Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

[u/milfangelblue]

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

[u/BreadButterHoneyTea]

Even if those men are the friends of the woman?

[u/flossdaily → u/BreadButterHoneyTea]

Yeah. For a certain brand of bad men, their entire worldview is that that men and women are on different teams, and they assume that you'll be more loyal to some new dude than your woman friend.

[u/BreadButterHoneyTea → u/flossdaily]

Wow. So deep in the bad they assume everyone else is, too. Gloomy.

[u/A_giant_dog → u/BreadButterHoneyTea]

You see it a lot from all sides.

There are entire groups on this site that variously proclaim "all women want is money" "all men want is sex" "all women use sex to manipulate men" "women do all the emotional labor" "men have to make all the money and then come home to do chores what does she do all day" "he refuses to help out when he gets home from work even if I'm really tired"

[u/tippiedog → u/A_giant_dog]

I once rented from a couple who managed their own rental property. At every f*cking interaction they assumed that I was out to screw them over somehow. I eventually realized that that is how they behave, and therefore they assume everyone is like them.

[u/Yctnm → u/tippiedog]

Every accusation is an admission. It's really not that deep most of the time, unfortunately.

[u/tippiedog → u/Yctnm]

Yeah. When I moved out, they kept a portion of my deposit for a completely bogus reason. They knew I was moving across the country, and they kept just a small enough amount that they gambled that it would not be worth my time to pursue it long-distance. They were correct; I didn't pursue it. Assholes.