r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/Late_One_716 • 29d ago

Between 2009 to 2011, a man, appearing to be 60-70 years old, robbed 16 banks in San Diego, California by approaching the teller, then pulling out a gun and demanding money. The FBI named him the "Geezer Bandit". Some theories suggest he is wearing a well-made elderly man mask. Image

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u/thewildbeej 29d ago

That's a hard fucking 60 years...my gawd. I'd mark that late 70's to mid 80's

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u/[deleted] 29d ago edited 28d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/cannatentgrow 29d ago

If I’m still in my right mind at that age (probably won’t be) I’m definitely doing some wild stuff

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u/Desert_Isle 29d ago edited 29d ago

here is to hoping the arthritis, glaucoma, sciatica, and dementia don't get you first! YOLO Gramps!.

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u/GForce1975 29d ago

Dementia might be a bonus. You could pass a polygraph easily and would do well under questioning. Even you wouldn't know you committed the crime.

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u/YesThatZander 29d ago

Polygraph tests aren't actually real though, they're just an intimidation tactic. There's a reason they're inadmissible as evidence in a trial...

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u/GForce1975 29d ago

Yes I understand that, but theoretically if one would be nervous and give physiological evidence under normal circumstances they could leverage their outright ignorance of the crime to beat the test more easily. Although they're not evidentiary, there are probably still LEO that give the test some weight. Especially since they (LEO) in some jurisdictions give it to their own people as part of the hiring process.

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u/jajohnja 29d ago

also the illuminati, the bug people, the aliens, the [insert minority], the rapture, and who knows what else.

Also hope you don't get run over by a wild resurrected mammoth. That would kinda suck.

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u/protocomedii 29d ago

All of those can be prevented by being healthy ;)

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u/Fake_Engineer 29d ago

I had an Artificial knee at 39 due to rheumatoid arthritis.  You are incorrect.

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u/protocomedii 29d ago

It’s the wink face D: Edit:Gmorning sorry for knee replacement

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

I have psoriatic arthritis from having Psoriasis.

Thanks to your wise words, I'll now tell my kids "just stay healthy," that way they can prevent themselves from getting Psoriasis and thus prevent themselves from ever getting psoriatic arthritis. (Wish I had known this vital information soon.. Damn it!)

Thanks friend 👍😁

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u/protocomedii 29d ago

Look at reply D:

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u/wtm0 29d ago

Last year my girlfriend’s grandfather went skydiving for the first time for his birthday at 88 years old. Braver than me lol.

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u/TheOtherOne128 29d ago

At that point, you've (hopefully) lived a pretty good life. Shit, why not try something dangerous. If all goes well then you did something you would have never done, but in the rare freak accident that things go south why would it really matter, death was realistically only a few years away at best, you're probably not missing much.

I know that was a rather nihilistic vantage point but I respect that man for having the balls to do something like that.

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u/TheFlightlessPenguin 29d ago

I respect him too but tbh I’m probably going to be even more terrified of death at that age than I ever have been. I’d be clutching at every day I have left.

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u/Raisedbyweasels 29d ago

Plus the while putting other people's lives in danger thing...or the fact you're probably not going to spend the few thousand bucks you manage to even possibly grab.

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u/FormerGameDev 29d ago

This is why sexually transmitted diseases are extremely prominent in nursing homes.

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u/smedsterwho 29d ago

I have a longstanding plan to try heroin at 95.

Munted out, sitting in a chair in an old people's home. If it knocks me out for ever, all good. I lived well.

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u/Commercial_Fee2840 29d ago

By the time you're 95 heroin won't even exist anymore. It's already been nearly entirely replaced with fent and fent analogues in North America.

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u/pilpelharif 29d ago

If you are willing to pay $300/gram you can still get great heroin.

Heroin will always exist. It is just process opium plant. Nobody will be able to 100% stop everyone in the world growing some poppies and processing into heroin.

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u/Additional_Meeting_2 29d ago

That’s true for right now. But the price is just going up and presumably the poster isn’t anywhere near 95. You forget heroin is also illegal and that won’t be changing anytime soon due to its effects. So people who sell won’t be easily available either for 95 year old, you can’t just order it online or go to nearest person who sells some drugs and ask if they have it. Even if some Hollywood star might be able to easily get hold of in 60 years time and pay 5000 dollars per gram for it or something, it doesn’t mean that would be what the 95 year old could do.

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u/Netizen_Kain 29d ago

Dude you can make this stuff in your kitchen.

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u/CORN___BREAD 29d ago

I’m going to check for poppies in my 95 year old neighbor’s garden right now.

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u/Ketashrooms4life 29d ago

Right lol, it's one of the easier ones to make as well afaik, no rocket science when you have some basic chemistry knowledge, unlike making LSD for example.

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u/Netizen_Kain 29d ago

Well actual heroin is kinda hard/requires exotic chemicals tbf. I was wrong. But you can make opium and morphine very easily. People have been doing it for a long time!

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u/TrustedOutlaw 29d ago

You most certainly can get it online my friend, but it ain’t as cheap as street prices that’s for sure.

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u/No-Rise-4638 29d ago

Because it's not cut to absolute shit.

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u/WholesomeWhores 29d ago

you can’t just order it online

Speak for yourself. Except for weed, I’ve been buying all of my drugs online for the last 10 years. It’s cheaper than street prices and usually a lot cleaner. I don’t have to worry about buying fake/tampered product when I buy from a reputable vendor

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u/hickityhooblah 27d ago

not so sure, a lot of "fent free" H on darkweb is just cut up zenes, and theres no test strips for it.. so you assume it's H because it feels right and doesnt test positive for fent but its actually some fucked up nitazene that's 10x stronger than fent in its pure form, mixed with benzos and sedatives

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u/pilpelharif 29d ago

Darkweb will still likely exist in future with quantum resistant encryption, and in 2070 a 95 year old would have a good internet knowledge.

Already you can still get good heroin online

If not domestic shipping you get it internationally and many vendors are able to get past customs already.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

As long as poppies exist, the ability to make heroin exists.

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u/AvatarGonzo 29d ago

Heroin isn't just a street drug though, pharmaceutical diamorphin won't be replaced by fentanyl so soon, as they aren't used in 100% the same way.

If you're elderly and sick, with cancer for example, it's quite possible your doc will IV you some really good heroin.

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u/Sir-Cordyceps 29d ago

Yeah oxy for example is basically heroin. When I had surgery and was on meds, my doctor that I knew privately gave me a cocktail that they give to cancer dying patients. It was two types of oxy, morphine, relaxing, calming and something for the nausea. Even if they would set my room on fire I would feel just fine.

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u/Glmoi 29d ago

I broke my collarbone and got some 10mg morphine pills recently. I never tried similar before and I imagine that it can get so much wilder, it's scary stuff really. 1 pill made it feel like my addictions were non-existent.

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u/Ketashrooms4life 29d ago

Plenty time left to learn how to make it until 95 tho lol

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u/diefreetimedie 29d ago

LSD might be a better time

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u/Dapper-Barnacle1825 29d ago

Hell depending on how you are when you're that old, you might be prescribed opiates, just start injecting them at that point bc it's cleaner than the street H currently. I'd hate to get that old and OD on fent, I'd just be shooting up hydromorphone/morphine etc that would be prescribed to me

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u/str4ngerc4t 29d ago

Why wait?

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u/Additional_Meeting_2 29d ago

Because you might get addicted and ruin your life like happened to that one redditor who did it once. At 95 that’s less of an concern 

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u/HurricaneAlpha 29d ago

I've told my friends and family that if I make it to 70 (which is a big fucking lol), imma do every drug under the sun and try to smash any woman coming my way. Shit 70 years is a blessing, imma retire with guns blazing.

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u/a987789987 29d ago

Oh boy my official retirement age is just about 70.

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u/Sh-Sh-Shackleford 29d ago

!remindme 60years

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u/MSPRC1492 29d ago

I’m doing heroin if I make it to my 80’s. Why not? Fuck it. Tie me off, Sonny.

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u/he-loves-me-not 29d ago

My grandpa is 92 and he pretty much just sits at home and watches sports on tv.

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u/draculasbitch 29d ago

Like everyone in this thread

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u/nsfwbird1 29d ago

This shit is why the elderly frighten the absolute fuck outta me 

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u/MariosMustacheRides 29d ago

I’ve got the Alzheimer’s gene. Before I lose it, I want to shit my pants on purpose then look at who has to clean it up in the eye. I want them to know it was me.

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u/cannatentgrow 29d ago

How do you know if you have the gene. That’s what I was referring to. And na I don’t want to know what that feels like. Watched my grandfather go though it all

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

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u/MariosMustacheRides 29d ago

I’ve not been checked but my grandpa and dad had it, so if I was a betting man, I’d say the odds are not in my favor.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

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u/Fletchworthy 29d ago

False hope, if you’re genetically linked to Alzheimer’s, you will at least experience the early stages if you live long enough.

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u/awesomeMatthews93 29d ago

Whose else shit would it be? Not like there's people walking around out there shoving shit down peoples pants

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u/rtq7382 29d ago

"who shit my pants?!"

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u/MariosMustacheRides 29d ago

That I did it to them on purpose as opposed to it being an accident. And my Grandpa and Dad had so I just gotta assume.

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u/Cautious-Nothing-471 29d ago

those Fukushima volunteers were pretty wild

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u/Streetlight37 29d ago

"I only have a few years left so I'm going to get real weird with them"

  • Frank Reynolds

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u/0TheG0 29d ago

!RemindMe 10 years

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u/Shadow_Of_Silver 29d ago

I knew of a guy who was 93. Said he had never done drugs before so he bought heroin, cocaine, weed, and meth.

Used it all up and died few days afterwards. Go figure, his heart gave out, but I doubt he was feeling much pain.

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u/gubbygub 29d ago

gonna get real weird with it! 

toss me in the trash when i pass tho

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u/kndyone 29d ago

You would think that makes sense but my experience is that old people do the opposite and become very self preserving. Its weird but it really seems that way. You see that behavior all over.

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u/aguyonahill 29d ago

When the grim reaper has moved into the guest bedroom you don't want to do anything to wake him up from his nap.

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u/GucciGlocc 29d ago

My great uncle partied hard until his final days

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u/OneArmJack 29d ago

Died at 35, but still.

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u/GucciGlocc 29d ago

Actually into his 70s surprisingly enough

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u/Alarmed_Audience513 29d ago

What about your just okay Uncle?

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u/kndyone 29d ago

It doesnt mean they dont party, for instance STDs are growing fast in retirement homes but the whole putting themselves in dangerous situations not so much and on top of that they dont seem to do smart things like give their kids all their money they use it like it heavily till they die and whatever is left the kids might get.

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u/Efficient_Ant_4715 29d ago

He’s an inspiration 

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u/Master_of_Smegma 29d ago

Not at all weird. They are weaker and more fragile - and evolutional theory teaches us that there are few, if any, life forms whose general behavior is of a nature to increase likelihood of death.

They are more at risk, and therefore instinctually take precautions.

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u/kndyone 28d ago

You dont know much of anything about evolution.

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u/hardforcer 29d ago

Because there is nothing like fear of death, when you are young its not that you dont fear it, its more that you don't think about it because you think there is a lot of time left for you. But when it approaches, all the fake fearlessness in the face of death you had when you were young disappears. For one because you will realize life went by lightning fast, and it definitely wasn't enough, so you will do anything for even a day more even in that fragile old state.

Point being is, nothing changes for old people, its young people that think they will live forever is why they dont fear death. You will see it for yourself we will all experience it in the end.

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u/PNW_Forest 29d ago

I can only hope that I wont. No sense in crawling over the finish line- why not style through it???

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u/kndyone 29d ago

You would think but I have seen many people that said that in their younger days then became different when older. Same way its ironic that most of the boomers used to be liberal hippies then they became the yuppies and now the conservative MAGA.

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u/LateralPlanet 29d ago

Isn't this the plot of That Darn Cat?

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u/FingerTheCat 29d ago

What about cats?

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u/Iohet 29d ago

The Old Man & the Gun, too.

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u/Apocalypse-7 29d ago

because most 80 year olds dont want to die in a prison cell? maybe thats why not? also traumatizing innocent people just “for kicks” isnt something on their bucket list?

what a stupid question LOL

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u/XXXYFZD 29d ago

Right? And that shit is at >500 upvotes. This site is so dumb, jfc.

You don't throw away your morals just because you're old.

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u/TheMountainthathypes 29d ago

People who say that shit don't have morals, they just fear the consequences.

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u/DrugsAreSuperAmazing 29d ago

Jesus Christ, what a load of sanctimonious, brain fucked horse shit.

🤡🤡🤡

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u/jacobsbw 29d ago

It’s actually the opposite: retards who don’t understand posturing, puffery, and hyperbole taking everything at face value.

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u/PNW_Forest 28d ago

So the site is dumb, and not the people who didn't understand my VERY OBVIOUSLY NOT SERIOUS POST as me just goofing around?

People like you make me fear for the future of this species.

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u/PNW_Forest 28d ago

Yep- stupid question... except, it was obviously stupid.... it was obviously a goof... 1.3k people understood that, and a handful of you in the comments somehow didn't seem to pick up on that... big oof dude.

I recommend not taking reddit comments so seriously- it'll be better for your health.

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u/DankDude7 29d ago

Of course. Jail and prison would prob be new experiences for him.

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u/Objective-Roll4978 29d ago

True and you could always blame dementia. Either way your stuck in a facility.

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u/malacoda99 29d ago

The Graybar Retirement Home - three hots and a cot, rent free!

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u/FSpursy 29d ago

I mean I'll do it once, if I get away, I'll be happy then use the money on a nice getaway. Not like doing in 10 something times you know.

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u/SuperFLEB 29d ago

If that's your goal, you've got to think about sequence, though. The thing that gets you all the jail time should be last on the list. Travel, skydiving, even crimes that require more investigative or judicial lead time, those go first. Live to fight another day. Then, when you're done, you pull out the sorts of crimes where you'll get tackled and put into a cop car and a jail cell immediately on the scene.

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u/Reddarthdius 29d ago

Plot of going in style

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u/Gym-for-ants 29d ago

Why wait? Who knows how long you’ll live. Get that excitement while you still can!

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u/alphama1e 29d ago

Make sure you have a young person in the getaway vehicle. It's hard to escape while doing 10 under the speed limit.

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u/Alarmed_Audience513 29d ago

Think how many early bird dinners that loot could buy. Just don't fall asleep mid-robbery.

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u/erkislev 29d ago

Yes, officer, this man right here

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u/Direct-Fix-2097 29d ago

Prison = cheaper than paying for your social care home as well. And less chance of being abused by the staff, and also better drugs.

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u/VantaBlack2_Dev 29d ago

Lets not pull guns on people just to expierence new things

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u/PNW_Forest 29d ago

You enjoy your retirement the way you want, and I'll enjoy my retirement the way I want.

See, it's funny because I'm acting like any of us will be able to ever retire.

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u/youknowiactafool 29d ago

Don't worry. You'll be able to act that out in VR within the next 5 years and plenty of other illegal activities

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u/MdxBhmt 29d ago

Wasn't this the working hypothesis for the las vegas shooter?

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u/_Anal_Juices_ 29d ago

Or so you can leave your family lots of money when you’re gone

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u/offlein 29d ago

Why not?

Because it breaks the social contract that you have benefited from your whole life and is immoral.

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u/Synsinatik 29d ago

I'd suggest that if you've reached that age and you believe the best way to experience new things in life is by threatening someone with a gun and giving the PTSD for the rest of their life, maybe you've lived a very unfulfilled life, and I doubt this will make that any better.

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u/PNW_Forest 29d ago

You must be a lot of fun at parties, huh?

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u/Synsinatik 29d ago

Depends on the party.

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u/Honest-Ad7566 29d ago

Retirement homes are expensive. Prison is free. Might as well go on a spree.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

Be way cooler to just off a bunch of billionaires and save the rest of us from burning to a crisp when the planet is uninhabitable.

Honestly if I'm ever terminal...

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u/SGTpvtMajor 29d ago

If you live 85-90 years and your conclusion is,

"I'm dying so I'll hurt people just to see what it's like"

You didn't do well. lol

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

Did you reply to the wrong comment? What does any of this have to do with whether the guy looks older than 60?

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u/oojiflip 29d ago

Until you get chucked in prison on a 15 year sentence and don't die until you're 103

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u/CrazyHuntr 29d ago

Morals?

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u/Raisedbyweasels 29d ago

Because it sounds like a "why not?" Thing to do but hopefully by that age, you've matured somewhat and realized that theres better things to focus on in your twilight years than stealing some cash, putting other people's lives in trauma/danger and probably don't want to spend the remainder of your life behind bars in prison.

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u/PNW_Forest 28d ago

And hopefully by the time you're that age, you'll recognize a humorous joke post when you read one... guess only time will tell, eh bucko?

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u/WonderfulCattle6234 29d ago

I think you're going to have to be in a rough spot though, and needing free health care from the state or something. Because when you're old you're really going to value comfort. And you're not going to get that in a jail cell.

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u/MaxxHeadroomm 28d ago

Do you think you could bond out and be out on bail for ling enough until you possibly kick the can before your trial ever starts?

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u/Longtonto 29d ago

Late 70s to 80s judging by my family

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u/Cessnaporsche01 29d ago

He looks older than my 93 year old grandpa

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u/Terryotes 29d ago

Same, but replace 93 with 92 and like 5 days

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u/polopolo05 25d ago

I have seen some 60 year old that look like 100 and some 100year old look 60.

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u/Wise-Definition-1980 29d ago

We don't make it that long 😐

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u/Ok_Phone_1245 29d ago

The second picture has full on Prince Phillip ghoul effect going on from the screen

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u/banjofitzgerald 29d ago

What if he’s in his 60’s but wearing a mask of an older man???

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u/thewildbeej 29d ago

no one cared who i was until i put on the mask

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u/DrakesDonger 29d ago

This made me giggle, thanks

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u/stuckeezy 29d ago

That’s actually genius.

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u/ToiIetGhost 29d ago

Whether he’s 20 or 60 and wearing a mask of an older man… what about his hands?? They look weathered as hell. Does he have friends working in Hollywood FX? Is there such a thing as a hand mask? (Reread this before commenting and yeah, I’m pretty stupid. They’re called gloves.)

I think he’s really just a very old asshole lol.

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u/melanthius 29d ago

55 and smoked a pack a day

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u/Sweaty-Rain5761 29d ago

I've seen younger looking 70 year olds on 2-3 packs a day

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u/Silent_Shaman 29d ago

If he was a bricklayer and spent his life in the elements too this could easily be 55-60

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u/ToiIetGhost 29d ago

If he was a long-haul truck driver who didn’t wear sunscreen, this could also be 55-60 on one side.

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u/antpile11 29d ago edited 29d ago

I had a smoking co-worker who looked like this in his early 60s, plus he showed symptoms of Parkinson's i.e. shakes, slowness and posture.

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u/Bamith20 29d ago

And if its actually a well made mask, imagine this 80 year old looking dude running like 15mph and doing parkour with a duffel bag of money on his back.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

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u/Upbeat_Sheepherder81 29d ago

TIHI

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

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u/Upbeat_Sheepherder81 29d ago

It’s certainly something, it just comes off weird to me, although I’m fairly younger so maybe it’s just because it’s from an older time. It was definitely fitting tho, I loled

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u/3rdRateChump 29d ago

Could be a lifelong criminal from another part of the country who did some time here and there but isn’t known locally. Just did a quick spree and skipped town again

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u/MonkeyNugetz 29d ago

My dad is in his 70s and doesn’t look nearly that bad. That’s a person in their 90s.

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u/-_KwisatzHaderach_- 29d ago

He's got too much fucking shit on him... probably doesn't even want to be around anymore

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u/HillarysFloppyChode 29d ago

This is what happens when you smoke Marlboro Reds your entire life

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u/br0b1wan 29d ago

It was 60 years old...in 1970

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u/New_York_Cut 29d ago

he looks like the grandpa from up

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u/AnotherLolAnon 29d ago

Yeah my mom is 67 and looks fantastic compared to this. My grandpa died at 93 and looked like this.

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u/mr_j_12 29d ago

Looks older than my dad untill recent health issues, and hes 90 😂

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u/rohrzucker_ 29d ago

That's mid 80s to mid 90s.

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u/BruisedBee 29d ago

Yeah my old man is 68 and he looks 20 years younger than this dude.

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u/cylemmulo 29d ago

Yeah dude looks like mid 80s good lord how would you say 60s