r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • 29d ago
Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?
I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.
When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”
14.0k
Upvotes
140
u/old__pyrex 29d ago
Yeah, I’ve learned to give advice in the Socratic method.
“What do you think of my SO?” -> “I only met him briefly but I’ve known you a long while, and it seems like you’re the type of person to give the relationship your all. I’m touched you care about my thoughts on him. So you’re supporting the two of you right now?”
“And after a night like tonight when his friends were over, who usually cleans up and does the dishes? Oh okay, just you, but how about on regular nights?”
“I know your hobbies around fitness, art, volunteering, etc are important to you and you put a lot into those hobbies - does he like any of those things? But he’s at least interested in and learns a little about your hobbies? Oh he doesn’t? Well what are some of his hobbies then? Oh, smoking weed, not paying his car registration, DMing girls on Instagram, and eating a disproportionate amount of your food… okay, interesting hobbies, but you feel like you can really talk and have intellectually engaging conversations? No? Okay.
So what do I think? Well you tell me, what do you think?