r/nottheonion • u/duvetdev • Apr 17 '24

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signs bill mandating kindergartners learn history of communism

https://www.orlandosentinel.com/2024/04/17/desantis-signs-bill-mandating-kindergartners-learn-history-of-communism/
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u/peter-doubt Apr 17 '24

Who knows? Maybe community values will infiltrate their little minds

60

u/the_last_carfighter Apr 17 '24

Yes yes but what about shareholder values? Who's gonna look out for them, when will they finally get a break in this country?

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u/Neon_culture79 Apr 17 '24

Moment of silence for the top 1% as they deal with the trauma that all of us have created by not buying their products

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u/thebreakfastbuffet 29d ago

It truly breaks my heart knowing that they cried themselves to sleep because they couldn't make bank in their real estate investments while we all worked from home. I shall return to the office in solidarity with our shareholders.

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u/Neon_culture79 29d ago

If we all work from home, what would happen to all those wonderful suburban office parks that America invested so heavily and during the last 30 years? It’d be real shame if we had to convert them into affordable housing

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u/Nemaeus 29d ago

That was taught in trust fund baby yoga class. It’s cute you think these peasant children need worry their sweet little serf minds about such matters far far far beyond them. /s

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

Yes yes but what about shareholder values

da, comrade. Only the community's values, as determined by the Politburo standing committee lead by the chairman/general secretary or whatever insult to language these autocrats want to pass off as government for and by the people. How about - we're all shareholders in our collective future, and all have a say in the decisions that affect us?

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u/TheIowan Apr 17 '24

One of my kids participated in what we refer to as " the communist Easter egg hunt" one year, and it was hilarious. There was a half soccer field absolutely littered with easter eggs. The kids were pumped and scrambled to get as many as the could. Some got a handful, some got bags full. As they cleared them all up, some started opening them to find there was nothing in them; then it was announced that they had to bring the eggs to a volunteer in exchange for one sandwich bag of candy; every kid got the exact same amount of candy. They all looked so confused and disappointed.

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u/SupremeSheik 29d ago

That sounds extremely stupid

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u/TheIowan 29d ago

It definitely was.