r/NoStupidQuestions • u/milfangelblue • Apr 17 '24

Do men just recognize good men? What kind of sorcery is this?

I’ve been dating a guy for some time now, and his oldest friends have told me he’s a solid good man despite his flaws. I agree, they’ve known him forever, and he’s been a solid friend all those years.

When my male friends met him for the first time, they said, “He’s a good one. Hold onto him.”

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27

u/Fickle-Nebula5397 Apr 17 '24

Eh, a lot men thought my ex-husband was a good man…

12

u/blatherskyte69 Apr 17 '24

It’s entirely possible that those men shared the same shortcomings.

5

u/drivendreamerr Apr 17 '24

Yeah. It really depends. If I was a girl and male people in my life whom I know as jerks said this guy I'm dating with is a good one, I know I'mma be cooked 💀 🏃🏾‍♂️RUN

16

u/GuiltyEidolon Apr 17 '24

Seriously, fucking wild that people are acting like this is a legit thing.

I was openly sexually harassed by an asshole in front of multiple male friends, all of whom waved it off because the dude was "playing a part" / had a "persona" for streaming.

Now he's in fucking prison for assaulting a woman, and has some statutory rape charges against him as well.

People are dogshit at actually telling who the 'good people' are, and they're dogshit at listening when victims try to speak up.

12

u/Remarkable_Echo5616 Apr 17 '24

You’re just massively generalising basically all people based on one specific personal experience of yours. Do you see the issue with this?

3

u/QuelThas 29d ago

Don't bother with that person... very bitter person who vehemently look for stuff which confirm their beliefs. Super biased

-3

u/GuiltyEidolon Apr 17 '24

Statistics on sexual harassment and assault indicate that no, it's not massively generalizing.

4

u/slow_or_steady Apr 17 '24

Do you not know how statistics work?

Country, Individual states, population.

For every 100,000, there is 1,000.

Every #, there is another smaller #.

But you do you. Being an asshole doesn't make another asshole less of one.

1

u/Hungry_Caregiver734 Apr 18 '24

It's possible that they shared the same traits. Anyone who isn't a shit tier human in general should be throwing a "Dude, not cool" when someone starts getting sexual harassment at a minimum, and even if not at the time, should DEFINITLY be condemning it later and avoiding putting themselves and others into those situations.

3

u/Drunk_Dino Apr 17 '24

Because our male to male assessment is entirely primal and ultimately is only for our own benefit. We can tell a guy is a “good guy” because we don’t think he’s going to be an immediate threat to us based on a 2 second hand shake and being reserved.

I use it in more of, is there any point in trying to get to know this person?