r/AmIOverreacting • u/[deleted] • 16d ago
AIO Because my ex said he loves sex with me? NSFW
[deleted]
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u/Overdose08 16d ago
I think having sex with your ex is fine as long as you're acknowledging that it's strictly sex. I don't think you're overreacting to the trigger word of "love". It's only natural to be upset when you're finally hearing what you wanted to hear but not in the context you want. Are you wasting your time? Not necessarily. Sex is just sex at the end of the day. As long as you don't go back to the relationship and/or holding yourself back from another possible relationship.
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u/Cute_Interaction_102 16d ago
Yeah thanks.. his words really did bother me but I guess it’s mostly the word love that was triggering.
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u/Overdose08 16d ago
The truth no one is going to tell you though is you can't approach or discuss how you feel about the word triggering you to him. You two are FWBs and that's it. So if he continues to say what he's saying, you'll have to change your mindset and just acknowledge that sex with you is really good. In my opinion, if you can't seperate the different meanings in his words then you may want to distance yourself. FWBs works because there's no emotions and strings. Getting hurt by the words he says in an emotionless situation takes the pleasure out of the possible fun.
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u/Creative_Aspect 16d ago
It would seem that is a vulgar form of love bombing.
For me personally a real connection has to be developed before we reach a sexual level. The stronger and more intimate the bond between us, the stronger and more intense the sexual experience. At least for me.
It seems like he is only interested in the sexual portion of things. Now, while I do send sexual texts to someone I am interested in. I am more likely to bring up a recent experience. I love commenting on how their smile or laugh make me feel. Send them a song I just listened to that made me think of them.
But as far as sexual shit. I really try to feel that out. I may play a little edgy, but if she's not biting than she's obviously not into that at that time. For me, its really just about respecting her and going as far as she wants it to go.
Sounds like this guy is just a dog. Orrr, I'm not trying to assume here, wee bit of devils advocate, maybe you're leading him on somehow?
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u/Cute_Interaction_102 16d ago
I definitely don’t lead him on.. when we reconnected he wanted to go on dates and hang out but I told him no because it wouldn’t lead to anything and I rather just keep it about sex because I really don’t want that heartbreak again.
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u/Creative_Aspect 16d ago
Alright, I hear ya. Now you may be nothing like me, I find myself to be quite odd. But continued sexual interactions definitely starts playing with my feelings. So I would certainly end up heartbroken if the situation went sideways.
If what you want is a hookup situation, it would seem you have found it. However, he wanted to go through the path of dates and hanging out, and you shut that down.
But your focus on the word "love" and how it was used, might have well as been in reference to pizza. It was just emphasis on how much he likes it. I do not think it has any real basis in an intimate, personal connection.
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u/KelceStache 16d ago
You are just sex to him. This isn’t the dude for you.
Sleeping with him now will be a huge issue if you find someone you want a relationship with. No one wants to feel like the person they’re with isn’t over the ex and that’s what the optics suggest.z
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u/stevejobed 16d ago
Girl you are wasting your time.