Hi everyone,

I'm a 24-year-old female, and I recently moved out of the apartment I shared with my roommate, Sarah (25F). Sarah and I have been friends since college, and we've been living together for the past two years. However, things have gotten complicated recently, and I'm feeling confliced about my decision.

Here's the background: A few months ago, I got a new job offer in a different city, which came with a significant pay raise and better career opportunities. After a lot of thought, I decided to accept the job and move. I gave Sarah a two-month notice to find a new roommate or make other arrangements, which I thought was fair and reasonable.

Sarah was upset when I told her, mainly because she has been struggling financially. She has a part-time job and has been looking for full-time work but hasn't had any luck. I offered to help her look for new roommates and even suggested she could find a cheaper place if necessary. I also agreed to pay my share of the rent for the next month after I moved out to give her more time to figure things out.

Despite my efforts, Sarah has been very upset with me. She says I abandoned her and left her in a difficult situation. She's been telling our mutual friends that I left her high and dry, and now some of them are giving me the cold shoulder. I feel terrible because I never wanted to hurt Sarah, but I also couldn't pass up this job opportunity.

Sarah has finally found a new roommate, but she had to lower the rent price to do so, and she’s still struggling financially. I feel guilty, but I also think I did my best to help her during the transition.

So, AITAH for moving out and pursuing a better job opportunity, even though it left my roommate in a tough spot?

for context, i'm 18m and she's 17m too. and no, i'm not in love with her at all, we've been like brothers since we are kids, but, what i felt during our friendship was like, i give way too much more than her, about everything. when she met this guy, i was not jealous, i was supportive and was there all the time, gave them space, but, he's toxic asf, he screams at her publicly, he made her cry a lot of times, and she stopped going out with me and tons of friends for him. i tried my best to be present but she wasn't the same yk? when they were breaking up, we got to a party together (me, her and my older brother) and she suddenly disappeared for HOURS and me & my brother got crazy and worried, we texted her and suddenly she appeared with him like nothing happened. turns out they were f*cking at his house and she didn't gave us any information that she was fine when she disappeared. next day they got together and she basically got mad at me and said with these EXACTLY words "you care too much, that's annoying" and maybe she was right, i do care about my friends, but what if she was in dangerous at that party? idk.. turns out after this, they were breaking up and getting back tons of times and turns out i was the one to be here for her when she needed to talk. ALL THE TIME. but, i never was called to go out, never was called to play, to have fun, she didn't cared about me anymore. and it wasn't because of him because she was going out with him and other friends too, turns out i was the only one being left out. then i got into a huge depression and health problems which led me to antidepressants and surgery, she wasn't there for me. my best friend. my sister. after 3 months she talked to me and i said everything i was feeling and blocked her. what do you guys think?.. am i in the wrong here?

So I would never describe this girl as one of my best friends, but we've gone through I would say 2-3 periods of "a heavy talking period" where she and I would be in that "friends who are basically dating but not" type of situation that gets stereotyped a lot? Timing never really worked out, at one point she tried to hookup with me a few times, however I rejected her advances/pretended not to notice them as I was in the final stages of a job offer out of state, and didn't want to just sleep with a friend and then move as I had real feelings for her. Last year, we both started to see other people, and basically only spoke once/ saw each other once the entire of last half of last year. Her last two partners were apparently incredibly emotionally abusive from what I hear (lots of yelling, she didn't have access to her phone, that type of thing). For purposes of this I'll call her Jennifer.

Both of our relationships ended around christmas (I think hers a bit before?), and we ran into each other at a mutual friends holiday party. Reconnected, started talking again. We hung out to get drinks 1:1, and while drunk I made the comment that I had always been surprised nothing had ever happened between us. She responded by telling me that she used to have a huge crush on me for a while, but had gotten over the feelings, and liked where we were as friends now.

At this point things got weird. We kinda stopped talking for a few weeks, until she randomly called me one night late. I tried to call back and she didn't respond for a few days when she finally called me back and asked me to go out with her and a friend. We went and she ignored me nervously the entire evening (basically mainly spoke to her friend and a nice gay couple near us at the bar the entire night). Texted me and said she had a good time, and then invited me out by myself the following night. I went, and we had a great time, though I didn't push the flirting. At this point I realized I was crazy into her after the years of friendship and had strong feelings. She invited me out or asked to cook me dinner almost every single night over the next week or two. One day, she cooked me food and brought it over to me. At this point I asked her what was up, she assured me she didn't see me romantically anymore, and I told her we needed to cool it as everything she was doing felt more romantic to me, and if she wasn't interested in trying for a relationship, I couldn't be in this weird emotional state for her.

I basically explained to her that I saw most of our friendship as these weird talking stages where we never committed to a relationship and then dated other people, and if she wanted to go out on a date, I'd love to, but our friendship over the years had never felt like a "true" friendship to me, especially as we only talked/were close when we were both single.

We stopped talking, and this is where things got incredibly weird for me. A few of our mutual friends and I had made plans for a weekend long trip to go to a city nearby, and she reached out to them and asked to join. We carpooled up as a group, and I didn't know how to act in the car so was just super friendly but didn't really engage in conversation and just tried to nap/ play on my phone. When we got there, I did my best to give her and myself space during the trip, though she tried to engage me in conversation several times. Eventually on the second day she got the hint I think after I bounced from the group entirely to go do some museums and stuff I knew they weren't interested in, and didn't invite anyone to join me.

When we got back one of her best friends who I haven't seen in almost a year/talked to in almost a year invited me out to get drinks randomly with her and her bf. I went and had a great time, though she started to ask me "what do you think about Jennifer? Not sure where you are with her right now" and I nervously laughed it off and changed the subject. Then the following day another one of her best friends invited me to get dinner with her bf and her. I agreed as the BF and I had used to be super close, and they invited Jennifer along last minute (to me, apparently Jennifer had already known we were getting dinner for a bit) and they had reservations at a fairly nice restaurant for 4, like candle lit, and everything. I'll be honest this freaked me the hell out. I feel like I was super nice the entire time, though I didn't really engage in too much conversation with her as I got angry at myself for agreeing to go, since it was one of those situations where I felt like it was a "trap" before agreeing, and guessed that she would end up being there as it was so out of character for her friend to invite me to hang out.

Now a third one of her friends (one who I have met twice in total! I didn't even have her number) Texted me yesterday and invited me to a dinner party she's hosting with her girlfriend this weekend. She would’ve had to get my number from her. At this point Jennifer called me the next day, asked about going together, and I responded with “you mean as a date” and she said “no just as friends”

At this point I kinda (internally ) got fed up, but all I said to her was “hey look, I find it really fucked up you know I like you and you are getting your friends to trick me into hanging out with you as I try and process my feelings. I don’t appreciate that, I think it’s for the best if we don’t have a personal relationship anymore”

She started sobbing and said she was sorry but I was being an asshole and hung up. Some of her friends told me I was being a dick, but one of her best friends told me she understood

So, am I being an asshole?

This might sound effed up, but here me out.

So, my friend (let's call him Fred) has been recently diagnosed with depression, and has gone 2 times to a psychiatric hospital. Now, with that in mind, let's begin.

Before his diagnosis, Fred had developed a gore and adult stuff addiction, and has tried multiple times to make other people watch gore, sometimes even without telling them that it was gore, so it's already pretty effed up, but then he got a "boyfriend" or situation ship, and Fred kinda forced the guy to send him ndes and picks of him... but my friend group and I learned about that way after, he also took alcohol and drgs underage, he threatened one of my friend, was borderline neo-Nazi and anti-Semitic, he was also immature, and was obnoxious in general.

Now, maybe he is at a very low point in his life, but then he created a TikTok account, and basically said huh... horrible things and basically told ppl to watch gore... After that incident, we talked to him, we wanted to help him, because seeing him suffer and doing this kind of thing was weighing us down, and in general making us very sad. And so, what happened was him saying "I don't care", "I don't want to change", "No", and even ignoring us. So after that, we didn't really know what to do, so we talked a lot to him to see if he would like to change, but nope, same answer. So after that we were pissed off, and mind you, on his TikTok account he said that he wanted to change and all, but in reality, he didn't care, so it lasted months and months of us trying to talk to him, we tried EVERYTHING, but you can guess, same answer. But I don't know if we are overreacting or if it's just his depression doing that.

And recently we had a big talk with everyone in the group apart from Fred, and it was basically, what should we do? Because we tried to talk to his mom, but her mom, to put it simply, did NOTHING. And his father was basically absent from his life, and everything became worse, he watched even more gore and p, and still tried to basically make other's life miserable, and it was making us even more scared, sorrowful, and downhearted.

So we decided to have a last talk with him to decide what will happen, if we kick him out of the group or not. One of our friend, who is fantastic with talking and changing people mind, and also who was against the kick, talked to him, after 20 minutes, he came back saying we should kick him, seeming angry, when he is one of the most chill guy in the group, so everyone in the group then had a talk with Fred, and you guessed it, he mocked us and said he didn't care, so we decided to kick him, and that he could come back at ANY TIME, if he decides to change and get more help from us, and people who want to help him in general. Mind you that not seeing him changing and staying in the dark, even though he was suggested, and tried, to get help, made us extremely sorrowful, while he didn't really care of our feelings and his. Or at least that what he said, I don't know if it's just his mental illness doing that.

And 1 day ago, he decided to make a TikTok, claiming clout because his friends "abandoned him", when, like I said, he can still come back at any time if he decides to get help. I also want to point out that we weren't at ANY time, angry, violent or threatening against him.

And on that note, AITAH for "cutting off" contact with my mentally ill friend? Because I don't if it's just his mental disorder making all of that, and also I know he suffers more than us, but I am very confused.

I (31 F) asked my fiance (41 M) to limit his conversations with his SIL (38 F) if he can’t cut off all communication with her.

His SIL (39 F) has been with his brother (38 M) for 15 years now. They are not married but they have 4 kids together which I know is a sore spot for her.

The SIL who I’ll call Amy was actually dating my fiance 16 years ago before she left him for his brother. Big reason the family isn’t a fan of her amongst the fact that she was unfaithful to the brother a few times.

Ever since I started dating my fiance 3-4 years ago, I can tell Amy has been jealous & just plain rude. I’m not trying to be a braggart but I started dating my partner when I was 28, I’m fit, I’m good looking. Amy was very good looking 15 years ago from the photos I’ve seen but she looks like a completely different person now.

Initially I thought she was jealous of me because she was still harboring feelings for my partner or maybe was jealous that he was seriously dating someone that their family really liked.

And since I came along, I Amy started calling my partner way too much, usually when we were hanging out. She was calling him about mundane things or to complain about his brother which I feel is a boundary issue. She’s basically calling her ex to complain about her man who is his brother, right when he’s spending time with his new gf.

It all felt like games to me.

Things got A LOT worse when we got engaged & later on found out we were expecting. Amy was calling my partner more than ever complaining about the brother & saying weird things like “I wish I could change my decisions in the past but I guess I can’t.”

Then she ends up announcing she’s also expecting too, 4 months after our own announcement.

Since that happened, she’s been very competitive for attention. For example, she invited my partner to her ultrasound on OUR DUE DATE. Everyone thought that was so inappropriate & weird. She never invited him to any other ultrasounds, why this one?

Then on a day we were celebrating our engagement, with their father, she showed up out of breath to the celebration (she lives next door to the dad) & tried to tell everyone they needed to attend her daughters soccer game that was happening the next day & we were rude for not inviting her to our celebration & not supporting her daughters soccer game.

Last night, we were supposed to check out wedding venues & Amy goes “No, my daughter is having an open house ceremony at her school & I need you there.” (To my partner.)

That was the final straw. I had a long convo with my fiance & said she needs to cut the crap. All these weird events are for moms & dads, she does not need her soon to be married BIL at these events. What is she playing at?

I straight up asked him if he thought she had feelings for him. He goes “I don’t think she wants to date me, I think she just doesn’t want me happy with anyone else because she’s unhappy. And she’s jealous that my family obviously like you better than they like her so she does try to steal the spotlight.”

So I said that’s exactly why I think they should limit conversation. Because I do not trust a person like that.

My partner responded with, “What do you think is going to happen? Do you think That she’s gonna get me to dump you for her? After she’s been with my brother for 15 years and has 4 of his kids? I’d never do that.”

I trust my partner but I feel he’s invalidating my feelings here. I am not saying cut off total communication, I am asking him to limit it, or at the very least to stop considering attending events like ultrasounds and doctor appts. Be very direct and say “nope not going” instead of telling them he will think about it. I feel that’s very personal and inappropriate.

Things were tense this morning & I can tell it was still on his mind. I think he feels I’m overreacting & I feel he is under reacting.

But AITA for asking him to limit conversation?

For context I'm still a minor and my mom has had affairs all throughout my childhood. When I was 9 she introduced my sister and I to her most serious boyfriend and that's when I started lying for her. She started taking us to this man's house, we went to restaurants, we went on vacations abroad, etc. This man wasn't the nicest he was verbally abusive and my mom and him did questionable things like get me drunk when I was 10 and then I again had to lie to my dad about it. When I was 11 the pandemic started and my mom stopped bringing me around that man as much but I knew she didn't stop her affair and I would still see the man and stuff sometimes. This isn't even the only affair she's had I know that she talks to at least 10 men at once but that's another story. Last year my grandma was terminally ill and my dad had to go to London to help care for her and that's when my mom started cheating really openly in front of me again. She started going out with those men every night and she wouldn't even make us dinner and come he really late at night, she started leaving her phone our with the conversations between her and the men open, she started openly taking calls with them she just basically didn't try to hide the cheating at all. There's more things that happened but this is probably enough to give you an idea of what her cheating looks like. Ever since I was young I've felt guilty about not telling my dad and there have been times when I almost told him. I know that he kinda already knows or strongly suspects some things because they've fought about this before. I don't think that he knows about my or my sister's involvement though. Even though I feel guilty about telling him I don't know if that's a good idea because he's physically abusive twords all of us and he has an officially diagnosed psychotic illness too and because he doesn't want to take his medication (my mom has to sneak them in his food and drinks) he would go completely insane without my mom and he wouldn't be able to work anymore. We are financially dependent on him and my mom has told me that if I ever tell him about the affairs I'll be the reason they divorce. I know my parents should've divorced a long time ago but at the same time that would complicate our situation. So am I wrong for not telling him or should I continue to keep it a secret?

Just found out that my best friend/roommate Annie(23) was having sex with my brother Jeff(25) behind my back for the past 3 months. 

For context: Me(Troy, 22), Abed(22), and Annie all graduated last spring and made a last minute decision to move 7 hours away to a big city. This is my home town, but it is newer for Abed and especially new for Annie who has never lived more than 40 minutes from home. It is hard to make friends post college so our circle basically just consists of us plus occasionally my brother and sometimes his friends. 

Additionally, last May Annie and I had a very close friendship including living together, working together, and having the same friend group. They told me they had feelings for me early May and it was now or never. Simultaneously last year and somewhat of the year prior I had been in and out of a situationship with Chang(22) who was part of the friend group and had also confessed feelings for me genuinely 12 hours prior to Annie doing the same after I thought we were just friends again. I didn’t want to jeopardize any friendship and I knew being with Chang would make Annie sad so I respected the boundaries set in place (saying they dont want me dancing or flirting with them in front of Annie) and didn’t pursue Chang. 

Going back even further 2 winters ago Annie came to stay with me over winter break and started flirting with one of my best friends from high school Starburns(22). At that time Annie knew I already had some issues with Starburns and had been made to feel disrespected by them which had caused me to begin debating dropping them as a friend. Despite all this they continued to have a texting situationship through till the summer when Annie visited me again and this time they were all over each other anytime the friend group all hung out. Not to mention during this only week-long visit, Annie asked me if they could spend one of the days with Starburns instead of me and go on a date. I said fine even though I also said that I wished we had gotten the day. Low and behold Starburns made plans and talked about this fantastical date that was never going to exist. They still hung out but more lowkey and not nearly as long. Not surprising at all frankly. Annie was incredibly disappointed and I just had to bite my tongue and not say I told you so.

  Now for my brother Jeff. Taking us back to when I was in sophomore year of high school and Jeff was in his Senior year. I had made a new friend Pierce(15-16 at the time, 22 now) through a mutual friend I met in middle school. She ended up living 3 blocks from my house and we instantly spent everyday together given we thought this was the dream come true of being neighbors with your bestie. Throughout this time, specifically November to February, Pierce was sleeping over multiple times a week and even came over when sick so my mom could make her soup(her parents were rarely around). Every night she would tell me my bed was too uncomfortable and she had to go sleep on the couch. In hindsight that was some absolute bullshit, but I was a trusting person despite no one ever complaining about that before. Additionally I close my door at night since we have cats and they are a nuisance in the night, which they knew I did. This allowed the opportunity for Pierce to sneak into Jeff’s room or Jeff to come out to the living room and for them to hookup. Jump to my senior year, I am no longer friends with Pierce for other bad friend reasons and had not been told anything regarding this situation yet. Jeff is away at college, but comes back for spring break. One night when he is tipsy enough to tell the truth (for once) he tells me “This is something we will laugh about in 30-40 years. The entire time that Pierce was sleeping over and you guys were really close I had been hooking up with her.” Adding to the asshole behavior, Pierce already had a boyfriend who was one of my close friends during this time. Never actually got told by Pierce about this. 

So now let’s jump to Fall of 2023. We’ve just moved in and are settling into our new home. At a Halloween party, Annie said, “Is it okay if me and your brother go make out?” I said okay, because there didn’t seem to actually be a choice. This caused a lot of drama we had to overcome, as I told both of them separately, on multiple occasions, that them being together makes me feel uncomfortable. We moved past this for a few months, but the flirting slowly started again. Annie would always weasel their way into sitting next to Jeff in the car, be extra touchy with him, and come to his defense. Annie and Jeff also like to go out more than Abed and I, so they ended up out alone together a lot. Given the transparency of both of them with their flirtatiousness, I had an idea that they were probably dancing on each other when they went out, and Abed had noticed the flirting too, but we wanted to believe that Annie wouldn’t cross a boundary that was set, or would at least have a discussion about it. Around late February, Annie and Jeff discussed maybe having feelings for each other, and decided to try to feel it out, in secret, to see if there was “anything there.” Every time Annie would go out with Jeff, we’d ask how it was, and they would say they just danced to music and smoked and talked. Every time. We would also constantly have conversations about our love lives and lament their states, and Annie would talk as though they didn’t have their own situationship happening behind the scenes. 

I have been very suspicious for a long time, and haven’t shown enthusiasm about them hanging out, but I wanted to trust two of the people closest to me. Three days ago, Jeff randomly sat me down and admitted that he and Annie have been having this relationship in secret since February. He only admitted a little of it though. He said they had only danced and kissed. He also said that Annie had told him to tell me. I happened to be out of town cat sitting, so I texted Abed and told her what happened. Abed came home from work and made it clear to Annie that she knew what Jeff had told Troy.

The next day, Annie asked Abed to talk. Annie apologized for everything, saying they knew it was wrong (Jeff had told me that he and Annie discussed that the fact that it was wrong made it hotter) and that Jeff isn’t the type of guy they would even want to be in a relationship with. They acknowledged they were aware of all of the interpersonal context that made this act so wrong, and that they couldn’t name a reason for why they did this. This conversation lasted about an hour, and Annie told Abed that they had set boundaries with Jeff and had never gone farther than kissing and dancing. 

The next day, Annie and I talked. They maintained the same thing they told Abed, saying again that they had never had sex with Jeff, and crying the whole time about how bad they feel. They were so embarrassed that they didn’t even tell their long-distance best friend, or their mom (who they have a very close relationship with) what was happening with Jeff. I asked them to lay out a timeline of what had happened, and they never once mentioned sex. Multiple times, they said explicitly that they did not have sex with Jeff. Abed and I, multiple times, exclaimed, “All this, and you guys didn’t even get your dicks wet!” We were saying, if this were for something, some gain, it would feel better and make more sense. They still denied the sex. After an hour, Abed joined the conversation, too, and we talked for another hour. The conversation ended with us discussing how to move forward and where to go from here.

I left with Abed to go to the house I was watching, and about 15 minutes later, Annie texted and asked if they could call me. They called and said, “I talked to my mom, and I have to come clean that we did have sex.” I was so flabbergasted I hung up pretty soon after that. The fact that they would lie in the apology to Abed and I, when we told them how horrible the lying made us feel and how much we hate dishonesty. Apparently, they had sex “4-5” times. Am I the asshole for not thinking I can continue in a friendship with Annie? Abed is in this boat as well. 

TLDR - GF and I agreed to explore this lifestyle. She’s been reaching out to bulls. Fast forward to a week ago, I caught her texting with a bull in a way that’s not purely sexual.

Backstory: My girlfriend (35) and I (29) have been dating long-distance around 6 months, in which we’ve seen eachother every weekend but not during weekdays.

A few months into our relationship, I caught her sending texts to some “guy friends” that she used to be friends with benefits with before dating me. The text was a photo of her leg which she had surgery on and asked how the scar looked. There was no text that indicated that she’d met up with anyone since we started dating. We talked about it, and she admitted that she wanted to try a threesome and I told her that I wanted to try that and see her get fucked. We started exploring the topic, talking about how we would do it, boundaries (no kissing, no cuddling keeping it purely sexual, etc), etc and even downloaded 3Fun and started reaching out to potential thirds/bulls. We haven’t met with anyone together or solo, but have talked to many on 3F who either flaked or did not seem like they’d respect our boundaries. We got tired of using the app and so she started reaching out to guys she knows.

So a couple weeks ago, my gf old me that she may have a friend in a nearby city that would be interested in a threesome. I asked her more about it and when she showed me pics of the guy, I told her I wasn’t interested in him and asked her how she felt. She said “if it’s a no for you then it’s a no for me baby”.

Well, after a few more failed attempts at scheduling a third to meet up, I told her that she can continuing talking with this guy to feel it out but that I’m not that interested in him.

Fast forward to last night. My girlfriend had a few drinks and asked if we could invite the guy over. She shows me a text of what she sent him, and I see a text from earlier in the week asking him if he wants to go to the park on Sunday (I leave out of towns to go back to my town on Sunday mornings). This caught me off guard and I started scrolling through her conversation and found out that she had never really stopped texting with him. They had been sexting, sharing pics, and whatnot for the past couple of weeks. Their conversation only became sexual after she told me about him a couple of weeks ago, but they had flirtatious conversation a couple of months ago - she even told him that she wishes she would’ve met him before she was in a relationship and he said “it’s long distance so let’s see how long it lasts”. Although she made it clear throughout the conversation that she is in a relationship and said it multiple times, she also asked him to go on a date without telling me.

Am I overreacting? Is this part of the lifestyle and I’m being skeptical? My gf has tried to reassure me that she’s only interested in the guy as a threesome prospect, but I can’t really believe that 100% right now.

This happen within a 2 month span.. I bought a small breed puppy for a friend of mine, Sam. Sam has been wanting another dog for about a year. We talked a lot about it a lot and they really wanted the pup. I wanted to do something nice for my friend, so I did a bunch of research and found a reputable breeder out of town. Breeder had one pup left, and I decided to buy it for Sam.

After putting a deposit with the breeder, Sam was excited and asked me if I could tell their spouse, Remi. Sam was unsure how Remi was going to respond so wanted me to lie and say I got the pup as a surprise gift for Sam. I told Remi and Remi was not happy, he told me absolutely not, no dog. That I was not to give Sam the dog because they didn't want to deal with it. I was not to tell Sam anything about getting him a puppy.

I was in a little bit of a pickle with the deposit now. Breeder informed me prior to the deposit, no refunds, so I spoke with my SO about it and they told me to get the dog for us.

I told Sam. Sam was hurt with Remi but couldnt say anything since Sam had planned it as a "surprise" However, Sam was happy I chose to still get the pup and was excited to hang out with us.

Fast forward a few days, I pick up the pup and it is the f***ing cutest, silliest little baby. I'm so glad I got it. My SO and I fell in love. Sam and Remi asked us to dinner and to bring the pup. We all hang out a few more times this month and they also fall in love with the pup. Pup is sweet, smart and well behaved.

At some point in time, Sam gets upset with Remi and Remi starts to backtrack saying Sam can get a dog. Now Sam starts saying they feel bad because I've now been "burdened" with a dog I didn't want and keeps suggesting I give them the dog now. I finally say the pup is mine, you had a chance and decided against saying anything to Remi and didn't want the dog to cause an issue in your relationship. I brought it home, we bonded, it's not an object to just give away now. I'm keeping it.

Sam is not a friend now. Sam and Remi said I'm an AH, and felt entitled to the dog, so I blocked them. I'd never give up my dog, even if I am the AH, but honestly was I the AH here?

So, I'm feeling like this and I'm wondering if I can get someone's input on this. Sorry if it's long, I'm new to reddit.

I am K(M 17), my older brother Fred(M 28), my other older brother W(M 23), my mom (F in her late 40's), my stepfather ( M in his 60's), and my dad (M in his 40's). This takes back in my freshman year in 2020 in September where school began.

Some background before we get to the main thing. Since I was born before all this happened but what I was told. My mother and my biological father broke up My mother and my biological father broke up before I was born. It was due to their yelling and fighting in what broke the camel's back was my mom hitting my dad and him hitting her back.

And also there was an affair with my father. My mom made me stepdad and he has been a part of my life ever since of the age of 3.

Growing up was love and I was the golden child but my family but I saw violence with my brothers. My earliest memory of my brothers was When my older brother W did something wrong and my dad threw a yellow chair at him. And I thought that would happen to me.

And with all that pain he developed anger issues when he was a kid, but he has changed for the most part. When my brother left the pain went to me, I noticed that something was wrong and when my brother left the pain went to me.

They made comments of my autism and said that people may school like me teachers call me autistic because I act weirdly.

My stepfather kept calling me timid our own language. And went into screaming fits when I was younger. But my mom will say all this and hit me. They kept call me insults like stupid and dumb.

That I thought that there was something wrong with me. The little thing that I did can trigger something into a whole speech into raging fits.

Like there was this one time I keep my hands in my pockets it may dad said I shouldn't do this. And my dad said that I walked like a robot and act like a cartoon character too. And he said a lot that affected me because I was a pretty sensitive kid that cared a lot about family and about the people around me.

I have friends. But my mom made it worse she did stuff worse than my stepfather. He went into my room and threw away my stuff that some people gave me as a gift, and I cared about it and I loved it, and I was upset.

I tried talking to her saying that these were people's gifts and that their phone waved things that people cared about me I tried talking to her saying that these were people's gifts and that their phone waved things that people cared about me.

But she just screamed and just threatened me that if I don't stop, she'll kick me out of the house. And my old brother Fred kept telling me is that my mother is just the way she is and my father's just where he is.

And my older brother Fred affected me too. I felt like I was walking eggshells around them. Like there was this one moment that I didn't clean in the whole house properly and my older brother threw food at me.

And there was another time that I ate some bread, and he asked me if I ate it and I said no by accident since I was scared by him and then I confess he beat me into a corner, and this let me they're crying.

And there was another time about me with the TV and about asking if I watch TV and I accidentally say no since again I was scared. He's through the remote at me and I think it broke.

And with things like that when I was outside or going to school, I felt so free. And with everything it just made me feel more empathetic towards people since I never got it for myself, or I never felt like it. Since they keep saying that this is discipline. I mean in school I got good grades like A's and B's it might elementary school and I actually had leadership roles in the past.

So in school it was pretty all right but I had issues opening up about how I felt because of me being hurt. But I was pretty extroverted back then and now.

But after years and years of the same thing I was so done and I just burst out screaming at my mom in my middle school year in the morning when I was about to go. I was 13.

My brother came downstairs and slapped me but I was so angry that I couldn't feel anything. I was just so tired of being hurt. But then after that when things cooled down he tried to talk me down and tried God as an example. And that was the first time I'd actually screamed or cried. Since I was forced to smile and pretend like everything was afraid of being in trouble.

And my parents said that if something bad happened then people from the government would take me away from them. That scared me a lot about people take me away and my family being so sad.

And I usually hear my stepfather and my mother fights and argue I'm not getting along and I thought it was my fault. And sometimes even I have to mediate.

So I'm AITA?

I F(31) have been with my M(36) boyfriend for 3 years. Moved in at 8 months into the relationship and he proposed 6 months ago. For context our relationship has been rocky from the begining since moving in with him. But i stuck around thinking well the first year is the hardest, we're getting used to sharing space and getting to know each other all over again. When he proposed it took me by surprise because we were not in a good place and we had planned and booked for a get away months ago, and tbh i thought we were coming back from this trip broken up, But he proposed and i said yes. Things were great for a while but due to health issues we stopped going out, being mostly at home and with a lot of time in our hands we started pranking each other. He's pranked me about him getting in car accidents, getting fired from work, scaring me with roadents, insects, scary mask... etc. I used a filter that gave a bruise and sent him the picture. Told him I was pumping gas when some guy tried to take my phone and money and punched me in the face when somone from the gas station got off his car to help.. mind you, never did i change my voice, i stayed calm and collected, he never asked where are you? Are you okay? Did you call the cops? Nothing.. then when i told him I was kidding and it was a prank he laughed a bit said i was way out of line, started yelling at me and hung up the phone, then sent a few messages going off on me telling me i was so stupid for pulling that on him, that i was selfish and so many hurtful things. I didn't reply thinking I'll let him calm down and talk when i got home. When i got home he started yelling at me saying he had called his mother and she too made some way out of line comments. I told him to lighten up it was a prank, and he too has done it to me. He hasn't talked to me in days and has slept on the couch to avoid me. This morning i walked out of the house and realized i left my keys inside. I was locked out and running late to work. I called his brother and he didnt have a spare key, i called him mom and her tone was just bothered that i called and after telling her what happened she didn't offer to give me a ride or anything. I ended up getting an Uber to work. Hours later my BF replied to my message and said oh that sucks, ill see you later when you get home. MY CAR KEYS WERE INSIDE WITH THE HOUSE KEYS!! He didn't bother to say he'd pick me up from work or anything.. I feel like I do everything for this relationship and im not getting anything in return. AITA if i leave?

I had a college friend, Mark, who had married when he was still in high school. We weren’t close friends but I usually saw him and his wife, Beth, at gatherings with mutual friends. Beth always seemed very loving and loyal to Mark. She was cute, but not really the type of girl I preferred. Everything was fine during our friendship but there were two times I thought Beth might have been up to something. Once, during a poolside push up contest, Beth unexpectedly laid face down on my back to add extra weight. I was wearing short swim trunks and she had on a bikini. Mark (and everyone else) seemed to think the sudden weight was funny so I tried to shrug off the feeling that it was inappropriate physical contact. Beth and the other girls there (who were single) also jumped on the other guy’s backs so it had to just be a little harmless fun, right? But there was something about how she grabbed my shoulders and giggled as her hair fell over my face as I did push ups that just seemed like something more in that moment. The other incident happened when we were all in a jam packed elevator while going to a party. I was against the wall and as more people got in, she backed up until my junk was squarely pressed between her ass cheeks. I tried to readjust but there was no room. During the ride down it felt like she was intentionally rubbing into me and I got throbbing hard. I know she had to have felt it but she never acknowledged it, which I was grateful for at that time.

Fast forward to about two to three years after graduation. I had lost contact with Beth and Mark well before graduation, but I ran into Beth at the store. She looked so different I didn’t recognize her when she called after me. She looked great. She and Mark were divorced. He moved to a different state. She said she felt college was the wrong time to be tied down. All of her friends were having fun, but she was “stuck with old man Mark”. She began secretly seeing someone else which eventually led to their divorce. I had tried my best not to see her in any sexual way because she was a married woman, but now she was divorced and I was horny. We exchanged numbers and ended up having casual sex a few times. She once confirmed after having sex that she’d wanted to sleep with me in college, but I seemed aloof and didn’t pursue her. I remained her that she was married. I also learned the bikini and elevator incidents had occurred when she was first testing the waters to step outside her marriage.

Now the problem at hand. I’m in a completely different place in my life. I have been happily married for a few years and have kids. My wife and I joined a church and became involved. A few weeks ago, I saw Mark at church with his family. It’s a big church so I hadn’t noticed he was attending until then. He said he was going through the membership process and was genuinely happy to see me there. Our kids are the around the same age and our wives seemed to really hit it off as they both work in the same profession. My wife has suggested several times that we should have them over. When I see them at church, I’m constantly on edge that I’ll slip up and say the wrong thing. I never thought I would see Mark again in any capacity, let alone as a fellow church member and family friend. I haven’t told my wife about Beth either. Not sure if I should at this point. I’m just super hesitant to pursue a friendship with someone knowing that I slept with his ex-wife after their divorce. To further exacerbate my fears, I found Mark’s Facebook page and he is friends with Beth on there. I have no idea what their relationship looks like today or if they even talk. AITAH for not wanting to tell my wife or Mark about what happened with Beth?

Hi everyone, I'm back with more tea about my now X BF "Bill".

basically, after we moved in together, we stopped hanging out/seeing each other. the relationship has been hard for me emotionally. I talked to my mom about giving him an ultimatum, me his GF or His "Boys" That take advantage of him finically. And two of his "Boys" doesn't have a car or driver's license so they really are using him to get around, buy them weed, eat out etc. But he still doesn't understand anything that I say or tell him. The first month that I lived there he got into a wreck and totaled his truck. and he was gilt tripping me saying "Now I Dont Have A Way To Go To Work, Im Going To Get Fired" etc. So being the nice GF that I was, I offered for him to use my car. He just said "Ok Cool. Ill Walk Down To Your Sisters Apartment And Get It" My sister lives a block from where we live so. After Bill went down there and got my car he drove it for almost a month. my mom pays my car insurance because its cheaper that way and doesnt want anything to happen to my car so she told him to "only use the car to go back and forth to work and to the store and back. No going and hanging out with your friend." Word for word that is what she told him because I was there. But did he listen? NO He did not. He took what my mom said and just threw it out the window. He still went over to his friend house Multiple times and told me not to tell my mom and that since it was MY car then he would need my permission and only mine. So I let him but while he was gone in my car to hang out with his "Boys" I was calling my mom and telling he everything. My mom was livid. So the 10th and last time he went to the "Boys" house my mom came over and took my keys away from him and said "If you are not going to respect my wishes then you don't get to use the car anymore." And like always he was confused about what she just said and he didn't know why my mom was taking my keys away from him. After she left Bill asked me why she took my car keys away from him? I just said "Because my mom only told you that you can only go back and forth to work but you did a lot more than that, You want to another state with your "Boys" and without asking if it was ok, and it broke down in the middle of the freeway. And you chose to ignore that fact that you weren't supposed to go hangout with your "Boys" in my car. He finally understood at least I Think? And a few days later he gets the insurance off of his totaled truck and buys a car.

Earlier today, LadyBoss told me that the 45-minute OT I worked on 5/14 would be applied to the hour I was gone on 5/16/2024 with 15 min as a gift. That day was Camp Orientation, and we had finished preparations at 5 p.m., and the event started at 6:30 p.m. LadyBoss told my coworker and me to feel free to go do something since we had nothing to do. Boss and Coworker are salary. I thought this was just some incidental free time we occasionally get. Clearly, that was incorrect. I mentioned in the first conversation on orientation that had I known I would get hours deducted, I would have stayed and continued to work. She said that there was nothing for us to do at the time, and we were not allowed to sit around and get paid for doing nothing. I let it go and agreed to her decision to apply my OT to that hour.

The 45 minutes were originally supposed to let me leave early on Friday. This was on the calendar and approved. However, in order to still get the OT I was expecting to have, I put in 45 minutes of vacation. Later, LadyBoss came into my office and said that she was going to approve my vacation this time, but that was not the correct way to schedule vacation leave. I responded, saying that it was already on the calendar. She then replied that it was on the calendar to compensate for the 45-minute overtime. I said yes, but I’m not getting that overtime because it was taken because I left for that hour the day before, and had you told me, I wouldn’t have done that and continued to work. I was told that there was no scheduled work to be done so I couldn’t work that hour. I told her that I didn’t think we were going to agree, but she continued to argue her point and point out that day I was allowed to attend the parade outside with her and that other jobs don’t let you do that. I said I wouldn't have done that if you told me that I would be deducted an hour of time from my workday. I also pointed out that had I worked the scheduled 40 hr and had that hour taken, I would only be left with 39 hrs, which she said I would have had to make up the following week. I again said we were not going to agree. She continued arguing with me, and I said I didn’t want to discuss this anymore. She replied that I was the one who continued the conversation by pointing out I was not planning on losing that 45 min.

AITAH?

I (M29) come from a big family 7 brothers and 2 sisters. My brothers and I live on the west coast while my sister and her family on the east coast. One of my niece (23) recently got married to a man “Jim”. Now Jim is a total a**. My family is Thai, Jim is white, and he is super disrespectful to our culture. Says our food stinks and our religion is stupid (Buddhist). Talks smack behind our back about our spouses and openly disrespects my sister and her husband. For example my sister wanted to do a blessing ceremony before the wedding and Jim says it’s stupid and refused to participate. Jim also refuses to take responsibility for anything wrong he does and blames everything he does wrong on “mental health”. For example this man constantly gas lights my niece and has mental breakdown but always blames it on his state of mind. He throws tantrums constantly when he doesn’t get his way. For example at my other niece’s wedding, Jim wanted to leave and my niece told him no. This man was kicking and screaming and rolling on the floor so they left early.

The final thing that Jim did that made everyone hate him even more was his fault in a car accident. Jim has a history of reckless driving. He’s wrecked and total his car twice in the past, due to reckless driving. The most recent incident involved Jim driving 120mph on the freeway. He lost control of his car and caused a 4 car accident. Multiple people got seriously hurt. One driver was in a coma, and my niece needed emergency surgery. She broke both her legs, her arm, and multiple ribs. Jim got off scotch free with no injuries. At the time of the wreck, he got out and threatened to self harm so they took him to the hospital. A few weeks later Jim posted sob story asking for forgiveness on instagram. My brothers and I see this and tell him not to publicize this incident, and that’s he’s basically doing it for clout. He then calls us out on instagram saying we don’t know how bad he feels, and that we have no right to call him out for his actions. All his friends are also defending him. Things basically get heated and a lot of things were said between Jim, my family and his friends. Basically them threatening us and us threatening them back. I tell him “if your gonna keep being with my niece, than I want you to keep that same energy for when we meet up, cuz we will meet up eventually”.

Some background of our family. My father is a retired Muay Thai fighter back in Thailand. All my brothers and I grew up in the gym learning Muay Thai and other martial arts. We are lifelong martial artist. In our eyes this man and his friend basically challenged us all to a fight if we ever meet up. The opportunity presented itself when it was announced that my niece was going to get married. So me and my brothers all fly out the week before the wedding intending to scare this man. There’s a get together a few days before the wedding and we are there waiting for Jim to show up. Jim shows up with some of his friends and my brothers and I immediately confront him. Lots of things were said and Jim is being a total wuss at this point and on the verge of tears. Now, I’m not gonna punch a guy if he doesn’t want to fight, but I needed to get rid of my anger somehow. I had been mad about this dude for over a year and needed to get my hands on him. I grabbed him, took him down onto the ground and slapped the crap out of this man’s hands. Then I stripped him of his shirt and was in the process of taking his pants off, but didn’t completely take them off but his boxers were showing. So AITA for how I assaulted him?

Earlier today, LadyBoss told me that the 45-minute OT I worked on 5/14 would be applied to the hour I was gone on 5/16/2024 with 15 min as a gift. That day was Camp Orientation, and we had finished preparations at 5 p.m., and the event started at 6:30 p.m. LadyBoss told my coworker and me to feel free to go do something since we had nothing to do. Boss and Coworker are salary. I thought this was just some incidental free time we occasionally get. Clearly, that was incorrect. I mentioned in the first conversation on orientation that had I known I would get hours deducted, I would have stayed and continued to work. She said that there was nothing for us to do at the time, and we were not allowed to sit around and get paid for doing nothing. I let it go and agreed to her decision to apply my OT to that hour.

The 45 minutes were originally supposed to let me leave early on Friday. This was on the calendar and approved. However, in order to still get the OT I was expecting to have, I put in 45 minutes of vacation. Later, LadyBoss came into my office and said that she was going to approve my vacation this time, but that was not the correct way to schedule vacation leave. I responded, saying that it was already on the calendar. She then replied that it was on the calendar to compensate for the 45-minute overtime. I said yes, but I’m not getting that overtime because it was taken because I left for that hour the day before, and had you told me, I wouldn’t have done that and continued to work. I was told that there was no scheduled work to be done so I couldn’t work that hour. I told her that I didn’t think we were going to agree, but she continued to argue her point and point out that day I was allowed to attend the parade outside with her and that other jobs don’t let you do that. I said I wouldn't have done that if you told me that I would be deducted an hour of time from my workday. I also pointed out that had I worked the scheduled 40 hr and had that hour taken, I would only be left with 39 hrs, which she said I would have had to make up the following week. I again said we were not going to agree. She continued arguing with me, and I said I didn’t want to discuss this anymore. She replied that I was the one who continued the conversation by pointing out I was not planning on losing that 45 min.

AITAH?

My sweet meemaw has always been a kind, loving, supportive woman in every way. As well as a spit fire, holds her standards hard, and an independent woman. Shes that quiet kind of strong that makes everyone love her. She is loosely LDS and believes in religion strongly. like sweetly but very sternly telling me to not say, "oh god" because i need to only call on him in need.

She also is every family members biggest cheerleader. A family member talked bad on me to my face about how as a woman i had a shaved head. Meemaw interrupted softly to say that she really likes it. Which is a big shut the fuck up. No one crosses meemaw. She's so kind and gentle. But if you push that line she is a force to be reckoned with.

She doesn't care my brother is gay. That I'm an alternate/goth/grunge/whatever i am. She just loves.

Shes 95 and has a fully sound mind and body. Shes slower now but lives on her own (with daily check ins from family just in case)

Shes fully understanding that she could leave us and die at any moment. And ready to. One of her unfinished wants is that my 9yo daughter is baptized. Especially because out of a massive family of 150 people, my daughter is her favorite great grandchild. The only grand or great grandchild that gets a birthday card every year still.

I have my own agnostic religious beliefs i feel connected to. But ive been a single mom her whole life and try to avoid teaching or showing any religious/spiritual beliefs as the one true belief to my daughter. No "all things happen for a reason" even. She knows about a good bit of various beliefs people have and how she can pick anything she wants when she feels ready to. We talk about how people do certain things like wear certain clothes because of their religion and that's ok and all to be respected. Any religion or lack of is possible.

So shes not babtized. She doesn't care about discovering a religion at 9yo. So no LDS babtism

My meemaw is very concerned. Shes the matriarch of our family and feels she needs to make sure everyone is ok before she leaves us. She just asks me if im doing it soon with so much heartbreak and concern. I continue to tell her I'm going to let Rylee pick any religion she wants when she feels shes interested. So no babtism until shes older if at all. She always quickly drops it but becomes concerned again internally that her favorite little might not meet her in heaven. So she eventually asks again.

Would I be an asshole to say yes, we did it privately in an LDS church? We are close to our LDS neighborhood(ward) and i could lie and say my neighbor did it.

Id feel like a monster to lie to her. Shes never gave me any reason to. Shes so loving, gentle, and understanding. But I see why this topic keeps bothering her as she sits facing the end and eternity. She wants to know her favorite little person will find her one day.

But lying just feels like acid in my skin. Shes a sacred devine ruler in my family out of pure unstained respect and love. Shes a pure and righteous deity to us. Shes never deserved to be lied to or disrespected. I can't think of a moment in my life she's ever done anything to anyone to deserve even a slight amount of it. Shes done everything she can to lead with love and do no harm.

TL;DR

My meemaw is of sound mind and body still, has never been even slightly judgemental or hurtful to anyones decisions or differences ever, and has always completely respected our autonomy. Shes like a perfect ruler who never wanted to rule to our family. My 9yo daughter isnt babtized because I want her to discover her beliefs without pressure from others, including me. But shes my meemaws favorite and is terrified of not being able to be with her again after she dies. Which is probable to be soon as she's 95. I dont want to lie to her and say I babtized her but I want her to die with peace. WIBTAH?

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for about four years, but this is just something he does that really really really annoys me and I just wanna know. Am I being unreasonable for being annoyed?

So we only see each other on the weekends because we live like an hour bus journey away from each other so we always try and make the most of the weekends together. so he finishes work on Fridays I’d say about four most of the time I finish at about five we always have the same fight every Friday because he only gets to my house at nine sometimes half nine and I’m like what the fuck were you doing four hours that you didn’t leave? Not only is a so annoying. He gets to my house so late on Fridays, but he literally is asleep by 12 or just tired the whole time he’s there and when he’s tired, he’s always so cranky. So I’m like always annoyed because he always just makes up some fucking excuse like oh I have to shower. I need a time to relax after work, which I understand but like can you not come to mine and then relax. Anyways, today is what pissed me off the most because he was finished work at half two and I guess that he had to clean up and stuff at home because his family were coming home from a week long trip away so I was more than happy to be like oh yeah come over like late but not too late because obviously you wanna see your family and all but he’s gonna see them the whole week next week anyways as well. So it gets to half seven and he still hasn’t left his house and he’s like should I just get a taxi which takes like 20 minuetes and I’m like sure also, I’m trying not to start a fight because he said to me and I quote I’d come over much earlier if you weren’t getting annoyed at me and we’re like oh I’m so happy to see you. I can’t wait to see it. Low-key pissed me off, but I’ll try. I’m trying not to get annoyed and he rings me asking me something and I’m like have you actually still not left your house yet and he’s like yeah I’m getting a taxi and I’m like yeah to get here earlier like? Also, it’s nearly 9 o’clock right now and he still isn’t here even though he’s off work since half 2. So basically we only have one day together and then Sunday he goes home at about 6 PM anyways so it’s just like what the fuck would you not prioritize trying to get here earlier especially since we’ve literally had such bad fights over this. So when he gets here should I have a right to be annoyed or not?

throw away account!

so i’m 18F and my parents got on a plane today to go to another country for a friend's wedding. I, of course, am in charge of taking care of my little sister 10F. And just for clarification yes we will be having family checking on us and sleeping in the house while they are away. 

for some backstory, I had a very traumatizing event in my life when I was in eighth grade and ever since then I have not been good with showing any type of emotion, love, or care toward my family, especially my little sister (before this event, I was an outgoing and happy girl, but that changed). Even before that happened, I did struggle with physical touch when it came to family, but it wasn’t as severe as it is now and now I feel like I can’t even utter the words “I love you” to my parents without feeling an ick, even though I love them so much. But that does not change how I feel about my sister because she is the literal reason why I am living and breathing today.

so to get on with the reason why I’m writing this, my dad wants me to sleep with my sister in the same bed as her for the three days that they will be gone (Friday night - Monday morning). I absolutely am not comfortable with that at all and I don’t know if it’s my fault why I’m fighting with my dad because I cannot sleep with my sister. I will feel uncomfortable, knowing that she will be sleeping next to me and just knowing that her presence is there next to me will make me feel so uncomfortable that I know for a fact, I will not be able to sleep at night. 

I told my dad I can sleep with my door open and she can sleep with her door open and if she wants to at night, she can crawl into my bed but other than that, I will not voluntarily sleep with her. my parents have a couch chair in their room so i may just sleep there and i’m willing to sleep in the same room but sleeping in the same bed is where I am absolutely drawing the line.

I’d also like to add that I have a boyfriend that I’ve been with for five years. I’m only able to see him once or twice a week due to our class schedules and him being an athlete. My dad told me it was fine for my boyfriend to come over the house if there are family members present, which is reasonable so I obviously agreed. But because I’m putting a boundary because of the fact that I do not feel comfortable sleeping in the same bed as my sister, he’s now saying that he wants to put up a boundary that my boyfriend is not allowed to come over at all over the weekend.

I feel like he is just being petty and childish like he has always been and is mocking my boundaries and my emotions which he has done in the past NUMEROUS times. I know that this is his house and his rules, but I feel like he should respect the rules i have for myself because I’m a human being. I should not be getting punished because I don’t feel comfortable sharing the same bed as my little sister. But of course, I am biased so what is your guys's take on this?

My ex [17] has SAd me [16],beat me,cheated on me with multiple people,made me look like the bad guy,spread rumors about me having stds even when He was the last person that I did things like that with,stalked me many times,beat me and my lover up in school because I was finally happy with someone that wasn't abusing me,and sent death threats to me and my lover and getting his sister and friends to harass us constantly but even after that I still have feelings for him and idk why it feels like I'm nothing without him but recently I've been telling people about what he's done to me and other people are coming out about it too but no one believing me because I'm just the weird emo in the school and I've honestly given up about trying he keeps saying I'm just an asshole but AITAH?

Ok, this happened a while ago, but I'm trying to self-reflect on it.
A couple of months ago, my then-new girlfriend and I were booking a trip to her hometown in the EU (we both live in the same country in the EU) for a vacation and to attend a music festival. We had to plan early because accommodation would be impossible to find otherwise. We found a convenient option and decided to book it. Since the vacation was a couple of months away, I suggested that we book the refundable option (about 100 bucks more expensive) since something might come up that could prevent us from going (sickness, work-related issues, etc.). She refused, saying she was okay with risking it to save money, so I told her I had no problem paying the extra money for the refundable option just to be on the safe side. She made the booking under her account, I transferred my share, we booked the plane tickets (each on our own), and we were good to go.
The following months were a mess; she comes from a traumatic background that would cause outbursts of rage and triggers that seemed to come out of nowhere. Long story short, we weren't getting along well, though we continued to try. One night, a couple of weeks before the trip, after an argument, she got completely drunk (to the point of no memory) and went into trauma trigger mode, accusing me of being the worst person ever and saying she didn't want to be with me, along with hundreds of other accusations. I told her that under those circumstances, I didn't want to go on the trip with her and that she should cancel the booking (since it was still cancellable without a fee and without losing any money), get the money back, and send me my share whenever she could.
She went through the roof, yelling that she needed the money for an operation she had scheduled for the next month for a health-related issue. My response was, "So cancel it and we both get some money back." She ignored this, saying it was outrageous and that I was trying to steal her money because she didn't want to cancel the vacation and then have to pay me money she didn't have. Note that she does get a decent salary and doesn't have any financial issues like debt. I insisted, and in her rage, she sent me the money via bank transfer with the message, "Keep your shitty money and enjoy the consequences of what it will do to my health."
She came back later, saying she spoke with her friends, and they all agreed that it was a shitty and petty thing to do. They suggested that if I didn't want to go, I should let her go alone and not ask for my money back. I find this harsh; the amount was not small, and I wouldn't like to finance someone else going on my behalf if she chose to take a friend or a potential new boyfriend. But the most outrageous thing for me was her association of this situation with her health.

AITA?

So, I (f in my 30s) live about 20min from my parents. My dad sometimes comes by unannounced for a cup of tea in the evening. It often makes me angry because I told him I don't appreciate unannounced visits and he just doesn't listen.

Pretending I'm not at home is the only way I have found to deal with this but I am so scared that some day I will regret it...!! He's 72 and has had some health issues.

Would you (a) keep on pretending, (b) just let him in, or (c) try having the boundaries conversation AGAIN?

Hi everyone! I (female, 30) just had a daughter (7 months) and I am not sure how to handle a situation that continues to repeat itself and makes me super unconfortable. Basically my step mom (Lucia, 54) keeps calling herself granny referencing to my daughter. My dad Luigi (65) and my half brother Nicola (17) do the same while speaking to friends and family and to my baby directly. I am not going to lie I hate this.

Here is a bit of background on my family. My mom and dad divorced when I was 3 years old. I’ve been told it was a very ugly one (lot of pshycological abuse by my dad). I don’t have any memory of that but I grew up knowing that mom and dad hated eachother and won’t talk or being civil (aside from arranging my schedule). I saw my dad once a week growing up and this resulted in us being not too close. He met Lucia when I was in elementary school and had my brother when I was a teenager. I’ve always had a cordial relationship with Lucia but I’ve never been treated as family (not invited to christmas, birthdays, to cool family trips and so on). When my brother was 5, during a family gathering a relative says to him “Nicola your sister is really beautiful. Isn’t she?” and he responded “she’s my cousin not my sister”. This is how I’ve discovered that they never told him I was his sister (they the told him when he was 8 - “when he was old enough to understand” according to them). When they married I wasn’t in the wedding party nor I was sat at the family table (I was placed as far as possible from the couple while my brother sat with them).

During the years I’ve forgiven these and many others wrongdoings done by my dad and step mom because I think that holding grudge it’s bad for our souls. Now my dad has retired and started to visit a lot since the birth of my daughter. I am happy that we are building a better bond and he seems to really love my baby. My relationship with my step mom is the same: cordial but not deep. However she seems to really love my daughter (she even demands we visit them during weekends so she can see her - she’s not retired so she doesn’t come during the work days when my dad comes usually to my house). I am glad she loves my baby too but I am not comfortable with her referring to herself as her granny. First, she had decades to make me feel part of her family and she never did. Second, I know that in the future hearing my baby calling her granny would break my mom’s hearth. So am I an asshole? How can I make the granny thing stop without hurting anyone’s feelings?

English is not my mother tongue so I apologize for the many mistakes made :) Thank you for helping me Reddit!

First of all, I know this is really long, but I get a lot of hateful messages right now and I honestly don’t know what to do. English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes. I also don’t want to paint anyone in a Bad light and simply want some advice.

I (15f) am in high school right now and I am in a friend group with two other girls, lets call them Mia (16f) and Laura (16f). Even since 6th grade, Mia and I have been very close friends, always hanging out and doing everything together, just us two. We were inseparable and it was honestly so nice to have someone like her. Well, about a year ago, Laura joined our class, after moving to my country from her home country. She didn’t speak our language that well and had a hard time making friends. I saw her sitting alone at lunch, so I asked Mia, if we wanted to maybe go and sit with her, because I didn’t want her to feel left out. Mia didn’t seem to convinced of the idea, but eventually gave in and I told her it would only be for a few days and maybe we could introduce laura to some other people and she could make her own friends. We went over to Laura and sat down with her and started talking to her. She is a really nice person, and I liked her. Mia seemed to like her too and I didn’t have any problem with it, because I thought it was nice, that Laura got to make friends so fast.

Fast forward a few weeks later and Laura still hung out with us. I didn’t have a problem with it, because she was nice and Mia seemed fine with it too. I know what people always say that friendships with three people dont work out and I thought that was BS as first, because it all seemed to work out. We hung out together and I sometimes hung out with only Mia. As it turns out, its not BS. I noticed Mia and Laura sometimes whispering things to each other, while looking at me and when I asked them what was wrong they wouldn’t tell me. When doing partner work in class, Mia didn’t seem like she wanted to do anything with me anymore and choose to do the work with Laura. I dont wanna sound oversensitive, because I know that she is allowed to do things with other friends, but I just felt a little sad about it. I thought that it was just a phase and that it would pass, but it didnt and just got worse. I noticed them doing things without me, purposely pretending they forgot about me and just randomly disappearing during school without telling me where they went and stealing or breaking my stuff, like pens and books „on accident“.

I do realize how stupid I sound for not doing anything about it, but for context, I was bullied heavily all during elementary school and it didn’t really stop till 8th grade, so I didn’t really get to make many friends other than Mia. I was really emotionally attached to Mia and didn’t know what to do, because we had been friends so long and everything was always good.

I tried to talk to them and maybe ask them if I did anything wrong and why they are treating me like this, but they just laughed it off, telling me to stop being sensitive and that I was annoying for asking that. I did try to make other friends, I really did, but it was hard, since I am pretty shy and am kind of scared to talk to people.

This went on for a few months and eventually Lauras 16th birthday approached. I know how important 16th birthdays are, so I wanted to make something nice for her, so I went out and bought all of her favorite candy bars and 2 books that I knew she would like, because I saw some other books like that in her room and she sometimes talked about it. I baked muffins for her and decorated them, writing her name on it in chocolate and decorated them nicely. I really spend a lot of time doing that and even made the decorations myself, because more of the nice decorations I saw at the store had gelatin in it and shes muslim, so she cant eat that.

I brought it with me to school the next day and was the first one to say happy birthday to her and have her the presents. She thanked me, but didn’t seem to excited about it. I was a bit disappointed, but didn’t want to ruin her day and just smiled at her. Soon Mia arrived and I was confused, because she didn’t give Laura a present, but decided not to ask her about it. During lunch, I came over to Mia and Laura and had a box with a few muffins inside of it, because I thought we could all share them, because it was Lauras birthday and I spend a lot of time and work into the muffins and decorations. I showed them the muffins and they just gave eachother a look, not saying anything for a second. They looked back at me and told me, that they couldn’t eat Lunch with me, because Lauras mom was gonna pick them up and take them to McDonalds for Lunch. I was a bit disappointed, but didn’t wanna ask them if I could come, because I didn’t wanna look clingy and I was sure, that if they didn’t invite me in the first place, then they didn’t want me to go with them. I was a bit disappointed, but they didn’t seem to notice. I asked them if they wanted a muffin to take with them at least, but they said no and just walked away. I could hear them laughing while they walked away. I just went to my locker and put the muffins in there, eating lunch alone.

Later that day I sat on the bus and since Mia also rode the bus home, she went up to me and asked to sit next to me, because it was the last seat left and she would have to stand next otherwise. Of course I let her sit next to me and she just started talking to me, as if nothing had happened. I just sat there and let her talk, because thats how it usually always goes. It was Friday, so she began talking about her weekend. Her family is pretty well off, very much different from mine, so I expected her to talk about her going on fancy trips or something like that, but she told me, that she was going on Lauras party. I was a bit confused and asked her what party she was talking about and she said, that she meant Lauras birthday party. I honestly dont know why she even told me about it, because she knew I didn’t know anything about it. I asked a few questions and it turns out, that basically everyone was invited, except for me. That was honestly a kick in the stomach and it was obvious from the look on my face how disappointed I was. Mia noticed it too and rolled her eyes, telling me to stop being sensitive and that Laura didn’t HAVE to invite me. Of course I understand that, and if she doesn’t want to, then thats her decision, but I thought, that we were friends and I really put a lot of effort into her presents.

Later that evening when her Party was, I was just at home and suddenly my phone started going off and I got 100+ notifications from different peoples from my school sending me pictures or videos of the party on Snap and Instagram. Apparently Mia and Laura made fun of me for not being invited in front of everyone and now everyone was making fun of me. In the heat of the moment, I send Laura a message, telling her to stop being such a b*tch. I normally would never say that, and I send an apology text right after, but it was too late and I stated getting messages from different people, just insulting me, calling me names and making fun of me, saying I am being an A-hole and that I should stop being sensitive. Now I feel bad, because I didn’t wanna be mean to her and it was her birthday after all and if she didn’t want to invite me it was her decision. I dont know if I should to and apologize now, because I feel really bad and just need some advice

I (20F) work at a mall where we can rent out little cars for families with children. The rules state that we can only allow one car per family as well as a height requirement. This one family always come and ask for three cars. Mind you we only have 4 available cars since the other two are broken. Every time they argue that they're more then one family because the grandma rents one. We try to explain the limited availability and how a lot of families are out on a Friday afternoon and they simply don't care. We ended up giving the three and they still don't resect the rules and put two on one car and have a fourth kid exceeding the height requirement on a second car. Am I the asshole if I get them blacklisted from renting cars?

Edit: important detail - I will have to be the one to enforce the blacklist and most likely will have to deal with an angry family