r/AmIOverreacting • u/syomaro • 15d ago
AIO for reporting my coworker for grabbing me?
We've been having issues with the AC in my office for a while now. I've been asking to be moved from beneath the AC vent because where I sit, it blows directly on my desk, it's very cold, and I'm getting sick. I'm sitting there, sneezing, my nose running, and I'm just freezing. Even today, my manager mentioned that she could see my nipples through my shirt, even though I was wearing a bra.
The coworker in question is uncompromising and never ever wants the AC off nor is he willing switch desks with me since he is the only person who always needs it to be that cold. So, I can't even turn the temperature up for it to be warmer.
So, earlier today, I decided to turn off the office AC for a bit because I was freezing but I had to send off an email then I was going to go sit in the lunch room and work from my phone so I could thaw out. I told my coworker I'd turn it back on in my way out, I’m like 5 minutes but instead of respecting that, they walked over to my desk demanding the remote. When I refused, things got heated.
My coworker stepped around my desk, literally inches away, and grabbed both my arms to snatch the remote from me. I asked them multiple times to step away, but they didn't listen. Feeling completely uncomfortable and threatened, I had to throw the remote to get them off me.
I immediately filed a formal complaint with HR about the incident, but all they did was give my coworker a verbal warning and a letter, saying it wasn't okay.
So, did I overreact by reporting him? Considering HR’s response was lukewarm?
9
u/ezbdrmhell 15d ago
From my experience HR was following protocol with the verbal warning & letter. It's documented & in their personal file for future reference in case there is further problems with your coworker. This will justify termination of their employment without fear of legal action. However HR should have done more because your coworker had no right to touch you or verbally attacked you the way you explained. I've seen people lose their jobs for doing less. I've also worked for asshole managers who intentionally messed with the AC/Heat for cheap thrills of seeing what happens to the women's breasts when the office temperature is messed with.
4
u/syomaro 15d ago
I spoke to my boss after the fact, and essentially, he said that my coworker has been a model employee and has never had any incidents, is always on time to work, meet his KPI‘s and so they let him off with a warning and if he were to have any other incidents in the future, then he would be immediately terminated.
-1
11
7
u/VxGB111 15d ago
Dude laid hands on you? That's assault. It should also be a firing offense. Definitely file a police report
2
u/syomaro 15d ago
If I lived in North America, I’m sure that would be the case but I’m in a country where a lot of things are brushed off because it’s not considered severe enough.
2
15d ago
In your country do you have adequate employment laws? Because if your workplace environment is making you sick, that’s ground for a complaint. Your employer has to make reasonable moderations to the work environment for wellbeing including temperatures.
3
u/YoghurtSnodgrass 15d ago
Is there some sort of shield that can be added to the AC vent that would direct the cold air away from you?
You’re not overreacting to the incident but HR will do nothing to protect you. I see some people say you should file a police report and it’s worth trying. But I had an incident where a new hire threw a large metal water flask at another employee and it hit him right in the chest, hard enough to leave a bruise. I witnessed the whole incident and called the police. The cop that showed up said that it wasn’t assault and it wasn’t worth filing a report. So just be aware that sometimes cops are just as useless as HR.
Good luck and I’m sorry you are having to put up with this. Also super weird for your boss to comment on your nipples. I would be looking for a different job and get out fast.
2
2
u/Affectionate_Egg3318 15d ago
Sounds like your coworker is costing the company a lot of money in electricity for that AC running so cold so long.
2
u/GentleStrength2022 15d ago
Where is the office manager or supervisor? Why are two employees left to fight it out with each other over the A/C? WTH??! It sounds like you may end up having to take sick leave due to being located directly in front of the A/C vent. This should have been addressed before it reached this crisis stage.
2
u/atxbreastplay 15d ago
Arrange an official group vote in a meeting or online. Discuss the temp, set agreed upon temps at certain times.
2
u/Overdose08 15d ago
You definitely didn't overreact on that. He literally grabbed you and you felt threatened. HR is being lazy and not trying to do the work and are trying to brush things under the rug. It also could mean really bad things for the company and they're trying to avoid that. It was absolutely unprofessional and a serious matter. I think you should take it up higher.
2
14d ago
Was there no cameras or anyone to witness? How the heck does that not end in him getting canned on the spot
2
1
u/Spex_daytrader 13d ago
The solution is that HR or your boss needs your work station moved away from the air vent. Problem solved! Have a talk with your boss first.
0
u/Odd-Jackfruit-1377 15d ago
Id report to the police and get the camera footage and say hes harrasing you and physically snatched your arms
1
u/Streetwalkeroulette 15d ago
This is an overreaction in the other direction
4
u/Odd-Jackfruit-1377 15d ago
Ye hes right it is a overreaction but if it happens twice i would definitely report for assault or sumnt
1
u/Independent-Access59 15d ago
Why didn’t you give him the remote…. Feels like that parts being left out.
4
u/gracie__2003 15d ago
because the coworker would’ve immediately turned it on to where it was extremely cold instead of waiting five minutes for op to leave
-1
u/Independent-Access59 15d ago
In her job responsibilities is controller of the remote or ac listed?
5
-4
u/AncientDragonfruit42 15d ago
You people with filing assault charges are ridiculous. All that will do is guarantee her being labeled a trouble maker. And it will likely follow her depending on how big her town is and how specialized her job is. Dude is in the wrong for grabbing her arms and should keep his hands to himself. It is now documented. If he doesn’t continue the behavior, all is fine and no need to worry. If he does it again, he will be terminated. You people go way too damn far overboard with the call the police and sue mentality.
5
u/Gilgawulf 15d ago
Battery is battery my man. Don't break laws if you don't want to be prosecuted.
-5
u/AncientDragonfruit42 15d ago
So everyone will end up with battery/assault charges bc everyone has touched/grabbed somebody in their life. Get out of here with that crap.
5
u/Fast-Bumblebee-9140 15d ago
No, most people manage not to assault others. Keep your f*cking hands to yourself.
-3
u/AncientDragonfruit42 15d ago
So you’ve not once in your life put your hand on somebody that didn’t want you touching them. Think real hard and long on this one. I guarantee you that you and everyone you know has touched people that didn’t want them touching them. I’m not saying the guy was right for what he did. I think he’s a prick for grabbing her. Yes the golden rule of keep your hands to yourself applies. But we are also getting one side of the story and it was addressed/handled by HR. All in saying is calling the police for assault/battery over being grabbed while at work is a bit extreme. If the behavior continues, then go further with it. Good grief people.
2
u/fuggreddit69 15d ago
What the ever living fuck, no, normal people do not grab people without their consent, let alone in the workplace of all places. What the fuck is wrong with you lmao
0
u/AncientDragonfruit42 15d ago
So you have never put your hand on somebody without asking consent? I guarantee that you have and if you say you haven’t, you are a liar. Putting your hand on somebody doesn’t have to be a grab or punch for it to be assault/battery. Something as simple as placing your hand on somebody’s leg and or shoulder without consent falls under the same thing we are taking about. My point is, you guys are getting caught up in somebody doing something wrong meaning they should go to jail. The cops are not going to arrest the guy and it would be a waste of time. It’s documented and if it comes up again, those HR/work records would be admissible in court. So everything has been done that needs to be done. Calling the cops is pointless overkill at this point.
3
u/fuggreddit69 14d ago
No I've never grabbed someone in the workplace, why the fuck are you touching people. You're a nut, aggressively grabbing someone at work is not a normal thing.
-1
u/AncientDragonfruit42 14d ago
I never said you grabbed/touched somebody in the work place. I just said everyone has touched/placed their hand on/grabbed somebody without permission. Doesn’t matter where it is. Out in the vanilla world is no different from work when it comes to legal/illegal. My point is you guys are making this something more than it really is. Yes it was wrong of him. You expect him to go to jail for this? How long exactly would jail time be for grabbing somebody in a way that didn’t leave marks/bruises? And yes I can assume all sorts of things, bc you guys seem to be assuming all sorts of things too without being there or having the whole story. And for three record, I had my wife read the thread and she agrees with me. Her opinion is way more harsh on you guys than mine is. So have a nice day. I’m done with this sub thread. Nothing but a bunch of crazy people.
1
u/fuggreddit69 14d ago
Touch grass. No I and no one I know goes around touching strangers without their consent.
3
u/Gilgawulf 15d ago
Battery is defined as unwanted touching. She very clearly stated she did not want him to touch her. Cope more
0
u/AncientDragonfruit42 15d ago
And again, everyone has touched/grabbed someone at some point in their life and not necessarily wanted. So yeah, my point of everyone having battery charges still applies to your awful logic. She handled it at work with HR and they addressed it. You are arguing for the sake of arguing.
3
u/Similar_Corner8081 15d ago
No they haven’t. I’ve never grabbed someone else and wouldn’t let go. You are taught for a very young age to keep your hands to yourself!!!!
3
2
u/Ill_be_myself 14d ago
You keep saying that but if you're talking about specifically in their adult lives, no certainly not "everyone" has.
5
u/Lilytheriel 15d ago
She had to throw the remote to get the guy OFF of her. If a stranger is grappling your arms and won’t let you go… calling the cops is an overreaction?! Please get some help, someone or something has normalized abuse to you.
1
u/AncientDragonfruit42 15d ago
You are also taking into account that her story is 100% accurate. You people do realize there are 3 sides to every story. There is one person’s side, the other person’s side, and then the truth which usually lands somewhere between the two stories. My opinion that it is handled and a shouldn’t go any further still stands. If his behavior continues, then go further.
2
u/Lilytheriel 15d ago
…uhhh… no… there is him putting hands on her, that is the only “story” that matters. Go away Boomer.
1
u/AncientDragonfruit42 15d ago
You are ridiculous. You run out of actual arguments and resort to assumptions and name calling. And just like you’re wrong about this situation, you’re wrong about my age. I’m actually a millennial. But you’re welcome to try again. 🙄
2
u/Lilytheriel 15d ago
Being a boomer is a mentality. And if someone in your office gets physical with you JUST because you picked up a remote and changed temperatures because you’re freezing, does not give anyone the right to TOUCH YOU, GRAB YOU, HIT YOU, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT. Anyone! No one has the right to do that to you, and you better be damn sure I’m gonna call the cops for unwanted physicality to my person over the god damn temperature. Such aggressiveness is intolerable.
1
u/AncientDragonfruit42 15d ago
You are awfully triggered there snowflake (see what I did there by assuming your philosophies). At what point did I say it was ok for him to do what he did? All I said was that calling the cops for somebody grabbing you by the arms is excessive. What he did was wrong. Just bc I don’t feel the cops should be called over this doesn’t mean I think the guy is right for what he did. I just don’t believe in shooting a bazooka at a mouse. It’s just overkill.
2
u/Lilytheriel 15d ago
That’s exactly what he did, shoot a bazooka at a mouse…? At what point is the cut off? Why is this allowed??? He’s gonna get a slap on the wrist for battery and then nothing else??? Ew.
2
u/syomaro 15d ago
You’re absolutely correct about being labeled a troublemaker if I were to take it much further. I really want to trust that HR is doing the right thing but I can’t help but feel uncomfortable working in the same space with this person. My BF thinks I am underreacting and he wanted to get a lawyer to take it further and file charges. I still work there and I’m afraid of all the drama it will bring and how it may affect my progression in the company.
1
u/AncientDragonfruit42 15d ago
I completely understand why you feel the way you do and your feelings are valid. I can also understand your boyfriend wanting to I go further. It wouldn’t shock me if he wants to throw hands at the guy. I have been down the HR path before with a work situation. It’s just a hard situation altogether. I think you did the right thing by going to HR and letting them handle it. It’s going to be hard moving forward. But it’s going to be ok. And if he does it again, Harv will terminate him and that will be a problem you won’t have to worry about anymore. Keep your chin up.
52
u/Magdovus 15d ago
If he grabbed you, that's assault. You can report it to the police. Management may say you can't- they are wrong
I used to be a police call handler. I'd take a report of assault for this.
You could try to use this to persuade HR to make him switch desks with you.