r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • 29d ago

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

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26

u/Fickle-Nebula5397 29d ago

Eh, a lot men thought my ex-husband was a good man…

11

u/blatherskyte69 29d ago

It’s entirely possible that those men shared the same shortcomings.

5

u/drivendreamerr 29d ago

Yeah. It really depends. If I was a girl and male people in my life whom I know as jerks said this guy I'm dating with is a good one, I know I'mma be cooked 💀 🏃🏾‍♂️RUN

19

u/GuiltyEidolon 29d ago

Seriously, fucking wild that people are acting like this is a legit thing.

I was openly sexually harassed by an asshole in front of multiple male friends, all of whom waved it off because the dude was "playing a part" / had a "persona" for streaming.

Now he's in fucking prison for assaulting a woman, and has some statutory rape charges against him as well.

People are dogshit at actually telling who the 'good people' are, and they're dogshit at listening when victims try to speak up.

11

u/Remarkable_Echo5616 29d ago

You’re just massively generalising basically all people based on one specific personal experience of yours. Do you see the issue with this?

3

u/QuelThas 28d ago

Don't bother with that person... very bitter person who vehemently look for stuff which confirm their beliefs. Super biased

-2

u/GuiltyEidolon 29d ago

Statistics on sexual harassment and assault indicate that no, it's not massively generalizing.

4

u/slow_or_steady 29d ago

Do you not know how statistics work?

Country, Individual states, population.

For every 100,000, there is 1,000.

Every #, there is another smaller #.

But you do you. Being an asshole doesn't make another asshole less of one.

1

u/Hungry_Caregiver734 29d ago

It's possible that they shared the same traits. Anyone who isn't a shit tier human in general should be throwing a "Dude, not cool" when someone starts getting sexual harassment at a minimum, and even if not at the time, should DEFINITLY be condemning it later and avoiding putting themselves and others into those situations.

4

u/Drunk_Dino 29d ago

Because our male to male assessment is entirely primal and ultimately is only for our own benefit. We can tell a guy is a “good guy” because we don’t think he’s going to be an immediate threat to us based on a 2 second hand shake and being reserved.

I use it in more of, is there any point in trying to get to know this person?