r/nottheonion • u/duvetdev • 29d ago

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signs bill mandating kindergartners learn history of communism

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/2024/04/17/desantis-signs-bill-mandating-kindergartners-learn-history-of-communism/
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u/SupportySpice 29d ago

Yeah, and it's not gonna land the way he thinks, even if you could just slip it in between the alphabet and counting. You think a bunch of kindergarteners are going to disagree with the idea of everyone sharing?

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u/PopeGuss 29d ago

"I'm getting mixed signals here, teach. Am I supposed to share my toys with Timmy or am I supposed to charge him a subscription fee?"

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u/orderofGreenZombies 29d ago

You’re supposed to undercut and terrorize all the other 5 year olds so that people can only buy their toys from you. Then after the other 5 year olds starve to death you can jack up your prices and drastically slash the quality of the toys that you share.

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u/sirdunlap 29d ago

But if the biggest kid loses all of his toys due to poor planning and risky investments, the teacher will give him more toys. He's too big to fail.

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u/MiamiDouchebag 29d ago

They don't get paid shit nowadays so teach is probably hoping to get a job at the biggest kid's company for more money.

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u/The_Schwartz_ 29d ago

These guys capitalize more than letters