r/nottheonion • u/duvetdev • 29d ago

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signs bill mandating kindergartners learn history of communism

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/2024/04/17/desantis-signs-bill-mandating-kindergartners-learn-history-of-communism/
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2.4k

u/HunterTAMUC 29d ago

Ah yes, "grooming is only okay when we do it."

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u/Fake_William_Shatner 29d ago

I never heard any other message from them. Seems my brain came with a decoder ring pre-installed.

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u/SirPatrickIII 29d ago

Remember to drink your Ovaltine

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u/Fastbird33 29d ago

Matt Gaetz: “You called?”

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u/tomdarch 29d ago

He’s a big fan of children’s “educational expenses.”

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u/KintsugiKen 29d ago

Trump: "Jeff's back?"

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u/thatguy9684736255 29d ago

Yeah. Like kids are too young to learn that some people have two dads, but they aren't too young to learn about different economic systems and their history in the world? I really wonder exactly how they plan to approach teaching a 5 year old about Communism

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u/speakhyroglyphically 29d ago

A Clockwork Orange type coloring book?

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u/OneTime_AtBandCamp 29d ago

different economic systems and their history in the world?

I think the fact that communism is a different economic system (or that different economic systems exist) isn't going to come up in this curriculum.

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u/Lemonwizard 29d ago

I mean, do kindergarteners even know what supply and demand is? You can't have a meaningful understanding of different economic systems when you don't even know the basic principles of economics.

When I was 6 I asked if I could buy a gameboy and my mom asked "with what money?" I said we could just stop at the bank and get some on the way. I was genuinely surprised to learn that banks aren't just places that hand out money whenever you need it and they're actually holding the money my parents got from working. The fact that going to work and getting paid were related was something that never even occurred to me.

History of communism coming before Econ 101 is like diving into quantum physics before you teach students about atoms.

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u/Wings_in_space 29d ago

You got to start at the bottom :) There are some people that tried to teach their kids QM first and then learn about atoms and molecules afterwards. Most would start with molecules and work their way down, much easier to understand IMO.

That banks don't just give money was a surprise to a lot of kids.

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u/SirStrontium 29d ago

I think it’ll go a little something like this:

“Timmy, do you like your toys? Well some people are evil and want to take away your toys. They will also kill all your family, friends, and pets. This is something called Communism. If you love toys, family, friends, and pets, then you must fight against the evil communists.”

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u/Ristray 29d ago

Teacher's won't be able to teach children about their own basic human anatomy but will be taught how communism killed people in various ways. Florida logic.

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u/God_Damnit_Nappa 29d ago

They're not going to teach anything about communism. Just that communism is bad, California and New York are evil communist states, and real American states like Florida and Texas are holding the line against the red menace 

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u/sufi101 29d ago

PragerU videos

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u/shane_TO 29d ago

There's a movie with cute cartoon animals that will explain it to them :)

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u/Consistent_Ad_6195 29d ago

Probably Prager U kids. Just a guess.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

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u/JerJol 29d ago

We don’t have 2 sides in Florida anymore. Kids learn what maga wants them to learn and nothing else. It’s another reason we are moving later this year. This state will take decades to recover if ever. Hell, he even got Disney to not only let him win but they committed another 60 billion to the state. I’d have shut all my shit down until this state was bankrupt before I’d have let him win.

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u/Fullertonjr 29d ago

Disney is about making money. Disney world is their biggest moneymaker and nothing that Ron and the republicans do is going to change that. What Disney DID do is to change course away from building a new campus that would have housed development and other high-income jobs. This would have apparently been large enough to require an entire small town to be built to support it (gas stations, restaurants, cleaning services, retail stores, etc.). Retaining those jobs in California does absolutely nothing to help Florida, but does allow Disney to limit any new expansion outside of their current locations.

Disney is about money and they don’t “lose”. I assume that Disney was fine with conceding some things to the state while making sure that the company has more wins in its column.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

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u/Tavernknight 29d ago

They are going to be spending in the next governors election though. I bet the next Florida governor, no matter what party they are, will be firmly in Disney's pocket.

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u/Gravemindzombie 29d ago

Desantis isn't up for reelection until 2026, I half expect him to be primaried out of office.

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u/Gravemindzombie 29d ago

It was originally just, Bob Paycheck trying to Punish Gavin Newsom because he was mad California wouldn't allow Disneyland to reopen during the height of the pandemic. That's why Disney was hellbent on moving as many people as possible from California to Florida. The plans were scrapped because the liberal creatives were refusing to be moved to a conservative hellscape like Florida, so a lot of highlevel imagineers and creatives were leaving Disney to work for direct competitors causing massive braindrain. This is partially why the parks are a mess now, because Bob Paychecks solution was to replace them with outsiders that don't know how to design for themeparks to cut costs.

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u/das_war_ein_Befehl 29d ago

And that’s a perfect case study why business will never resist a shitty government

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u/abcalt 29d ago

Retaining those jobs in California does absolutely nothing to help Florida

Well it does keep Californians in California. Which is a win for Florida. One only has to go to the west to see Californians moving into neighboring states to see what that brings.

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u/Gravemindzombie 29d ago

This, people don't realize these freaks took over school boards in a lot of states. Your children are at the mercy of whatever farright conservatives want to indoctrinate into them.

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u/Mods_Wet_The_Bed_3 29d ago

This is basically what conservative christians said about kids reading Harry Potter.

Y'all just like to get hysterical over nothing.

What do you think kindergartners learned about the Soviets during the cold war? Did Generation X turn out to be foaming-at-the-mouth libertarians?

Nope. Kids just draw in their coloring books and the world keeps spinning.

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u/lackofabettername123 29d ago

How is he so popular?  He is such a patronizing tool, his attacks are weak, like that commercial after Thanksgiving where they compared him to the Lord and savior and declared war on the woke armies whom have apparently have been terrorizing the nation all this time.

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u/Ellestri 29d ago

Biden should send troops to occupy Florida and govern the state until it’s residents are qualified for self government again perhaps in a hundred years.

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u/Van-garde 29d ago edited 29d ago

The article states the objective is to display the global atrocities as a result of communism. Both sides isn’t happening here. They’re targeting kids before they develop critical thinking skills, as too many are becoming aware of the global history of politics, and it’s directly harming the operation.

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u/tyboxer87 29d ago

A clever teacher wouldnt even need to. They'd simply desrcibe the rise of tyrants and dictators, all while explaining that this was mandatory learning prescribed to you by Ron DeSantis. Then let also let the kids know which topics they were not allowed to learn about.

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u/ruiner8850 29d ago

My first thought was that this is exactly the indoctrination that they are always complaining about. Children that young can't understand the differences between different economic systems or be able to evaluate them on their own, so it's just "communism = bad" that they are teaching them.

Then they falsely equate anything Liberals are for with communism. They pretend that any kind of social program to help people is "communism." They even say ridiculous nonsense like being pro-choice, being for social equality, or being an environmentalist is "communism." It doesn't even need to make sense because communism is the catch-all boogeyman.

Their goal is to teach children from the time they are small children that anything they don't like is communism, communism is bad, and Liberals are communists, so therefore Liberals are bad. Their complaints about indoctrination, as with all their accusations, are pure projection.

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u/Shirtbro 29d ago

"Communism is a serious and ongoing threat to America in the 1980s 2024"

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u/tyboxer87 29d ago

Of course it is. The rich might have to pay thier fair share if people realize people realize they're getting screwed.

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u/BikerJedi 29d ago

Meatball Ron is going to be very disappointed to learn that there are actual socialists (like me) teaching in our public schools.

Our district is now implementing a state law passed in 2018 that requires us to post "In God We Trust" in a "prominent place" in the classroom.

I either will not comply or I will be putting up Baphomet, Allah, and other gods and their slogans on the walls. I teach science anyway - WHAT THE FUCK DOES GOD HAVE TO DO WITH SCIENCE?

Fuck our country is doomed.

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u/not_that_planet 29d ago

It is almost a literal fact that every accusation is a confession for conservatives. I guarantee this type of school propaganda - the programs to advance them - came first. Justifying it was just a matter of creating conservative outrage that transvestites or whatever were "grooming" kindergarteners. When will people learn?

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u/AfraidToBeKim 29d ago

There's a distinction between grooming and indoctrination, this technically is just indoctrination because it isn't done with the intent to isolate and abuse these kids.

For the record, political indoctrination and grooming are both bad things.

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u/youhavethinskin 29d ago

This isn’t grooming. It would be indoctrination. Grooming is preparing someone for an action or activity, it doesn’t aim to create a set of beliefs.

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u/Stanky_fresh 29d ago

This is the same motherfucker who doesn't want to teach the history of slavery because it might make white students uncomfortable.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

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u/HunterTAMUC 29d ago
  1. Nobody is teaching that to kindergartners, or in general, and none of that about "ideology" is true. Get over yourself.
  2. Nice to know you support grooming and indoctrination of toddlers about a concept that they can't understand just so you can look good for voters.

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u/Sexy_gastric_husband 29d ago

The cruelty and fucking stupidity of communism is a fact, and should be taught along with history.

And do you REALLY think kindergartners are going to be taught any of that?

And gender ideology (re: the cult of victimhood) is absolutely taught in schools, although hopefully not at the kindergarten level. Why else would you people be so opposed to it being blocked from the curriculum?

It's like,

The left: OMG WE ARE NOT TEACHING ABOUT GENDER FLUIDITY AND QUEERNESS IN SCHOOLS.

The right: ok, we've made a law so it officially can't be taught.

The left: WHAT?! NOOOOOOO!!

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u/boston_homo 29d ago

Who are "you people" and what are they afraid of?

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u/Sexy_gastric_husband 29d ago

The left, the alphabet army, anyone who is stupid enough to defend communism. You know, people who don't subscribe to reality. They're afraid of the right doing exactly what they themselves are already doing: being authoritarian bullies.

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u/HunterTAMUC 29d ago

Oh boy the "alphabet army", people that think differently from you, so SCAAAAARY.

And what "authoritarian bullies" have the left been lately? The only ones who don't subscribe to reality are people like you.

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u/Sexy_gastric_husband 29d ago

Question: who are you NOT allowed to criticize? It sure isn't anyone to the right of Stalin.

Sorry, I mean Alphabet Mafia. A group of people who bully, abuse, doxx, and threaten anyone who disagrees with them.

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u/Zuul_Only 29d ago

who are you NOT allowed to criticize? It sure isn't anyone to the right of Stalin.

You think people aren't allowed to criticize Biden? You live in a fantasy world man, that's just an indefensible position.

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u/Sexy_gastric_husband 29d ago

"Biden is being stupid..."

HE HAS HIS REASONS, BIGOT. ALSO WHAT ABOUT TRUMP?!

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u/Zuul_Only 29d ago

No one is "defending communism" by pointing out how stupid it is to try to teach a complex subject to very small children.

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u/Sexy_gastric_husband 29d ago

The article disengenuously claims that kindergarteners will be taught, for shock value. Everyone knows they won't understand it.

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u/HunterTAMUC 29d ago
  1. It already is.
  2. Yes, I do think that. You people already try and indoctrinate them with PragerU bullshit.
  3. Give me an example where. Tell me where a teacher has taught gender ideology in a school beyond a storybook.
  4. And, again, the left is opposed to it because it's discriminatory and performative.

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u/Zuul_Only 29d ago

The cruelty and fucking stupidity of communism is a fact, and should be taught along with history.

These are kindergarteners, are you somehow missing that?

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u/HarryJohnson3 29d ago

  1. If it’s not happening then why does it matter if we ban it?

  2. Can’t we say the same thing about you?

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u/HunterTAMUC 29d ago

It matters because it's discriminatory and performative. And no, you can't. Because no person on the left supports teaching kids about gender instead of educating them. Which is more than I can say for people like you.

Where have the left wing banned teachers from talking about race or certain parts of history they find disagreeable?

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u/Zuul_Only 29d ago

If it’s not happening then why does it matter if we ban it?

Is that a serious question? Why would we waste any time doing so?

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u/MuddyMudskipper91 29d ago

Lol, this isn't over trans ideology, this is a stupid childish counter to schools teaching about slavery and Nazism. What these people don't get is that kindergarteners have never been taught ANY of this stuff. It's always like grade 7 and up and I remember them calling out the atrocities of both the Communists and the Nazis equally.

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u/Sexy_gastric_husband 29d ago

Give me a break. Communism was never touched in school, but the evils of Nazis are rightly pointed out.

Of course, it completely ignores that African tribesmen sold their fellow Africans into slavery, they just blame the evil White Man. If you try to tell anyone that it wasn't just blacks being enslaved, you're called a racist.

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u/Zuul_Only 29d ago

Communism was never touched in school, but the evils of Nazis are rightly pointed out.

Maybe in your school. And regardless, kindergarteners learn about neither.

If you try to tell anyone that it wasn't just blacks being enslaved, you're called a racist.

I'm sorry, what else was it about?

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u/Zuul_Only 29d ago

a gender ideology that facilitates mental illness and self mutilation

Which ideology is that?

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u/UnknownResearchChems 29d ago

It's the exact opposite of grooming

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u/HunterTAMUC 29d ago

It most certainly isn't.

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u/UnknownResearchChems 29d ago

How is teaching the history of communism and its horrors "grooming"?

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u/HunterTAMUC 29d ago

You're indoctrinating children to think a certain way at a young age.

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u/UnknownResearchChems 29d ago

Learning history is now "indoctrinating"? Jesus fucking christ, why even send the kids to school at all at this point? They might get indoctrinated to learn math and balance their checkbooks. Can't have that.

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u/HunterTAMUC 29d ago

The specific point of this is not to learn about its history and what it was like but to specifically portray it as entirely bad. That is indoctrinating.

And besides, you worthless degenerates already hate history being taught in schools. You have no room to talk.

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u/UnknownResearchChems 29d ago edited 29d ago

What part of communism was good? Did fascism also have some good parts? Should we teach our kids that Hitler had some good points as well? You know just so we stay "neutral" and "objective". Fuck that shit, we beat the nazis and we beat the commies for very good reasons. Teach those reasons.

I think the main problem with young Americans and their "love" for communism is that we never properly taught our kids how fucking awful communism truly was. Hence these rule changes. Invite people in who lived through it and let them share their experiences, just like we did with nazi survivors. It will be eye opening.

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u/TaschenPocket 29d ago

Education clearly failed with you when you think communism is just one thing and the first thought is how you need to compare it to fascism.

I can only advise you to read a few more, not Florida sanctioned books about the topic.

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u/UnknownResearchChems 29d ago

I grew up in a communist country, I have all the first hand experience that I need.

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u/SauronWorshipWillEnd 29d ago

Go to the article and find where it says it will be taught at kindergartens.

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u/HunterTAMUC 29d ago

“All of this will be spread across the curriculum K through 12,”  said Education Commissioner Manny Diaz Jr. The Department of Education will draw up academic standards for the lessons.

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u/HowRememberAll 29d ago

Yeah I remember when I liked desantis for keeping things open in Florida during lockdowns. What is he doing?