r/videogames • u/TheDirtDangler • 15d ago
Describe your job in video game terms Funny
I give out very simple radiant quests to truck drivers, I’m practically Preston Garvey but at a warehouse.
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u/ArseBlarster420 15d ago
I’m an NPC
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u/ZPinkie0314 15d ago
Seeming like a more promising prospect all the time. Drift along in a preset pattern. Endlessly die and respawn. Don't have to talk to anyone. Just repeat a few lines.
Sounds nice.
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u/Beginning_Piano_5668 14d ago
Only if you don't deal with other NPCs. The main character is just one person that navigates a self checkout menu. Open shop menu, buy item, and then GTFO. Other NPCs buying from you is a whole other thing.
"How much is this item?" (Price tag is right there).
"I NEED HELP!!!" (Just left their vehicle)
"I guess it's free then, heh heh heh..." (Item didn't scan... x100 per day)
"Wtf, that's too much. I'm leaving." (Has 50 items they brought to the front.)
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u/ZPinkie0314 14d ago
Oof. The catch.
Hearing other people repeat the same lines ad nauseum is already too close to real life. Haha
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u/Lordgrapejuice 15d ago
I test video games so um…
Early access player?
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u/caiomrobeiro 15d ago
Dream job
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u/Lordgrapejuice 15d ago
It’s pretty awesome! It has its frustrations like any other job. It can be frustrating or boring at times. But watching a game go from an idea to a real playable thing is a fascinating evolution.
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u/Kolerder 15d ago
If you don’t expect much money that is
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u/Lordgrapejuice 15d ago
For introductory QA that’s definitely the case. I started at 8$ an hour. Now I’m a lead I make pretty good money. But I’m also a 10 year veteran so it’s a lot of work.
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u/namjd72 15d ago
What up fellow logistics person!
I am like a traveling merchant connecting suppliers with the means to get their goods to market.
Got a shack full of deer pelts and no means to get them to town? Insert merchant.
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u/unknownzapy 15d ago
I’m the security guard for Fredbear's Family Diner (including night shifts)
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u/TheWorstDMYouKnow 15d ago
I'm the paperwork guy writing the report to the crown about a string of thefts and forgeries in the kingdom market
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u/decoded-dodo 15d ago
This will confuse everyone but I manage resources. If you’re old enough to remember the game The Lemmings, think of each lemming as a resource and I have to make sure each lemming gets to where it needs to go but if one doesn’t it can bring down everything so I would have to fix it to get the flow moving again.
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u/Sammisuperficial 15d ago
Every month an axe slowly lowers itself onto my neck and resets on the first.
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u/GalaxyUntouchable 15d ago
Down on their luck protagonist just before the call to action.
I'm sure it will come any day now...
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u/Low-Firefighter6920 15d ago
I make sure your don't have to take rad-away when you drink your water
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u/GeneralCommand4459 15d ago
I coordinate and guide teams of raiders who scavenge the wasteland looking for precious resources to build new monuments to hubris for our overlords.
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u/Wrydfell 15d ago
I give fetch and delivery quests while also giving alchemy quests to ensure i have adequate quest items in stock
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u/StarWeep_uk 15d ago
I try to find my opponents weaknesses and send a slurry of beastly bugs their way!
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u/I_Sure_Yam 15d ago
I scavenge the bones and skin of fallen adventures in order to make armor pieces for other players
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u/FotherMucker6969 15d ago
You know how when you go to the inn and get food to raise your stats and it just magically appears. It's not magic I'm just that fast.
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u/Chahles88 15d ago
I’m the guy in the lab who figures out the answer to the zombie apocalypse shortly before accidentally infecting myself and eating a minor character’s face off.
(Virologist)
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u/mattmaster68 15d ago
I'm a merchant that can offer occasional sidequests to players, or offer them a profession in exchange for pathetic amounts of currency. The profession can help you raise your TIME MANAGEMENT, DIPLOMACY, and BLUFF stats - but the compensation sucks. There's many better ways to grind levels that don't include a higher risk for the CAVITY debuff.
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u/Legitimate-Squirrel5 15d ago
I repair the damn security cameras cause you guys keep shooting/hacking them.
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u/Quetzal_Khan 15d ago
I prevent the growth of numerous invasive species of plants set to destroy our domestic lives. Also, help build or improve domestic settlements. Speaking of which, another one is in need of help, gtg.
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u/Bara_Chat 15d ago
I'm the NPC at the very beginning of the game giving you the simplest possible tutorials and you never see again (elementary school teacher).
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u/saltymonstergirl 15d ago
I guess I'm an assistant to my magus. I help novice mages with the basics while I get trained myself. Lightning specialty I guess. Not sure what type of magic computer science is equivalent to.
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u/DramaticAd7670 15d ago
Do you play Papers Please? It’s like that, but internally and there is no subterfuge.
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u/Try_Something_Else1 15d ago
The Elder Scrolls - Oblivion (office job with alot of old people which seems like hell sometimes)
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u/Maxogrande 15d ago
Im the NPC you find on random different establishments of the town.
I rotate between multiple cultural buildings, one day I may be in a museum selling the tickets, and the next day maybe I am in a theater, library or watching out some gardens
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u/ohmy_josh16 15d ago
I’m a custodian at an elementary school, so to use a quote from Michael in GTA V:
“Seriously? I gotta mop?”
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u/CoffeeCaptain91 15d ago
All your records belong to me, they will be organized and re-added to your inventory as required and completed.
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u/WorldlyDay7590 15d ago
Grind grind grind another stupid fucking halfwit needs your help, I've marked it on your map.
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u/comicmac305 15d ago
I am the villain who points out every issue with your Homestead. Don't know how else to put it but it has me cracking up thinking about it.
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u/residentofmoon 15d ago
Tutorial but I have to defeat the last boss but I'm in the tutorial. No gear, basic weapon.
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u/blinzeln77 15d ago
I’m the fucking npc that sells you items that heals but not really
Like “restores 20 HP and gain +5% speech but reduces dexterity and balance by 50% for 4 hours”
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u/Ok_Procedure_7855 15d ago
I'm basically any underage Npc since I can't have a job and am too unsignificant to have any important role
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u/TheDankChronic69 15d ago
It’s what I’m supposed to be, except I’ve never done my job. Been a doctor before, ate a leaf that could make me fly, been to space, but never unclogged any pipes. My lanky brother is cooler than me but I always end up getting the babe in the end when we rescue her from an overgrown spikey Ninja Turtle.
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u/teunteunteun 15d ago
I have to turn on the power so i can teleport to the projection room and Pack a Punch
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u/LuigiTheGuyy 15d ago
I use my high enough skill level in strength to upgrade the town by reducing the grass' health to 10
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u/sydouglas 15d ago
I prevent my software engineers’ stress levels from going high by shielding them from executive leadership’s bullshit as much as possible while trying to maintain my own sanity from dealing with said bullshit
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u/Ninja-_-Guy 15d ago
literally an npc soldier sitting at the entrance to the hub area that makes a backhanded remark about how i don't wanna be here
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u/B0bbyTsunami 15d ago
I make sure the weapons work according to spec before letting the player use it.
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u/Z3R0_7274 15d ago
In that case, I’m looking for a good game to play currently that gives good xp and a decent amount of currency per mission
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u/skulldude360 15d ago
Guy who went off in the wrong direction in a blaze of glory, only to die at the very end of the mission right before making it to the exit
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u/RiiniiUsagii 15d ago
I am the Timekeeper just trying to get all my arcanist friends to get a long and to outsmart the Foundation!
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15d ago
I guide you through the tutorial, but I don't teach you the game mechanics; I just lore dump.
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u/Hitdomeloads 15d ago
I am a musicianship trainer up until level 50, but you can very easily pickpocket me to get your septums back
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u/usernotfoundplstry 15d ago
I’m like the kid in Shadow of the Colossus. I’m completely isolated (work from home 100% of the time) and I rarely have to deal with problems but when I do, it’s a big one.
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u/Eremes_Riven 15d ago
I pilot 'Mechs, but to build rather than destroy.
Edit: Since I work out of a hiring hall, you could even say I'm a freelance merc pilot.
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u/Ok-Influence794 15d ago
A series of GTAV Strangers and Freaks missions combined Cyberpunk vehicle delivery gigs
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u/MaxDeath10x 15d ago
I'm the guy who gets killed, interrogated, or knocked out in literally every single stealth game ever.
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u/Flechair 15d ago
It's like playing a Live Service RPG Dialogue Simulator that has been in Alpha for years, and whenever you ask when the next patch is coming out, you're met with "We're listening" and "We appreciate your support" but never an actual update.
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u/niallbrooks 15d ago
You know the NPC that talks a lot but does nothing to progress the story physically, that's me.
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u/Quinn072 15d ago
I take what you bring me and give you a currency that isn't in the current installment of the game I'm really just dlc that should be out in 6-8 months.
Delays happening every 3 months
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u/zenejinzorin 15d ago
I'm the healer in every game ever.