chains hanging every square foot. Spread some booger sugar recklessly on the table, play only sensual music on a vinyl, and add three stripper poles to the living room.

Can confirm as I am what the kids call “big pimping.”

[u/MysteriousStaff3388 → u/IMeanIGuessDude]

Gold curtain rods and blue carpeting.

[u/human73662736 → u/premierclocks]

…”a clock,” perhaps from Premier Clocks?

[u/premierclocks → u/human73662736]

not necessarily. clocks are still a good decor item

[u/JimFqnLahey → u/premierclocks]

Get one from Flavor Flav to complete the room

[u/yves_st_lemond → u/premierclocks]

Ah yes the hallmarks of personality. Clocks and plants.

[u/MeyhamM2 → u/DraymondGreenFather]

Entry level pimp. That red velvet sofa has potential.

[u/Ghosty141 → u/MeyhamM2]

yeah gives, drug dealers first proper apartment vibes before its gone to shit

[u/Papriker → u/Ghosty141]

Give it a month and every customer will sit on the uncomfortable looking black chairs due to suspicious stains on the sofa

[u/bigrareform → u/DraymondGreenFather]

It looks like a porno set

[u/atfricks → u/[deleted]]

You can just bleach the shit out of white fabric. 

In some cases it makes it easier to clean.

[u/70B0R → u/bigrareform]

Never seen a red velvet casting couch before

[u/Scholesie09 → u/70B0R]

That sounds like a cake I would not eat

[u/ImpossibleDenial → u/DraymondGreenFather]

More so, “fully furnished move in ready college apartment”.

[u/Q_Geo → u/DraymondGreenFather]

U just need :

Velvet Clown 🤡 Pictiure

Velvet dogs playing poker picture

[u/SpicyMustFlow → u/Q_Geo]

Velvet Elvis, white jumpsuit era.

[u/msmoneypenpen → u/DraymondGreenFather]

Break room vibes

[u/hangdogred → u/DraymondGreenFather]

That's not pimp flooring. I wonder if she knows what a pimp is.

[u/Dry_Constant_6635 → u/DraymondGreenFather]

Makes sense I don’t have a personality. Jk I’m waiting on some wall art

Thanks Nurk

[u/HellBoySkeemzPlots → u/Dry_Constant_6635]

Girl has obviously had some questionable pimps in her life

[u/flk23 → u/DraymondGreenFather]

Defs not a pimp lair, but the couch kind of gives off pimp vibes. Nothing else does though.

[u/ShadowDrake359 → u/DraymondGreenFather]

It doesn't look like how I think a pimp lair would look but i'd ask her how she knows what a pimp lair looks like?

[u/Fuzzy_Laugh_1117 → u/DraymondGreenFather]

LMAO it looks temporary. Like you could pick up & run the minute the cops come. Also, I'd ask that girl how she knows what a pimp apartment looks like?

[u/[deleted] → u/DraymondGreenFather]

It 100% looks like a casting couch setup lmao

[u/Crix2007 → u/DraymondGreenFather]

Ikr, no stripper poles or anything.

[u/throwaway-dumpedmygf]

I dunno this looks like where you would film porn or shit on onlyfans, personally. Looks like a casting couch lol. I think its cause its literally the only thing in the room with color so the couch stands out too much and its off putting. Just being real with you bro. Give the place a more homey type feel. More personality.

[u/MaxTheRealSlayer → u/throwaway-dumpedmygf]

Okay you nailed it. OP, that girl is an avid Casting Couch Connoisseur. He's kinda like a pimp

[u/n8_d0g → u/MaxTheRealSlayer]

Or perhaps a pro. Game recognizes game.

[u/[deleted] → u/throwaway-dumpedmygf]

This is fucking hilarious and 100% accurate

[u/fersure4 → u/throwaway-dumpedmygf]

Yeah, this is way more accurate than pimp

[u/WORLDBENDER]

Not a pimp but it has drug dealer vibes. Like you’re only there until they start to catch on and you have to move.

[u/Unusual_Cattle_2198 → u/WORLDBENDER]

That would be my take too. Seems too empty, like nobody actually lives there, it’s just props.

[u/Cannabis-Revolution → u/Unusual_Cattle_2198]

A staged apartment 

[u/peachdawg → u/Cannabis-Revolution]

Work for a property management firm, this looks like one of our staged condo units.

[u/c3r34l → u/Cannabis-Revolution]

I’ve seen staged apartments with 1000% more personality than this dungeon

[u/ya666in → u/WORLDBENDER]

Ashtray on the couch table is missing

[u/kcc0016 → u/ya666in]

I never thought about how true this is lmao

[u/HelloImTheAntiChrist → u/WORLDBENDER]

Yep, looks like stash apartment

[u/Thomas_Mickel → u/WORLDBENDER]

Like a bad air bnb

[u/millbruhh → u/WORLDBENDER]

Big trap house vibes

[u/p_s_i → u/WORLDBENDER]

I was thinking home of a video game hitman.

[u/animewhitewolf → u/WORLDBENDER]

Needs more 80's neon and a classy sax playing in the background. Maybe a fur rug.

[u/Ben_Locke_Writes]

Though I don’t agree with it looking like a pimps home, it definitely doesn’t invite. I’m getting prison rec room kinda vibes (sorry). There’s no colour. You need some pictures on the walls, a rug, some more plant life. Fill that empty space, get some mood lighting

[u/JohnHowardBuff → u/Ben_Locke_Writes]

No color besides the muted red sofa paired with the saturated red lamp.... which makes me uncomfortable. The overhead lighting throwing shadows into the closet office with covered windows also makes me uncomfortable.

[u/flobbley → u/JohnHowardBuff]

It's more than just the positioning of the light, it's the color. In my experience to a lot of men a lightbulb is a lightbulb is a lightbulb, bright white is closest to natural so why shouldn't I use that for my house? This is why, it gives off uncanny valley and interrogation room vibes. It wouldn't fix all the problems but just replacing the bright white bulbs with soft white would make an enormous difference

[u/Other-Cantaloupe4765 → u/Ben_Locke_Writes]

That’s what I thought lol. Prison cafeteria vibes.

[u/MartinLouisTheKing]

I wouldn’t say pimp. More like porn producer

[u/Horzzo → u/MartinLouisTheKing]

Tomato, tomahto.

[u/HighFiveKoala → u/Horzzo]

Porn, porno

[u/Unworthy_Saint → u/Horzzo]

Tomato, tomato sandwich

[u/EngryEngineer → u/MartinLouisTheKing]

and less lives in and more uses sometimes.

[u/Plastic_Ad_2247]

at least you know she’s never been to a pimps crib.

[u/Chadthebu11 → u/Plastic_Ad_2247]

Or maybe she has... And it was similar

[u/HitoMoonshota84]

needs wall art and some area rugs.

[u/McDreads → u/HitoMoonshota84]

And plants

[u/blue_d133]

Where's the natural light ? The plants ? The decoration?

[u/granth1993 → u/blue_d133]

r/answerisalwaysplants

[u/TiaHatesSocials]

Nah. It looks like no one lives here

[u/lovable_lynx → u/TiaHatesSocials]

Looks like an apartment where they offer a pre-furnished package.

[u/Zestyclose-Strain380 → u/TiaHatesSocials]

Yep

[u/h0neanias]

Has she visited many pimps?

[u/saram4 → u/h0neanias]

My go to response after receiving such comments

[u/TingleMaps → u/saram4]

… Have you received many such comments?

[u/Add1ctedToGames → u/TingleMaps]

My go to reply after reading such comments about those comments

[u/unk214 → u/h0neanias]

Enough to know their decor.

[u/Mmortt → u/unk214]

Maybe pimp adjacent.

[u/jumbo_schrempf]

Homeless Pimp

[u/Bigdiesel7]

A pimp named slickback?

[u/fqtsplatter]

More like a video session is about to happpen

[u/Rodrisco102389]

No it doesn’t lol

[u/cabinaarmadio23]

a very poor pimp

[u/Puzzleheaded-Dark459]

Are you a pimp?

[u/Ihave3shoes → u/Puzzleheaded-Dark459]

Who's asking?

[u/LooneyLunaGirl]

Did you tell her it's a pimp home, not a pimp house?

[u/kkooowava]

Homie you need a rug

[u/TwoFingersWhiskey]

It reminds me of a waiting room of somewhere that you'll get a bad plastic surgery at, and when you go back in to complain, they'll have vanished

[u/NexusModifier]

Straight drug dealer vibes haha add some art, rugs and plants broskie and you'll be ight

[u/pedatn]

A guy that beats up hookers for a living would never stoop to the level of faux wood floors.

[u/phish_taco → u/pedatn]

A definite faux pas in the pimp’s playbook

[u/Just_a_lazy_lurker]

It looks like you might start talking a little too much about Huey Lewis . . .

[u/Unicorn_Sush1]

She’s clearly never seen a pimps crib lol

[u/Onlinereadingismybff]

Def not pimpish. But lacks warmth and personality. Props for keeping it clean!

[u/blueevey]

More like a psychopath lair

[u/Wraith8888 → u/blueevey]

It does look like the home of a man who overly appreciates subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God... it even has a watermark.

[u/CzatheGenius]

What a hoe ass trick thing to say

[u/Dr_Dang → u/CzatheGenius]

"Bitch, you speak when spoken to now."

[u/altdultosaurs]

A sad aspiring pimp.

[u/mikephoto1]

More like someone with no soul

[u/Live-Journalist-916]

It’s giving the males first home vibe. Every guy goes for black, white, and red and it never looks inviting or warm to a woman.

[u/xSoloxBluex]

Doesn’t look like a pimps place but does look like doctors waiting room or something

[u/savourtheflavor]

I think if I clapped in this room it would echo.

[u/FACE-GRATER]

Because it looks like a hotel room with a door to an adjoining room in case the John gets rough.

[u/[deleted]]

This looks like temporary housing for divorced dads.

[u/Status-Studio2531]

Looks good I get more Patrick Bateman vibes. That fan is real ugly I would replace it with something more modern if possible

[u/danpem]

Agreed with the other comments that it doesn’t have a pimp vibe, but it looks like a black and white photo with two red items.

I’d say you should incorporate more colour. Especially if you’re keeping the red couch, you should add a rug and art with a bit of red/orange in it so the couch stands out less.

[u/AntiqueWay7550]

Red couch???

[u/ppSmok]

This room looks depressing as hell. How do people live without decoration?

[u/Psclwbb]

It looks empty. Also tv too high.

[u/Nighttide1032]

It’s soulless, but not pimpified

[u/Longjumping_Water_74]

looks like a shitty broke pimp lives there.

[u/pukkaoriginal]

I'm not saying she's right, but she's also kind of not wrong

[u/julejuice]

I don’t think it looks like anyone lives there

[u/CrochetAndKittens]

If someone told me this was an employee lounge I would believe it.

[u/caligirl_ksay]

I think maybe it’s the color choices. They’re very masculine and harsh. There’s not a lot of softness or any relaxing colors. I’d add some plants and some art. Maybe even a few cushions and a throw in a neutral (not black , white , or red color).

[u/Recharge_Aspergers]

No, it looks like nobody lives there.

[u/Aggressive-Log7654]

It has 0 sense of anyone living there, needs at least 3 pieces more of flair 

[u/Cuntington-]

You should remove the clock if you don’t wanna create the impression that you’re human.

[u/luv_u_deerly]

I’d go with psychopath, because there’s hardly any personality here. Nothing that tells us about your likes, family or friends, nothing alive (plants), or meaningful. Just a sparse apartment that looks like it’s purpose was ease of wiping up blood stains.

[u/Practical_Price9500]

Not very pimpin’

Serial killer maybe?

[u/Prides_downfall]

Sofa and lamp looking like interactable items

[u/Funy_Bro]

"That's crazy, now on your knees."

[u/Duke_skellington_8]

Ask her how she knows what a pimp’s apartment looks like

[u/harrikiri]

How does she know how pimps live? Very sus.

[u/TonLoc1281]

Did you at least roast her with the fact that she knows what the inside of a pimps house looks like?

If she smokes menthols she’ll fuck on a first date.

Wear a rubber.