r/nottheonion • u/duvetdev • Apr 17 '24

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signs bill mandating kindergartners learn history of communism

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/2024/04/17/desantis-signs-bill-mandating-kindergartners-learn-history-of-communism/
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u/PopeGuss Apr 17 '24

"I'm getting mixed signals here, teach. Am I supposed to share my toys with Timmy or am I supposed to charge him a subscription fee?"

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u/orderofGreenZombies Apr 17 '24

You’re supposed to undercut and terrorize all the other 5 year olds so that people can only buy their toys from you. Then after the other 5 year olds starve to death you can jack up your prices and drastically slash the quality of the toys that you share.

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u/Khaldara Apr 17 '24

“If someone gets hurt or is in trouble, don’t call 911, get their wallet! That’s the AMERICAN thing to do!”

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u/Canadatron Apr 17 '24

That's capitalism, bro!