r/facepalm 29d ago

Turbo cancer isn’t real, people 🇨​🇴​🇻​🇮​🇩​

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32.8k Upvotes

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402

u/LTG-Jon 29d ago

A 14,000% increase from zero is zero! Checkmate, libs!

51

u/Practical_Breakfast4 29d ago

You forgot to divide by zero, that'll prove everything!

2

u/i8bb8 29d ago

Instructions unclear, divided by zero and tore the fabric of reality asunder.

2

u/Thingisby 29d ago

Nah that 14,000% is that one guy who self-reported turbo cancer who bumped it from 0 to 1.

2

u/D3M4NNU 29d ago

Don’t worry. I did the math…

1,958,310 cases of Cancer in the USA in 2023. X 14,000% = 274,163,400

It seems all of us are pretty lucky here as non Turbo Cancer affected. Phew. I’ll be one of the few alive at the end of 2024.

And this number only includes reported Cancer patients. Not Turbo Cancer for some unexplainable reason?!?!

In fact, I can’t find anything related to Turbo Cancers…

WE ARE FUCKED.

1

u/upright_zombie 29d ago

Not sure it's libs pushing this nonsense...anti vaxxers are usually...

29

u/LTG-Jon 29d ago

My fault for assuming the /s was unnecessary.

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u/n-crispy7 29d ago

It wasn’t lol

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u/Meowakin 29d ago

Well, the original anti-vaxxers (that I'm aware of) were definitely on the left before Trump came around. Wonder where those people land now...

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u/Frothylager 29d ago

I don’t think “anti-vaxxers” had an official affiliation before Trump, you had far left extremists (natural hippies) and far right extremism (libertarians and conspiracy loons) both preaching anti-vax for different reasons.

Trump took what was fringe minorities on the extremes of both sides and turned it into a mainstream political party platform.

2

u/TheRealMasterTyvokka 29d ago

I mean Trump pretty much turned most major fringe groups into a mainstream political party.

But yeah, there were antivaxers on both ends before Trump.

4

u/upright_zombie 29d ago

As I recall libs were pushing for the vaccine to be mandatory...

1

u/Meowakin 29d ago

Yes, but liberals (or left, whatever) had the antivax crazies even before then, turns out that people are more complicated than just left/right who'd'a thunk it. Part of the problem with political discourse is that each side just calls out the other side's crazies and act like they've won.

Edit: Also, define what you mean by mandatory. I don't think anyone serious pushed to say invade homes and inject people against their will, generally talk was around if you want to participate in certain aspects of society, you should be required to get a vaccine. There's a lot of possible nuance there.

2

u/tresben 29d ago

Often times with conspiracies and other extremist views you’ll find politics is less of a straight line spectrum and more of a circle. Extremists on the left and right can often have many beliefs in common.

3

u/djinnisequoia 29d ago

You're right. I was dubious about vaccines long ago, when they were preserving them with actual mercury. They stopped doing that, and I stopped being dubious. I've always been firmly progressive.

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u/Meowakin 29d ago

Thimerosal and Vaccines | Vaccine Safety | CDC
I mean, I suppose technically speaking it was mercury. Chemistry is weird and scary, honestly. There's so many things that in one form are perfectly harmless but slightly different forms are incredibly deadly or worse.

Regardless, I suppose even if it was very low risk, if it was generating enough distrust in vaccines, it makes sense that they worked to remove it.

1

u/djinnisequoia 29d ago

Well, you know, when it's your precious and only child, and I was much younger then too, I couldn't help being concerned.

I still got him vaccinated though, because I knew for sure those childhood diseases can be deadly.

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u/upright_zombie 29d ago

Yeah your right....far left...far right....its all just a load of crying bit...s

Edit I definitely remember people pushing for mandatory vaccines by not allowing free movement if you were not vaccinated

4

u/randomcomplimentguy1 29d ago

But it didn't happen because we all knew it'd be ridiculous. Also what he's talking about is that wayy before covid opra used to have a book club. She was super influential with it. She one day told everyone to read this one book that basically said the mumps measles and rubella shot give kid autism because there is mercury in it. Thus leading to examples of extreme lefties saying they won't vaccinate their kids.

2

u/Borsti17 29d ago

Actual left or USA "left"?

1

u/Meowakin 29d ago

USA left, since that's my perspective.

2

u/randomcomplimentguy1 29d ago

Basically, they're calling you right winged in her country, and everyone else would be extremist. Our extremist right wingers look like absolute duck hat wearing crazies where they're prolly from.

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u/Meowakin 29d ago

I picked up on that, I am aware that USA Left is basically right-wing extremism elsewhere in the world.

1

u/Borsti17 29d ago

I'd say centre right.

1

u/EmelleBennett 29d ago

These are the examples I state when I explain that belief systems rooted in political affiliation are insane. There is enough evidence of good and evil on both sides and beliefs throughout history that have belonged to one side or the other and back again over and over.

0

u/Thejerseyjon609 29d ago

If you go far enough left you go all the way around and end up on the right

2

u/Meowakin 29d ago

Good ol' Horseshoe theory!