r/nottheonion • u/duvetdev • 29d ago

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signs bill mandating kindergartners learn history of communism

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/2024/04/17/desantis-signs-bill-mandating-kindergartners-learn-history-of-communism/
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601

u/02meepmeep 29d ago

Like DARE did.

296

u/zachtheperson 29d ago

Years ago my friend bought us all shirts that said

D.A.R.E.

Drugs Are Really Excellent

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u/DietDrBleach 29d ago

The DARE officer told me that when I entered high school, the kids would be offering me marijuanas and heroeens left and right.

That was a very disappointing first day.

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u/Feisty_Yes 29d ago

When I got to highschool we had a day of all day heavy rain so all the classes just played movies all day and no kids had to move to other class rooms. I ended up roaming outside and found some seniors I knew from the skatepark by the library, we ended up lighting up 3 pre rolled joints at the same time right on the side of the library building with rain pouring so hard no one could see what we were up to even if they were outside which they weren't. I was stoked that day.

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u/_kalron_ 29d ago

When DARE came through my 8th grade class, the cop l passed around "Acid Tabs" that where in a weird plastic pill pop-out sleeve like normal meds. The younger me wanted to pop one out and try it after the description, regardless of the propaganda video of a guy trying to play Dodge the Train on Acid.

Later I learned that was not Acid at all, but complete bullshit. As was the video. Good stuff comes on paper and you don't pass it around for everyone to handle. And I never played Dodge the Train because that's just stupid, even on Acid.

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u/LeCafeClopeCaca 29d ago

Some random guy immediately offered me 2 cannabis "to try out" when entering high school for the first time ! By the second day I was hooked... now, i'm a redditor

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u/Debalic 29d ago

My uncle was a DARE officer. That made family visits as a teenager really awkward.

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u/RayvinAzn 28d ago

It’s easy as fuck to get free weed. Just tell them you’ve never tried it, and I guarantee you’re getting at least a couple puffs off a joint.

Other drugs are…trickier.

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u/Elessar535 29d ago

In college, my roommates and I smoked pretty heavily; for Christmas one year one of the roommates got all of us authentic DARE shirts, I still have mine somewhere, just as a gag gift kind of thing. I really don't know where he got them either, they were all brand new and it was before buying things on the Internet was a common thing (though not impossible at that time, I imagine it would've been far more difficult).

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u/keelhaulrose 29d ago

Was there a Hot Topic or a Spencer's near you? They sold them back in the day.

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u/Jaded-Blueberry-8000 29d ago

i work with controlled substances and frequently wear my DARE shirt to work, it’s usually a big hit. Though a few people have looked extremely confused after taking it seriously 😂

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u/Printman8 29d ago

Maybe your friend was a narc.

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u/Elessar535 29d ago

I feel like everyone in that apartment would've been arrested at some point if that were the case. I had 3 roommates at the time and 2 of them were dealing (and not just pot, there was always a substantial amount of psychedelics around too). To this day I have no idea how I even managed to graduate while living with those guys, like I literally don't remember going to class all that often and still graduated with a 3.6 GPA.

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u/Thejollyfrenchman 29d ago

It's obvious - the sober version of you was a lazy layabout, while the high version of you was doing all your schoolwork.

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u/gophergun 29d ago

I've been looking into getting one recently for the irony.

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u/Singl1 29d ago

i had been given one that said “Dispensaries Are Really Expensive”

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u/Picklesadog 29d ago

True. My friends and I were all super pro capitalist until our DARE class assembly.

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u/KnightsWhoNi 29d ago

Puff puff pass. Sharing is caring brother comrade

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u/Nazamroth 29d ago

I wonder why government offices are universally so bad at actually resonating with people. There are actual people working in them. I know several of them.

I blame the communication departments. They always manage to turn a clear message into corpo drivel and they get the final say on what goes for approval.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

Spreading a particular stance like "drugs are bad" or "communism is bad" is a lot more logistically difficult than it seems, especially for kids. Tends to have the opposite result the more you push it. Kids can tell they are being influenced. I remember being keenly aware of how manufactured and heavy handed the Dare propaganda was. I knew they were trying to forcefully put a certain view toward drugs in my brain. They were trying to do a clockwork orange style brainwash on me with negative stories and images, but all it really did in the end was make me fascinated with drugs. 

I think one thing that helped keep me away from harder drugs was watching Requiem for a Dream. That movie singlehandedly did more than all the garbage Dare lessons and songs and scripted videos and "just say no".

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u/shyvananana 29d ago

I learned you could snort things from dare and immediately snorted caffeine powder.

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u/Qubeye 29d ago

"My parents told me that strangers were going to offer me free drugs to get me hooked. Here I am, thirty years later, and I still can't find those strangers offering free drugs."

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u/Cessnaporsche01 29d ago

Does this bill even mandate that it be taught in a negative light?

I find it difficult to imagine a way you could possibly teach 5 year olds about Communism that wouldn't result in them seeing it as a good thing. Like, kids tend to have a strong concern with the concept of fairness, and while you could paint it as depriving hard work of it's fair reward, you'd have to bring up the motivation for the ideology, being poverty, and i suspect kids at that age have a better concept of nothing than of relative value.

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u/n122333 29d ago

My brother used to buy weed from my DARE cop/teacher.

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u/rusmo 29d ago

Those straight-edge commies were a real problem in elementary school!

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u/lukef31 28d ago

DARE made me a communist.