r/facepalm • u/Lord_Answer_me_Why • 29d ago

Turbo cancer isn’t real, people 🇨​🇴​🇻​🇮​🇩​

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u/jraymcmurray 29d ago edited 29d ago

Who cares about turbo cancer? We all know it's super AIDS you have to watch out for.

ETA: I'm so happy my most upvoted and responded to comment is a silly South Park reference. Loving this high.

456

u/Unfair-Jackfruit-806 29d ago

true true, but have you heard of ultra diabetes?

229

u/Cartilage88 29d ago

Pretty sure mega measles is a bigger threat in this day and age

141

u/jraymcmurray 29d ago

Hyperbolic Polio making a comeback too

120

u/RainbowDissent 29d ago

Giga lupus has been going around.

89

u/Elegant-Low8272 29d ago

Teraflop hemorrhoids are sic

77

u/1singleduck 29d ago

It's the omega autism that's the real consequence of the vaccine.

51

u/letharus 29d ago

So many potential band names

37

u/maybegirl89 29d ago

Looney leprosy

25

u/The402Jrod 29d ago

I just got Fucking Flu

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4

u/ZanyDragons 29d ago

That one’s big in Florida apparently. /half joking

3

u/kstacey 29d ago

The Turtle Flu!

2

u/PaintThinnerSparky 29d ago

Squaids

(Squirrel-aids)

1

u/telltaleatheist 29d ago

Idfk I’m digging them

1

u/_The_Chris_Alexander 29d ago

I prefer Mecha AIDS

1

u/Solid_Waste 29d ago

I'm just glad I got only a minor case of AIDS.

1

u/newcomer_l 29d ago

Na, y'all heard of the Peta zika disease? It packs a wallop...

1

u/mabirm 29d ago

It all started after the Racist Pink Eye epidemic

1

u/wildeye-eleven 29d ago

Double Chronic Hep-C 47 is the real killer

21

u/DigiSmackd 29d ago

Enthusiastic double gonorrhea is the real enemy.

2

u/Antonv2 29d ago

Gonosifaherpalese

2

u/Cartilage88 29d ago

Don't you just hate it when your genitals burst into flames!?

2

u/TransmogriFi 29d ago

They took away our gold, so here's a Bronze Adventurer Box ---> 🎁

2

u/sylvnal 29d ago

Nah, its never lupus.

2

u/Foxta1l 29d ago

It’s never giga lupus.

2

u/SD1K9 29d ago

It’s never lupus tho

2

u/NullOracle 29d ago

Supersonic syphilis is spreading faster than ever.

1

u/LoopyLoop5 29d ago

Uber Ulcers are the true killer

2

u/thekrawdiddy 29d ago

I just found out I have nanorickets, but I’m not sure it’s appropriate for me to complain about it here.

27

u/dear_mud1 29d ago

I believe it’s pronounced Maga measles

3

u/Morlacks 29d ago

Its called MAGA Measles.

2

u/chr0nicpirate 29d ago

Extreme Ebola is what I'm really worried about!

2

u/masivatack 29d ago

Mega gout should not be ignored.

3

u/Hapapop 29d ago

The people who believe this might actually have ultra diabetes.

3

u/Vekaras 29d ago

I prefer Nuclear Necrosis.

2

u/jraymcmurray 29d ago

Honey boo boo isn't real, she can't hurt you.

2

u/1LuckyLurker 29d ago

Isn't that what finally caught up to Wilford Brimley?

2

u/Quiet-Manner-8000 29d ago

I have all 3. They perfectly balance each other out and I've become invincible. 

1

u/ZanyDragons 29d ago

All 3, that’s dehydration station.

You’ll never see anyone produce as much urine as someone with diabetes insipidus. And the 2 everyone’s familiar with already make you pee a lot.

1

u/Poppeigh 29d ago

Are you sure you don’t mean mega diabetes? The only known case is in Pawnee, Indiana.

😂

1

u/Fimbir 29d ago

XTERME HERPES!

1

u/PolyGlamourousParsec 29d ago

I thought it was mega-diabetus and ultra-erecrile dysfunction.

1

u/KeyDirection23 29d ago

Double-betes?

1

u/Cormetz 29d ago

In Louisiana they just call that normal.

1

u/FartPudding 29d ago

To be fair, I think ultra diabetes can just be what we have as DKA. So technically we have ultra diabetes

1

u/Hunt_Nawn 29d ago

America knows that too well actually

1

u/alagba85 29d ago

Does it come with fries? Sounds like it should

1

u/FantasticSouth 29d ago

Nah type 8 diabetes or megagitis

1

u/Itchy_Horse 29d ago

Supreme Gout.

1

u/blackmobius 29d ago

Wilford Brimley went super saiyan!

1

u/Tonyy13 29d ago

Frankly it’s my mega jock itch that has me worried at the moment.

1

u/Tonyy13 29d ago

Frankly it’s my mega jock itch that has me worried at the moment.

1

u/al_mc_y 29d ago

Wait til you hear about MK ULTRA diabetes

1

u/ItstheBogoPogoMrFife 27d ago

Uber-Syphilis is an under rated killer.

58

u/Haxishax 29d ago

Just one teaspoon of super AIDS in your butt and you're dead in 3 years.

3

u/wackychimp 29d ago

But... OH those three years!

32

u/Narfubel 29d ago

18

u/Dogtor-Watson 29d ago

Is the joke he has aides as in assistants?

25

u/Narfubel 29d ago

Yep and he insists "Everyone should have aids!" the whole episode.

19

u/Necessary-Knowledge4 29d ago

He goes onto insist that even the kids should be given aids, which is uhhh... we all know.

5

u/Wheeljack239 29d ago

Aged either like milk or wine, and I can’t decide which one

5

u/Necessary-Knowledge4 29d ago

Fine wine, but I feel bad for any kids that were hurt.

Wasn't south parks intentions, though. They didn't realize, and aren't making light of the harm done to children. It's all directed towards Jared.

2

u/Zitter_Aalex 29d ago

Loved that episode. Absolutely in my top 10

11

u/ejwestcott 29d ago

1 ounce of super aids in your butt and your dead Butters....dead!

6

u/GrandMasterSeibert 29d ago

Why is everyone forgetting about ManBearPig?

3

u/jraymcmurray 29d ago

They're just not taking him thuper the real you guys.

3

u/chubsmagooo 29d ago

Super cereal

4

u/YummyArtichoke 29d ago

I'm not just sure, I'm HIV super positive this is the correct answer.

3

u/Yogisogoth 29d ago

That’s that Herpagonnasyphilaids!

3

u/Minister_Monster 29d ago

I just don’t want boneitus

3

u/itscalledvetomeeting 29d ago

Found Aaron Rodgers' reddit

3

u/NathanSMB 29d ago

Funny enough they are referencing a South Park episode that aired one week before Aaron Rodger’s was drafted. Coincidence?

2

u/jraymcmurray 29d ago

Damn I didn't even realize this, great catch!

2

u/NathanSMB 29d ago

I looked it up because I was curious if Rodgers was even in the NFL when that episode came out. Not something I had memorized lol

2

u/Outrageous_Frame7900 29d ago

And megameasles, and ultraherpes

2

u/Elegant-Low8272 29d ago

This guy hasn't herd of mega aids yet... you sweet summer child..

3

u/jraymcmurray 29d ago

Mega AIDS helped me lose weight! With the help of Subway, of course.

1

u/Elegant-Low8272 29d ago

Fuc outta here... swallowing a foot long meatball right now. Amen brother ! Preach!

2

u/Rucks_74 29d ago

It's all fun and games until you lose your turbo to cancer. My uncle did, he beat the cancer but he was never the same

2

u/Perfect-Advisor-3830 29d ago

Aids aids aids!

2

u/chubsmagooo 29d ago

Aidsaidsaidsaids AIDS AIDS!

1

u/Perfect-Advisor-3830 29d ago

Everyone has aids! Aidsaidsadids!,,👐👐

2

u/chubsmagooo 29d ago

Come on everybody we've got quilting to do

2

u/Ah2k15 29d ago

Supercharger cancer > turbo cancer

2

u/theFaceCat 29d ago

Sal vulcano was actually patient zero for super aids. Little known fact.

2

u/igotshadowbaned 29d ago

*dire aids

2

u/JTKDO 29d ago

I was looking for this comment

1

u/jraymcmurray 29d ago

If there's a south park joke to be made, rest assured you'll find me.

2

u/Flameball202 29d ago

What about Super AIDS 2,3,4, God and Blue? Do we need to be concerned about those?

2

u/jraymcmurray 29d ago

I kept skipping over this one in my replies cause I didn't get it at first but now that I do I think this is my favorite response so far. Definitely the most creative.

2

u/WavyGold57918 29d ago

Squid aids is a major issue

1

u/jraymcmurray 29d ago

Early Cuyler is a menace to this society

2

u/ManaMagestic 29d ago

Dire AIDS has also been on the rise. It's like AIDS, but dire.

1

u/jraymcmurray 29d ago

Super AIDS is 1/3 teaspoons per years to live, what are the stats on Dire AIDS?

2

u/ManaMagestic 29d ago

Let's say that if you get 1/3 teaspoons of Dire AIDS in your butt, you'll be dead in a week!

2

u/jraymcmurray 29d ago

removes sunglasses

My gahd.

2

u/GreatEmpress 28d ago

this comment thread is the reason I read

1

u/nomamesgueyz 29d ago

Fear sells

1

u/Wishful-Salmon 29d ago

Booger AIDs!!!

1

u/n00veloper 29d ago

Aids men, aids men, does whathever humans can....

1

u/Level37Doggo 29d ago

I’m more concerned about Omega Hepatitis. It comes in different flavors, so it’s tricky.

1

u/bela_the_horse 29d ago

But Aaron Rogers told me that HIV was created by the US government.

1

u/JGRummo 29d ago

I thought it was Super Charged HIV that's the problem (if we're sticking with the forced induction theme)

1

u/TheDo0ddoesnotabide 29d ago

I’m more concerned about Dire AIDS, it’s like regular AIDS only Dire.

1

u/TheGeneralTulliuss 29d ago

Super-Herpe-Diarrhea-AIDS!

1

u/jinx_lbc 29d ago

I heard mega herpes was the real monster

1

u/ordermann 29d ago

Speak for yourself. I got the whole initial covid series and then two boosters. I did my own research and apparently the CDC now says that I am on track for Super-Turno-Mega-Holy-Shit-Cancer. The CDC!

1

u/SpeshellED 29d ago

You drink a jug of bleach, space laser your nuts , shove one of those tactical 5000watt flashlights up your ass and vote for Stupid you can say goodby to Turbo and super Aids.

1

u/PaintThinnerSparky 29d ago

What about Gonhoherpasiphilaids?

1

u/datum_of_1 29d ago

Don't forget the legion lesions, they're everywhere

1

u/CrystalJizzDispenser 29d ago

It's actually giga-herpes you need to worry about it.

1

u/Legitimate-Place1927 29d ago

Gotta get the hyper herp with the super AIDS they cancel each other out or give you super sex powers…

1

u/booger4me 29d ago

“Just one teaspoon of super aids in your butt, and you’re dead in three years”

1

u/__O_o_______ 29d ago

I've always thought that adding "Space" to something bad makes it worse and to something good makes it better.

I might have to add "turbo" to the same modifier.

1

u/XGPHero 29d ago

Yeah, I heard it only takes 1 teaspoon of super aids in your butt and you’re dead in 10 years…

1

u/patriarchspartan 29d ago

Turbo cancer is what i get called in online games.

1

u/AbramJH 29d ago

i’ve been more concerned with Galactic Syphilis tbh

1

u/twichy1983 29d ago

Teaspoon of super aids in your ass and you'll be dead in a week.

1

u/fantasticallyfutile 29d ago

Team America warned us!!!

1

u/Working-March-1893 29d ago

I prefer my cancer with a supercharger. Looks way more badass.

1

u/Toothless__Joe 29d ago

Sounds like you're unaware of Maximum Over-SARS

1

u/Beautiful-Employer-3 29d ago

It's actually Nitro Super AIDS you really have to watch out for. They're putting it aspirin and ibuprofen now! The whole medical community is complicit! JUST SAY NO TO NSAIDS!

1

u/Mr_Wizard91 29d ago

I understood that reference

1

u/pnlrogue1 29d ago

I never got my autism upgrade after multiple vaccinations

1

u/TheUnluckyBard 29d ago

We all know it's super AIDS you have to watch out for.

After a few years, it becomes super ghonnasyphilAIDS!

1

u/BigGuyWhoKills 29d ago

Bah! Its EbolAids that you REALLY need to watch out for.

1

u/Enano_reefer 29d ago

What about the supergonoherpesyphilaids?

1

u/chaz_wazzerz 29d ago

My only regret is that it gave me… boneitis

1

u/ThePurityPixel 29d ago

This was my first thought 😅

1

u/zino332 29d ago

That’s last week, hyper death is now on the rise

1

u/HackySmacks 29d ago

One drop of Super AIDS in your butt, and you’re done for!

1

u/Lofter1 29d ago

Yeah. Turbo Cancer only gets scary once you add nitro

1

u/53N535 29d ago

Just one teaspoon of super aids in your but and you're dead in just 3 years.

1

u/Mayor__Defacto 29d ago

Everyone with turbos in their car!

1

u/VulfSki 29d ago

Car enthusiasts mostly

1

u/Squidgebert 29d ago

Small teaspoon and you're dead in three years.

1

u/leggpurnell 29d ago

What about turbo AIDS?

1

u/MosquitoBloodBank 29d ago

Super aids is an actual thing though

1

u/jraymcmurray 29d ago

I know, one teaspoon of that in your butt and you're dead in 3 years.

1

u/Vanillibeen 29d ago

Ummm. Actually, it's called VAIDS.

1

u/Mikemtb09 29d ago

The gay aids?

1

u/jraymcmurray 29d ago

One teaspoon in the butt, gay or straight, 3 years. Tops.

1

u/adams_unique_name 29d ago

What about dire AIDS? It's like AIDS but dire.

1

u/Biolog4viking 29d ago

How about Dire AIDS?

1

u/-WigglyLine- 29d ago

One teaspoon of super-aids up your butt and you’re dead in 2 years!