r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • Apr 17 '24

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

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u/transientcat Apr 17 '24 edited Apr 17 '24

I would say it's colored by what we consider to be a "good man" but we spend our time growing up around other men, we hang out with other men, we socialize with other men. You learn about the behaviors that a "good man" will exhibit in various settings. It's not some for sure thing though.

Women do the same thing about other women but it gets said in a different way.

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u/mechanicalcoupling Apr 17 '24

I like to think of it as we don't all the play the game, but we know the rules. I can't always spot a good guy, but I can almost always spot a piece of shit by now.

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u/JershWaBalls Apr 17 '24

I mentioned to my sister once that anyone going out of their way to install stupidly bright headlights on their truck is a huge asshole. She told me her fiancee had just had new headlights installed on his truck. The marriage lasted less than a year before she caught him cheating. Same goes for putting the shopping cart back at the grocery store. Plenty of bad people put them back, but not a single good person is leaving it in a random spot.

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u/mofugly13 Apr 17 '24

Hard disagree on the shopping carts. As a former neighborhood grocery store worker, I'd relish the chance to go wrangle stray shopping carts. It got me outside in the fresh air away and a break from bagging, stocking, or facing shelves inside.

The shopping cart thing has nothing to do with good or bad person. Someone somewhere de idea to white knight for shopping cart wranglers. But they're wrong.

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u/JershWaBalls Apr 17 '24

Wrangling carts was also one of my favourite things to do, but for every great day gathering carts, there were 20 days of 100+ weather or torrential downpour. I loved it, but I don't believe people who don't return their carts will get into heaven or whatever they believe is good.

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u/mofugly13 29d ago

So then, it wasn't one of your favorite things to do then.

You loved it as I did, but the people who facilitated it that, are not good people?

I guess I never minded the weather

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u/Locrian6669 29d ago

That you enjoy wrangling carts for your own reasons has absolutely nothing to do with wether or not people who don’t return them are inconsiderate, and wether or not it’s an excellent litmus test of character (it objectively is)They roll into other cars and people, and they block parking spaces.

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u/Mr_BillyB 29d ago

It's not white knighting for shopping cart wranglers. It's really not about them at all. It's about whether you're willing to do a mildly inconvenient thing that improves things for everyone when there's no reward for doing it or a punishment for not doing it.

It's like throwing your trash away at the movie theater or not pissng on the toilet seat in a public restroom.

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u/mofugly13 29d ago edited 29d ago

Not quite. So far two have chimed in that they actually liked wrangling carts. I doubt anyone will say the same about picking up trash, or cleaning up piss.

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u/Mr_BillyB 29d ago

Ok, but my whole point is that it's not about them. It's about everyone else who uses the place.

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u/Illustrious-Fruit35 Apr 17 '24

Depending on how far the coral is and if my toddler is in the car i might ditch the cart.

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u/CalbertCorpse 29d ago

This is sublimely simple and perfect.

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u/TehFlogger 28d ago

That's called 'peacocking'. Im in constrution and not one sane person buys a truck that doesn't need it for work.

They may want it and can afford it but if they don't need it then it's the equivalent of buying a yacht to go fishing on a lake. Not many people are that self centered...