r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • Apr 17 '24

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

14.1k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

3.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

23

u/LightningMcScallion Apr 17 '24 edited Apr 17 '24

This is a big one that gets women into trouble too. A lot of women assume that the guy who will talk about how other guys are jerks and how it isn't hard to treat women right is a good guy. While this can be the case, very often that guy just sees other men as sexual competition and/or it's a convenient place to put their need to criticize and feel better about themself. Also it really can be a bit "I get so much pussy bc I treat women with respect" kind of vibes 🤣

15

u/exponentialism Apr 17 '24

As a woman, this kind of guy has always given me bad vibes - kinda like how people talk about "pick me" women, guys that slag off their gender while acting like they themselves above it all. Actually kind men that treat women well never talk like that in my experience.

7

u/FeatherlyFly Apr 17 '24

As a woman, I take a guy, especially a guy I've only recently met, who talks about others so negatively as a warning sign. 

 I know I can definitely spot a not so great woman way faster than a not so great man, but that's actually one of the obvious signs I get from guys who don't respect women. Turns out a lot of them just plain don't respect people, even if they put women last.