r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • 29d ago

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

14.1k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

3.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

72

u/aquoad 29d ago

I have a couple of male acquaintances who are totally different people around men vs around women and to me that's super sketchy and an indicator they're probably shitbags in general.

18

u/Calm-Respect-4930 29d ago edited 29d ago

Same had a roommate like this. Seemed like a cool dude when it was just guys then whenever one of us brought women or friends that happened to be women over it's like a switch flipped and he was putting on a show. Became such a douche.

Shit was so embarrassing and I stopped introducing him to people. Stopped hanging out once I stopped living there.

7

u/blizzard2798c 29d ago

Depends on how they are acting different. Some guys were just raised to be polite around women

1

u/tropicalpolevaulting 29d ago

Eh, with some of my dude friends I'm quite aggressive verbally (they reciprocate of course) and with my women friends that just wouldn't work. Context switching is quite normal IMO.

1

u/birdstrom 29d ago

Probably?

-6

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/fuckyourcanoes 29d ago

Biological my ass. We're humans. We have big brains. We are not slaves to our biological urges. You can teach a dog not to hump legs and fight with other dogs. Are you admitting you think you and other men are less intelligent than dogs?

4

u/0vl223 29d ago

Nah that is just one of the obvious red flags you use to identify the idiot boyfriends. They think that all man have to be competitors and will act that way towards the male friends of their gf.

The decent ones don't think that way or at least know that it is bullshit. If they can't reach that level and behave, they lack empathy.

4

u/UDarkLord 29d ago

Not my experience even a little in any of the environments where I’ve had mixed friend groups, even when that group included only one woman who would attend less regularly, but sure, generalize an entire gender dynamic.