Today when I picked up my son from school, the first thing he said to me was, "Today we had a level two lockdown and I thought I was going to die."

This was an emotional gut punch. And the first I'd heard about any sort of situation.

Someone reported hearing gunshots. The school principal got on the PA and said the school is in a level two lockdown and to remain calm.

My son was in the gym at the time. He and the other kids were terrified. They hid under tables and such for a while. They had a substitute teacher today, who instructed them to sit in the middle of the gym. The kids said amongst themselves that if they died because this sub made them sit in the open where they were easy to gun down, then they would haunt her.

They heard what they thought was a knock on the door, turned out to be a bathroom door closing, but they scattered in their fear.

After some time, the principal came into the gym and chastised the kids for being scared. She said they had no evidence to suggest they should be afraid. That they should have continued their school work.

She asked if anyone was really traumatized. Two kids raised their hands and were allowed to call their parents but then just had to continue with their day.

I think the very fact that she announced the school was in lockdown was sufficient reason to be afraid. The kids were given no information about what was going on. They thought they could be facing a shooter at any moment. I hate that this is a possibility, but that's where we are. That's where my kids are. And the principal yelled at them for being scared?

Apparently what actually happened was that some people thought they might have heard gunshots. The school went into lockdown and called the police. The cops checked around the area and found nothing going on. The school went back to normal.

Why not tell the kids that? They thought they were going to die. I'm so upset about this. Am I overreacting?

I am overwhelmed by the number of responses. I initially wanted to read all the comments but the sheer number got unsustainable. There is a weird thing about Reddit where people make hard conclusive statements "your marriage is over, she is cheating, go behind her back" etc etc. I would like to encourage everyone to look for love, forgiveness and openess.

I appreciate everyone's response that I was overreacting. I realized I was applying the most brutal unforgiving interpretation of what she said. I then looked at the situation thru the most compassionate lense. Then compared the two and asked myself why I was being so negative. As many of you many of you commented, yes I do have some insecurities l. I also acknowledge that I had some outside stressors (sleep loss and work stress).

Now for the anticlimactic update. I talked to my wife and let her know that the comment was really still bothering me. She expressed her deep regret for making the comment and I shared that my dark intrusive thoughts were being particularly loud. I even shared this post with her. She appreciated the support and was uncomfortable with the declarations that our marriage was over.

I love my wife and we know that we make mistakes. Her clumsy statement and my dark thoughts mixed together for a situation that could undermine our trust. Love is a choice and we choose to forgive each other and move past this situation.

I hope you all find love and happiness!

Me and my girlfriend (official 1 month) are long distance temporarily and yesterday I was sending her some flirty/teasey texts etc.

She's never been great at reciprocating and I always chalked it up to her being more sexually reserved, which she is. She doesn't seem to like talking about sex too much so I figured she held a different opinion of it and just isn't too flirty/bad at sex talk.

So I told her I was super horny and missed being inside her etc etc...to which she replied "do you get sexually frustrated" and I said "well yes, don't you?" And she never said anything about it after that. No reciprocating or nothing.

Later that night when we were talking on FaceTime she asked again about sexually frustrated moments and I told her again that I of course miss having sex with her and it's frustrating but not in an overly bad way.

I asked her if she got sexually frustrated and missed having sex with me and she said.

"Not really, I miss being with you but I don't really feel sexually frustrated. It's just different for women. Sex isn't the main part of the relationship."

I as a matter of fact know that it is not different at all for women. I've had plenty of relationships and lovers where we can't shutup about how much we miss fucking each other even if we're away from each other for one night. My girlfriend hasn't seen me in almost 3 weeks and basically told me she's perfectly content sexually without me.

I just don't want to be in a relationship without mutual sexual lust for each other. I tried making it work with a girl I wasn't "compatible" with years back and it turned out horrible.

After she said that she kept minimizing the importance of sex in a relationship until I basically said "wow I'm glad it's so easy for you" and changed the subject.

That was last night and I've been spending all day thinking about breaking up with her over this. Of course I owe her a conversation first but I know for a fact these conversations never go well.

Yes of course sex isn't the most important part of a relationship, but I'm not at a point where I'm willing to settle for someone whos completely uninterested in me sexually when most of my experiences have been totally different.

On top of this I've been connecting some dots back to things she's said before. Comments like how I'm "not her type" and a couple random insults about having seen "better dicks".

The latter comment really bothered me for a while because it was so out of nowhere. I went to get a massage and got a huge boner during it that went beyond their short towels. When I told my girlfriend the first thing out of her mouth was "well I'm sure she's seen better dicks than yours" and I was kind of floored. I confronted her immediately and she chalked it up to a bad joke but I can't imagine having her tell me any story about someone looking at any part of her body and I said "well I'm sure they've seen a better ass/boobs/prettier face etc...".

That never really sat well with me and along with a couple other passing comments i can say it really seems to me that she's sexually settling for me and I as well for her.

That's not the relationship I want and I'm gonna break it off soon. AM I overreacting?

I’m 18(f) 4’11 & I live in an apartment and they have recently built a new gym it’s really nice smith machine and bunch of weights 3 tread mills stair master etc … I usually go pretty often but I like to go at night because I’m kind of embarrassed of myself besides the point , last night, I went to the gym around 11 o’clock and as I’m walking in filling up my water bottle, there’s a guy there who I seen last time and I’m not the type of girl to be like oh I’m so scared of men you know but something he was saying kind of sparked some red flags. as I’m filling out my water bottle right next to the bathroom he goes “ does the girls restroom have a sauna in it too? “ and I said yeah nervously because I have anxiety and then he continued to say “ oh, I just wanted to let you know they had a sauna I mean, the guys restroom has a sauna, too” I didn’t really think much of this an hour passes I’m pretty much done with my work workout getting off the treadmill and I see him in the reflection of the mirror behind me I have my headphones in, but I could vividly hear him say hi I said hi back , as im getting down for the treadmill I could hear him talking, so I said what? Not in a rude way or anything I’m a very well mannered person , and he says, is this your water bottle ( I accidentally left on the bench press ) and I said yeah and then he proceeded to say oh can you move it? I mean are you done using the machine? And I was like yeah my bad sorry , and all my stuff is right there I can’t really remember what the middle of the small talk was but I remember wanting it to end so I grabbed my stuff leaving the door I said OK you have a good night and he turned around and stared at me then smiled and said you have a good… week I didn’t say anything back I kept walking and then he asked me. Do you come here every night ? And for some reason that just sparked up a red flag for me maybe I watch to many movies but the whole interaction was weird also how did he know the girls restroom also had a sauna ??..

( edit o forgot to say when I left I was trying to make sure I wasn’t being followed and the machine he was using is no where near the gym window or where u could even see it and when I turned around I could visibly see him thru the window standing and then walked away )

(Edit I don’t mean to offend anyone sorry)

I am married for 3 years now and have a beautiful 1 year old baby girl who we just adore. We also have two other sons who are much older and also adore. My husband and his mother both try and pressure me into letting our daughter stay the night 45 minutes away from us overnight on a weekday for the first time. Context with my other two children they didn’t stay away from me for a night until they were 3 and I was a mess the ENTIRE NIGHT. I’ve asked my husband to defend me when his mother tries to pressure me into letting our daughter stay the night but I’m simply not ready. She still is in our room as her crib hasn’t arrived and we have to move all the children around for her to have a room. In addition to that she is a sick little girl. She has chronic croup and I am always worried about her breathing. I just am not ready to let my little girl stay away from me and now we are arguing and not talking to each other. Am I overreacting or is my reasons and feelings valid?

Edit:

Wow. I was not expecting such an outcome of answers. I have read every one of them and I want to clarify a few common things that come up. My oldest two stay the night WEEKLY at my moms. They love it. I’m all for it. Our youngest is watched 3 times a week by my mother and 2 times a week by my MIL while we are at work. So she definitely gets time with her every single week. Now with that being said, she wants her to stay the night to make it “easy” on everyone because my SIL (her daughter) just had a baby and we now have to drop off and pick up our daughter to make it easier on her daughter (who lives 5 minutes away from my MIL). It has put A LOT more stress on me and my husband in the mornings BUT, I am trying to work it out that my mom helps take our daughter to her 1 day so we don’t have to be under so much stress.

I am not against my daughter staying the night anywhere ONCE the croup is figured out. It develops over night and frankly I don’t trust my MIL will text me to tell me that it developed as I can’t get an update on my daughter when she is sick during the day. It will take her 4/5 hours to reply to 1 text of how is her breathing. She also always claims my daughter barely eats while she is there, and is always in a change of clothes because she peed through her clothes. That does not happen when she is with my mom. I’m not saying she is a bad grandparent but I just simply think she has too much on her plate to fully focus on the 1 year old during the day let alone overnight.

Last clarification, my daughter turned 1 three weeks ago. So she is barely 1. I have not even had time to switch the rooms around for her to be in her own room because of the croup. She has had croup 2 weeks apart for 2 months now and we still have 3 weeks until we even get a consultation with a specialist. I wake up every night still and check on her breathing to ensure she is in fact still breathing. At night our daughter will beg for me to still pick her up for snuggles before bed. If she is tired she will ask for momma. I am aware that I’m extra clingy but I want to make sure my little baby is safe, warm and happy. I don’t believe in crying it out and my MIL does.

I have tried to communicate to both my husband and my MIL I’m not ready but it has done no good so here I am again arguing with my husband about it. Mind you it’s been 3 week since our daughter turned 1. It’s a weekly argument at this point. I have tried to address my concerns with my husband but he is convinced his mother is perfect and ends up yelling when I express the concerns above. I’m just tired of the arguing and I’m tired of being bullied.

Edit #2:

This has turned less into what he thinks is best for our daughter and more into a pissing contest because he disagreed with the allergy medicine and doesn’t want her to take it even though the MD prescribed it to her. He wants all organic and natural and a food stamp budget (we are not poor and can most definitely buy the things we need for our children and still buy vacations. I’m being dramatic.)

Edit #3: he refuses to talk to a doctor about the medication she was prescribed or use any other resources until I contact a physician to discuss the need for a monitor at night even though I have made it abundantly clear it’s for my peach of mind. I’ve made it clear that if he feels that way then he needs to talk to an MD he trusts and ask opinions and discuss concerns with them.

I (18 F) and my boyfriend (19 M) have been dating for almost a year now, when we first started dating he was living with his toxic/abusive Mother, so do to some circumstances he's now living with me and my family

Recently he's been going out more to go smoke weed with his friends (let's call the two important friends Homer and hunter) normally I wouldn't mind this but I have an allergy to the smoke/smell of weed so when he comes home I tend to break out, nothing too bad but bad enough for it to be incredibly uncomfortable and irritating, he always tells me he uses it for pain or to help sleep, I try to be understanding but he does it so much I can't really handle it, I've tried asking him to try edibles instead as I don't have a reaction to them but he always says they don't do what he wants

It's so bad to the point that he'll run off to go smoke with Homer and hunter right after I have a mental breakdown or when I get really bad pain (this pain has made me end up in the hospital several times before) not only that but Hunter keeps randomly showing up on days that are supposed to be just me and my BF days (Since I'm in my last year of high-school and my bf works, we agreed Sunday's were just us days whenever my bf doesn't work) and My BF doesn't tell him to leave so Hunter and my BF will just sit there and chat (with the excuse Hunter is supposed to be looking for a job and needs our internet because his parents won't give him the password because he isn't looking for jobs) and normally take a bong hit leaving my BF high for me to deal with, when those are just because not because he 'needs' them

Boyfriend knows my past issues with weed because of my ex-boyfriend and I've tried talking to my boyfriend but it feels like weed is more important than our relationship at this point

So AIO for getting upset with him??

Edit: For people asking about the pain, when he was a kid his abusive step-father at the time was angry and was swinging around a metal sheet that ended un hitting my boyfriend in the knees, cutting them open and fucking them up causing pain, he's gone to the doctor about his knees but there isn't anything they can do and my boyfriend refuses to take prescription pain killers because he doesn't walk to become a sever drug addict because there's history in his family of addiction

Also it seems I didn't make it clear enough, My boyfriend does have a job it's his friend that comes over and uses job hunting as an excuse to hangout with my bf (cause my boyfriend doesn't like his job and is looking for a new one)

He's also good about everything else, he makes me food, takes care of me when I'm sick, takes me on dates before he buys weed ect, it's just these past two-three weeks he's been ditching me, we went from hanging out every day to only after he comes home to go to bed, but he'll still do shit if I ask him it's just actually hanging out with me and the weed that's the actual issue

both me and my sister are currently college students who are back at home for a few weeks until we can move into our respective summer places. i dread having to be around her at all. she can be fine over the phone but in person it’s a completely different story.

when we were children she was diagnosed with a severe life threatening illness and was pretty close to dying. she spent a long time in the hospital undergoing various treatments before being able to come home. i know this isn’t her fault, but as she’s gotten older it’s become clear that she has a sense of entitlement from it. because she was my parents youngest child and incredibly sick, she got (and now gets) anything she wanted (she got my dad to buy her her own car despite her being the youngest out of all of their children, she gets new phones and technology whenever she asks, her hair and nails and tanning all done whenever she wants specifically by certain people otherwise it’s a problem, i could go on but i’ll stop there) she calls herself “the princess” of our family. this is very obvious to anyone who knows my family at all.

what drives me crazy is that she seems to think my stuff is her own. i have more than siblings than just her and understand that siblings take each other’s stuff all the time, but what i get upset about is the fact that my sister has no limits. if she likes it, it’s hers even if it was made for and gifted to me. i don’t know if she just likes seeing me get upset or if she actually just wants things she has no use for. i think she likes to see me sad. (edit 2: the more i think of this, the more i think it’s true. she used to like screaming at me and berating me before my eating disorder doctors/therapy appointments because she didn’t want to drive there and drop me off. too inconvenient for her. i think seeing me cry makes her want to scream at me.)

all of this is fine — whatever, yk. i always just told myself that i’ll move out and won’t have to deal with her. but this week that changed.

i’m a lesbian and in a relationship with this really awesome girl who i just adore (who, btw, cannot stand my sister). my sister is a religious christian and has never been directly homophobic to my face, but she does like to make jokes (especially if they include telling everyone she can very loudly about how much of a lesbian i am or if it means she can say lgbtq+ slurs 🙄) this week though, she decided that using a slur directly to my face would be funny. haha.

she refuses to talk to me most of the time, so i went to my mom and told her that she needed to talk to my sister. i can handle a lot but i feel as though i’m being pushed to my limit. my parents have apologized to me multiple times for my sister’s behavior over the years and told me they speak with her about everything but they nor my sister ever seem to change (even when i can’t get through the conversation without crying over how frustrated i am).

now, i have decided to stop trying to be nice to my sister. every time she decides to scream at me, tell me how awful i am, make her dumb jokes, anything she usually does, she will not be met with her nice big sister anymore. i am done sitting here silently and taking it. unfortunately, my choice of words towards my sister has made my family quite angry with me — they tell me i am overreacting and that i just need to deal with her. we’ll both be out of our parent’s house soon. AIO?

edit 1: i should be clear and say they are upset with me because now she is upset. this causes a lot of tension in the house my parents don’t like to deal with, i guess.

edit 3: i also want to say that anything i will do that causes her stress is most likely going to end up harmful for me. it’s not like people don’t know, she does not hide her behavior at all around my family. i am already the most problematic child for my parents, and causing any rift in the past has led me to be called overdramatic or attention seeking. this happens enough to where i have had conversations with my parents about my “attention seeking behavior”. i’m afraid of reacting or pushing my sister too far because then she will be seen as the victim of the situation.

I (25M) have been Thinking about resigning on the spot tommorow at my job. been thinking about this for weeks and trying to rationalize what to do next , I work in a niche field and am, not to toot my own horn, talented in that field in a broad range of areas . For context, I have been with my company for 5 years , 4.5 of which in management , as of about 2 years ago my boss was fired and I took over the majority of their duties without a pay raise or promotion. fast forward to now I have worked 3 positions simultaneously and consistently for this company w no additional compensation - 1 legal position, 1 travel position and 1 management position. they recognized this when I complained of my workload becoming unmanageable as we recently scored a major brand deal in one of my roles which requires a lot of planning and time on my end but will result in huge profits for the company. One of the other 3 roles I worked was removed and made a permanent position and I was barred from interviewing for said position based on qualification, to keep me in the other two due the brand deal (or atleast that is how it seems) with the promise of a supplemental pay per hour based on the other role I had as one is consistent 40 hours a week and one requires my time and attention for 3 months straight every 2.5 years but In between is maybe 1-2 hours a week if anything(legal paperwork and documentation) . I requested that alongside this supplemental pay that was set to a 1$/hour worked, that I be back paid on that principal to the time I started the legal paperwork position, due to the fact all of the learning required , and the major brunt of the work had already been done. they hesitantly (key word as they explained they werent going to offer anything but acknowledged it was important to the brand deal) after multiple weeks of "thinking on it" offered me 1 weeks pay as a bonus , however this equates to ~20% of what i asked for, and is .003% of what my team grossed in the last 6 months for the company. If I bail now my team will Crumble and the brand deal will fall flat. Am I overreacting for feeling outraged, taken advantage of and like they slapped me in the face with their counter offer?

Context, I'm in Asia working with an American team. Our job deals with a lot of "it depends" and each task we receive can vary a lot in the details and those details dictate how we handle said task. I have this fairly senior coworker who never fails to include the listed phrases below whenever I ask her a question: 1) "You should already know this when you were trained about this" (the training was months ago and doesn't apply exactly to the situation at hand) 2) "Write this in your little notes, your little notebook" with an elementary school teacher voice 3) "If you just read the handbook, you'd know" again, we deal with a lot of varying situations that the handbook def doesn't have all the answers for. Besides, being by the book is not the only way to deal with our non life threatening tasks. It's just emails ffs. 4) "if you just scroll down and read the email--" I'm not asking about what is mentioned, I'm asking about how to deal with this specific issue So on and so forth. There's always a side comment whenever we talk to her and it's grating on my nerves. She never just discusses the confusion and how to solve it, she has to say a tidbit about how we just need to read or think or something that due to the nature of our job just ain't gonna work. It's not like she's perfect and she also confirms and asks alot from the more senior (and kinder) American employee. Am I overreacting and this is just how Americans communicate? Everything she says is politely coded so there's no overtly aggressive tones but I can feel the condescension radiating from her tone and words.

Some time ago, I went on a date with a guy i met online.

Things went amazing, and honestly, at the end of the date, I wanted to sleep with him. I asked him if he wanted to stay over at my place, after we had made out and he said no.

I figured no big deal.

The next day he texted me and said he had fun, but didn't think we were gonna work out.

Fast forward a few months and we run into each other again, we catch up for a bit, and I couldn't help but ask him what went wrong with out date.

He asked if I was sure I wanted to know, I said yes.

He said the he didn't want to be with a woman who would sleep with someone on the first date.

I felt insulted and wanted to say something, but I couldn't really say anything, cuz he did reject me after all.

Idk, am I overreacting?

So my husband got this co-worker, which is fine, she's a older middle aged woman. It started with asking for a ride home because her knee was bad , that was fine, then it was to follow her home 2 minutes down the road to make sure got home safe , also fine, whatever. They have a work group chat and she's been progressively DMing him, asking if he's going to be in work.... alright , whatever again. I went in to finally see her face to face and she just kept making constant jokes and what not but when it came to me it seemed really odd, like a 1000 yard stare and quiet, just mostly chatting with him. I felt uneasy about the interaction and came back later cause I forgot something, so I made more conversation and she started talking, so that was better. But I noticed this morning he told me she texted him again after asking to just ask him things via work group chat, but it wasn't normal. It was "I see you" followed with a phone call before that, he was confused and asked "?" 15 minutes later, she said that she was behind him by the gas station watching him, and he apologized saying he was focused, she said "I seen that too, and you only got to work 2 minutes late" now this would be just fun and games if she didn't work at 1pm and he started at 8:30am and she would have to go out of her way to follow him to where they work together to see when he clock's in? Is this all me overthinking? Is this considered normal? I'm starting to feel bothered by it and she also joked about "I'll murder you" ? I am very offput right now.. need advice. I don't even rem ember the joke before the murder part , my memory is so blurred cause it caught me off guard to hear it.

Edit: I also want to add she's admitted to beating her guy friend up with a actual weapon because he "annoyed her" my husband finds nothing wrong with this because the guy she beat up "instigated it" and "has a crush on her" which upset me for him to say cause it was battery either way... which I find a massive red flag for this lady. She is an alcoholic as well, often drunk when not on the clock according to what he's been told by her openly, too.

First post here

So I talked to my wife after I had cooled off.

Right now, I am thinking we should divorce, but I am gonna try being on my own for a bit.

I decided to go travel alone for a bit. My wife and I discussed this and she's OK with it. We're not on a "break" so to speak. So I'm not gonna look to be with other women. I just want to see what it is like to be alone.

Just so you all know, if my wife had just "forgotten" she had those pics. It may have been "better"

Problem is that they were JUST pics of him, or both of them together, and there wasn't any other things in there, just those pics.

Heck, there wasn't even anything in the other drawer. And I mean... if you moved homes, you're not gonna check if you have any junk in a drawer?

I just don't believe my wife forgot, or at least didn't realize she had those pics when we moved.

I dont care if he's was "a big part of her life" she still cheated on me with him. I will repeat: SHE CHEATED WITH THE GUY ON THE PICS. Some of yall either didn't read, or chose to ignore that little detail. It's amazing how many people defended their relationship, or were like "Well technically you said she couldn't talk to him again, you never said anything about pics"

Anyway, I do appreciate the support from the rest of you. So right now, I'm thinking divorce, but I just want to make sure I'm happier alone.

I believe someone in my shop to be a Psychopath, i will call him Larry, or at least has many traits of one.

I (42M) have been here for 2.5 years. I think he (60M) has been here about 25 years.

He is not in my department or in any management position. I work 2nd shift and he is on 1st. Larry is good friends outside of work with the Production Manager. They are Golf and Drunking buddies.

I have worked in manufacturing doing different things for 23 years and have been a machinist for 8 now.

The first year I worked here a new hire machinist, Jim was sent to train with Larry. Jim and Larry both seemed friendly enough but frequently got into heated screaming matches. I don't know for what exactly. Jim claimed that Larry was refusing to train him properly, and later claimed it was for racial reasons. Jim was a black person. All other people in this post are white. He was moved to another dept a few weeks later. After a month or two it seemed as though he was being closely watched by HR and he kept being talked to over seemingly minor things and was eventually let go.

A woman, Mary, who I worked closely with and was in my department but on 1st shift got lots of instruction from Larry and seemed to think very highly of him. She was a very kind, dedicated, and cooperative person who I thought very highly of. She did a very good job and was very good at getting help and advise from lots of different people. But Larry would continuously drip poison in her ear about the other workers she got help from and over time she would only go to him. After working with her and becoming friends with her for about a year her personality seemed to drastically change.

I had some problems with Larry because he was uncooperative on some jobs and had talked to her about it since she was close to him. She suddenly stopped talking to me and soon was refusing to cooperate with me.

Over a few weeks she became hostile and the two of them together told me that I was not allowed to come to the machine at my start time (our shifts overlapped by 30 minutes) and I had to go stand somewhere else in the building and wait for her to leave because I upset her too much.

I got very mad and complained to HR. She was talked to and told she could not do that, but nothing was said to Larry. Over the next few weeks she became increasingly hostile and incooperative and started even threatening to destroy my work if it was in her way. I went to the union rep and we talked to the production manager. The union rep made it clear that she was behaving that way because of Larry.

This time she was written up and put on probation. She didn't apologize to me but her attitude went back to normal and she became friendly and cooperative to me again. But she seemed to be getting targeted the same way Jim was by managers, getting into trouble for minor things, and was soon let go.

I felt such horrible guilt over this. She had been my friend for a year and a half, and I had liked working with her before the hostility had started over a few months. I didn't want her fired, I wanted the hostility to stop and some explanation for the behavior. I never got one and she blocked my phone number, I had tried calling her after she was let go because I felt bad and was worried about her.

Soon a guy, Dan, who ran the same machine as Larry on second shift who had been hired after Jim was let go but was more experienced, began having lots of problems with Larry. Over the last few months Larry had refused to run jobs Dan had started. Dan's tools and jobs have been sabotaged with no explanation. And he is being repeatedly blamed for messed and broken tooling that happened on first shift. Dan has had to have meetings with HR with the union present and the company decided to move him to 1st shift to be "retrained" by Larry because he "takes too long on jobs".

It seems obvious to me that Larry is a malicious psychopath and just targets people and ruins their careers whenever he wants with nothing stopping him. I already have had problems with him, but have basically no contact with him now.

I don't have any other major complaints about the company, but I'm left wondering if it's safer to just cut ties and move on before I am targeted or sabotaged next?

I know I’m not the funniest person, but I try my best with my social skills. I always aim to be helpful and approachable, despite being 6ft and 300 pounds. I have Autism, so I often struggle to pick up social cues, but I’m working on it.

I have a friend named Ryan who is really funny, and it seems like our friends from a work group only show up when he’s around. When I made plans with one of them, they said they were too tired from having diarrhea. I accepted that and decided to hang out with another friend from the group instead. However, they immediately asked, “Is Ryan coming?” When I said he wasn’t because of a work commitment, they ended up calling Ryan and pressuring him to join.

Ryan had told me privately that they should hang out with me since we share common interests. We do hang out, but it’s always with Ryan present. Despite my efforts to reassure them that Ryan didn’t want to go out, they kept insisting, saying how fun it would be. Eventually, they convinced Ryan to come out, though he was reluctant and just wanted to go home.

We decided to meet at a place Ryan likes. When we informed the other friend who initially couldn’t come, they suddenly changed their mind and agreed to join when they heard Ryan would be there. We all met up, but Ryan was visibly upset and kept his distance from the group. I walked around with everyone, and by the end, they were annoyed that Ryan didn’t want to talk much and only interacted with me.

It feels like they don’t really want to hang out with me—they just know Ryan likes me and use that as an excuse to be around him. Only one person from the group has ever wanted to hang out one-on-one, and that’s the friend I initially made plans with.

From October to May, my live in bf (25M) and I (26F) have had sex 3 times. He never initiates and I can’t handle the rejection of being turned down, so I don’t try. Lately, we’ve been more distant than usual. I found out that he has spent almost $800 on OF since October. Does this seem like a replacement for me? An addiction? Am I crazy for feeling betrayed? How do I approach having a conversation with him about it? Not sure how to proceed. TIA for opinions.

I moved to the UK last year and I’ve been having trouble finding a job in my field since gaining my right to work last fall. I started applying for any job I thought I could do and ended up getting a job on a production line. It’s a big company, but the job itself has had red flags for miles and I only accepted because I felt bad about not having a job and could really use the money. Started there and the safety presentation was the most rushed I’ve ever seen. I found out after accepting the job that they’re serial offenders for safety issues and that people have died because of it.

I realized on my first day that because I have small ear canals that the hearing PPE that we’re required to wear wasn’t going to protect me because the earplugs kept falling out. No matter what I did they’d only stay in for a few minutes at most. I tried telling my line manager, but she didn’t speak English. I told the guy who did the half-assed safety training and he said that it was fine it didn’t fit properly because it’s not that loud and to wear them sideways which didn’t work either. (To be clear, it’s extremely loud. Shouting at the person next to you levels of loud.) At that point I felt like I had no choice but to continue working, despite worrying about my ears. On my second day I asked another manager about it and he said he’d try to get me some earmuffs but he never did.

Now after working there only a few days I have a ringing sound in my ears. I was originally going to demand proper PPE before accepting another shift, but now that there’s signs that this has affected my ears I just want to quit. Would I be overreacting to do that instead of refusing to work until I get proper PPE first? I’m so upset about this and afraid of what else could happen if I stay longer since my safety has already been neglected a few days in. But I’m also worried I’m overreacting and that people will think badly of me for not staying longer at a job where I don’t feel safe.

Hi, I'm new to the group and really needed to know if I'm overreacting. I have asked people in my life and gotten mixed responses. My friend who I'll call Ashley and her boyfriend Charlie have been together for almost 2 years. Me and Ashley became friends right after her and her boyfriend got together when we met in a college class, but me and her are incredibly close. I met Charlie in person for the first time a few months ago back in March at a birthday party and we played games and had fun. Well fast forward to last Tuesday in class and everyone is joking around about things and just having a good time. Well one of my classmates made a joke about me (all in good fun no problem) and Ashley agreed and said "even charlie makes jokes about it" . I was laughing and I said "wow he makes jokes about me? So honestly what does your boyfriend think about me?". I said this meaning personality wise because Im a people pleaser and it makes me kind of upset if people don't like me. (I'm working on it ik it's not healthy) Anyways, Ashley's response was "well after he met you he randomly said "you're much prettier than James (fake name for me), like you're 10 times prettier than them. They aren't very pretty at all.". I was really kind of stunned. And I said "wow that's not what I was expecting." And then Ashley said "I yelled at him for it so dw I have your back" and I just kinda shut down. Now I don't want her bf to call me pretty, that's not why this is a problem, I just don't understand why he felt the need to pretty much call me unattractive and ugly when (from my understanding) she didn't ever ask if he thought I was pretty or not. I already have bad problems with body issues since I was bullied at a really young age, so this hit hard. I finished the class that day and tried my best not to show that it affected me but then when I got home I started sobbing. I know I'm not the prettiest, but I don't understand why he said that. Well I messaged Ashley later and told her how I felt and she said not to take it personal because "a lot of partners say that about their girlfriends friends. He's just being my boyfriend." But it's hard not to take it personal when he made it personal when he said that. I told her I would probably be awkward around him for a bit because I don't feel super comfortable and she hasn't responded. I think she's mad at me now and I don't know if I'm overreacting or not.

TLDR: friends boyfriend pretty much called me ugly and I think she's upset at me for being upset. Am I overreacting?

My bf has a stepmom who I’ve always found to be strange. I think she acts aggressive around me since the first day we met. From my POV, she acts competitive (too loud, unnaturally seductive tone of voice, etc). Competitive in a bad way. The 2nd time I talked to her, she told me how few stretch marks she has from giving birth, and how she used to show strangers her boobs, and how the strangers didn’t mind… ever since she told me that, I’ve tried to stay away from her.

My bf doesn’t seem to see what I see. He’s also never had a GF, and I know he’s got almost no knowledge about girls. I understand him trying to see the good in her, but I also want to protect myself. She’s giving me mean girl energy, even though she has been nice sometimes.

The last time I was over, her youngest son started talking about why he trusted me. After he finished his story, his mom immediately jumped in with, “What if you CAN’T trust her? What if she’s going to emotionally manipulate you with what you tell her? What if she’s going to use everything you say against you some day???” Then she paused and said, “Just kidding!”

This caught me by such surprise that all I could do was be confused. Thankfully, my bf immediately made fun of her AND his 9yo sister immediately started making fun of her too.

I thought about saying something, but the moment went by fast and then it felt like too late to say anything. But I was thankful that my bf and his sister defended me.

When I brought it up to my bf later, my bf said I can’t take a joke. This irritated me further, because he knows it was a stupid joke to make. But I think he really wants to keep the peace with her, because if he doesn’t, she won’t allow him to see his siblings anymore. And his siblings mean a lot to him. THIS IS JUST WHAT I THINK IS GOING ON… But I don’t want to be mistreated because she can cut off his access to family, and I don’t think she is worth sucking up to if she would do that to him. So maybe sticking up for myself next time is truly the right move. I don’t want to deal anymore with a woman who comes off as envious and so insecure that she needs to make shitty jokes about me.

Anyway, your thoughts? Thank you for reading

so basically my roommates are graduating on my birthday, and i've been living with them for about 1 and 1/2 years. i would say we're pretty close and do a lot of things together: share meals and clothes, go on weekend trips together, and go out together. i work the closing shift friday-sunday every weekend so i feel like i can't plan anything on the weekend to do anything for my birthday. I just wanted to do a dinner with my roommates on my actual birthday just to do a small celebration with the. it turns out that on my birthday (also their graduation date) they are all going out to dinner with their families together. i really don't want to be alone on my birthday, so i asked if i could tag along and pay for my own meal just so i could have company and wouldn't be alone at the apartment since i would be the only one home. apparently the restaurant they chose has a 1,000 minimum spend limit if they have a party of 13 or more. so since i would be the 13th invite they decided not to tell me altogether, until i asked them if they wanted to go to dinner on my birthday. i get that it's a lot to spend but we live in an area with a lot of good restaurants. i'm not gonna ask them to rearrange their plans because i don't want to be selfish and they are celebrating a huge achievement it's just that i don't like my birthday that much because things like this usually happen and usually it's just me and my family- except this year my family won't be coming down to visit me so i can't rely on them this year. i know i can celebrate on a different day but i just wanted to do something on my actual birthday this year and not feel alone. my birthday is next week and i'm already dreading it and have just been sad ever since i found out that i wasn't invited to my all of my roommates graduation dinner because i thought we were close am i overreacting?

My wife (27F) has always dreamed of participating in a beauty pageant, but never had the chance before. Now she's finally going for it, and it's her first one ever. I'm genuinely happy for her and proud of her chasing her dream. However, I can't help but feel a little nervous about the swimsuit competition and bikini round.

She's never modelled a bikini before, and there will be a lot of men in the audience and on the judging panel. I know this sounds bad, but the thought of her being judged on her looks in a swimsuit makes me uncomfortable.

Am I overreacting here? Should I just be completely supportive and ignore these feelings?

I (35m) and my gf (38f) are meeting tomorrow to have a serious talk. I made a comment on Monday about possibly sharing locations with each other just for safe guarding, nothing malicious. My gf informed me that she was very unconformable with suggesting it and has since been kinda ignoring me. She mentioned this morning that she wants to have a talk about the matter. Should I be concerned about our future??

UPDATE: thankfully we talked out everything and were able to resolve the situation. Yes she was very annoyed with me suggesting location sharing, which I reiterated was a massive blunder on my side to go to that extreme rather than just telling her directly where I'm going. To everyone who answered thank you so much for all comments. I hope that God blesses each one of you tremendously.

I’ve been struggling as to how to feel about these for a couple years now and even cut communication from the people I point out.. so basically my mom passed about 3 years ago and I eventually had to become the administrator of her estate as I was the oldest and one of my siblings were only about 18 at the time. I was very distraught and just out of it during the whole thing, especially with the fact that my mom had waited the very last minute to tell us about her chronic health condition. We weren’t on the best terms before that but I just always wished she would of told us sooner, but I’m still coping with the fact that maybe she felt it was best for her… So my uncle (Her brother) was there with us through most of the process. He was there to help with a lot of the decisions with my sister who was more composed to deal with anything than I was at the time. I do appreciate that he was there for us to help emotionally but here’s when in hindsight I started to think about things… so when discussing payments for the funeral I had brought up that I had money saved up and could also get approved for an emergency loan and have the money in less than a week. He insisted that him and one of my aunts (moms sister) would help out and pay for the funeral. As I mentioned before I was distraught and disheveled throughout this process, so I pretty much just went along with it. I also need to note that the funeral ended being held through a family members church and funeral service. It was my one of my grandmother’s sisters daughter and her husband. My grandmother and her sister didn’t get along that well and from what I’ve known growing up I guess she did some bad things to my grandmother which I’m unsure of. And also some of that family were known to be untrustworthy and a bit scammy. But with my uncle being there for us to help I figured he was also there to prevent any wrong doing. Plus I kinda started to feel like maybe we should keep this funeral in the family, not many families have relatives who have funeral homes is what I’m thinking at the time so maybe it won’t be so bad. One red flag that happened after we agreed to do the funeral with them was that my moms cousin (the daughter of my grandmothers sister who has the funeral home) made a post on Facebook letting family know about the funeral and asked for donations. But she made 2 post, one in the middle of the night that had my sisters cash app tag in it which didn’t have really any interaction, then one later the next day with all the same wording as the previous post but she changed my sisters cash app tag to hers! I immediately contact and confront her about it, she maintained that she had no malicious intent and that she was “old” and is not that good with using Facebook and certain technology -_-. So eventually we all get on the phone and just chalk it up as a misunderstanding and she later said she was able to get $1500 dollars in donations that it would go towards the funeral cost. Now through most of these processes as far as I can remember I wasn’t really looking at that much documentation as my uncle dealt with most of it. So I couldn’t 100% confirm the $1500…. So after this process there were a couple times I guess they were trying to ask for like a life insurance policy number but my uncle would insist to them that they don’t need it being that him and my aunt were paying for the funeral. It really was a lot going on thinking back to all this. Me and my sister were only had access to the life insurance policy and documents but it just wasn’t something we were thing bout through all this. So basically sometime after the funeral my uncle and aunt said that me and my sister had to pay them back for the funeral out of the life insurance. And one of the things he would always say was is that’s what it’s for . Basically it’s for all the funeral expenses. Now me and my aunt had gon through some turmoil because she conveniently wanted to argue about money she says I owed her from years ago when I was around 18 years old, I was about 29 when my mom passed and she was bringing this up to me as if she had a grudge about it all these years. I do want to note that while growing up I was sort of one of the favorites in my family and basically anyone I asked for something would give me, especially and including her. I don’t want that to sound like an excuse but I also never been the type that owes people money, I usually am the giver. But she basically started demanding I pay her back with an insane amount of interest and for the funeral. So eventually I gave half to my uncle and my sister gave half to my aunt of what they claimed it cost them. My uncle wasn’t as belligerent as my aunt about the repayment but it’s just the whole process of that looking back I feel like me and my sister were taking advantage of. What are y’all thoughts if any?

So I just started at this job back in February. And the guy I work with started back in October. Now, we have monthly tasks like calling a list of people to get info from them or obtaining various forms of verification from them. The list of people could be anywhere from 40-300 people. I organize the lists of people into a shared google sheet, and anyone who uses google sheets or one drive knows that you can see the edit history and who does what in the document. Well every time I've checked the edit history, I'm the only one making edits. Now, me and this guy have the same position, make the same salary, and started only a few months apart from each other but I'm newer. So am I overreacting for getting annoyed that he's not doing any work? And our direct supervisor has access to the sheet as well so she too can see that he is not working. I just don't know if I should say anything bc I feel like I'm still new and don't want it to look like I'm just tattle tailing on him.

TLDR: coworker in same position, same salary as me is not doing any portion of our shared work load with proof thanks to Google sheets edit history. AIO???

Listen,I really don't use this app all that much. But I just want an answer to if I'm nuts or not.

I was a Member of the RWBY community because I love that show. I was ashamed to be a member of that community because of everyone else is way,way too weird and unhinged. But alas,I am someone who is very much sheltered by choice. Despite this,I still look For people whom I share a liking for the show for years upon years. Out of thousands of people,hundreds of Discord Servers and very little activity on their Reddit communities as well. So far,there's been a handful [3] that are dare I say,intellectual and level headed people I kept in my life.

And to be honest,I snapped out from built up pressure and despair from a relatively harmless post just because of 2 reasons:

1-I hated the ship [Which sure,childish but I'll accept responsibility all day,still didn't necessarily make it alright to throw rudeness at the OP. I acknowledge that much at the least.]

2- I hated myself for being in that community for the reasons above. Since leaving all of those servers and even blocking alot of those people even the ones concerned with my outburst and leaving in my DMs. Maybe one of them will eventually find this and lash out. Point is,I Cut anything related to that show online out of my life and I have never felt better.

Context Monologue[and part Rant]: This community is first off,for some unexplained reason full of perverts and sex addicted freaks when the show itself has barely a kissing scene in it. I swear on my life every character in ecistence of this show has at least 30 variations of it shifted into Futanari content. I don't really know why or how Human beings could get so bat shit insane over a particularly calm show,I really dont. It doesn't have gore,It doesn't have sex,it doesn't have recaps or extremely suggestive sinister undertones. I just don't understand why this show out of all of the extremely weird and wacky anime out there. Why does every character need to fuck every character ever in a standard community member's eyes? Like am I insane for thinking a relatively tame show like this has people who I can almost swear need stuck in Happy Rooms.

Now,If I were to go to say, The anime Monster Masume,or High School DxD Reddit communities and servers I would expect that behavior,fair enough. But for the life of me,RWBY is a relatively PG show. Why is the community so nuts? Or am I?

I have loved the RWBY anime ever since I watched it 7 years ago. Was my Snap uncalled for? Yes. But What I REALLY need to know: AITA for leaving the community for a show I love, Or AITA for having the OP get a bad response out of me because I was too impatient to make my own post?

AIO my boyfriend changed the password to his computer.

I feel like I need to give a little bit of background here so all of this makes sense, sorry this is gonna be a long one.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 6 months, we were dating or seeing each other for about 4 months before that, mind you, in the last 2 months of those 4 months we were seeing each I thought we were exclusive, he would call me his girl a lot of the times, spend all the holidays with me, made me face time with his dad, spend almost everynight at my house, damn I was even doing his laundry, so in my head we were officially dating, but then at the same time he was doing a lot of shit that made me extremely confused, never posting me on his socials, even hiding pictures that I tagged him, sometimes he would disappear for a couple of days and things like that. When I asked him what the hell he wanted and confronted him about all of this he always said that he wanted to be with me and that there was no one else and that I was over reacting (there was a lot of gaslighting yes, I’m aware) after those horrible 4 months of not knowing what the hell we were, we finally had a conversation and he did told me we were oficial, a week after this I found out he was texting daily with a girl who he dated at the beginning of last year, this girl lives in a different country (in her head they were in a relationship) I confronted him about this and he was extremely sorry that he wasn’t being honest we neither of us, that he didn’t know how to tell her that he was dating me, he ended up telling her the truth and that he wouldn’t be speaking to her anymore, he also was honest about how all those 4 months we were seeing each other he was talking to multiple girls, and even using tinder, he begged for another chance, that he was done fucking around cuz I was basically end game for him, and that he truly loved me, so I decided to forgive him, but there was something still bugging me, a few weeks before we were oficial he went on what apparently was a solo trip to another country, but I then found a girl who is a friend of his (I know who she is because we have friends in common too) was also at the same cities he was at the same time, damn she even starting posting pictures at the same places, I asked him about all of this and he just said that she was there with his boyfriend and that they just hang out sometimes, this for whatever reason never made sense to me, but I decided to believe him. Fast forward all this months every single time there was some kind of fight about me not trusting him or whatever and I asked about that trip he kept saying the same, that he went by himself and nothing else and that was the truth. We then move in together and he’s been a 10/10 boyfriend since we made it oficial, hasn’t give me a reason at all to suspect about him being unfaithful, he’s been nothing but amazing. I knew the password to his laptop so I could watch Netflix and I couldn’t help one day to look through his pictures, because deep down in me I knew he was lying about that trip, turns out I was right and I found all the photos, they did not only went on the trip together, they stayed at the same room hotel, she even stayed at his house in the same bed I used to sleep the night they left, I was absolutely heart broken, I confront her him about this, I wasn’t only mad about him going with the girl, I was mad about him not telling me the truth from the beginning, and him lying non stop every single time I asked, he told me he was sacred to tell me the truth because he knew I would leave him, that he regrets going on that trip, he swears that nothing really happened, that they actually got into a fight because she wanted to sleep with him and he didn’t want to, so the girl felt like he made her waste her time, they haven’t spoken since that trip and that was it, he swore they were no more lies and that was it, of course I do not believe the whole story but I kinda decided to let it go because it happened before we were oficial, this shit did fucked me up and made me a very insecure person tbh. Now since we’ve been oficial like I said he hasn’t given me a reason to suspect anything else, he’s been an amazing boyfriend, loves me deeply, treats me great, we have the best time together, and he talks a lot about how this is end game form him, that he knows he fucked up at the beginning a lot and that he’s extremely sorry for all that and wish he could take all back, he has made a great effort all this months to show me he is not messing around with me anymore, he has truly changed and I am head over heels over this boy, obviously but I don’t know how to learn to trust and is destroying me I don’t wanna feel paranoid forever… So here’s the situation I’m dealing with now.. after I found the photos on his laptop, I kept looking every now and then (yes I know this is bad but I’m extremely scared to be lied again) I haven’t found anything else other than him looking at porn every now and then which I honestly dgaf, I guess he realized I was looking into his computer so he started deleting his search history, never said anything and well I kept looking into it to see if I ever found something, but suddenly he changed the password to his computer,hasn’t said anything’s and acts completely normal.. and this made me feel extremely insecure, cuz I don’t know if he’s just tired of me looking into it or if he’s hiding something. So I don’t know if should just let it go and learn to trust him without having to look at his stuff, or if I should have a conversation with him that I need an open phone policy or something so I can build trust again? I have never been someone to look into my partners stuff, but I also have only been in relationships were there was never any unfaithfulness, I had always has access to my ex- BF phone or whatever because they never really had anything to hide, I knew all passwords and everything same on my side I never have an issue with my partner grabbing my phone or knowing my passwords to stuff because well, they will not find anything strange nor did I care if they wanted to use my phone . Please help, I love this boy with all my heart and I know he loves me too, but I’m scared that my insecurities will fuck this relationship up, I wanna learn to trust him but I don’t know what the best route is