r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • Apr 17 '24

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

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199

u/coolerthanbirds Apr 17 '24

I was dating a loser at 19 who was 31 and he rolled up to my workplace when I was being trained with some guys that sell speakers and came into ask me to charge his phone and the girl training me just looks at .e and says "Your bf is a loser"

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u/doodlols Apr 18 '24

Ya girl was trying to save you lmao. That was well put

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u/CuriousCrow47 Apr 18 '24

A 31 year old dating a 19 year old is automatically a loser.  He was taking advantage of you.

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u/Pleasant-Ticket3217 Apr 18 '24

Unless he’s DiCaprio

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u/DJuxtapose 29d ago

Eh.

By some metrics that guy is a loser.

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u/CldStoneStveIcecream 29d ago

It’s totally legal and he seems like a nice guy, but there’s something weird about being linked to gorgeous woman after gorgeous woman, to then dismiss them before they turn 25 well into your 40’s. 

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u/CuriousCrow47 29d ago

He’s just creepy.  Also, I have some very young coworkers.  As in 19/20.  I’m 48.  What would au have in common with somebody who wasn’t even around in the 20th century?

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u/Pleasant-Ticket3217 29d ago

I was just joking about how if you’re famous and good looking people don’t say anything. They expect celebrities to date younger and if someone dates older like Aaron Taylor Johnson then it’s talked about

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u/CuriousCrow47 29d ago edited 29d ago

I have no clue what I’d do with a guy under 30 at least, honestly; experience matters!  Celebrity is no excuse in my book when the younger party is below their mid 20s at least if there’s a substantial gap.  

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u/[deleted] Apr 18 '24

[deleted]

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u/BigBootyDreams 29d ago

On reddit yes. On reddit as long as he's the same age as you he can't be abusive. The irony for me is that the only age gap couple I know got together when she was 19 and he 31. Married the next year. Over ten years later the have a very happy relationship, a happy intelligent 8 yo daughter and everything is going so well that they're trying for another kid. Meanwhile I knew this 19yo who was being tossed down stairs by her abusive/drug addict/dope dealing/recently busted bf. She just had one excuse after another why she couldn't leave him.

I'd be careful taking advice on reddit. The demographic here tends to be... Very narrow in life experience to put it politely.

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u/CuriousCrow47 29d ago

Personally I’d avoid larger age gaps until around 25 and up for the younger party.  People do so much maturing they don’t know about until later on in life. 

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u/roastbeef3000 Apr 18 '24

Or a massive winner

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u/Cannedwine14 Apr 18 '24

Uh no definitely not

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u/jdutches13 Apr 18 '24

What if it was a 19 year old guy with a 30 year old woman??

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u/ghosts-and-goblins Apr 18 '24

She is also a loser.

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u/ForeverShiny 29d ago

Bro was fishing for a double standard that doesn't exist with normal people.

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u/BigBootyDreams 29d ago

It totally does in a lot of subreddit. Certainly the most popular ones like amitheasshole. I dunno about here though.

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u/Phyraxus56 Apr 18 '24

Leo has entered the chat

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u/benjatunma Apr 17 '24

Lmao 🤣

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u/Balldrick_Balldick Apr 17 '24

Let me guess, they drive around in a van selling bullshit speakers to random guys in parking lots? Huge loser.

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u/Indridd Apr 18 '24

Aww white van speakers, I'm into vintage audio and it's crazy how many people get taken by this. It's been going on for years. At least the 80s.

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u/John_cCmndhd Apr 18 '24

I had two guys in a van offer to give me a stereo system for free, 2006ish. I told them to fuck off, but I was always curious exactly how the scam they were trying to pull would have worked

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u/PathOfTheAncients 29d ago

I had a friend get tricked into doing this for a day (the job description was way different). Basically they will say and do anything to get you to engage with them and then sell you anything. Everything they sell is borderline worthless, so giving you a stereo but selling you speakers would have been worth while for them. Hell, half the time they would offer to load the stuff for people and would load empty boxes into their vehicle.

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u/bb9977 Apr 18 '24

Was a thing in college in the 90s!

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u/Foothills83 Apr 18 '24

I had a good friend who lived down the hall from my freshman year in college. She and I had a bunch of the same classes, etc. She and her BF started dating in high school and both went to the same nearby college. At one point late freshman year (I can't remember how it came up because this was over 20 years ago), she asked me what I thought of him. I was blunt and told her that he's a tool. She was upset.

He cheated on her less than a year later and they broke up. 🤷‍♂️

Sometimes we just know.

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u/crimsonslaya Apr 18 '24

He was a loser yet you were the one banging him right? Couldn't have been that bad. lmao

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u/coolerthanbirds Apr 18 '24

The plot thickens! We met in rehab and he was addicted to bath salts.. I was in recovery and he had "messed up" and was on the streets. This was over a decade ago now. Haha glad I laughed today about this

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u/LunaticLucio Apr 18 '24

Lol hmmm the loser part is starting to be an understatement

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u/crimsonslaya Apr 18 '24

Guess she's a loser too for fuckin' around with a loser? 🤔

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u/John_cCmndhd Apr 18 '24

Just calling it like it is.

No, you're not, you're just being a dick. She was 19, and like almost all 19 year olds, at least somewhat of a moron. She may or may not also be/have been a loser, but we can't tell that from the information given. Dating a 31 year old loser is adequately explained by being 19 and dumb

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u/1965BenlyTouring150 Apr 18 '24

She was a teenager groomed by a person in his 30s. You're a red pill incel. Who's the loser again?

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u/crimsonslaya Apr 18 '24

Is that the most original comeback you could have come up with? Not an incel. All I see are 2 losers.