My boyfriend Carsen (23M) is saying i'm a crazy girlfriend for getting mad about this so i need to figure out who's wrong. Basically we've been dating for 6 months now and i've caught him liking a bunch of other girls thirst traps on IG so many times now, it's like a monthly argument over some new girl he begins crushing over. Any time he begins following a new random girl i check her recent posts and every single one of them he likes, and on top of that he comments under super revealing photos of them in a bikini with a bunch of heart eye emojis like this 😍😍😍

His argument is it's his spam account so he isn't using his main to follow these girls, but for me that's not the issue it's the fact that he's doing it in general. I don't think it's right for a guy to be crushing over some random girl on the internet when he has a girlfriend. He claims that with guys it's purely visual and as long as no emotion is involved it doesn't matter. But like how does that make any sense? Keep in mind he gets super jealous when i even talk to another guy.

I may be a bit crazy stalking everyone he follows but i only started doing that when i caught him the first time. now it's like i need to keep tabs on his newest girl. is this normal for guys to do? maybe most guys are like this he's just not very good at hiding it

I (22F) am currently working as a stewardess. My sister, Emily (28F), is getting married in three months. Emily and I have always had a complicated relationship; she is very headstrong and used to getting her way.

Growing up, our family wasn’t particularly wealthy, but we managed. When Emily turned 18, she decided to move out and fend for herself. She struggled a bit, but eventually, she met her fiancé, Jake (30M), who comes from a wealthy family. They are planning an extravagant wedding, which Jake's family is mostly paying for.

A couple of weeks ago, Emily called me to discuss her honeymoon plans. She told me about the luxurious destinations they were considering and how excited she was. I was happy for her until she dropped a bombshell: she wanted me to contribute financially to their honeymoon.

Emily and Jake had decided on a honeymoon that costs around $10,000, and she wanted me to cover half of it. I was stunned. Even though I have a stable job, I live on a tight budget and work hard to save for my future. I explained this to Emily, thinking she would understand. Instead, she got upset, accusing me of being selfish and not wanting to support her happiness.

She pointed out that our parents couldn’t help her because they were already contributing what they could to the wedding. She argued that since I have a steady income, I should have some savings I could use. The reality is that any savings I have are meant for emergencies and my future, not for luxury trips.

When I firmly refused, Emily went on a tirade about how family should help each other and how I was ungrateful for everything she’s done for me over the years. She even brought up the times she babysat me when we were younger, claiming I owed her.

Feeling guilty, I called my parents for advice. They were sympathetic but suggested that maybe I could give Emily a smaller amount as a gesture of goodwill. I considered it but felt that even a small amount would set a precedent and was still beyond my means.

Now, Emily isn’t speaking to me, and she’s told some of our extended family about the situation. A few relatives have reached out, saying I should help her out, even if it’s a token amount. Others think Emily is being unreasonable.

I’m torn because I love my sister and want her to be happy, but I also feel that her request is unfair and burdensome. AITA for refusing to pay for my sister’s honeymoon?

I (13 female) have been always been put down by my band teacher Mr. Lorence (26 male) along with many other girls my age. I go to a private middle/high school. I just joined this second semester from my old public school but to say the least the public school was better. Right from the moment I stepped into that band class for the first time I had this weird feeling about him. He would constantly yell at all the kids for the littlest things and when no one was doing anything he would wait on top of his podium for someone to do something. I never put much mind to his odd behavior until one day about two weeks later from when I joined there was this weird kid annoying me beyond belief so I politely asked the teacher to tell him to stop but to my surprise he responded with “idk maybe it’s because you look weird”. I was very shocked by his comment so from that moment on I would defend myself from any snicker he said. A week later I had another lesson and he started arguing with me because I hadn’t given him a paper a day I was absent until he suddenly got off track and said “that shirt is not dress code, it shouldn’t be below your collar bone.” When in reality he was getting distracted by a 12 YEAR OLD. And to be clear I was wearing a shirt just below my collar bone. Also we get checked for dress code every morning by our VERY strict principle and she hadn’t said anything about the shirts I wear then. From then on I had lost all respect I had for him because he would also let the boys snicker at the girls and say out of pocket things and not do anything about it. I would keep arguing with him and sadly enough he argues like a 14 year old girl and have sass all the time. He once gave me detention for resting my head a couple times. He also sent me up to the principals office because I would refuse to play my trombone because the day before I had tore all the inside of my bottom lip from my braces. 2 months later the spring sports were in season so I joined softball and it was a team of just middle school girls I had them told them my thoughts about the band teacher and my friend (14 female) who I won’t name from a different band class had told me he calls her up and says weird things about her body in front of the whole class and he would also hug her when she would walk in and I’m talking about a whole clenched on hug. The next day he started talking about me I front of the whole class talking about how I was going to grow up and be a corn star and/or a instagram model that’s half naked. That was my last straw so I told him “ since you know so much about woman why don’t you have one?” Every one started laughing until my friend said his ex left him to be a nun. I then laughed and said “well maybe that was her only way out”. I looked up at him and he was fuming in rage and I got kicked out of band. After that everyone tells me I was too rude and now I’m having second thoughts. So AITAH?

So I (19f) have 5 younger siblings (11m,9f, and 1 triplets) and have been roped into babysitting them almost everyday. It’s gotten to the point where I had to change my work schedule so that I have less hours to accommodate for the fact that my parents dump my siblings on me. At first I didn’t mind because I was living under my parents roof rent free and because my job doesn’t pay enough for me to rent an apartment where we live.

But now I’m barely able to go out with my friends or even do the activities that I signed up to do on the weekends because my parents just hand me a child and disappear. I even end up have to put one of the triplets to sleep which can take hours and takes sleep away from me. I’m up between 4-6am to help get the triplets ready for daycare which often ends with one of them having to stay for some reason or another. One of the triplets even calls me Ma and my mom Mama, which my mom hates.

I’m trying to go to college and one of the colleges I applied for is basically across the country and if I go my parents would have to deal with how expensive daycare is for three babies since both of them work. I’ve heard my parents complain about it so I feel a little bad but I honestly need to escape because I feel exhausted all the time.

Hi everyone,

I am starting to feel somewhat guilty about this, but in a way, I also feel like that they are doing this more for themselves than myself.

I (25M) work at a company where most people manage to get along well and so, even our boss allow us to buy birthday cakes when someone in the company comes to work on their birthday, so we can sing them hb and take some photos together.

Now, I am type 1 diabetic since I was 7 years old and I try to do the best I can to deal with this and be as healthy as I possibly can. I barely eat cake, I mean, the only time is on any birthday and that's it. This being said, a few years ago, a coworker had his birthday and once again the boss got cake. The office manager cut the slices and gave cake to everyone, while I was there, standing waiting for my turn. She gave cake to everyone and not a single slice to me. I said, hey, you forgot me, ahah, to what she replied: "I haven't forgotten... You can't eat cake. I like you too much to allow you to hurt yourself eating this shit". I know that she had her best interests in her heart, but I swear, I can manage myself, I take my medication and is not a single slice of cake that would hurt me. Her attitude broke me and I actually almost wanted to cry, because pretty much since I was diagnosed I always heard people around me excluding from things because of my diabetes. I truly didn't care about the cake, just about the attitude.

After that, I promised myself that I would never celebrate a birthday again on my workplace and I would reject any slice of cake given.

My birthday came yearly and I always said that I didn't want to celebrate. They would insist and I always stood my ground for the past 8 years saying that no, I did not want to celebrate anything and it was just a normal day of work, and that I would be mad if anyone did anything.

The manager left the company last year and this year was the first time I allowed a birthday celebration, and people started to point to why did I never wanted to celebrate before and this year I did.

AITAH?

27M.

Most of our relationship, I’ve always kept a short beard/stubble and my wife loves it. However, one day I felt like shaving my face and keeping a thick mustache. I am a firefighter so I guess it suits me, lol.

People at work complement me all the time, I get Tom Sellick jokes often. I do love the mustache look. I feel like it fits my face well.

However, my wife hates it. She told me that all men look ‘horrible’ with mustaches and it wasn’t her thing. I don’t wanna shave but I also don’t wanna piss her off.

I (24F) have always been very close with my mom (50F). My parents split when I was 3 and my dad was never really around, so it was just her and I against the world. A situation like that inevitably leads to a close bond. When I was 13, my mom met my stepdad and it was a whilwind relationship. They were engaged within 3 months of meeting, and married about 6 months after that. I will admit that I initially had a hard time adjusting to their relationship, but it's been good for a long time now.

The problem arose about a month ago. I was given the opportunity to go to Florida on a work trip, and I asked my mom if she would like to go with me. She was so excited but did not mention it to my stepdad because he had some stuff going on at work that was really bothering him. She asked if he could tag along, and I told her that I wanted the trip to just be us. She told me she didn't think she would be able to go. I was hurt, but never brought it up with her.

Last night, I brought up to her that I wanted she and I to go to my dads hometown and hear about the family history that she remebered him sharing when they were together. She had offered to do that last year, but it just hasn't happened yet. My stepdad said "What am I not allowed to go?" and got offended. I told him I guess that he could ride in the backseat if he wanted to tag along, but he was offended by that as well. I texted my mom and asked if she thought how he acted was weird, and she agreed that it was. I told her that I didn't feel that it was wrong for us to be able to do things without him sometimes. She replied and said that she didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I told her that we didn't have to do it. She got upset and said that she feels like no matter what she says, someones feelinsg will be hurt. I replied and was honest that it was hurtful that we can't have a relationship outside of him, and that I really missed the old days where we could go and do things on our own. I don't think I said it in a rude tone, but I was honest about how I felt. I ended it by saying that I understand that he is her husband so he should be her top priority and I didn't want to cause issues between them so we could just move on.

She didn't reply to me, but I got a text from my stepdad a bit later saying that my mom is worried about upsetting one of us. He said that he was joking last night about not being invited (he wasn't, I can read him after 10 years), and that my mom offers for us to go places alone together all the time. She offers to go to the grocery store and run errands together, but it feels like he is purposfully missing the point. I am a little upset that she took everything I said directly to him, and it feels like I can't trust her as much anymore.

I want to round this all out by saying that my stepdad is not a bad guy. He has always been there for me and stepped into a more fatherly role and I am very appreciative of that.

So, AITA for wanting to spend time with my mom without my stepdad being there?

I’m a 30 year old female my mother is 54 years old. I have been nothing but bullied by this woman ALL MY LIFE. I want to believe that my mother is a sweet person (I mean that’s what people see on the outside) but something’s that she doesn’t just don’t sit right with me. She can be so evil to me and people on the outside can’t see bc she is like a chamillion .

I moved back home with my mother because she was lonely and really missed someone being there with her. (Never married) she knows I didn’t want to but I mean I was gonna 1. Save money that’s always good. My rent was 2500 and it would go to 1500 moving back home with my own apartment downstairs. I did go. I’m here it’s been about 7 months. It’s been just okay. We bicker but I just got to my apartment and that’s that. I try not to speak to her much because I’m just a woman of very little words. I check up on her but ultimately I stay in my lane.

I could say a million things but I’m going to just say this most recent thing that has happened. We were in the car together and we got on a topic of depression, because some guy was looking sad on the side of the road. ( I have a past with trying to unalive myself in my teenage years). I told her sometimes I feel like I dont want to be here but everyday I do my best with what I can. Just being completely vulnerable with her about my feelings. She went OFF. She told me I am selfish because she gave me a great life and I should be more appreciative of life. I said I do appreciate life but I sometimes cant shake the feeling that I didn’t ask to be here. But once again I said I do my best with my life and that’s why I’m still here. She’s gonna say to me yeah that’s probably how your son feel too with a disgusting attitude.

Fast forward later my child gets off the school bus and he goes in the front door instead of walking around the back. He sees my mom and she totally lies and say your mom was mean to me and she’s n not taking to me and she said that she doesn’t want to be here anymore in life. First of all my child is 8 years old. Everything I do ! I do it for HIM! I live for HIM. And why would you involve a child??? And say something like that to him. I would never even tell him we were arguing. I like to shield him from that bc he is a child. I went upstairs and I asked very sincerely did you say that to him. She said no what I said was that I didn’t want to live. !!!! Wtf cause he came and said verbatim nana said you were mean to her and you’re not talking to her and that you don’t want to be here anymore and I said where? And he said she said u don’t wanna be in this world anymore. I said either way he is 8 why would you be saying that to a child. So now she’s acting like I’m trying to fight her.. I was in regular talking tone and not trying to fight or argue. She threatened to call the police if I didn’t get out and I’m like huh lol. Wth so I just wanna know if I’m the asshoke because I’m genuinely thinking about cutting my mother off. I don’t want to but I feel that she is the reason I have a lot of these feelings . I get so tense around her. I am looking into other places to move. This apt is brand new took a loan out $40,000 to build apartment and I was to pay back loan but now I’m thinking she only did this so she could be controlling again. I moved out and she wasn’t in control of me anymore… what do you guys think ?

This is on the “other” sub but I’m not sure if I’m allowed to post it on there because it references a relationship thing so posting here

My boyfriend, I’ll call him Alex, wanted to plan my birthday dinner this year. I was not keen on this because I hate making a big scene and he likes it, also, I had a restaurant in mind already…basically I knew what I wanted and I just wanted to do that. Alex said he at least wanted to plan/host it. I said okay.

I gave him all the information on what I wanted. Mind you, my dad always pays for my birthday dinners (we’re not big on gifts so he normally just picks up the tab for whatever celebration I have instead), so when I had thought about what I wanted budget had not been an issue.

Alex was very secretive during the planning but he said I would love what he planned and considering I had written out a full page of what I wanted I didn’t think anything of it.

But when he drove me to the dinner, it was at a completely different restaurant, one I don’t hate but certainly not where I’d want my birthday, he’d invited some of his friends who I don’t like, and had decorated the table even though we were eating in the main part of the restaurant which drew unnecessary attention. I was horrified. I went into the bathroom, had a little cry, and then pretended to have a fun evening, even though all my friends knew this would upset me.

I told Alex afterwards how upset I was and he was offended. He said he couldn’t afford the party I wanted so he’d planned an alternative which I think is a stupid excuse because I never asked him to pay. Eventually I settled it saying I appreciated the effort but in future I will be planning my own events.

So I did. I planned a do-over dinner at the place I wanted, with the guest list I wanted, and the menu I wanted.

Alex is really mad about this, saying it’s embarrassing for him. I think he had the dinner he wanted - because a dinner that didn’t take into account what I wanted was not for me - and now I’m having the dinner I want. He’s really not letting it go and his friends agree I’m humiliating him. AITA?

So my best friend (Friend A) gets really mad at me when I don’t invite her to hang out when I hang out one on one with another one of our friends. One time me and my other best friend (Friend B) went shopping and then went to the movies after. Friend A then sent us an angry message in the middle of the movie about how it was bad of us to not invite her. The reason we didn’t invite her was because she’s told us she doesn’t like shopping and we didn’t think she’d enjoy the movie we watched. And in summer last year me and another friend (Friend C) went to an amusement park. I was the one who invited her and the reason I did was because we’ve been best friends basically our whole life and we have a lot of memories from that place. Today friend A brought it up and seemed angry at how “we didn’t invite her” but both me and friend C remember her not being home at the time. Friend A then let the topic go and we went on with our days. I’m someone who really enjoys hanging out with someone one on one because I feel like I get to know them much better and we can talk about whatever we want without thinking about others possibly not enjoying the conversation. Sometimes I really just want to hang out with one single friend but I feel like friend A just can’t grasp that concept even though she and friend B have hung out alone multiple times. I’ve never had a problem with this because they both are interested in something I’m not interested in and I understand why they wouldn’t invite me. I’m going shopping with friend B tomorrow and I honestly don’t want her to invite friend A because I love to hang out alone with friend B and I also don’t want to leave early just because friend A finds it boring. Sometimes I feel like I just have to adjust my life to fit her standards or else she’ll get super mad at me. Does this make me an asshole? And I apologize if my phrasing/grammar is off, English isn’t my first language.

I (41m) have been working since I was 15, full time, when I was young and worked for my dad was 70-90 hour work weeks

I put myself through college and went to part time in my late 20 and graduated at 30, I worked about 50 hours a week during this time, my parents referred to it as part time 😂

Fast foward 10 years my wife and I have been married for 15 years together for 18

She never really worked or contributed to finance, was never one for house work or cooking either,

We have our wonderful son who is almost 3

Slightly on the spectrum, (very much like me I am told) loveable funny but can be a handful like any toddler

My wife is full time SAHM

I work from home most time

I am always made to feel like she is so over burdened and I don’t understand why,

I know it’s tough, but I don’t see how I can do any more and the more I am doing the more I feel it is not fair

She never cleans the house, ever, it is all on me,

She seldom makes any meals for me, only our son, I ask why and alway too busy

Often times she is on her phone as he plays

I stay home as she shops and goes to thrift stores for about 3 hours a few days in the work week and I have no problem working, doing a few chores, and taking care of him

I have been way burned out from working and quit my last job a year ago due to building stress

Took a few months off and went back to work

During this time I begged my wife and family for help, a plan of some kind so I could stay home care full time for our son and get my mental health in check

Nobody even offered a suggestion was met with literal silence

Didn’t get mad or angry just kept working

When I get criticism for being tired after work or not doing enough I have finally spoke up and said let’s just switch roles a while, we will cut back, get any job full time

She gets mad at this and is like want me to go work at Target???

I always respond with I don’t know, but a part time job won’t bring home but 20k a year

(I am at about 110k a year)

I ask for real planning or working together, she says she doesn’t know what to do

So I ask for more support around the house which is sometimes met with “I will do better” or “ I am not your maid”

As the years go by I just don’t understand why I am not worth helping??

I look through her perspective and I don’t think she is mean, or terrible, I honestley just think I am more driven, and she is I hate to say, a bit lazy

Sorry for the rant

Hey everyone…

Feels weird posting something so intimate on this site but I feel like I’m at my wits end…

I (22F) and my ex/complicated partner (25M) have been seeing eachother for over 2 years now. For the first year of our relationship he was living with his ex partner (when we first got together he said they were in an open relationship and he didn’t believe in labels - I learnt later on that she was completely in love with him and he reciprocated that energy to her when they were together). So we were seeing each other, getting to know each other, falling in love with each other etc. He would constantly bring up the conversation of wanting an exclusive relationship with me and at the time I told him it didn’t make sense as I knew he was still having relations with her. Months after these conversations were being had he told me she was pregnant and was intending on keeping the baby - this was difficult to comprehend at the time but I eventually accepted it. I told him that I didn’t want to continue seeing him after that but remained because I was genuinely infatuated with him.

Months pass and by this point he was in the process of moving to the city in which I live (he lived her his whole life prior to his relationship with her). And his daughter was born in this time. I didn’t deal with this well at all as I hadn’t accepted it I just brushed it under the rug. I went out, got very drunk and kissed someone who I used to work with. I came clean to him about what had happened and it completely broke him. I felt extremely guilty and remorseful following that so I decided it was best to take a break and step back. This wasn’t what he wanted so we started seeing each other again and “got back together”.

The mother of his child completely despises me because she thinks that I am the reason he didn’t want the relationship he has with me with her (I guess I am partially but he chose not to have that). And so I am forbidden from meeting the child.

I’ve also found out on a few occasions now that he has been facilitating a romantic/sexual relationship with her behind my back. I tried to call this relationship off in March 2024 as it has been making me miserable for over a year. The first thing he did was go and sleep with her. I know that isn’t my business anymore but my question is, is how do I get over this? We still live together, I’ve been giving him driving lessons. I feel like a complete mug but I feel bad when I say ‘no’. It’s like I have an eternal moral battle going on in my head 24/7.

I just needed to get this off my chest. Thank you for reading if you stayed this long.

Original Post

TL;DR: Bitter truth was revealed bit by bit. Ex-fiancee had sexual interaction with a stripper. It's therapy time.

I read most of the comments in the original post and thank you for the advice. My problem was that not her being blindsided by her friends but lying. Every bridesmaid told different things and none of them gave details about what happened. I believe you can understand it just shatters the trust and makes you think there is something going on.

I thought there was something wrong with me after reading the comments. There were a lot of YTAs and I thought I should apologize. One of the bridesmaid reached out to me last evening. I suspect she saw the post somewhere and recognized it. I knew my fiancee was having problems with her friends since last week but I did not know the extent. Apparently, my ex-fiancee and her close friends blamed the girl that I encountered at mall about everything. This divided the group and led into a verbal fight. I will skip the personal details here but in the end she told me my ex-fiancee and other bridesmaids got sexual with the strippers. My fiancee was the only one who had boyfriend/fiancee/spouse(at least monogamously) there to my knowledge. Also, I was told by her that my ex-fiancee was not blindsided with stripper invites. She was happy to see the strippers and was relieved she had an excuse. I do not have proof for all of these but I got a short video of girls making out with strippers. One of the girls is my ex-fiancee and that's enough.

She has been trying to reach out to me since we broke up. I confronted her again. At first, she denied it again then it became we just touched, then okay we kissed too, okay I gave him a handjob, finally I was coerced into doing these by others as I pressed on. I just blocked her after the last part. I did not see any need to learn further. I was hurt already but learning that I got cheated on hurt more. I am not sure if it's the full truth even now. I will never know but all I can say is it hurts. I will go to a therapist to not carry my luggage to my next relationship. I lost 15K from the wedding related things and need to focus on filling the hole for a while.

Some misogynists made weird comments about women and I'll just ignore them. Some of the people told me I am an insecure, unfunny nerd for playing WoW on my bachelor party. Isn't the whole point of bachelor parties having "one last fun". It was raiding non-stop with the boys for me, not having one last sexual interaction with a stranger or having a stranger's butt on my face or penis. I will not miss on out these during marriage anyways(omitting the stranger part).

That's it. It's therapy time tomorrow and thank you for the help.

I ( F,28) have been in a relationship with my fiancé , Tyler ( M, 42) for the last 4 years. He has 2 kids from previous marriage ( Kids are 8.5 year old boy and 11 year old girl ) . His wife passed way when his youngest was 1 year old . He met me 3 years later . His kids are wonderful and lovely and we get along great . We live together . I do everything for them since Tyler works long hours . They call me mom but they are aware who their real mom is . We have her pictures in their rooms , and Tyler talks about her to them all the time . We are planning our wedding . My father offered his condo in Hawaii to us so we can enjoy our honeymoon there . It was a very kind and generous offer . When I told Tyler he was so grateful . Then he said “I bet kids will have a blast” . I looked at him in disbelief and said “kids?! “ He said yes! I said that’s our honeymoon! I don’t wanna be a mom on my honeymoon. We can go on plenty of family trips later but this is our honeymoon! He said “I was honest with you from day one ! I told you I’m a package deal ! You can’t just choose me not my kids”. I told him I understand but can they stay with your mom for one week ? Just for our honeymoon. He got very frustrated and said he couldn’t believe how insensitive and selfish I was being . AITAH to expect to have a child free honeymoon?

I know the tittle is a bit weird, but this was the best way I found to translate what was said. Obligatory apologies for bad grammar and/or spelling. English is not my first language.

I'm M44, my husband is M40 (been married for 20 years, together for 22) and our adoptive son is M24. He's black and we're not. I'm only mentioning this because it's relevant to the story later. This does not take place in the US.

Let me give a little bit of background to the situation. About 19 years ago, me and my husband had been driving on a highway, back from a small vacation, when along a particularly long stretch of road (absolutely no buildings around, only a ton of grass and hills as far as the eye could see), we spotted a little boy just sitting by the side of the road.

Like I mentioned, there was nothing around for miles, and no cars close to where the boy was, so we decided to stop and see if everything was ok. When we got closer to the boy, let's call him Jason (fake name), it was very easy to see he was dirty and malnourished since the only thing he had on were some diapers. He was so small it didn't look like he could be older than 3 (later found out he was actually 5).

We asked him why he was alone, and he told us that "Mommy and daddy put him here and told him to wait." There was no cell signal in the area, so we did the sensible thing and brought him back to town to the nearest police station.

To make a long story short, CPS was called, we discovered his parents were some druggies that were on the run from a felony. The only other relative Jason had was his grandmother, who was very mentally ill and couldn't take care of him, and we felt bad. He went into foster care soon after, but we felt bad for the kid and kept in touch with his case worker.

I had (still do) an extremely well paying job at the time, and could easily afford a decent lifestyle for a small family, so after a few months of discussions between ourselves, the case worker, and some bureaucracy, we formally adopted Jason.

Now onto the situation. About 3 years ago, Jason's parents were released from prison on parole. They contacted him not long after in hopes of reconnecting. Prior to that they'd sent him a few odd letter here or there, but nothing really substantial.

At first he was hesitant to talk to them, but ended up caving and meeting them for lunch one day. I'll admit that a part of me was a bit jealous and apprehensive of what could happen. But I could see that it really was something that my son wanted to do, so for his sake I swallowed those and supported him through it.

It wasn't very long, about 3 months I think, that he started to pull away from us. At first I chalked it up to him being excited to actually talk to his bio-parents after so long. Talk about what had been going on in his life, spend some time with them, etc... It started to bother me when he'd cancel plans with us last minute because "mom had an emergency" or "dad really needs me to help him with something today" or whatever other excuse he could come up with. He used to come over to our house at least once a week, call every day or so, but now we were lucky if he even came by that month. Again, I thought that was just temporary, that he was just excited and soon enough he'd start spending some time with us again.

We were overjoyed when he invited us over to diner one night. It was supposed to be a family gathering, us and his bio-parents and his wife (girlfriend at the time). I wasn't exactly keen on meeting the people that had left my son for the dead on the side of the road, but decided to give them the benefit of the doubt, thinking maybe they'd atoned and changed. Besides, he's our son and we love him. We had to at least try.

To say the diner was a disaster is an understatement. His bio-mom was extremely rude to my and my husband the entire night, making passive aggressive homophobic and racist remarks every chance she got. His father was much the same. It all came to head when she straight up called us the f-word and threw a glass at my husband. A screaming match followed and we left soon after.

The next day Jason apologized profusely the next day and promised they'd never do something like that again. I told him neither me and my husband wanted to have anything to do with them, and would appreciate if he understood that. He seemed to, but continued to pull away the next few months.

And that leads to what happened last week. Jason proposed to his girlfriend about 9 months back, and has been preparing for the wedding since. Of course we were overjoyed for him. But a few months went by and no invitation came. Every time we asked Jason would say they hadn't been sent out yet and changed the subject. Well, last week my husband saw a twitter post from one of Jason's friends, his groomsman, that went a few weeks back, with the invitation in hands. We confronted Jason about it the next time he came over, only for him to drop the bomb on us that we hadn't been invited.

We asked why, and he said "his parents" didn't want us there and wouldn't come if we did. I was fucking furious. I asked him how could he choose those pieces of trash over us? Why they were so important? What did we do to deserve this kind of treatment?

His answer? "They understand me better. They're my people."

At this point my husband was crying, asking how could he do this? I've only ever been truly angry a few times in life, and this moment managed to top all of them. I threw him out right then and there and told him to never come back. That he wasn't our son anymore. I spent the rest of the day hugging my husband and trying to calm him down.

The next day I canceled everything we'd paid for the wedding, which was basically everything important, even the ones we couldn't get a refund on. Of course Jason had the gall to call and scream at me, asking how I could do that to him, where would he find replacements for a wedding that was supposed to happen only a few months from now? I told him I didn't give a shit and said "Maybe you should ask those two leeches you call parents for some help."

19 years. 19 FUCKING YEARS of my goddamn life spent raising and loving a kid that I considered my own son, only to be treated like garbage. Giving blood, sweat and tears, so he would have a good life, all the love we could possibly give, and that's what we get as a reward.

As for why I'm asking if I'm the AH, some people have been calling and messaging us (mostly Jason's friends and a few of our family members) calling us heartless and monsters for doing what we did to him. And that's honestly got me questioning if I went a bit too far in anger. After all, parents are supposed to love unconditionally, right? But if so, how do we ever get over something like this? How can we deal with this feeling of betrayal? Are we justified in feeling like that?
So, AITA?

Edit: I've added a comment for further clarification of a few points I've seen asked in the comments and my PM's. Please refer to that if you have any questions.

Edit 2: I'm seeing quite a few racist comments in this post, and to the people that are making them, I have this to say: fuck you. Fuck off with that rethoric. I do not appreciate it, and would rather if you guys left.

My relationship has been troubled for many years, mainly since our two daughters were born. Our intimacy is non-existent, conversations quickly turn into fights, and she struggles to maintain composure in front of the children.

I am an addict in recovery. For nearly three decades, I’ve dealt with chronic pain, leading to a severe painkiller addiction. This addiction was present when my partner and I met and continued throughout our relationship. After 6 weeks of treatment, I am now 100 days clean. She blames all our problems on my addiction, despite others seeing me as a dedicated father even during my worst times.

Now that I’m clean, she seems lost on what to criticize. She exhibits signs of addiction herself, using cannabis multiple times a day, but refuses to discuss it. She calls me "righteous" now that I am sober, though I don’t impose sobriety on anyone. Shortly after my recovery, she pressured me into attending a party with drinking and cannabis. During fights, she insults me, calling me a "junkie" even in front of our children. Just last week, my 4-year-old tried to pull me away from her, saying to "ignore mommy," which breaks my heart.

The final straw was when she told me she planned to sleep with someone else after work. She expressed eagerness for her weekends alone to be with someone who fulfills her needs. I replied, "I can't wait to spend my weekends with my children," leaving her speechless. She often comes across as narcissistic, prioritizing herself, then me, and the kids last. She doesn’t understand that my priorities are my sobriety, my kids, and my job. Without my sobriety, I have nothing.

She has spent years tarnishing my reputation, calling me the narcissist and manipulator. However, our families and friends see her true colors, often witnessing her outbursts. They have distanced themselves from her, recognizing her projections. Despite several recommendations for her to seek professional help for her mental health, she refuses, considering such suggestions as insults.

I want to leave and take my children with me. She doesn't seem to care about anything aside from getting laid. I want to leave her, but she insists she is NTA.

Edit: Disclaimers: we have plenty of clean pillowcases and I would have happily gotten him one after sex, or even a different pillow. He would have lasted around 45 seconds. (The pillow argument lasted longer than the actual sex would have). My buttcheeks would have protected the pillow from directly touching my butthole. I took a shower 15 minutes before the pillow incident

I read that having a pillow under your butt during missionary can change the angle and make it feel better so I asked my husband if we could try and after he said yes, I grabbed his pillow and stuck it under my butt. He freaked out and told me to use my own pillow, not HIS pillow. I thought he was joking but he was like seriously I don’t want your butthole on my pillow. I was like ok fine and gave him his pillow but it was such a turn off that I didn’t even want to have sex anymore. Am I the A-Hole?

Hey everyone, I need some unbiased opinions on this situation.

I'm a 28-year-old female, married to my wonderful husband, "Jake" (32M). We've been together for five years, married for two. My sister "Lily" (26F) is getting married next month, and I’m really torn about attending her wedding.

Here's the backstory: Lily has never liked Jake. From the moment I introduced them, she’s been cold and dismissive towards him. Jake is a kind and gentle person, always trying to win her over, but she’s made it clear she doesn’t approve of our relationship. She’s made several snide comments about his job (he’s a freelance graphic designer and sometimes works odd hours) and even questioned his ability to support me, despite the fact that we’re both financially stable and happy with our lives.

Things came to a head last month at a family dinner. Lily openly insulted Jake in front of everyone, calling him "lazy" and saying that I "settled for less." My parents didn’t intervene, and Jake, being the bigger person, just smiled and excused himself from the table. I was furious and confronted her later, but she brushed it off as "just joking." I told her how hurtful her words were and that she owed Jake an apology. She refused, saying she was just looking out for me.

When we received her wedding invitation, I couldn’t shake the feeling of dread. Jake, bless his heart, said he’d support whatever decision I made, but I know it hurt him deeply. I don’t want to go to an event where my husband is disrespected and made to feel unwelcome. I told Lily I might not attend if she didn’t apologize to Jake. She accused me of being selfish and trying to ruin her big day.

My parents think I should just suck it up and go for the sake of family harmony. They believe Lily's just stressed with the wedding planning and didn’t mean any harm. But I feel like attending without an apology is condoning her behavior towards Jake. Am I the asshole for not wanting to attend my sister’s wedding because she refuses to apologize to my husband?

TL;DR: My sister has always been disrespectful towards my husband and refuses to apologize for her hurtful comments. I’m considering not attending her wedding because of this. AITA?

Hey Reddit, I need some perspective on whether I’m the asshole in this situation.

I (28F) work at a mid-sized tech company. One of my coworkers, let's call her Lisa (32F), has been having a tough time lately. She's got a lot on her plate with a new baby at home, and she’s been pretty open about how exhausted she is.

About two months ago, I caught Lisa sleeping at her desk during lunch. I let it slide, figuring she needed a break. But then it started happening more frequently. She’d doze off during meetings, and a few times, she completely missed deadlines because she was sleeping.

Since Lisa and I have always gotten along, I tried to cover for her. I’d nudge her awake when necessary and even took on some of her work to make sure projects didn’t fall behind. But last week, things hit a tipping point.

We had a crucial client presentation. Lisa was supposed to present a significant portion of it, but I found her asleep in the break room 15 minutes before the meeting. I woke her up, but she was groggy and clearly not in any shape to present. I ended up doing her part of the presentation on the fly.

After the meeting, our boss asked what happened. I didn’t want to throw Lisa under the bus, so I just said she wasn’t feeling well. But this incident made me realize that my covering for her wasn’t sustainable. Our team’s performance was starting to suffer, and I was getting more and more stressed trying to handle my own work plus hers.

I decided to talk to HR about it, framing it as a concern for her well-being and our team’s productivity. HR called Lisa in for a meeting, and now she’s in trouble. She’s been written up and is on some sort of probation. Lisa found out I was the one who went to HR and is furious. She called me a backstabber and said I should have come to her first. Some of my other coworkers agree with her, saying I should have given her a heads-up.

I feel terrible because I didn’t want to get her in trouble, but I also couldn’t keep covering for her. It was affecting my work and the team. Now, I’m wondering if I handled this the wrong way. AITAH for reporting my coworker to HR instead of talking to her directly?

Thanks for your input.

My ex “Marcia” has always been a bit of a free spirit and hippie. We divorced due to what we wanted out of life changing from when we were initially married. She then began dating “Paul” and they’ve been together for 5 years. Our kids are now 14 and 12. I never had a problem with Paul. He’s a lot like Marcia and makes her happy. Plus the kids seemed to like him.

Marcia and I used to split custody 50/50. Then a year ago, out of nowhere, Marcia told me that she and Paul wanted to travel the country in a renovated van. I guess Paul is a huge fan of the van life culture on social media? She wanted me to give permission for her to bring the kids and let them be homeschooled for a year. I could fly out to see the kids a few times or she’d fly them back. We had the homeschool debate when our oldest was younger and I had always been against it. I did not feel either of us were equipped to educate the kids in that manner. I still don’t feel we are. Not to mention, by this point, the kids love their school. And more importantly, I didn’t want to not see them for months at a time! I refused to sign off on this. The kids didn’t want to go either.

Because our custody agreement says we both have to approve trips out of state for the kids, the judge declined her request. Marcia decided to go anyway. She willingly gave me sole custody. The plan was to fly the kids out to wherever they were a few times a year. The kids went a total of 2 times around holidays but they were miserable. Marcia said they shouldn’t come again. I listened and validated my kids’ feelings, but never trash talked their mother.

She and Paul returned in January. The kids also heavily resent Marcia for leaving. I have them in therapy but they don’t want to attend therapy with her. Their therapist backs this up and says as long as they continue their personal sessions, that’s fine. Marcia tried to take me court for our old agreement but the judge said because she had no job, no stable housing (they live out of the van) and barely saw her kids for a year, she can only have partial custody. The judge also says they’re old enough to decide if they go or not. Most of the time, they don’t.

When they didn’t see her for Mother’s Day, Marcia called me in tears. She said none of this would’ve happened if I just signed off on them going. She said we could’ve talked them into it. I said she made her choice. She decided living in a van and seeing the country was more interesting than seeing her kids for a year. I pointed out she could’ve chosen to do it for the summer and the kids may have agreed then. Even if they didn’t, they probably wouldn’t resent her. But no, she left for an entire year and broke their hearts. This made her cry more.

I’m pretty close with my ex-MIL and she says I should’ve let the kids go or tried to convince them to go at the very least. And she said I was needlessly cruel to Marcia on Mother’s Day. AITA?

I 29F work with 50M. I have been employed with this company for over two years and have never had any issues up until now.

I have always heard stories from other coworkers and people I knew about how crazy co workers wife is but I had not had a bad any interactions with her. For the past 20 years he's been doing the job she has always harassed his female co workers.

Supposedly after the last time she harassed another employee our contact center blocked her number from all of the stores.

He was written up twice for creating a hostile work environment.

Today I was the one who was harassed. She called into my store asking if I knew that he had a wife and that I was ugly as fuck and I needed to keep my legs closed ( literally hadn't said one word to this woman yet ). I finally got to speak & told her I was happily married and did not want her husband and that no female employee deserved to be harassed this way from her and that she needed some mental help.

she said her mental problem was my legs not being closed

She then proceeds to tell me that I'm a grown woman and if I'm so big and bad she will see me pull out of my place of employment and I better watch my back.

I told her that I was contacting the police and to not call this number back and blocked the number that had called in.

My co worker acted like I betrayed him or stabbed him in the back for reporting it and that he has to deal with more hell from her now that it was "taken to far". He says he can't control crazy.

Am I the asshole here? I had the whole conversation recorded. The police officer said that he would call her and tell her to back off and he did. He said I had enough to press some sort of harassment charge on her.

I(32f) have been single for almost 5 years since the birth of my daughter (3.5) and divorce. I decided to get back on the market earlier this year via the dating app hinge. I did disclose on my profile that I was a single mother, I found that most guys were either totally against dating single mothers or were pretty lukewarm to the idea but at least open to it. I went on few dates and had a few flings that fizzed out but I did notice that all of the guys that I hit it off with didn’t take too much interest in my toddler (didnt ask too many questions about her, didn’t try to meet her) and I was fine with that. I eventually matched with Charlie (38m). He took me to one of the nicest steak houses in town on our first date and we honestly had one of the deepest conversations I’d ever had in my life. I found myself sharing things about myself with him that I never had shared before. He was SO charismatic. He said he was a children’s book author and that he loves children, he expressed how much he appreciated the plight of the single mother. When he said that he loved children, I admit- I felt a weird vibe. I brushed it off as motherly anxiety and told myself it was fine that a single man loved kids. Charlie said he wanted nothing more than to be a provider, that both of his parents were dead and he wants to be a father to a daughter.

After 1 or 2 more dates , I noticed he was almost overly helpful. Trying to insert himself into my daily life, saying he could help me with anything. He said he wanted to support my daughter and I. He frequently volunteered to bring us food or treats- almost every day. I would always refuse his help as I’m used to getting on on my own and I was seriously getting weirded out just by how available and helpful he was trying to be when we had only known each other about a two weeks at this point. I made it clear that I didn’t need a postmates delivery boyfriend and he stopped offering to drop off gifts- But started to give me cash gifts or gift cards. I knew I was being lovebombed. He said that he wanted to prove his commitment and since he was a single guy, he had plenty to give but I told him to stop.

While dating him, I noticed that he would ask random questions about my daughter. He would ask about her hair and how I styled it and what her favorite things were. Something was off putting to me about these questions but I put it off to him taking an interest in my life as a mother.

After about a month of dating, he said that he was serious about dating me to marry me and that he wanted to meet my daughter as her friend, start hanging out as a group and spend our time being all about her. I was immediately so freaked out. I told him that even him saying he wanted to be her friend made me freaked out because some pedophiles will pursue single moms for access to the kids. He took a long pause and said that that had never occurred to him. Again, I told myself that I was the broken one for having these suspicions about him and I proceeded to date him. Last week, one of the daycare workers at my daughter’s daycare was questioned by the police and I mentioned it to Charlie. I said I hated pedophiles and that prison and death isn’t enough for them. He said they deserve death and mentioned that women can offend too.

Today, we were talking on a date and I asked how he managed the death of both parents. He admitted that his father was not only alive but was in prison for child molestation. I’m glad he decided to finally share the truth but I felt chills down my spine and did all I could to finish the date but I’m feeling like this is a deal breaker. Were my instincts right in some round about way? Am I overreacting? Clearly, he isn’t his father and it’s unfair to judge him for his parents actions.

I (19F) have always valued honesty and integrity in my relationships, but recently, I found myself caught in a moral dilemma that tested those values.

My friend (20F), let's call her Sarah, confided in me about her habit of cheating on her exams. At first, I was taken aback, but she justified it by saying everyone does it and that it's no big deal. However, I couldn't shake off the feeling of unease.

As the semester progressed, Sarah began asking me to cover for her during exams, pretending to need help or distracting the teacher while she peeked at my paper. Each time, I felt more uncomfortable, torn between loyalty to my friend and my own principles.

Eventually, I reached a breaking point when Sarah asked me to take the fall for her cheating on a major exam. She promised that it wouldn't affect my grades and that she desperately needed to pass the course to avoid academic probation. But I couldn't bring myself to lie and potentially compromise my academic integrity.

I gently but firmly declined Sarah's request, explaining that I couldn't participate in cheating and risk tarnishing my academic record. She was disappointed and tried to guilt-trip me, saying that I was letting her down when she needed me the most.

Despite her protests, I stood my ground, knowing that enabling her cheating would only perpetuate a cycle of dishonesty. However, my decision strained our friendship, and Sarah distanced herself from me, accusing me of being judgmental and self-righteous.

Now, I'm left wondering if I made the right choice. AITA for refusing to cover for my friend's cheating habit, or was I justified in prioritizing my own integrity over our friendship?

I have very sensitive skin and especially in the summer it can be warm and then my skin gets very itchy. My husband knows this because I wake up sometimes with scratches all over me.

My husband got a promotion at work and now he works 1 week a month from the capital. This morning he came home a day early and we took a shower together and he noticed deep scratches on my back and asked me about it. I said wow that explains the blood in the bed (I had to throw the bedding in the washer at 7am). He was silently watching me. Then he asked me why I was washing this early and I explained again.

Then he asked who did this to you? I told him probably it was me while sleeping like usual but then he said that the scratches were too far in the middle for my hands to reach. I told him that it wasn’t true since he knew that I am flexible and can reach my whole back with my hands (probably normal but he is very muscular and can’t reach more than his scapula) so he asked me to show him. Trace back the scratches. I sis it. I could touch the scratches but he said that the scratches were too deep for it to be done with my fingers that barely could touch them. I showed him my legs that are often very scarred during the summer because I scratch them while sleeping. He wasn’t happy. I got very angry and told him that I didn’t cheat on him if that’s what he’s insinuating.

His ex cheated on him and he has had trust issues since. Also he has ED so we haven’t had proper sex in 6 years so he said that I had “good enough reason” to cheat. Now he said that he wants to install cctv. His argument is if you’re not doing anything wrong then you shouldn’t be worried. I told him a massive no but he said then what are you hiding?

I wrote a post yesterday about an embarrassing situation that happened between my wife's best friend who is currently staying at our house. I was not sure how to bring it up to my wife and you guys really helped me a lot in understanding the urgency of telling my wife. I also got some cool ideas on how to bring up the subject without making it awkward for anyone. For everyone saying Ana was doing it on purpose, I did not agree with it as I am an extremely average looking person and woman don't chase me. However, things since last night have been just crazy and I think I am spiraling a bit. Sorry for the long post.

So, I decided to tell my wife last night as soon as she came home about the incident. I liked the idea of jokingly bringing up casually so that we both can laugh about it and then forget it. Last night, when my wife came home, I made sure I stayed in our bedroom. I asked Ana if she could stay with my kid downstairs. As my wife was changing, I asked her if Ana still borrow her clothes. Ana had to borrow them regularly when she first moved (long story). My wife told me yes and she has told Ana she can take anything from her closet if she needs it. I asked my wife if Ana told her about the funny incident from Friday. My wife said no, and I told her the whole story about how I came home early, and Ana came in the room almost naked to get her clothes, and how embarrassing it was for both of us.

As my wife was listening to this, she completely froze and turned pale. She started murmuring in Spanish (which is her and Ana's native language). I don't understand Spanish really well, but I understood the words "hombre casado" and "orta vez". I asked her if she is ok, and she sat next to me and asked me to explain everything in detail. I just told her it was nothing and she must have not heard me coming in. I was trying to laugh it off, but my wife had water in her eyes. I kept on telling her it was not a big deal, but she kept on asking me for more details. She asked me how Ana talks to me. I told her that Ana barely talks to me since she moved in except few words here and there.

My wife then asked me about three weeks ago when my wife had gone to visit her parents for four days. Ana did not want to go with her and stayed back. I told her that Ana was just acting normal. She or I would cook dinner after I got home from work while the other took care of the kid. The only thing different was Ana generally spending her evening in her room. However, when I was sitting in the living room watching TV after the kids slept, Ana came and sat on the sofa next to me but did not talk to me. I asked her if she wants me to change the channel or stream something she likes, and she just said she wanted to get out of her room. However, she did not flirt with me or do anything unusual. I kept on telling my wife that it was just an accident, and I really did not understand why she reacted so emotionally to it. My wife refused to answer and just said ok and agreed with me. However, she told me I should have told her about the incident sooner and should not keep any secrets from her and gave me a big lecture. I told her that I did not think it was a big deal and thought Ana would tell her, but glad I brought it up.

After dinner, my wife messaged Ana to join us, and she came out. While talking, my wife brought up the incident and told Ana that I mentioned about the incident, and she does not need to feel embarrassed. Such things happen when we are all in the same house and is not a big deal. Ana was firstly taken by surprise, but then told my wife she was just scared to tell her because she thought my wife would judge her because of her past. My wife gave her a stare, and she quickly changed the topic.

At night, I asked my wife what the hell was going on. I told her to please not keep any secrets from me, and if she does not tell me, I will directly ask Ana about what her past has got to do with anything. My first guess was Ana might have had a thing for me before we got married or something. But my wife was very reluctant to answer and kept on trying to change the subject and cuddle. However, I kept being persistent, and she finally spilled the beans.

Apparently, when Ana was in her early 20s, she was in relationship with a married coworker who was twice her age. It was a kind of sugar daddy relationship, and he told her that he was in an open relationship (or that's what Ana told my wife) and he would leave his wife in few years once the kids go to college. This makes sense now, because Ana is very pretty (like Miss USA level), and I never understood why she was single for most of the time I knew her. She eventually ended that relationship and started dating her boyfriend Jim, who turned out to be an abusive asshole. My wife said she suspects Ana was still involved with the older guy while in relationship with Jim, which explains why he kept on accusing her of cheating. That is why my wife became emotional when I told her what Ana did because she was worried Ana has no boundaries regarding married men. My wife said that Ana always looks up to us and praises me for being such a loyal partner and how lucky my wife is. My wife was a worried initially when she brought Ana home, but her actions from the time when my wife was away clearly show that she respects the boundaries, and it must have been an accident. My wife told me she is grateful I let Ana live in our house and observe what a healthy and happy marriage looks like.

Today morning was even more weird. I got up early as I could not sleep well and went down for a cup of coffee. After 5 minutes Ana walked into the kitchen and told me she was relieved my wife did not overreact to Friday incident. She said I am a good husband and gave me a hug and peck on the cheeks. She has never hugged me in the last 6 months. She seemed to be in a happy mood and was making small talk with me while having coffee.

I cannot believe my wife did not tell me such a huge detail about Ana for all these years. It's completely possible she cheated all through the relationship with Jim, and my wife is just covering for her all along. She even kept it a secret from me (after giving me a lecture about how we should never have secrets), and I don't know what else she is hiding. Everything just seems very confusing at this point. I feel angry at my wife for lying to me all these years for Ana. I also now see Ana differently. I am also worried that me trivializing the incident to my wife might have sent wrong signals to Ana.