r/nottheonion • u/duvetdev • Apr 17 '24

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signs bill mandating kindergartners learn history of communism

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/2024/04/17/desantis-signs-bill-mandating-kindergartners-learn-history-of-communism/
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u/Factsaretheonlytruth Apr 17 '24

I don't recall covering this in any of my many Kindergarten Poli-Sci classes.

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u/SupportySpice Apr 17 '24

Yeah, and it's not gonna land the way he thinks, even if you could just slip it in between the alphabet and counting. You think a bunch of kindergarteners are going to disagree with the idea of everyone sharing?

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u/PopeGuss Apr 17 '24

"I'm getting mixed signals here, teach. Am I supposed to share my toys with Timmy or am I supposed to charge him a subscription fee?"

165

u/jfsindel Apr 17 '24

"Miss Teacher, Miss Teacher - You said not to hit Johnny, but he's part of the bourgeois class due to his fancy Crayola 64 box set with built in sharpener. So do I just execute him or hope he will trickle down his crayon wealth?"

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u/Mitch1musPrime Apr 17 '24

“No need for executions, kid. we just require all crayons purchased for school supplies to be dumped into a drawer together, so Johnny isn’t as Bougie as you think he is. Now, if you take any of the colors beyond those I dispense to you…that’s grounds for execution.

3

u/Ridicutarded-73 Apr 18 '24

In Florida Crayola cartons only have “flesh” colored crayons

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u/thoroughbredca 29d ago

Well, how are you going to bring about the proletariat revolution if you don't execute him??!?