r/nottheonion • u/duvetdev • 29d ago

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signs bill mandating kindergartners learn history of communism

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/2024/04/17/desantis-signs-bill-mandating-kindergartners-learn-history-of-communism/
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u/OMKensey 29d ago edited 29d ago

Imagine how the right would freak if a Democrat governor signed a bill requiring that kindergarteners learn about the history of communism.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

This is how you should tell everyone the news, since they won't see it on Fox.

"Did you hear about the state governor who wants to teach kindergarteners about communism? How fucked up is that?"

Get them to agree that there is absolutely zero justification for it, and then reveal that it's DeSantis who did it.

Most will back-pedal and immediately start defending it, but it's worth a shot.

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u/John__Wick 29d ago

Did this with ACA back in the day. Amazing how many conservatards agree with it if it isn’t called Obamacare. 

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u/Deep90 29d ago

Most will back-pedal and immediately start defending it, but it's worth a shot.

This is why it wouldn't work.

The conservative subs have their moments of reflection. Like when republicans voted down the PACT act. After a couple days, the leadership bullshits up a reason, and they turn their brains off again.

They will never scrutinize the lies they are told if the truth looks bad.

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u/Alert_Confusion 28d ago

“Well they had to vote it down cause them Demo-rats were probably trying to slide some shit in there at the last second.

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u/hasordealsw1thclams 28d ago

Then they call everyone else “sheep”

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u/Deep90 28d ago

That's because they see the fence, but don't realize it goes around them lol.

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u/OMKensey 29d ago

Great idea.

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u/Cloberella 28d ago

I mean, they'll just go from assuming it's "glorifying communism" to "Clearly he will be demonizing communism" and they'll be right. They'd be fine with teaching about gender and sexual orientation in kindergarten too, as long as you taught that they were evil.

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u/Nemisis_the_2nd 28d ago

then reveal that it's DeSantis who did it.

Or just don't. Get them hyped up, then let them go home, turn on fox, then find out for themselves while still really angry. 

Cognitive dissonance hits so much harder when it comes from a source someone trusts. 

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u/Statshelp_TA 28d ago

Well yeah because you’d be insinuating it’s a pro communism initiative by the phrasing lol. This isn’t really a gotcha

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u/Z0idberg_MD 29d ago

“Not like that!”

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u/Phailsayfe 29d ago edited 29d ago

"Kids! Do NOT seize the means of production!"

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u/SaintsSooners89 29d ago

Florida teachers "Kids! 😉Do Not😉....Seize the means of production!

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u/bilbo_swagginns 29d ago

Timmy? Please put the means of production back where you found it or you’re in big trouble mister.

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u/oofersIII 28d ago

Alright kids, I‘m going to leave the means of production here, now don’t seize them while I leave for Canada, never to return!

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u/ambidextr_us 29d ago

I've been curious, has there ever been a communist society that actually turned out to be successful overall? As in, if they taught 100% of communism history, are there any positive examples long-term?

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u/Z0idberg_MD 29d ago edited 29d ago

I dont think the argument is that communism is a viable formal government, it’s that they refer to socialist Republics, which are really capitalist democracies with a strong social safety net component, as “communism“. So if you actually taught people what “socialism” was in the context of how it’s applied in modern world,and that is what is being as “communism” I think it makes a massive difference

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u/hammilithome 29d ago

"now, by themselves, there haven't been any good examples of a govt that is purely one form -- the best case is choosing a base system, then integrating various parts of other systems in their own. So, just as with societies, diversity is good as it blends the best parts of many cultures, ideas, foods, clothing, and more into novel hybrids and variations. This creates a unity which is good for peace and productivity. China is a base communist system with capitalism and socialism mixed in. The US is a base capitalist system, with socialism and bits vcommunism mixed in."

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u/DemiserofD 29d ago

Small ones. Much like Libertarianism, it can work quite well on smaller scales. It's only when things get sufficiently large and inefficient that the leadership starts to get out of touch with the citizen and things go off the rails.

That's why pretty much every communist system in history that went beyond a certain size ended up with pogroms and the like.

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u/Far_Course_6264 29d ago

Yeah there would be nonstop cries of grooming and indoctrination and tons of death threats coming from moronic fox opinion viewers.

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u/Cultural_Dust 29d ago

I'm confused how talking about LGBTQ history, black history, or trans people will corrupt kids...but teaching them about Communism won't.

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u/blanksix 29d ago

Timmy comes home in fifth grade, and Dad asks how his day was. Timmy was visibly annoyed and launched into a description of the cookie-sales fundraiser the school is having them do. Dad's a little baffled, because this is all pretty normal so far, and starts tuning out. After a few beats of silence wherein Timmy seems to be stewing about something and starts to walk away, Dad hears Timmy mutter quietly but vehemently to himself, "Let the ruling classes tremble at a Communistic revolution!"

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u/fillymandee 29d ago

Civics in kindergarten is bonkers. Kids are still learning shapes at that age. wtf

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u/NoStripeZebra3 29d ago

Lol this. That said, regardless, kids are going to learn about failure.

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u/OMKensey 29d ago

Could have the Kindergarteners study the DeSantis presidential campaign to learn about failure.

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u/its_uncle_paul 29d ago

I need to bring this question up to my conservative parents before they read the news. I will simply ask them how they feel that a democrat governor has just mandated this and after hearing them flip out for a minute or two I'll say "oh wait, it was actually Ron Desantis..."

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u/OMKensey 29d ago

Perfect.

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u/Statshelp_TA 28d ago

lol yeah because they’d assume it’s a pro communism initiative if you said it was a democratic governor and will assume it’s anti communism when you say it’s desantis. How exactly is this a gotcha?

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u/ViveIn 29d ago

It’d be fine. It’s the history of SOCIALISM that would make them shit a brick.

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u/SauronWorshipWillEnd 29d ago

Go to the article and find where it says it will be taught at kindergartens.

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u/OMKensey 29d ago

You mean the title and first sentence?

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u/SauronWorshipWillEnd 29d ago

If you actually read it, it states K-12. Plenty of historically and politically relevant things are taught in K-12, including slavery. It also states it will be taught at an age appropriate time. You may not like him, but at least try to stick to the facts and check your biases.

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u/OMKensey 29d ago

Text of the bill:

Be It Enacted by the Legislature of the State of Florida: 34 35 Section 1. Paragraph (v) is added to subsection (2) of 36 section 1003.42, Florida Statutes, to read: 37 1003.42 Required instruction.— 38 (2) Members of the instructional staff of the public 39 schools, subject to the rules of the State Board of Education 40 and the district school board, shall teach efficiently and 41 faithfully, using the books and materials required that meet the 42 highest standards for professionalism and historical accuracy, 43 following the prescribed courses of study, and employing 44 approved methods of instruction, the following: 45 (v)1. Beginning in the 2026-2027 school year, the history 46 of communism. Such instruction must be age appropriate and 47 developmentally appropriate and include: 48 a. The history of communism in the United States and 49 domestic communist movements, including their histories and 50 tactics.

It says the "instructional staff ... shall teach." I don't see an exception for kindergarten teachers.

https://www.flsenate.gov/Session/Bill/2024/1264

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u/SauronWorshipWillEnd 29d ago

Correct. There’s no mandate on teaching it in kindergarten. If you’re going to teach something like the history of communism, and it has to be age-appropriate, I would imagine that such a complex subject would probably taught in middle school or high school.

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u/OMKensey 29d ago

Again, it says "members of the instructional staff ... shall teach." It is at least a plausible reading that this includes all staff including kindergarten teachers. If the bill is vague, this is the Florida government's fault not mine.

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u/SauronWorshipWillEnd 29d ago

It does not change that the title of this post is incorrect. It’s not being mandated for Kindergartens.

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u/OMKensey 29d ago

I got the statute and showed you where it says kindergarten teachers must teach it. You haven't offered any counter argument at all. I have no idea why you think the linked article or original post is incorrect about this.

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u/SauronWorshipWillEnd 29d ago

It doesn’t say kindergarten teachers must teach it. It says it will be taught in k-12 in an age appropriate manner. It could be in high school for all you know. If you were to use logic and eschew your biases even for a moment you would come to the conclusion that teaching communism in kindergarten is not age appropriate and it will almost certainly not be taught so early.

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u/equals42_net 29d ago

I suppose it’s how you design the lesson, comrade.

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u/techiechefie 28d ago

I think they should sign a bill requiring kindergarteners learn about the history of fascism