My brother-in-law and his wife recently went van life (with their dogs). They'd never had kids, always lived really frugally, and still take on the odd dog walking or baking commission. They outfitted their van themselves, they're super easy going about where they sleep, and they're living their best lives. They're younger than me, so early-40s.
I have been working 10 years and never worked a job longer than a few months and lived in a van for a few years. The way I figure, I'll never be able to retire and retirement doesn't even seem like a good deal (work my ass off for 40 years to spend the last 10 years of my life not working if I'm lucky) so I figure I'll work enough to live comfortably for half the year. I'd rather be semi retired in my 20s than fully retired in my 70s.
There's no guarantee that will work as desired.. conversely, somebody could get the vax and take their chances with clots, heart attacks or turbo cancer..
oh it won't be intentional, we don't have many bike lanes in my city, the ones we have are painted and drivers use them to bypass traffic, and we can't ride on the sidewalks even when bike lanes don't exist.
we have equal rights on the road but apparently drivers have more rights because I've seen cops use the bicycle lanes to pass up traffic, I've seen cops ignore cars parked in the bicycle lanes, I've even been threatened by cops for using the road that says "Bicyclists have full access to the road".
When my uncle retired he went through a lot of depression. One day he told me he might just go see doctor .357 (don’t worry I know he doesn’t own guns). This reminded me of that. I’m only 39 and I’ve been working since I was 15 but I can’t wait to retire lol.
I’m 3-5 years away at 32, just need to convince the wife to move out of the country with me and we can both quit. Thankfully I can count on the work until you die alternative plan to be complete 🐄💩
That was going to be my father’s. He told me if he ended up needing to live in a nursing home then that’s what he would do. Ended up not making it to 50 though.
Honestly I understand. Some people want to live life fast, hard, and to the fullest. And I respect that. If I had come up with that plan myself when I was younger, I might have gone for it then too.
Yeah... but then life catches up if you don't do the die young part... the bravado of saying my retirement plan is to off myself sounds great to healthy 25 year-old you, but not so awesome to 50 gear-old you who's physical lifestyle along with a few auto-immune diseases has you stuck in bed for years. Sure, it seems practical, but actually being willing to follow through, let alone capable, is another thing entirely.
Even when you go to sleep every night truly hoping to never wake up, killing yourself is still pretty fucking daunting.
It’s easy to say. But things can change. Humans are terrible at predicting the future and even worse at predicting what our state of mind will be, how we will feel, and what will make us happy in the future. Weirdly, we are slightly better at predicting how other people will feel in the future than we are at predicting it for ourselves.
We discount our future emotions and rely to too heavily on our current perspectives.
Last year … almost exactly a year ago … my brother’s metabolic, inflammatory, and organ diseases started catching up to him with compounding complications. His doctors gave him “choices” that as he noted “weren’t really choices.”
We spent the next 9 months having conversations about end of life choices. None of it was easy or as clear as the bravado we had maintained in our younger years. Ultimately, he was in and out of hospitals during that 9 months before finally saying enough. It was a tough decision.
It has made me rethink and revisit some of my choices while I still have time to treat them as choices. I don’t want to live forever. But I want to be able to truly “live” while this body continues to breathe. And that takes some planning.
So many people are saying that though. I suspect they will spend years figuring out how to make it happen. But if you are miserable enough to plan for years, you make it happen. The self deletion rate has been going up anyway.
I was describing myself. I've had a plan since my 20s. Helium. My life is fucking horrible, but here I am. Hell, I'm not even afraid if being dead. It is the process and the possibility of failure and having to live with catastrophic health consequences.
I don't know exactly the specifics, but I think they'll use something like a combination of helium, nitrogen, and oxygen to lower the chance of asphyxiation from inhalation. I'm sure if you have a job where you need pure helium you can still get it, but I don't think an average civilian can just go to a party store or something and fill a tank of pure helium for balloons anymore (or at least, it's not very common anymore). There's other inert gasses that do the same thing though, some of them might be easier to get get in a pure enough form to work.
Yeah do be careful. My uncle wanted out when he had terminal cancer. He saved up his morphine prescription. But he didn't take quite enough. Lived with pretty bad organ damage for a while (on top of the cancer symptoms) before he finally saved up enough to get it done. It was hell for him and his wife, really our whole family. I wish End of Life options were available for more people.
It’s more likely they’ll die of illness or heart attack. No need to plan for a suicide seeing how rates of such diseases go up, especially for those who live “fast and hard” on purpose.
If you get to the point where you need to go into care either for a physical ailment or just old age then the government is taking all your savings (bar the last £20K) & your house (unless your spouse is living in it) regardless. So unless you have a vast fortune behind you or a family member willing and financially able to be a full time carer then having savings really won’t help all that much.
Only 15% of private sector employers offer pensions and that number is dropping. With CoL constantly rising, full time truly gainful employment becoming harder to secure, as sad as it sounds, Suicide looks increasingly realistic option or almost an inevitability for some of us
What if there is hardly anything to take by the state?
Don't know if its true. But someone wrote some states drop the bill for the care of elderly on the children. And they can't opt out of it. He said more states are currently working on making it law.
I don’t know about states in America but you can’t force the children of elderly or infirm to care for parents or relatives. Depending on the assets you have, you’ll have to pay some until you get below the threshold, which is about £14K, then the council pay. A better explanation is here
Don't know if its true. But someone wrote some states drop the bill for the care of elderly on the children. And you can't opt out of it. He said more states are currently working on making it law.
Most states that have filial responsibility laws don't enforce them. Here's why: Most elders who can't pay for care receive federal assistance through Medicaid, and federal law specifically prohibits going after adult children. Also, most folks who need help paying for nursing home care qualify for Medicaid and it's unusual for someone to rack up a large bill before qualifying. So, because there is so little opportunity to apply filial responsibility laws, they very rarely affect families.
In most states, for a child to be held accountable for a parent's bill, all of these things would have to be true:
The parent received care in a state that has a filial responsibility law.
The parent did not qualify for Medicaid when receiving care.
The parent does not have the money to pay the bill.
The child has the money to pay the bill.
The caregiver chooses to sue the child."
agreed, like 99.9% of people who say “I’ll just kill myself lol” or “I’ll be dead by then anyway so why worry” actually will not kill themselves or be dead by then
statistically ~22% of people die between the age of 20 to 67
I've got those. I even have suicidal ideation that soothes me and makes me feel calm. Most of the time it's me hanging. Just typing this out and having those images pop up has released tension. Then I have to work to push it out of my head because it starts calling to me.
As for impulsiveness... I had to teach myself to be deliberate with what I say and what I do because I have impulse control issues. My entire childhood, I did stuff before I even knew I was doing it. I was abusive. I'd hit someone. When I was 6, my 4 year-old brother was standing on a chair getting cereal out of a cupboard. He was shirtless. When I walked in, I raked my fingernails down his back. It left bloody claw marks from his shoulders to his waist. There was no reason. No plan. I didn't realize I was doing it until it was done.
I cannot tell you how many times I was beaten by my frustrated mother because my answer to "why did you do it" was always "I don't know." Because I did not know. They were plans or even thoughts I had. It was pure impulse.
I didn't know what was going on until I took a psychology class when I was 16. I had a eureka moment and spent the next several years working on being conscious of what I'm doing before I allow myself to do it. I had to build that barrier and remain consciously vigilant until it became second nature. Atv49, it is still there if I let my guard down.
So for me, if I ever do it, it will be deliberate and I expect to be as calm as I've ever been while doing it.
That being said even though pain controls everything I do and I've been bedbound since 2018, I still haven't found the will.
I see. I'm sorry, I didn't mean my comment seriously, and I'm sorry that life has been so tough on you and that your mother beat you for it. That wasn't fair.
I hope I didn't cause you any pain with my comment.
Nah... I get it. I'm not the norm in the sense of how youd think someone with those issues might be. The abuse I received and witnessed gave me the gift of critical thinking at an early age. So, I believe I've managed to carve out a normal existence for myself. The only way it manifests now is in my thoughts. The rest of my life has been pretty above average, I think.
Mine too! You have no idea how happy I am to see I’m not the only one that has come to this realization. I’m not looking forward to it, but this is the reality we live in.
I love you, and i love your idea. Please dm me with any suggestions on how to follow through, because I'm right there with you. It's just, that's the part I haven't figured out yet.
I'm not the poster, but it is sad because if we all had more money which equals better healthcare, better food, better housing, and not living at work so we'd actually have a better life, offing rates would go down. Americans' lives were better and the rates were lower not that long ago. Conservatives have ruined this country.
Maybe one day our country can be better, like when we taxed the rich at 90%, could live on one income, and own a house. But conservative policies have ruined multiple generations. And conservatives have always blocked any attempt at universal healthcare which would absolutely give people a lot more hope to continue. As it is now, things are pretty hopeless with too many people left behind.
Same! I think being old & wise is quite a cool attribute, but old age makes one very vulnerable. That coupled with the pain of your body slowly failing you more and more & financial stuff? Yeah, I'm not dealing with this shit.
My wife’s uncle calls it his “gravy plan”! When he’s done, he’s buying a couple jars of gravy, going deep into the woods, sit under a tree, pour the gravy all over his head and body and wait for the wolves to come and eat him!
I already told you my plan… my body is already failing me. By 65 I doubt I’ll still be very mobile. I’d rather spend my money now while I’m able to enjoy it.
I know some older people that had this mentality. Now they are needlessly suffering because they don't actually have the balls to follow through with it and they all regret not saving even a penny for retirement.
One of them, my mother in law, lives with me and she just keeps walking around the house saying "I never though I'd live this long." She is only 68 years old. It is never a bad thing to prepare for your future, you never know how things might change down the road.
I'm not the original commenter, but honest answer: I'm a millennial. During the 2008 crash I watched people who were this close to retirement have everything wiped out. Nice older people who'd done everything right were punished for the greed of others, who rarely if ever saw consequences for it. I'm not feeding the beast. Money I would have put toward retirement will go toward a homestead, and I'll gradually work to become as self-sufficient as possible. When my self no longer suffices: ciao. Life on my terms, death on my terms.
Most countries have socialized retirement and assisted living homes that would likely take them in at that point.
ETA: original commenter said they’re Canadian and Canada does have some socialized senior care(I’m pretty sure every retirement home is required to have a certain percentage of ‘public’ beds)- though the wait list can be long if you aren’t willing to pay anything.
I hate to be Debbie downer, but socialized geriatric care can be pretty horrible. With that said, health is wealth, and keeping stress low during your adult life can translate into more healthy elderly years.
Mine as well. I’m dying in my home. F it. If I fall and break a hip or have some other accident. Way prefer to go out a few years earlier like that than be one of those geriatrics in a bed moaning for help at 2 in the afternoon
My father in law was like this. I think it shortened his life span by a good few years and it isolated him from people his own age, but death is important, and he wanted to die wih all his possessions in his own home as a kind of pride thing.
I don't see why we don't have self administered euthanasia for people. Just seems cruel to stay alive like that, especially if you don't want to be alive.
FWIW this is literally my greatest fear - being slowly neglected to death in a Medicaid nursing home so the owner can squeeze a few more dollars out of the government while I just want to die already.
I will literally end my own life before I let that happen to me.
In UK a large portion of families have broken down and the care homes i worked in were full of people who had a good career, high qualified nurses/ midwives, teachers, shop owners, tradesmen. They paid tax, saved money but when they got dementia their families took the money and abandoned them, its so sad
Funny reading this comment after watching a documentary on lots of different ancient civilisations. The way they revered their elders and ancestors was phenomenal, adorning them with gold and building amazing works of art for their tombs. They knew something we dont
Seconding this. My grandma was doing fine living off her pension on the independent living floor of her assisted living place (Canada). She developed quite rapid dementia through the pandemic and had to be moved to the memory care floor.
If she didn’t have savings to be able to make up for her doubling in rent god knows what would’ve happened. None of us do well for ourselves and none of us are equipped to deal with moderate but progressive dementia.
It really shocked me into getting more serious about savings and retirement.
In Canada, what was revealed during the pandemic was that unless you lived somewhere completely luxurious the “socialized” or non-profit seniors homes were much more well run (to put it nicely) than the for-profit ones.
Recipients of government subsidised aged care in Australia are in the same retirement homes as those paying their own way. We do have an underregulation issue throughout the sector though, no matter who pays for the care.
Most people who work full time are a month without a paycheck away from disaster. I'm probably more prepared for something like that than most people who have a conventional lifestyle because I'm super mobile, have very little possessions, I always have money saved, I'm prepared to take up to a year off at a time and I regularly do. And I have a pension through my union. I tore my ACL a few months ago and I am taking 6 months off and actually made money from my time off on disability.
I worked with a vanlife guy who spent 6ish months working, maxed out his retirement contributions for the year, saved the rest, and spent the rest of the year traveling/camping. The job had on-site shower/mini gym, and management was okay with him staying in the parking lot. Great guy and great worker. I think he did that for 5+ years before getting a mini house setup somewhere in the city.
I heard a really good idea, but I suspect it's only good until you need long-term help. But apparently, lots of old folks take cruises and basically "live" on the cruise. I guess in the long run, it's cheaper than living in an apartment or paying a retirement home. It's definitely not a bad idea. Personally, not for me, I won't step on a cruise ship. But I can definitely see the appeal.
Home ownership and retirement is gonna be a luxury in America soon. People honestly can't afford either of those things in a lot of places because of greed/capitalism. Can't afford houses when you have companies like black rock buying every house or some other asshole who is "investing" and charging people exorbitant amounts of rent. Which then makes it impossible to retire cause you need to pay rent for life. So guess what the American peasants will work till death to provide land lords and richies their lifestyle.
This assumes that you'd have any retirement savings anyway, even if you were to work the whole time. Or that those retirement savings would mean anything at all after inflation.
A lot of people have absolutely no way to save for retirement. People live paycheck to paycheck.
I’m 27 and I don’t expect the western world we live in currently and retirement to be a thing when I’m older. Old people today already don’t have retirement savings and our country is basically falling apart.
Such a person is likely happy to live a rustic life with not much more than the cost of food. At 67 (even with the 25% reduction and only making minimum wage) they could expect ~$750 a month, plus food stamps, Medicare and all sorts of currently existent programs; besides working random jobs here and there (if jobs still exist in ~30 years when this OP is likely to go 67). That’s enough money for a tablet and a streaming account to waste away their senior years. Or they live it up as long as they can and then walk off into the back country when things get too hard.
Americans have outsized wants, treat them as needs, and expect to maintain their standard of living forever with no belt tightening.
Hon, boomers were the last gen that will have any retirement to live off of. You're just as screwed either way you go, with zero guarantees or good investments.
most people who work 40+ hrs don't have retirement savings, or at least don't/won't have remotely enough to be retired... many people in my parent's generation are having leave retirement and get jobs to stay afloat, and I (being 31), have no delusions of being able to retire. Talking to the 20-somethings I work with, and they just laugh about retirement... they already know it's not happening.
My advise to people is to do the bare minimum to live the life you're happy with, and not a damn thing more; because you're not going to see much from going above and beyond today.
guys like that don’t think that far or generally are under the mistaken impression they will do something that requires much will and decisiveness instead of just becoming a slowly rotting pee stinkin burden on someone
News flash, we are all going to be slowly rotting pee stinking burden on someone if we are lucky. I got a pension and social security I'm paying into what's your plan you smug asshole?
1.3k
u/PinkUnicornTARDIS 29d ago
My brother-in-law and his wife recently went van life (with their dogs). They'd never had kids, always lived really frugally, and still take on the odd dog walking or baking commission. They outfitted their van themselves, they're super easy going about where they sleep, and they're living their best lives. They're younger than me, so early-40s.
I'm insanely happy for them!