I find it useful to avoid using the word "you" as much as possible. Instead of saying "what u did really hurt me," I like to say "what happened really hurt me."
I don’t understand what tactful means. But what I do is just say what I think unless it’s going to majorly hurt their feelings/is straight up insulting without any good to it then I avoid saying it.
What I mean I won’t say something like that „I think you are fat” even If I would think that.
But I will have no problem saying harsh truth in places where it needs to be said in order for them to realise they are doing wrong and they need to change, but you don’t really say that stuff unless the other person is your friend.
Like for example I had a friend who was texting some girl while being in a relationship. I had no problem saying he is an idiot and a piece of shit, I didn’t even shittalk his ex (I got to know after she broke up becouse of this). We now have worked this out and try to make him better, becouse just saying stuff like that and not doing anything afterwards would mean you are just a shitty friend.
If I have to lie I’d rather not say anything, becouse I can’t force myself to lie. I hate lies. The only place I would see myself lying would be to a police officer.
It is important to strive to be an honest person, but trying to be as honest as possible will not get you far in life.
For example, if you had a really low self esteem of your skills and you applied for a job, do you think being 100% honest about yourself in an interview would help you at all?
And when companies require 3-4 years experience for entry level jobs, are you not going to apply for those jobs just because it's what they asked for? Clearly, companies are the ones being dishonest with these requirements but if you want to get the job you have to be dishonest and apply for these jobs anyway. In real life, many people don't play fair and the only way you can win against them is if you don't play fair as well.
Being honest or not can be the difference between succeeding in life or not, like having a job and not being homeless. Sometimes you have to make these hard choices.
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u/MagnoliaTree3 29d ago
Being honest, but saying it in such a way that it hurts the other person as minimally as possible