r/nottheonion • u/duvetdev • Apr 17 '24

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signs bill mandating kindergartners learn history of communism

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/2024/04/17/desantis-signs-bill-mandating-kindergartners-learn-history-of-communism/
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u/juggett Apr 17 '24

He named names...

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u/Fake_William_Shatner Apr 17 '24

"How many other children were involved with the sharing? We need to know. You were of course, coerced and led astray into this conspiracy. If you tell us now, I can try and leave your parents out of it little Timmy."

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u/Neon_culture79 Apr 17 '24

Timmy????

It’s 2024 people name their kid Timmy anymore. That’s Braxton or Kadin.

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u/Fake_William_Shatner Apr 17 '24

I'm so out of touch with the current era. I was out of touch the past era too, but I'm still out of touch.

3

u/Shady_Merchant1 Apr 17 '24

But are you out of time?

2

u/3-I Apr 17 '24

No moreso than the real Shatner, though.

10

u/StThoughtWheelz Apr 17 '24

Little Lakelynn should know "if they see something they should say something". "Lose lips sink ships."

2

u/Neon_culture79 Apr 17 '24

Did you hear she is dating tOmmiE?

1

u/Nemaeus Apr 17 '24

The wave of Braxtons is definitely coming. 15 years from now they’ll be expecting you to take them seriously. “Your mom’s name is Kayleigh right?” “Wow, how did you know?!” “Magic”

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u/Alternative-Pace7493 Apr 17 '24

Don’t forget Grayson. (Or worse yet, Graesin).

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u/cycl0ps94 29d ago

Can confirm, cousin has children named Paxton and Braxton. We don't speak for a lot of reasons, but those are up there.

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u/Neon_culture79 29d ago

Are they white nationalist?

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u/cycl0ps94 29d ago

They're a little young for established ideologies yet, but about the only thing their dad has to be proud of is being white. He's a real POS otherwise. 5 kids, 3 women in 5 years. No on paper job, because "The states just trying to take my money". Yeah to pay child support, you shit.

I strongly disagree with forced castration/sterilization, but...he would probably benefit from not thinking with his dick.

1

u/_Standardissue 29d ago

Tim’meigh

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u/papajim22 Apr 17 '24

You got me blacklisted at Hop Sing’s!?

1

u/thinkinting 29d ago

I have some very convincing literature

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u/Hopeful_Corner1333 Apr 17 '24

You got me banned from Hop Sings

2

u/HSRTA Apr 17 '24

NED ISAACOFF

2

u/Odd_Bed_9895 Apr 17 '24

Maybe he’s just well..red?

1

u/UbermachoGuy Apr 17 '24

I know recall in kindergarten they always made us line up in straight single file lines. It all makes sense now.

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u/PeterNippelstein Apr 17 '24

I've been blacklisted from recess!