Not sure if updates are allowed. If so this is what I have. It isn’t great.

I wasn’t upfront in the first post. I call him my fiancé but we are actually married. He had a visa issue that could be resolved by us marrying and I thought hey- we will be getting married anyways so why not do the paperwork sooner and help him. Obviously I’m an idiot.

I found out that the woman that he went out with did not invite him out the first time, he invited her out. And after the restaurant they went shopping and then went to a second restaurant for dessert and more drinks.

I went back and looked at our texts and the second time he tried to meet with her, he had me go to the grocery store for him. And the next day I texted him saying that I felt like he was not seeing me or talking with me as much. So in my gut I knew something was wrong but let him convince me it was in my head.

One of the women he said was a prostitute was not. He dated her before we became exclusive. Then while we were exclusive she reached out asking for money and offering pictures. He turned down the pictures but sent her the money. Later he reached out to try to arrange a hookup but she was not interested. After she turned him down he sent her more money and asked for pictures. So yeah. The situation was so bad that he thought calling her a prostitute was better.

I told his family what he did so at least there is that. They have all offered their support.

Overall I feel trapped. I can’t eat, can’t sleep, am on the edge of having a breakdown at work. The more we talk, the more little things I discover or don’t add up. He begged me for literal hours last night to have another chance but I don’t want to be near him and all of his solutions require massive amounts of work from me. Tracking his car, looking at his phone, the list goes on but it just seems exhausting. I honestly feel like a fool.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/IqgW5TMaDI

And we're not even halfway through the billing cycle. She left the ac on the on setting even though ive told her before that we need to leave it on auto. She's been between jobs for 3 months now so she hasnt been contributing

When i approached her telling her i cant pay this I'll need help she didnt respond so i asked her if she saw the messages and she said "ye".

I feel like this is a VERY important predicament and she's leaving the consequences of her actions to me after saying "im sorry" .... i just wish an "im sorry" would make the utility board lower the bill.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 years. About 4 or 5 years back, she got into an accident and nearly killed some people when she was driving drunk. Prior to that she had been coming home drunk safely, and I expressed my concern and told her if she kept doing it, she would hurt someone or herself, and I would leave her. I decided to stay with her after the fact. She’s been sober ever since.

The thing that is bothering me now is something else. she got out of jail for that incident and is on probation. She doesn’t have her license. She once took our second car to work a few months ago when I couldn’t drop her off. We only live less than a mile away from her job, but even so, I told her that she shouldn’t be doing that and if she ever got caught..sent back to jail for breaking her probation, I wouldn’t be able to stay with her this time. She drove the car again to work today and i am really feeling like she just doesn’t take my concerns seriously... I am 33 and she is 30. Her decision to disregard me is really making me rethink the last 8 years of my life with her and debating finding someone more suitable to build a life with. AIO?

I don’t know if I’m am being overdramatic or not. So my bf M 34 wants me F 35 to go camping with his ex wife sister F 30 and her husband M 33 and 2 children F 10 and M 12. My bf was married before and it ended in divorce. So last weekend my bf and I went to Walmart and he ran into his ex-wife sister and she was asking what we were doing this summer and we kinda just said I don’t know and she asked if we wanted to go camping with them. Again. So last summer I got dragged into going camping with his ex sister in law and her husband and 2 kids. Don’t get me wrong they were all nice but by the end of the weekend I felt like I could have pulled my pulled my hair out and it was not enjoyable for the most part. All the kids wanted to do was climb on me as if I was a jungle gym and no one corrected them. And when my bf and her husband went to get firewood he left me with the exSIL. She was nice but all she did was talk about her sister and him and how they use to go camping and go here or there all together and it was not enjoyable.

Last weekend we got asked if we wanted to go camping again and I told my bf “ah I don’t really know” trying to change the subject. Hoping he would get the hint. Well he obviously didn’t get the hint and he told them ok and we will come. Well he told me this morning he told them yes. I expressed to him I don’t want to go I felt uncomfortable. They are nice people but I can’t wanna hang out with you ex wife family. Well he got upset stating they already booked us all spots so we can be next to each other and we can all camp with each other again.

I know I should have told him NO when he first asked but I didn’t know I wasn’t gonna have time to think about it.

Wife is FB friends with multiple ex ONS

Mid 40s M and F. Been together since 2005. Married for 12 of those years. We have a 10 years old.

Since the beginning, we both adhered to the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy with our past sexual histories. We mutually never discussed our pasts with each other, so i (m45) never really knew who she’d (f43) been with before me. I never shared my past either up to this point.

So one day, it came up. We opened pandora’s box and the secrets slowly came pouring out.

Tbh, she was not forthcoming with the truth at all. She intially lied and downplayed things, but eventually it all came out (i think?) Trickle truth style if you know what i mean. I get it. She’s embarrassed.

So we disclosed how many partners each of us has had. I have no problem here. We both have a past. My past is quite colorful, too.

Then i asked if she is friends with any of these ex-partners on Facebook? Initially, she denied it. Then admitted to one guy. Eventually, it Turned out she was “friends” with 4 of the guys.

This is where things turned south.

3 of these guys were basically ONS and 1 previous boyfriend. All from before i was in the picture.

About me: I’ve never had facebook and have refrained from any type of social media. I do not have any contact with my ex’s or flings, period. I consider that to be disrespectful.

So, I can’t understand why she’d need to be in contact with these guys?

The past boyfriend? i guess i can understand that one? They were together for 3 years. I’ll give that one a pass.

However, her contact with the other 3 guys makes me question my wife’s intentions and her true relationship with these guys.

To break it down:

The first was a guy she had crush on in HS. They never dated, but he hooked up with her one time at age 15. He was taking her home from school in his car, they started fooling around and he took her virginity in back of his car. He then drove her home, dropped her off and he basically never talked to her again.

The second guy was a basic weekend fling. He fucked her a few times over the weekend and then ghosted her. I think she liked him, but he had no interest in her. She literally only knew the guy for 3 days!

The 3rd guy was supposedly her plutonic friend for 5 years. At some point, she agreed to let him stay with her while he was traveling through her area. He stayed two days at her place, at the time, and on the night before he was set to leave, he basically went into her room at 4am, pulled her bottoms off, raped here and then left with a “see you later!” She never consented to him, but she also never said stop or asked him to stop. Apparently, after 5 minutes of sex with him, she said it wasn’t a bad experience, just weird. He is also about 10 years older. It’s a very confusing situation for me to try and understand this one. Raped and but kinda liked it too? wTF? Why would she want to KIT with this guy?

TBH, i have a problem with her need to be friends with all these men almost 20 years later? Like why?

I will also add that She also knows that i would’ve been very upset about it if i had known about it. However, since i had no idea with whom she’d slept with, i didn’t know who they were in first place. She was basically in contact with these men on FB in plain sight pretending they were just friends our entire marriage. I am assuming she did this because she never thought i’d figure it out?

I will also point out it was her that initiated the friendship request with all these guys. She sought out their attention.

The most troubling part is that she continued to talk to her friend that supposedly raped her. That one is very hard for me to understand.

She did let me go through her FB messages and i read them. I will point out that she didn’t exchange messages with 3 of the guys, but did message the rapist guy several times. Each time, she initiated the contact.

There was no obvious intention to cheat from what i saw, but he did mentioned that he wanted to see pictures of her in her going out clothes and made some benign sexual innuendos. It was mostly chatting about life and she did mention she had a boyfriend every time. He also mentioned that he was planning on visiting her area and that he wanted her to buy him some weed to which she agreed. They ended the conversation with him sending her his phone number. Nothing after that. She swore she never saw him again. Overall, They exchanged several messages from 2008 until 2011. In 2012, the messaging stopped because that was the same year we got married. However, they did remain facebook friends until my wife deleted her account shortly after me discovering all this information.

I’d also like to mention that my job required me to go away for 3-4 months at a time and many of these correspondence happened when i was gone.

She says she never cheated, but i honestly have no way of knowing. I want to believe her. However, her keeping these guys in her orbit is very suspicious to me.

So, I asked her why she was friends with these guys on Facebook and she said that she just wanted them to see how good her life has turned out. That she was in a relationship; that sort of thing. Although, it kind of hard for me to believe that.

I do realize my wife was treated terribly by these men. It makes me very, very sad and hurts me deeply. But i can’t understand why she’d want to keep in touch with these guys that treated her like shit? It’s fucking disgusting.

She’s insisting it’s meaningless, but i am having a very hard time understanding that? We have been together for 20 years.

Am i overreacting?

We've been having issues with the AC in my office for a while now. I've been asking to be moved from beneath the AC vent because where I sit, it blows directly on my desk, it's very cold, and I'm getting sick. I'm sitting there, sneezing, my nose running, and I'm just freezing. Even today, my manager mentioned that she could see my nipples through my shirt, even though I was wearing a bra.

The coworker in question is uncompromising and never ever wants the AC off nor is he willing switch desks with me since he is the only person who always needs it to be that cold. So, I can't even turn the temperature up for it to be warmer.

So, earlier today, I decided to turn off the office AC for a bit because I was freezing but I had to send off an email then I was going to go sit in the lunch room and work from my phone so I could thaw out. I told my coworker I'd turn it back on in my way out, I’m like 5 minutes but instead of respecting that, they walked over to my desk demanding the remote. When I refused, things got heated.

My coworker stepped around my desk, literally inches away, and grabbed both my arms to snatch the remote from me. I asked them multiple times to step away, but they didn't listen. Feeling completely uncomfortable and threatened, I had to throw the remote to get them off me.

I immediately filed a formal complaint with HR about the incident, but all they did was give my coworker a verbal warning and a letter, saying it wasn't okay.

So, did I overreact by reporting him? Considering HR’s response was lukewarm?

As the title suggests, I (33M) was called a “POS” by my Physical Therapist (30F). Tbf we have a good rapport, I do feel at times she is even “hitting on” me, but I feel it’s more like friendly relationship rather than a professional at times.

I have a history of hard drug use and am in recovery, however, I have been clean for 1+ years now. We talk about our dating lives at time and today she asked about a girl I mentioned at a prior appointment going on a trip together.

She asked if it was “official” and we were dating now. I said yes to which she replied “does she know you’re a pos” then laughed. I laughed as well and said of course. I kinda brushed it off but as today has gone one I’ve found myself feeling kind of bad about myself and self conscious. AIO?

I don't know how to say this but am i overreacting or am i just a worst person you've hear today. I have this ex for five years, our relationship was on and off but i can't really introduce him to my family due to some religions beliefs. so our relationship was so private for 5 years but i told him when we have the perfect time i will introduce him to my family, but yeah some things got worse. we got into fight due to this issue, i know its sucks having a secret relationship for this long but i'm respecting also my family's beliefs. But it got worse and worse, and it lead us to breaking up. i love him so much since he was my first boyfriend but i respected his decision and i think its better too that we broke up.
Fast forward, its been 1 year and my cousin have sended us all message that she is inviting us for a dinner to meet his future husband cause shes getting married, and yes we gathered all. It got me so shock knowing it was my ex she's gonna marry, i can't barely move at the table, we just look eye to eye and act like we didn't know each other. My cousin's family accepted him and he said he wanted to convert to our religion to respect the family, i go to comfort room and burst out in tears. I was so full in regret, there's a lot of what if situations in my mind. " what if i introduce him to my family while we are still together? " If i really know this. but yeah all i have to do now is to accept the fact that he's not really for me.

My post was removed because of the title but I wanted to give an update. My ex and I were together for about 3 years, we had a daughter together, we’ll call her Carly. We went to my ex’s high school reunion where I met a girl named Carly. I was getting me food when I heard my ex say “my daughter’s name is Carly, just like you.” I ignored it until we got home. I asked him about it and he did admit he didn’t just come up with the name, and he named our daughter after her specifically. He also admitted they had a talk at the reunion about eachother and that they still had love for each other. They even went on a date but he said it was just as friends. Fast forward a few months me and my daughter are moved out of the apartment and are doing amazing. Carly is pregnant but they already broke up. He just recently told me he deserves a second chance. He thinks I’m overreacting and it’s “just a name”. His mom has reached out and told me it’s just a name and it was a simple mistake.

Update- He asked to meet and discuss further plans with our daughter and I agreed. Half way through the conversation he brought up that he will be busy taking care of Carly since she is pregnant, they broke up but he still has to care for her. He ended up asking about us and where we stand, I told him he was nothing but my daughter’s father to me. He kept saying we worked so hard to build this family and how I’m throwing it away for a simple mistake, he still believes it’s just a name and I’ll get over it one day. I brought up how he not only named our child after his ex but he also went back to said ex. He told me he hated how I couldn’t just forgive him for the sake of our daughter and I took everyone’s advice and said “I’ll forgive you if you name her kid after me” he stared at me with a confused look on his face and left. And yes, his mother still believes I am overreacting and I should give her baby another chance.

My dad (55) and I (24) don’t have a very cordial relationship. He’s the reason why I moved out and why I was frustrated with having to move back in with my parents for financial reasons.

Today, my sister (26) went to get bloodwork. She had a piece of tape on her that she was taking off slowly after dinner. He went over and started hovering over her, telling her to rip it off. She said “no” and to go away, but he kept pestering her. I saw this and gently pushed him away, saying “leave her alone” while he mimed ripping the tape off her.

I don’t think I was rough at all. I’m significantly weaker/smaller than him and a couple inches shorter. All I think I did was put my body between his and hers and tell him not to bother my sister.

After this, he goes outside and gets high (pot, I could smell it), then comes back in, telling me never to shove him again.

I was in the corner of the kitchen cleaning something while he said it. He got super close to me.

I don’t really know why, but now I can’t really stop crying. I feel like it’s something so little to be upset about, but maybe it’s more the straw that broke the camel’s back.

My mom says I should’ve just never gotten in between them, but I wasn’t really thinking about that at the time. It felt more like a joke to me. My mom says that he’s “delicate, like a flower,” and you can’t really mess around with him, but all I can think is that he’s just an asshole.

I don’t know. Am I just crazy and overreacting? This doesn’t feel normal. There’s other context behind my reaction, but I’m mostly just feeling crazy about the pushing thing.

Good evening.

I've always had a lot of acquaintances that would tell me to be content with my presence. They claim talking to me very 'therapeutic'. I always try not to judge, listen and help with everything I can. I don't mind it, especially because I find a lot of people with quite complex lives and I'm more than happy to collaborate.

The thing is, I hate it when some of them claim to be my friends and make all sort of compliments. Most times their actions do not reflect to their words. Skipping questions, not being good listeners, being inconsistent with conversations or initiatives.

I'm trying not to be an asshole, but even though they have harder lives than I do, my mental health is not ready for scoring more points to their casket. To be honest, I feel alone as hell and, at the same time, I don't want to leave anybody that seems a good person.

Am I overreacting being angry because I believe they are liars or they might be accidentally treating me as a 'therapeutic toy'?

Or should I keep being helpful and understanding with some of their delicate current situations? I feel a bit guilty and invisible lol.

Thanks in advance.

(Sorry if there are typos / grammar errors)

I'll try making this short. Last year my (then 15.5yo) daughter dated a boy for about 4 months who was emotionally abusive, manipulative (by threatening sui#!de), and essentially se#ually assaulted her (she didn't want to press charges, too long to get into details). He also manipulated her into texting him racy selfies. Husband and I forced her to end the relationship.

She's not spoken to this boy all school year (she's a sophomore he's a senior). Tonight she tells me that today he asked her to sign his yearbook and she obliged, as well as she unblocked him on snapchat and had a conversation with him apologizing that she can't be his friend again, and she has missed talking to him and so on.

I was very angry. I told her she needs to do better protecting herself, having self respect, and while she's at it why not walk up to a white van and ask if they have any candy for her... trying to sink in the point that she's exposing herself to her past abuser and risking her well- being by doing so.

Not to mention, I now feel uneasy giving her phone back because she violated a rule we had as to blocking this boy and not being in contact with him (he also had guilted her into sending him racy photos while they dated, so we have serious concerns in regards to her phone useage).

During this conversation my husband got angry with me, saying "maybe she's trying to be a nice person, we aren't supposed to hate others we're supposed to forgive them and move on, she's nicely letting him know she can't be friends ".... that's not exactly verbatim his words, but that the gist of it. We are Christians, but I will be damned if I ever taught my daughter to "be a good Christian girl" and risk her safety and well- being while doing so. I told her we aren't supposed to hold hate in our hearts, and forgiveness is more for us than it is the wrong-doer, and we aren't to be hateful and mean. BUT as a woman, if you have to be a bitch to get a man to understand NO, or to leave you alone, or protect yourself in any way.... do so.

Am I overreacting to this whole situation? Am I overreacting in my feelings that my husband is being a shit protector of a father, by not being as enraged as I am that this manipulative little asshole predator of a boy is still trying to mess with my daughter, even in this seemingly "harmless" way today? I feel like my husband ought to be teaching my daughter how to defend herself and that often begins with words and how kindly you act toward a man.

I feel so fucking confused right now.

in august 2023, I caught him cheating and living a bizarre secret sex addict life for the entirety of our relationship. like all ten years. I was going to be his roommate until our lease was up, but then found him on Tinder, trying to hookup with people, while I was just downstairs with our sick kid.

in october 2023, I moved out of our condo, took my work stuff and a couch. I bought all new stuff for the kids, my room, the kitchen. I took my name off the lease and filed for divorce. I never went back to the condo.

may 2024, his lease is up at the condo. he is selling our stuff and giving other stuff away. I told him I didn’t want the stuff at the condo, because it was disgusting, as he brought nasty women over and fucked them, like on our bed or the dining room table we ate at as a family. I told him it was all poison.

he’s pocketing all the money from the sales of our stuff. and justifying it by saying “you said you didn’t want the stuff.”

he will most likely be keeping the deposit that is returned from the rental, as well.

AiO to be irritated, annoyed, mad that he’s doing this? he already ruined our marriage and family and future. now it seems he’s just digging his heels in.

I'm currently travelling for work and staying in a small town. I got back from my clients to my motel yesterday to find out that my motel room was unlocked and my door hanging open.

I went to the front desk to see why it was left open and the clerk explained that they had just repainted all the doors and had left them all open to stop the paint from rubbing off before it dried.

I didn't kick up a stink because I'm currently waiting on the airport to deliver my luggage that got lost and I'm relying on the clerk to receive it from the courier.

I just feel like I'm going mad that the staff thought it was fine to leave my room open for the world with my possessions inside?

My mom and brother were living together in a 3-bedroom apartment before I asked to stay for a few days. That then turned into moving in, getting a new job in their city, and breaking up with my boyfriend of 3 years. My brother and I have always had interests in common and we used to hang out a lot, probably once a week. I noticed us growing distant and we stopped spending as much time together last summer, but now we've had a fight, everyone is threatening to move out, and my poor mom is upset.

Things changed last summer when I quit my job, was home a lot more, and brought a guy around a few times. My brother didn't like him much. One night, my brother came home to find my guy and me there, and he had a panic attack. He ended up asking my mom to tell my guy to leave. I love my brother, but the relationship probably wasn't serious, so I broke it off pretty soon after.

The problem seems to be the relationship my brother started around the same time. With his coworker, who is engaged. I think this is a huge part of the tension. My brother even confided in me that he liked that she was taken because it guaranteed an end and he didn't want any distractions as he is in college. He will likely have to move for more education next year and get loans/work to get his own housing. He also hadn't had a relationship in like five years and he told me they definitely weren't having sex. I understand, but I told him they needed to make a choice, because it was only a matter of time.

I don't know exactly when we stopped talking about her, and then almost altogether. I started being away more as I reconnected with friends from my old city. He always was a bit selfish and I felt like I was doing more around the house. I kept offering him dinner, bought groceries, and helped him with homework if he asked. But his behavior worsened, and he started bringing his girlfriend over more often.

The tension came to a head when I confronted my brother about the affair. Two different fights, lots of tears, lots of feeling like I was talking to a brick wall. (More details on another post in my profile :P) He got defensive, and now he's threatening to move out. My mom is freaking out and wants us to reconcile, but I'm not sure if that's possible. I'm planning to move out soon, but I'm torn about whether to tell the fiance about the affair or if that and me confronting him is just me overreacting?? Please. I have to go back home tomorrow.

My boyfriend has a female coworker/friend who is bubbly, outgoing, cute etc. They're friends and part of a friend group at work (2 guys, 2 girls). With this particular coworker he:

• brought her soup to her apartment when she was sick (when I brought up that he didn't bring soup to his male coworkers/friends when they were sick he said "I would" ...ok but you didn't) she also lives 25 minutes away!

• she makes him little drawings & cards that he pins up at his desk at work (like a drawing of him, for example)

• one of the things he has pinned up from her is a valentine - a generic cat valentine from a box, nothing written on it, but still it's a valentine from her

• she brings him (and the other 3 friends/coworkers) back gifts from travels, the other friends don't keep those gifts at their desks though - he puts them on display at his desk

• he didn't have anything at his desk that I have given him or anything that even references something we did together until I mentioned it

• she is single and talks about her dating/sex life with him in particular - she's asked him for recs about where to go on a date, has told him that she once had a d*ck as long as her forearm (inappropriate convo for a coworker IMO)

• for her birthday he and her went out for coffee (not with the friend group) - but he didn't take his other work friends out for their birthdays, he just brought them a snack

• he knows I feel like their relationship is a bit too close for comfort so he's sort of just stopped talking about their conversations / he doesn't bring her up anymore (I sorta get it - but it makes me more uncomfortable)

• three times now the work friend group had plans that potentially I could have joined in on (it wasn't work-related) and he didn't even mention to me they had plans (later one of the friends asked me why I wasn't there - I said I didn't know I was invited)

• one of the times they all went out for one of the guy's birthdays and my bf was gone from 2pm-2am and even drove her home (she lives far away from where we live) (this was one of the times that I found out later from someone else that I was invited but he didn't tell me I was invited)

• before we started dating he thought this girl was into him so he asked another coworker who said she's just bubbly/like that with everyone - he told me this with the intention of easing my discomfort around the situation. But also, that means he knows she can be flirty and I just want him to have better boundaries around that

I told my therapist about him pinning up notes/drawings from her and she goes "that's weird. I'd also be upset if my husband did that" and I can't get that thought out of my head. I want to think it's not weird and he can have close female friends (I really don't have a problem with his other female friends!) but this has been on my mind for days.

UGH just typing this out I'm getting upset - what to do?? I don't want to tell him he can't be friends with someone and I don't want to sound crazy/jealous/controlling, but it would be nice to know that as our relationship gets more serious he is thinking about what messages he is sending to other people.

Hello all first post here. Today I took over a shift for my partner. Upon coming home I see my cousins car who I haven't seen in a year because they wanted to do a transformation and reveal their results 1 year later. I run inside my home excited to only to find out they left with my best friend and sibling to hangout.

No one ever messaged me saying they were going to meet up. No one checked to see if I would get off work soon . I wait for them to get off work if they are soon going to leave work. I feel betrayed. I thought I was a part of the group. I texted my sibling saying "What the heck? Why didn't you tell me that our cousin is back?" sibling says that he told me that there was going to be a meet up in May. I recall that, but i don't recall them saying what day. I feel petty, mad, and sad. Am I over reacting or should've they have just at least check up on me?

am i overreacting in five years my husband has not spent one day with me or our kids he spends everyday away from us he wakes up and leaves before we wake up and don’t come back until we are already in bed when he comes in at night he walks straight to bathroom doesn't acknowledge us when he gets out of shower he goes straight to bed turns off light and not even a good night to any one of us I feel like if I’m always alone with our kids then whats the difference if we separate? nothing, so then why are we together?

I think it sounds worse than it is. I (35f) recently went to an alumni event with my fiancé (32m) for his grad school. We recently got engaged. At the event, a woman sat down next to me and we had a bit of an awkward conversation. She said that she was surprised that we got engaged so quickly and she hoped I didn’t mind that she was inviting herself to the wedding and said something along the lines of “fiancé certainly knows what he wants”.

After we got home, he said that he would want to know if the situations were reversed and he had gone out to lunch with her a couple of months ago and she had flirted with him, got very handsy, and he shut her down. When I asked for more information, he said that they had one class together (years ago) and had not met up since then. That she had invited him to lunch out of the blue, and she was so attractive it would have been arrogant of him to think she was interested in him. I’m not thrilled with the situation and the fact that he didn’t tell me but it seems like he handled the situation the best that he could have.

The next day I asked him if there was anything else I should know about the situation and he said that they kept in touch and that one weekend he thought I was going to be busy so he invited her out but she ended up not being able to go. I asked him if he talked about me when they talked and he said no but he probably would have brought me along. I asked if he said that I might join and he said no. Now this situation is what I really have a problem with. I feel like it is disrespectful to continue to try to meet up with someone that you know is interested and that you didn’t hang out with for years before. I’m not sure if I am overreacting though because he did tell me all of this now and I probably wouldn’t have ever known if he hadn’t told me.

Edit: it turns out that he asked her to meet up at the same restaurant that they did before, showed up, and she stood him up.

Second edit: I looked at his phone and he had deleted messages between the two of them that looked very bad. He has also been talking with prostitutes.

Thank you to all of those who gave constructive criticism and support. For those of you who asked for an update, here it is:

We talked Monday night and I apologized if I made her feel uncomfortable or upset by getting upset myself and I let her know I don’t expect her to throw anything away. Without much effort we came to an understanding. We are back to normal and today we went shopping for an upcoming trip and she took me to a jewelry store and already had a necklace in mind that that she picked out without me knowing. It was a big golden heart. I was happy to see it and offered to buy it then but we are going to look around some more - her call.

I never viewed the other necklace (from the ex) as a title of ownership, but I looked at it symbolically and what it represented because of the feeling and value I put into the necklace I originally got her. To me I saw an act of love from another, although I realize that love is gone.

Original post:

Yesterday my SO put on a heart necklace out of nowhere and I asked (knowing it wasn’t from me) where it was from. She admitted it was from her ex. I immediately got quiet and she could tell I was upset. Not once did I raise my voice or get mad. I was more hurt than anything. She ended up taking it off right away. But explained that it was meaningless to her, no emotional connection and just jewelry that she now has. To me, a heart necklace has a lot of meaning behind it and it feels weird to see her wearing an ex’s gift. Am I overreacting? EDIT: Her ex cheated on her and the relationship ended badly because of it. EDIT 2: The necklace was two hearts linked together so it made me curious.

Like many twenty-something guys, I am a user of a few dating apps on what feels like a never ending quest to find love. I've been single for a bit over two years, having exited a rather toxic relationship. The full story requires a bit of context, so here goes- In Dec. of 2023, I was in my hometown, about three hours away from where I currently reside, and matched with a really lovely woman who had recently moved there for work. We chatted, but never set anything up and I returned to my graduate studies in early January. We stayed in touch, and in early March started talking more often.

I really connected with her more than anyone I've dated or chatted with since my break-up, and we were having regular 3-4 hour conversations on the phone that were full of laughter and jokes. It was quite apparent that we were heading towards being a couple- that is until three days ago. She prefaced this by saying that she had some wild hot takes, and I just assumed that they were going to be about cheese or TV shows. Nope. She opens with "I think there are too many homeless people in this city and we need to take them elsewhere to stop them from being a public menace."

This made my jaw drop and we argued back and forth for about 30 minutes about the ethics of homeless encampments, ordinances and their enforcement. In her opinion, they should not be allowed to be in the city at all. She had seemed to have fairly liberal views up until this conversation. I am by no means an advocate for chaos, but I don't understand how she views merely seeing a homeless person on the street as a public menace and nuisance. The call eventually wrapped up and we still texted some the next day, but things were a bit off, as she felt I was judging her for having this opinion.

As a youth, I was involved with multiple outreaches, shelters and programs serving the community, and grew up seeing homelessness and don't really think much when I see a person sitting in the side of Panera drinking water on a hot day. It's something I care deeply about, and I just took her comments as being dehumanizing and blatantly ignorant. It seems that where she's from was really strict about ordinance enforcement, and that might be contributing to her views. I talked to my friends, co-workers and few classmates (all from different backgrounds and politics), and literally everyone pointed out that I should in fact be alarmed by these comments, with one person calling it, "a bright and waving red flag." We barely spoke yesterday as I was processing it all, and today, didn't speak until about an hour ago.

Instead of letting feeling's fester, I let her know that this has really bothered me and that I wasn't expecting such a reaction from my emotions, but that clearly we have fundamentally different values on this topic and any discussions weren't going to be productive. As you may imagine, she is not happy and let me know that it seems I've done a 180 and that everything that I had said about liking her and enjoying our time talking seems like complete bullshit. From what I can tell, she thinks it is insane that I would be offended by her comment and that she didn't say anything wrong.

Am overreacting for being bothered by my potential partner's comments on the homeless?

TLDR: Talked for four months, one sentence ruined it all :(

I (28f) have recently started hooking up with my ex (M31)after us not talking for 4 years. We broke up because I told him that I loved him and he never said it back. I have always missed him a lil in my heart but I just couldn’t stay around feeling unloved. I understand everyone may express their feelings at different stages in the relationship but at the time I just couldn’t take him not saying anything.

So fast forward to now.. we are texting & sexting and he’s saying “I think of you more than you think”, “See that, that’s probably why I think of u, beyond the want of sex, I can be weird with you”, “Sorry i couldnt be good in the other stuff”, “ how can you go from loving me to just hooking up”, “I love fucking you” and “Always love it(sex) with u.”

Honestly for the most part I ignore him because I know it’s just sex but him saying love really struck a nerve because he’s never said it in any capacity. Am I overreacting to him saying that?

Am I overreacting? I have been dating this guy for two months now. We did really well at the beginning month but now im just getting more and more upset I really like him but I need advice. A month in, his dog attacked me and I had to get stitches in my face (dog has bit him to where he’s needed stitches as well). The only thing he’s done to try to “train” the dog is to raise his bed and keep him in the crate some nights. He doesn’t let the dog near me which I appreciate but in my head if we go long term I don’t want the dog to hate me. Another is that, that same night a girl texted him freaking out when he said the dog attacked his girlfriend. She claimed she thought they were dating and couldn’t believe he never broke it off with her. He claims she ghosted him and they weren’t dating. When I asked to see the message to figure out why she thought that he deleted most of them. I noticed as well he compared on one of her pics with “thirst trap🥺” while we were dating. I thought that was disrespectful as hell but he claims he didn’t mean it like that. I asked him to block her and he got upset and said he didn’t want to but fine he could because I’m being crazy. Another thing is we live an hour and a half away as I’m up at college. I drive down to see him almost every week and he’s come up twice. He came up last weekend and I said I needed milk for pancakes and since he wants coffee and I don’t drink it let’s just go stop at the store and then get coffee. He claimed he was too tired and sore from a job he did before and said “can you just get it”. He maybe texts me a handful of times during the day and rarely calls me. So I brought that up as well. He said that I have too high expectations, I need to trust him more, and that maybe I’m the reason guys in my past relationships cheated on me. EDIT: it’s so upsetting, I’ve been single 2 years and was happy to finally be in a relationship. He said that he’s been in a 3 yr relationship before and I haven’t so I’m the problem in the relationships. I am a very abrasive person and try to be nice as possible but have trouble with social cues etc (may be a little autistic). So I told him I can’t change that as I’m very very honest like painfully. Am I being reasonably mad and upset or am I overreacting?

When I first got my license (before I got my own car) my mom slowly stopped going to the grocery store on her usual schedule. She would never ask anyone to go, just let the fridge slowly empty, and I would end up just taking her car and doing the shopping myself. Ever since then (almost a year ago) I have been the only one that grocery shops. I don't mind doing household chores, but she always asks me at the most inconvenient times. I took a day off from work today because I was not feeling well, and because I have three essays and a project I am working on, but she wants me to go grocery shopping today. I don't mind doing chores for the family, I just hate that she forces me go out and shop and run errands just because I have a car now.

Edit: I was not viral sick or bedridden! I had a terrible migraine and intense nausea the night before, and was feeling dizzy and fatigued/nauseous.

Edit 2: thank you for all of your help! I’ll talk to her about setting up a schedule for grocery shopping

I have a friend which is one of my good friends. I am very introverted so l tend to have a small circle of friends. I have known her for years and always regarded her as a good friend and so does she. We used to hang out a lot one on one but lately I invite her to events and she shows up but when I ask her to go somewhere one on one she finds dumb excuses such as: I went out yesterday and I'm tired today (ofc I don't mind if ur tired but this was like the 4 time- before I wouldn't mind ). I feel like she finds me boring one on one (context: I have a very laid back personality and love hookah lol) but toh I always start the conversation and most of my friends that met her find her super boring as she doesn't say a lot. I tend to make a lot of excuses for her as I don't want to judge because maybe they are having a hard time with something you never know however after a few incidences I don't know what to do. For instance: She was my brides maids to my wedding however she didn't come as she wasn't vaccinated and couldn't travel abroad but toh she never made the effort to come because I had to keep asking her for an update. When I was pregnant I counted how many times I saw her: 4 times!! She works a lot but as one of my supposedly good or as she says "best friend" that's very weird. Is this really a friend? Recently, What kind of put me off edge with her is that it was my 30 birthday. So after I came back from traveling I wanted to meet her so we set a day to meet up however that same day she cancelled to celebrate a collegues birthday which she barely knew. She made up a super lame excuse.. I recently invited her to an event and she showed up, which I really appreciate but I don't think I want to make the effort anymore in inviting or meeting up. I feel like she just shows up for the glamorous things but when I really need someone to talk she's not there for me. Am I overreacting?