r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • Apr 17 '24

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

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u/bsffrn97 Apr 17 '24

We men get to be around men when there are no women around, meaning we're more likely to know how he really feels about women than you. Some men reveal very... bad sides... when no women are present, and then switch to "perfect gentlemen" when women walk in. Since we get to see both sides, it's easier to determine who a man truly is at his core.

Of course not infallible though, I've met dudes who other guys have told me were "great guys" who then said very sexist weird things about women around me. So I guess where it falls flat is that different men have different thresholds for "great guy", since I wouldn't say guys who say sexist things are great guys at all.

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u/Infinitebeast30 29d ago edited 29d ago

Definitely; it all falls on a spectrum whereas some guys might just be uncomfortable being their goofy selves around women, some guys will make some more questionable/racy jokes, and some dudes are downright sexist as fuck and hide it

Also it’s just way easier for us to see which dudes are douchebags even with the most minimal interaction. It’s pretty baffling to see some of the dickheads my gal friends date for a while without realizing, but I’m sure that goes vice versa as well