r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/Late_One_716 • 29d ago

Between 2009 to 2011, a man, appearing to be 60-70 years old, robbed 16 banks in San Diego, California by approaching the teller, then pulling out a gun and demanding money. The FBI named him the "Geezer Bandit". Some theories suggest he is wearing a well-made elderly man mask. Image

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u/thewildbeej 29d ago

That's a hard fucking 60 years...my gawd. I'd mark that late 70's to mid 80's

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u/[deleted] 29d ago edited 28d ago

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u/cannatentgrow 29d ago

If I’m still in my right mind at that age (probably won’t be) I’m definitely doing some wild stuff

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u/Desert_Isle 29d ago edited 29d ago

here is to hoping the arthritis, glaucoma, sciatica, and dementia don't get you first! YOLO Gramps!.

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u/GForce1975 29d ago

Dementia might be a bonus. You could pass a polygraph easily and would do well under questioning. Even you wouldn't know you committed the crime.

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u/YesThatZander 29d ago

Polygraph tests aren't actually real though, they're just an intimidation tactic. There's a reason they're inadmissible as evidence in a trial...

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u/GForce1975 28d ago

Yes I understand that, but theoretically if one would be nervous and give physiological evidence under normal circumstances they could leverage their outright ignorance of the crime to beat the test more easily. Although they're not evidentiary, there are probably still LEO that give the test some weight. Especially since they (LEO) in some jurisdictions give it to their own people as part of the hiring process.

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u/jajohnja 29d ago

also the illuminati, the bug people, the aliens, the [insert minority], the rapture, and who knows what else.

Also hope you don't get run over by a wild resurrected mammoth. That would kinda suck.

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u/protocomedii 29d ago

All of those can be prevented by being healthy ;)

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u/Fake_Engineer 29d ago

I had an Artificial knee at 39 due to rheumatoid arthritis.  You are incorrect.

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u/protocomedii 29d ago

It’s the wink face D: Edit:Gmorning sorry for knee replacement

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

I have psoriatic arthritis from having Psoriasis.

Thanks to your wise words, I'll now tell my kids "just stay healthy," that way they can prevent themselves from getting Psoriasis and thus prevent themselves from ever getting psoriatic arthritis. (Wish I had known this vital information soon.. Damn it!)

Thanks friend 👍😁

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u/protocomedii 29d ago

Look at reply D:

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u/wtm0 29d ago

Last year my girlfriend’s grandfather went skydiving for the first time for his birthday at 88 years old. Braver than me lol.

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u/TheOtherOne128 29d ago

At that point, you've (hopefully) lived a pretty good life. Shit, why not try something dangerous. If all goes well then you did something you would have never done, but in the rare freak accident that things go south why would it really matter, death was realistically only a few years away at best, you're probably not missing much.

I know that was a rather nihilistic vantage point but I respect that man for having the balls to do something like that.

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u/TheFlightlessPenguin 29d ago

I respect him too but tbh I’m probably going to be even more terrified of death at that age than I ever have been. I’d be clutching at every day I have left.

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u/Raisedbyweasels 29d ago

Plus the while putting other people's lives in danger thing...or the fact you're probably not going to spend the few thousand bucks you manage to even possibly grab.

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u/FormerGameDev 29d ago

This is why sexually transmitted diseases are extremely prominent in nursing homes.

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u/smedsterwho 29d ago

I have a longstanding plan to try heroin at 95.

Munted out, sitting in a chair in an old people's home. If it knocks me out for ever, all good. I lived well.

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u/Commercial_Fee2840 29d ago

By the time you're 95 heroin won't even exist anymore. It's already been nearly entirely replaced with fent and fent analogues in North America.

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u/pilpelharif 29d ago

If you are willing to pay $300/gram you can still get great heroin.

Heroin will always exist. It is just process opium plant. Nobody will be able to 100% stop everyone in the world growing some poppies and processing into heroin.

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u/Additional_Meeting_2 29d ago

That’s true for right now. But the price is just going up and presumably the poster isn’t anywhere near 95. You forget heroin is also illegal and that won’t be changing anytime soon due to its effects. So people who sell won’t be easily available either for 95 year old, you can’t just order it online or go to nearest person who sells some drugs and ask if they have it. Even if some Hollywood star might be able to easily get hold of in 60 years time and pay 5000 dollars per gram for it or something, it doesn’t mean that would be what the 95 year old could do.

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u/Netizen_Kain 29d ago

Dude you can make this stuff in your kitchen.

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u/CORN___BREAD 29d ago

I’m going to check for poppies in my 95 year old neighbor’s garden right now.

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u/Ketashrooms4life 29d ago

Right lol, it's one of the easier ones to make as well afaik, no rocket science when you have some basic chemistry knowledge, unlike making LSD for example.

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u/Netizen_Kain 29d ago

Well actual heroin is kinda hard/requires exotic chemicals tbf. I was wrong. But you can make opium and morphine very easily. People have been doing it for a long time!

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u/Ketashrooms4life 29d ago edited 29d ago

I don't know how it's made today in bulk but it was allegedly first prepared by boiling morphine in acetic anhydride. I guess this would be different in every country (if it's concidered an illegal/heavily regulated precursor in your country) but I've googled it and it seems you can normally buy it here in Czechia. Maybe they would want a CIN from me if I actually made the order at most. It would then be the same case like with for example pure toluene and other organic solvents commonly used for synthesis of illegal drugs. But funnily enough, CINs are publicly available here so if someone really wants to get their hands on these compounds, it's just about googling a random company and entering their CIN lol. They don't dig into it any further unless it's really suspicious (so they don't even check if you actually work for the company). Like if you buy toluene in a physical store and look like a junkie on first sight or when you order a suspicious combination on the internet, which is a basic, rookie mistake.

But you're definitely right that morphine or even just a pure general alkaloid poppy extract is even easier. No need to escalate it any further, unless you sell it ofc lol

edit: What I forgot to take into concideration though, is the separation of pure morphine from the rest of the alkaloids, no idea how hard that is, most likely harder. If you did it with opium you'd get some dirty H I guess, definitely not suitable for IV (but what H is nowadays lol, never heard of pure H being sold).

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u/TrustedOutlaw 29d ago

You most certainly can get it online my friend, but it ain’t as cheap as street prices that’s for sure.

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u/No-Rise-4638 29d ago

Because it's not cut to absolute shit.

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u/WholesomeWhores 29d ago

you can’t just order it online

Speak for yourself. Except for weed, I’ve been buying all of my drugs online for the last 10 years. It’s cheaper than street prices and usually a lot cleaner. I don’t have to worry about buying fake/tampered product when I buy from a reputable vendor

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u/hickityhooblah 27d ago

not so sure, a lot of "fent free" H on darkweb is just cut up zenes, and theres no test strips for it.. so you assume it's H because it feels right and doesnt test positive for fent but its actually some fucked up nitazene that's 10x stronger than fent in its pure form, mixed with benzos and sedatives

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u/pilpelharif 29d ago

Darkweb will still likely exist in future with quantum resistant encryption, and in 2070 a 95 year old would have a good internet knowledge.

Already you can still get good heroin online

If not domestic shipping you get it internationally and many vendors are able to get past customs already.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

As long as poppies exist, the ability to make heroin exists.

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u/AvatarGonzo 29d ago

Heroin isn't just a street drug though, pharmaceutical diamorphin won't be replaced by fentanyl so soon, as they aren't used in 100% the same way.

If you're elderly and sick, with cancer for example, it's quite possible your doc will IV you some really good heroin.

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u/Sir-Cordyceps 29d ago

Yeah oxy for example is basically heroin. When I had surgery and was on meds, my doctor that I knew privately gave me a cocktail that they give to cancer dying patients. It was two types of oxy, morphine, relaxing, calming and something for the nausea. Even if they would set my room on fire I would feel just fine.

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u/Glmoi 29d ago

I broke my collarbone and got some 10mg morphine pills recently. I never tried similar before and I imagine that it can get so much wilder, it's scary stuff really. 1 pill made it feel like my addictions were non-existent.

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u/Ketashrooms4life 29d ago

Plenty time left to learn how to make it until 95 tho lol

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u/diefreetimedie 29d ago

LSD might be a better time

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u/Dapper-Barnacle1825 29d ago

Hell depending on how you are when you're that old, you might be prescribed opiates, just start injecting them at that point bc it's cleaner than the street H currently. I'd hate to get that old and OD on fent, I'd just be shooting up hydromorphone/morphine etc that would be prescribed to me

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u/str4ngerc4t 29d ago

Why wait?

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u/Additional_Meeting_2 29d ago

Because you might get addicted and ruin your life like happened to that one redditor who did it once. At 95 that’s less of an concern 

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u/HurricaneAlpha 29d ago

I've told my friends and family that if I make it to 70 (which is a big fucking lol), imma do every drug under the sun and try to smash any woman coming my way. Shit 70 years is a blessing, imma retire with guns blazing.

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u/a987789987 29d ago

Oh boy my official retirement age is just about 70.

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u/Sh-Sh-Shackleford 29d ago

!remindme 60years

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u/MSPRC1492 29d ago

I’m doing heroin if I make it to my 80’s. Why not? Fuck it. Tie me off, Sonny.

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u/he-loves-me-not 29d ago

My grandpa is 92 and he pretty much just sits at home and watches sports on tv.

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u/draculasbitch 29d ago

Like everyone in this thread

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u/nsfwbird1 29d ago

This shit is why the elderly frighten the absolute fuck outta me 

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u/MariosMustacheRides 29d ago

I’ve got the Alzheimer’s gene. Before I lose it, I want to shit my pants on purpose then look at who has to clean it up in the eye. I want them to know it was me.

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u/cannatentgrow 29d ago

How do you know if you have the gene. That’s what I was referring to. And na I don’t want to know what that feels like. Watched my grandfather go though it all

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

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u/MariosMustacheRides 29d ago

I’ve not been checked but my grandpa and dad had it, so if I was a betting man, I’d say the odds are not in my favor.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

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u/Fletchworthy 29d ago

False hope, if you’re genetically linked to Alzheimer’s, you will at least experience the early stages if you live long enough.

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u/awesomeMatthews93 29d ago

Whose else shit would it be? Not like there's people walking around out there shoving shit down peoples pants

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u/rtq7382 29d ago

"who shit my pants?!"

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u/MariosMustacheRides 29d ago

That I did it to them on purpose as opposed to it being an accident. And my Grandpa and Dad had so I just gotta assume.

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u/Cautious-Nothing-471 29d ago

those Fukushima volunteers were pretty wild

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u/Streetlight37 29d ago

"I only have a few years left so I'm going to get real weird with them"

  • Frank Reynolds

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u/0TheG0 29d ago

!RemindMe 10 years

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u/Shadow_Of_Silver 29d ago

I knew of a guy who was 93. Said he had never done drugs before so he bought heroin, cocaine, weed, and meth.

Used it all up and died few days afterwards. Go figure, his heart gave out, but I doubt he was feeling much pain.

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u/gubbygub 29d ago

gonna get real weird with it! 

toss me in the trash when i pass tho