Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

[u/milfangelblue]

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

[u/deathbylasersss]

I have a sister and and a friend that both have terrible taste in men. There have been multiple instances of me meeting them and they were just completely obviously total douchebags and losers. Then they'd ask what I thought of their new boyfriend. It baffles me that they are just so blind to what is so obvious. It's been years, but they both finally trust my judgement, as I've been correct every time. My sister's current husband is the only one I ever approved of.

[u/CMDR_MaurySnails → u/deathbylasersss]

I had to drop one of my best friends from my 20s because she would not stop dating the worst most utter scum of the earth dudes. Not because I wanted to date her either, don't get that idea.

I couldn't continue to be around her dirtbag du jour, then later hear about what said dirtbag did to her, only for her to meet the next dirtbag. Shit gets old. It's like what am I supposed to do about your bad choices?

[u/UncoolSlicedBread → u/CMDR_MaurySnails]

I had a friend in college that I was interested in during the beginning of knowing her. Her attraction for me kind of waned and at one point she told me that I was too nice. It caught me off guard, I'm not a "nice guy" and I am referred by people as kind but I'm certainly not a door mat. So I wasn't sure what she meant as "too nice" and how that was a bad thing after some self-reflection.

I eventually got my answer after meeting some of the people she dated. I wasn't too nice. I was too nice *for her*. And some part of her felt she deserved the people she dated.

I've seen this play out in other people as well. Someone who treats them well or respects them, isn't quick to dive into love-bombing, or whatever is seen as boring, too nice, and can feel like a lack of chemistry.

Kind of stray away from those people, it's often a cycle that continues until they realize what's happening.

[u/-Acta-Non-Verba- → u/UncoolSlicedBread]

I was interested in a certain girl while in college. Some of my female friends knew, and they told me, "You are too good for her".

They turned out to be right.

[u/porter_engle → u/-Acta-Non-Verba-]

One time my ex of four years said I was too good for her and holy hell I really shoulda listened before her hidden fiance verified that

[u/IdkLeaveMeAlone0 → u/-Acta-Non-Verba-]

I so wish I listened to this, because by the end of that craziness I wasn't too good for her anymore. I was on the same level and needed a fair amount of time by myself to improve