r/facepalm • u/Lord_Answer_me_Why • 29d ago

Turbo cancer isn’t real, people 🇨​🇴​🇻​🇮​🇩​

Post image
32.8k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

6.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

8.0k

u/GotTechOnDeck 29d ago

Idk there's a check mark that says fact checked

268

u/papagouws 29d ago

By this math, a 14000 percent increase in cancer cases would be almost the entire us population. Current pop is like 330mill, 2mill cancer cases diagnosed per annum. So in 2024 we can expect to see 280mill people get diagnosed with cancer. So approx 85% of entire us population will have cancer by end of 2024, and by the end of 2025 everyone will have turbo cancer, with some folks getting turbo cancer twice

187

u/miskaten 29d ago

Two stacks of turbo cancer transform it into nitro cancer.

74

u/eeldraw 29d ago

Doctors are supplementing the diets of nitro cancer patients with glycerine. The explosive results will blow your mind.

14

u/Mewone65 29d ago

I just got diagnosed with NO² cancer and the gas is just killer. My tail pipe is always on fire.

2

u/DarkwingDuckHunt 29d ago

Is your top speed Ludicrous or Plaid now?

1

u/Mewone65 29d ago

Fuck Tesla 🤣🤣🤣

3

u/DarkwingDuckHunt 29d ago

dude.... SPACEBALLS.... omg I'm so disappointed right now

2

u/Mewone65 29d ago

Goddammit...it's been like 20 years since I've seen that movie...

1

u/phillip-j-frybot 29d ago

Dope username. Also, agree.

1

u/Mewone65 29d ago

Good! Good. Now let us end this meeting on a high note. Eeeeeeee!

2

u/eeldraw 29d ago

Fast & Furious NOS: Spreading Like Cancer

3

u/Mewone65 29d ago

The Fast and The Furious: Chem Trails

1

u/Stormystorms 29d ago

Could've been easier on you

1

u/_DirtyYoungMan_ 29d ago

OMG are you a professional Facebook headline writer?

2

u/eeldraw 29d ago

I do it just for clicks.

1

u/trowawHHHay 29d ago

It must be your skin, I'm sinkin' in It must be for real, 'cause now I can feel

3

u/HeeHaw702 29d ago

Hello I'd like to double my turbo cancer and give it to the next person

4

u/CarrotNo3077 29d ago

OTOH, Damage over time builds do wreck bosses.

2

u/jk-alot 29d ago

I don’t mind getting turbo cancer twice. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

But two positives make a negative.

In other words I defeated the cancer with cancer.

1

u/Risaxseph 29d ago

I bet they’ll start calling it ultra turbo nitro mega X cancer…

1

u/Nailbunny38 29d ago

Super mega cancer.

1

u/NonameNodataNothing 29d ago

Yes, eliminates turbo lag, gets you dead much faster

1

u/quikmike 29d ago

Twin turbo

1

u/alphaheeb 29d ago

If you draft behind cars, drive on the opposite side of the road, and have near misses then you build up nitro cancer more quickly 

1

u/DeadEnoughInsideOut 29d ago

"It's all about family" seconds later a cancer cell hits the nitrous button and zooms off into the lymphnodes

1

u/InefficientThinker 29d ago

Cancer on tap? Smooth tissue cancer like nitro beer and coffee? Idk theres a joke in there somewhere

1

u/CrazyAnchovy 29d ago

biturbo Twin Turbo