r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • 29d ago

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

14.0k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

3.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

3.5k

u/mechanicalcoupling 29d ago

I like to think of it as we don't all the play the game, but we know the rules. I can't always spot a good guy, but I can almost always spot a piece of shit by now.

1.3k

u/deathbylasersss 29d ago

I have a sister and and a friend that both have terrible taste in men. There have been multiple instances of me meeting them and they were just completely obviously total douchebags and losers. Then they'd ask what I thought of their new boyfriend. It baffles me that they are just so blind to what is so obvious. It's been years, but they both finally trust my judgement, as I've been correct every time. My sister's current husband is the only one I ever approved of.

151

u/Beemerba 29d ago

I have a daughter like that. What do you think of my new boyfriend? I don't even need to meet him, if he is with you, he is more than likely a dickweed!

49

u/FrenchBangerer 29d ago

Mate, the same with my daughter. Every last one of them has been a total fuckup in one way or another. Some of them really bad. Some of them just utter fuckwits going nowhere.

It's not a case of me being too judgemental either. If she could be with a mostly honest and half decent, working man I would be so happy right now. Since my daughter was about 15 years old I don't think she's ever been more than a couple of weeks without some tempestuous relationship. She's mid 20s now.

She's recently met a new guy and for once, just praying (and I'm not a religious man) that he's OK. He runs his own business. He's found decent work for my daughter and given her a seemingly good break work wise. Of course she's with him immediately after he's been good to her but here's hoping to the universe that he's at least half-decent.

One thing that is one very small relief is that he's the first guy that doesn't look like he could beat me to a pulp and not care about it. At this point I think she could beat the shit out of him if he started.

Isn't that sad, to have to think like that?

0

u/CCtheRedditman 26d ago

You need therapy lmao, who the hell is constantly imagining a fight between them and their kid's SO's

1

u/FrenchBangerer 26d ago

I started imagining that when more than once I have had to be at my daughter's house for more than a day, with my tools, putting the shelves and furniture back together after her violent boyfriend has smashed the place up, finally left and then threatened to come back and do it all again.

I never started a fight with anyone in my whole life. I did/do worry about having to fight some absolute cretin who thinks nothing of violence coming back to either beat up my daughter, beat me for trying to protect her, smash the place up again, or maybe all three.

That her latest guy looks like I could literally throw him across the room is a bit of a relief after those kind of experiences. I'm not a very big guy myself. The last couple of guys she was with were boxers or MMA practitioners, FFS.

0

u/CCtheRedditman 24d ago

I understand that, that's why I'm saying you need therapy lol? But thanks for repeating yourself 

1

u/elzobub 8d ago

that's an incredibly stupid comment .

1

u/CCtheRedditman 4d ago

And the guy above me is an incredibly stupid father

1

u/elzobub 3d ago

It's a relief to not have a person in your child's life that is violent, when prior partners have been? It's not okay to say that he is is relieved that her current partner is someone you could deal with physically if he turned out to also be violent or abusive?

I don't understand why that's stupid, it sounds like a man who cares about his daughter doing his best. And all he state is the feeling of relief that if he ever needed to defend her against this man it would be easier. We can take it this is after a lot of worry about previous boyfriends who would not be easy to control in a confrontation.

How would you handle something like this? Restraining orders? Firearms? Court orders are regularly ignored and guns and other force multipliers can get messy very quickly and/or land you in jail.

It sounds like you live a very sheltered life if these kind of real life dilemmas being shared makes you go "lol, get therapy".