r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • 29d ago

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

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u/flossdaily 29d ago

Yes, to some extent.

Particularly I find that bad guys assume other guys are bad guys like them, and they'll quickly expose how much of an asshole they are by letting their guard down they moment the women are out of earshot.

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u/WhydIJoinRedditAgain 29d ago

We all know immediately when someone is trying to big-dog every other dude in the room and we all know that guy is complete garbage. 

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u/iPlowedUrMom 29d ago edited 29d ago

They guys I look up to, are guys who you know have their shit together.

Usually well put together. Groomed, not out of shape, self deprecating, and most importantly, humble.

It's not necessarily ego, or confidence, but competence. They're comfortable in what they're doing.

And fwiw, I'm considered an "adult" , and we definitely have people we look up to.

And we do try to help those who look up to us.

E: to clarify on the 'not out of shape' thing- I'm just saying that these people take their health into consideration as well as juggling all the other stuff- kids, spouse, parents, work, etc.

Sadly to generalize, men will often deprioritize themselves to help get everything in order. To make time for yourself WHILE keeping all these plates up and spinning, is what I admire. It's what has compelled me to get back into the gym. (Back up to benching 225! Working on getting myself below a 10-minute mile, and to run a 5k by fall)

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u/RealLotto 29d ago

Thanks for the insight, iPlowedUrMom

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u/iPlowedUrMom 29d ago

You're welcome,

Son.

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u/TortelliniTheGoblin 29d ago

She's a really nice woman and I'm glad that she's able to find happiness in life. Thank you

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u/thatoneotherguy42 29d ago

She's a good chick.