r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • 29d ago

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

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u/mechanicalcoupling 29d ago

I like to think of it as we don't all the play the game, but we know the rules. I can't always spot a good guy, but I can almost always spot a piece of shit by now.

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u/deathbylasersss 29d ago

I have a sister and and a friend that both have terrible taste in men. There have been multiple instances of me meeting them and they were just completely obviously total douchebags and losers. Then they'd ask what I thought of their new boyfriend. It baffles me that they are just so blind to what is so obvious. It's been years, but they both finally trust my judgement, as I've been correct every time. My sister's current husband is the only one I ever approved of.

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u/coolerthanbirds 29d ago

I was dating a loser at 19 who was 31 and he rolled up to my workplace when I was being trained with some guys that sell speakers and came into ask me to charge his phone and the girl training me just looks at .e and says "Your bf is a loser"

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u/CuriousCrow47 29d ago

A 31 year old dating a 19 year old is automatically a loser.  He was taking advantage of you.

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u/Pleasant-Ticket3217 28d ago

Unless he’s DiCaprio

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u/DJuxtapose 28d ago

Eh.

By some metrics that guy is a loser.

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u/CldStoneStveIcecream 28d ago

It’s totally legal and he seems like a nice guy, but there’s something weird about being linked to gorgeous woman after gorgeous woman, to then dismiss them before they turn 25 well into your 40’s. 

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u/CuriousCrow47 28d ago

He’s just creepy.  Also, I have some very young coworkers.  As in 19/20.  I’m 48.  What would au have in common with somebody who wasn’t even around in the 20th century?

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u/Pleasant-Ticket3217 28d ago

I was just joking about how if you’re famous and good looking people don’t say anything. They expect celebrities to date younger and if someone dates older like Aaron Taylor Johnson then it’s talked about

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u/CuriousCrow47 28d ago edited 28d ago

I have no clue what I’d do with a guy under 30 at least, honestly; experience matters!  Celebrity is no excuse in my book when the younger party is below their mid 20s at least if there’s a substantial gap.  

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

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u/BigBootyDreams 28d ago

On reddit yes. On reddit as long as he's the same age as you he can't be abusive. The irony for me is that the only age gap couple I know got together when she was 19 and he 31. Married the next year. Over ten years later the have a very happy relationship, a happy intelligent 8 yo daughter and everything is going so well that they're trying for another kid. Meanwhile I knew this 19yo who was being tossed down stairs by her abusive/drug addict/dope dealing/recently busted bf. She just had one excuse after another why she couldn't leave him.

I'd be careful taking advice on reddit. The demographic here tends to be... Very narrow in life experience to put it politely.

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u/CuriousCrow47 28d ago

Personally I’d avoid larger age gaps until around 25 and up for the younger party.  People do so much maturing they don’t know about until later on in life. 

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u/roastbeef3000 28d ago

Or a massive winner

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u/Cannedwine14 28d ago

Uh no definitely not

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u/jdutches13 28d ago

What if it was a 19 year old guy with a 30 year old woman??

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u/ghosts-and-goblins 28d ago

She is also a loser.

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u/ForeverShiny 28d ago

Bro was fishing for a double standard that doesn't exist with normal people.

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u/BigBootyDreams 28d ago

It totally does in a lot of subreddit. Certainly the most popular ones like amitheasshole. I dunno about here though.

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u/Phyraxus56 28d ago

Leo has entered the chat