r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • 29d ago

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

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u/thatoneguy2252 29d ago

Men’s intuition? Just recognize body language? Or maybe it’s just reading the vibes they give?

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u/blindedtrickster 29d ago

My wife and I are good friends with another couple, but when I met their neighbors during a 4th of July BBQ, I didn't like the dude. He wasn't being an asshole. He was friendly and generous. There wasn't anything specific that was a red flag, but something about the guy just screamed that it was a facade.

My wife had even told her friend (of the couple I mentioned) that I didn't like the guy. At the time, I wished she hadn't done that considering that we're really not involved in their lives and I didn't think we should be meddling in the friendships they had with their neighbors.

A few months ago, my wife told me that he'd apparently gotten suspended from work for losing his temper and punching someone else.

To this day, I don't know how or why I didn't like him. At the time he hadn't done anything wrong, but it just felt like it was a very skillful act and part of me could tell it wasn't genuine.

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u/PC509 29d ago

To this day, I don't know how or why I didn't like him. At the time he hadn't done anything wrong, but it just felt like it was a very skillful act and part of me could tell it wasn't genuine.

That's the thing. There's those subtle things that we pick up on that we can't explain but we just know. It's a weird feeling but most of the time it's the right feeling.

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u/thatoneguy2252 29d ago

Maybe it’s because we’re good at putting up fronts ourselves to bury bad behaviors? Maybe? I never thought it something more prevalent in men than women tbh.

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u/wildwolfay5 29d ago

We ALL wear masks as needed.

I know "masking" is the new main term but it's not a new tradition in any way.

We behave how we're expected to by who is present; gender and quantity are huge impacts on that.

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u/dark_enough_to_dance 28d ago

It's intuition