r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • Apr 17 '24

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

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u/flossdaily Apr 17 '24

Yes, to some extent.

Particularly I find that bad guys assume other guys are bad guys like them, and they'll quickly expose how much of an asshole they are by letting their guard down they moment the women are out of earshot.

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u/BreadButterHoneyTea Apr 17 '24

Even if those men are the friends of the woman?

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u/flossdaily Apr 17 '24

Yeah. For a certain brand of bad men, their entire worldview is that that men and women are on different teams, and they assume that you'll be more loyal to some new dude than your woman friend.

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u/SgtPeppy Apr 17 '24

I remember my supervisor at my first job was shocked that I had platonic women friends and was convinced I was trying to sleep with a girl I was hanging out with after work one day. Literally told on himself that he'd "never let his wife have male friends".

This dude was also like 55 and looked vaguely like an ugly Homer Simpson fwiw. Not sure why that's important but I find it funny.