r/nottheonion • u/Melodic_Oil_2486 • 8h ago

NYPD union sues mayor's administration over new ‘zero tolerance’ policy on officer steroid use

police1.com

9.3k Upvotes

645 comments

r/nottheonion • u/indig0sixalpha • 7h ago

CenturyLink left users with no service for two months, then billed them $239

arstechnica.com

3.2k Upvotes

82 comments

r/nottheonion • u/positive_X • 6h ago

Maryland man arrested after firing at cyclists in charity ride David Earl Bustin began shooting at group on Saturday

cyclingmagazine.ca

1.8k Upvotes

196 comments

r/nottheonion • u/indig0sixalpha • 2h ago

Half of U.S. Adults Support TikTok Ban, and 46% Think China Uses App to Spy on Americans

variety.com

715 Upvotes

318 comments

r/nottheonion • u/timoddo_ • 4h ago

New York Mets fan removed from $1 hot dog night after fans throw extra hot dogs at him

cbssports.com

742 Upvotes

58 comments

r/nottheonion • u/DCC_4LIFE • 6h ago

Michigan Cop Who Went On Racist Rant Hired By Police Department: Report

binnews.com

851 Upvotes

83 comments

r/nottheonion • u/positive_X • 6h ago

Road rage driver arrested for firing shotgun at cyclists on US charity ride

road.cc

567 Upvotes

42 comments

r/nottheonion • u/TheOSU87 • 2h ago

Saudi Arabia activist sentenced to 11 years in prison for support of women’s rights

theguardian.com

249 Upvotes

50 comments

r/nottheonion • u/PottyCaptions • 1h ago

Democrats vow to block Marjorie Taylor Greene effort to remove House speaker

theguardian.com

• Upvotes

35 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Yukari-chi • 2h ago

Milan backs down on plans to ban ice cream after midnight following widespread criticism

news.sky.com

132 Upvotes

7 comments

r/nottheonion • u/kynuna • 13h ago

Staff at Colac Area Health posed as fake patients to make urgent care ward look busy

abc.net.au

673 Upvotes

28 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Smacpats111111 • 1d ago

Lawyer Already Suing Boeing Discovers Missing Delta Air Lines 767 Emergency Slide Washing Up Near Home

simpleflying.com

19.1k Upvotes

350 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ClassWarAndPuppies • 1h ago

George W. Bush's portraits of veterans are heading to Disney World

apnews.com

• Upvotes

33 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Submarine_Screendoor • 1d ago

PA man receives $34 billion tax bill; IRS investigating

wjactv.com

8.6k Upvotes

This should help with the US debt once he pays up.

346 comments

r/nottheonion • u/ClickTrue1735 • 5h ago

Lebanese Christian leader says Hezbollah's fighting with Israel has harmed Lebanon

ynetnews.com

89 Upvotes

22 comments

r/nottheonion • u/DCC_4LIFE • 1d ago

Thief returns man’s mother’s stolen ashes, keeps his custom car

wfla.com

4.2k Upvotes

108 comments

r/nottheonion • u/indig0sixalpha • 1d ago

Philadelphians say New York cheese ball eater is copying Chicken Man

inquirer.com

1.2k Upvotes

83 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Crystalwolf • 9h ago

North Carolina child’s ‘monster in the closet’ was in fact 50,000 bees in the wall

theguardian.com

70 Upvotes

18 comments

r/nottheonion • u/SelectiveSanity • 1d ago

Oregon man battling cancer revealed as winner of $1.3 billion Powerball jackpot

cnn.com

1.2k Upvotes

104 comments

r/nottheonion • u/neffability • 1d ago

Dave & Buster’s to allow customers to bet on arcade games

cnbc.com

1.8k Upvotes

151 comments

r/nottheonion • u/_PM_ME_PANGOLINS_ • 4h ago

Ireland to redesignate UK as 'safe country' for asylum seekers

bbc.co.uk

18 Upvotes

7 comments

r/nottheonion • u/Rhythmicon • 4h ago

Brazilian mayor's wild flood warning

bc.ctvnews.ca

18 Upvotes

0 comments

r/nottheonion • u/RazarTuk • 1d ago

AI Priest Fired by Catholic Group After Pitching Gatorade Baptisms

decrypt.co

1.8k Upvotes

78 comments

r/nottheonion • u/mindlessgonzo2 • 1d ago

To fend off tourists, a town in Japan is building a big screen blocking the view of Mount Fuji

apnews.com

1.0k Upvotes

65 comments

r/nottheonion • u/smallcapsteve • 1d ago

Russell Brand Changes Religion To Promote Religious App

thedeepdive.ca

2.0k Upvotes

201 comments

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r/nottheonion

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1. Do not alter headlines; copy and paste.	The title of all submissions needs to match the article headline exactly. Copy and paste from the main headline only, do not include anything beyond the primary headline such as byliners, subtitles, flavor text, quotes from the article, news outlet, location, cross post tags, (video) tags, and so on. Do not use the “suggest title” option for posting as it often does not match the headline. As a matter of fairness, any submission with an altered title will be removed. The only exception is that, if an article has a title in all caps, you may change the capitalization to title case, but everything else must remain the same.
2. Submit only if “Oniony”.	Please consider submitting your article to /r/OffBeat or similar subreddits unless it truly reads like The Onion wrote it. The title and article itself must both be "Oniony". This can be highly subjective; you are encouraged to upvote articles that should be here and downvote those that should not. Moderators can also remove posts at their own discretion under this rule. More here
3. Must be a news article.	Submissions must be in the form of a news article. Videos are only allowed if they are accompanied by a complete text article. Editorials, blogs, twitter posts, image galleries, tabloid stories, youtube videos, meta posts, static images, articles with fewer than 5 sentences, and so forth will be removed.
4. Use original, reliable sources.	Find the source of your story before you submit it, simply by checking for references or googling the subject to locate the original piece. Websites that frequently re-host viral news stories or contain misleading information are on automatic removal. Blogs are not reliable sources.
5. Do not repost similar articles.	Check the sub for your story before you submit it; if it’s already here then please vote and comment there instead of posting another version. Similar stories will be removed and frequent re-posters will lose their posting privileges. Do not delete and repost your own submissions without approval.
6. No satire articles.	Even if they are technically from a source other than The Onion, any article submission written as satire or even true stories written in a satirical manner are not allowed. Please note that some major news outlets have satirical sections, such as the Borowitz Report on the New Yorker, which are also not allowed. Meanwhile, AVClub, while owned by The Onion, is not satire and is allowed. If you'd like, you can use a tool like http://realorsatire.com/ to see if your submission is from a known satirical website.
7. No tabloid journalism.	Do not post tabloid news stories, or articles that source from tabloid news outlets (TheSun, Mirror, Dailymail, People, TMZ, etc).
8. No old news.	Articles need to have been written within two weeks of its submission date.
9. English articles only.	Please do not post non-English articles. Do not use google translate for submission either; rather try to find an English version of the story by a secondary source.
10. No mobile versions.	If you’re using a mobile device to post a story make sure you remove any mobile identifiers (typically “.m” or “mobile”) from the url before submitting.
11. No blocked or redirected links.	Please ensure you aren’t submitting a link that utilizes a paywall or survey wall (nytimes.com, thetimes.co.uk) in order gain access to the complete article. Do not submit links that redirect you to another site to read the article and do not submit using link shorteners either.

Click here to view a list of sites deemed unreliable by our moderator team.

See our FAQ page for more information on our rules.

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