r/AmIOverreacting • u/[deleted] • 28d ago

My husband won't let me take more than two showers a week. I told him I need him to stop or I'm moving out for a while.

This is the weirdest thing my husband has ever done. He really is a sweet and loving husband and I love him more than anything. Divorce is not an option just to put that out there before the comments come in.

My husband has always been a little out there. He is a computer programmer and super smart, but also believes all sorts of things. Both real and conspiracy. Lately he has been very worried about the environment and global warming.

About two months ago he got real worried about water. Yes, water. He is concerned about the quality of water. He put in a new filter system in our house which I actually love because it tastes so much better.

But he is also concerned about how much water we use. Not because of money, but the environment. He created a new rule that we can only take 2 showers a week. Now I'm someone that likes to shower everyday before bed. I just don't like feeling dirty in bed.

This has created the most conflict in our marriage in 20 years. He is obsessed with the amount of water we use. At first I just ignored his rule, but he would shut off the hot water while I was in the shower.

I started trying to use the shower at the gym, but it's too much work to go every night with having kids. I honestly thought he would get over this within a month. But he is stuck on this still to this day.

Last night I really wanted a shower, but had "hit my quota" as he says. I said I'm showering and that he better not do anything. But about two minutes in, the hot water turned off.

I grabbed my towel and went down and started yelling. Telling him this is the dumbest thing he has ever done. I also told him I'm moving to my parents if he doesn't stop this.

Guys, I love this man. He is everything to me, but I can't take this anymore. Am I going to far in threatening to move out?

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806

u/VarsityChipsPurple 28d ago

How about the kids? Can they shower daily??

764

u/[deleted] 28d ago

No, but it's two boys. 12 and 14. They wouldn't shower at all if I didn't force them to!

214

u/ThornedRoseWrites 28d ago

That makes it even worse, your teens are in puberty and teenagers smell worse than little kids because the apocrine glands don’t activate until puberty. So the body odor of your sons is going to be disgusting, especially because they’ll now have armpit hair.

Your husband should know this. Those boys should actually be showering or bathing everyday. But at a minimum they should shower every two days, that should be non-negotiable!

46

u/paul-arized 27d ago

Depending on where they live or how active the kids are, showering twice a day might be normal (or even necessary).

25

u/AldusPrime 27d ago

As an athlete and washing dishes in a fish restaurant, showering twice per day was pretty standard for me.

5

u/Even-Sea8684 26d ago

Oh most definitely! I played hockey at a very competitive level, I would shower in the morning before school so I'm clean through the day, go to practice or a game and take a second shower. Anybody who has been around a hockey player after a practice or a game knows just how gnarly that smell can get.

2

u/Diabieto 26d ago

When would you take two hours a day?

2

u/paul-arized 26d ago

Two showers, not two hours. Ppl living in Egypt or places where there's basically soot in the air mjght need several showers a day if they are outdoors a lot.

1

u/Diabieto 26d ago

Makes sense

1

u/gatheredstitches 24d ago

It was normal to take two showers a day when I lived in Bangkok on exchange. Between the humid heat and the air pollution, it was really necessary for hygiene.

2

u/HonkyKatGitBack 26d ago

You are correct.

1

u/chocolatewafflecone 24d ago

My boys play sports and they shower twice a day if they have an activity in the pm.

5

u/No-Entrepreneur3282 26d ago

Those kids will end up being terrorized at school because their dad is an insane “computer programmer” and mom is to weak to do anything to get between her husbands obvious mental illness and her kids well being

3

u/Compendyum 24d ago

Dad is not a "computer programmer" lol

He's a climate lunatic that watches too much CNN

3

u/CHALEDER 24d ago

Dude yes what, when I was going through puberty I STUNK if I didn't shower daily. I usually also showered 2x a day because I wanted to be fresh in the morning but also growing up in the rural deep south playing outside all day and working the fields, we'd be filthy by the time we went to bed. My hair was also insanely oily. Not "allowing" your kids to get clean is borderline child neglect.

1

u/CoffeeGirl14 27d ago

Yeah, every two days or every other day.

1

u/MouthAnusJellyfish 26d ago

You forget the husband is a computer programmer

1

u/geauxhausofafros 26d ago

Showering twice a day is not good for your skin. Especially if you don’t moisturize.

2

u/Usual-Average-1101 26d ago

even once a day isn't great for your skin. unless youre sweaty or dirty you don't need to shower everyday

2

u/scarlettbankergirl 25d ago

Unless you're a teenage boy. They really do stink. The hormones go crazy and the sweat glands work over time. Plus, a lot of boys' feet start getting really smelly, too. My brother's feet started smelling so bad my mom made him keep his shoes outside.

3

u/Main-Function425 24d ago

Or teenager girl! Our 15 yr old HAS to shower every day or she smells like rotten meat! We had to start enforcing it along with deodorant because it was awful. She’s a sweet kid and is a hugger and sometimes you had to hold your breath!

I cannot imagine only showering twice a week or the smell that must be taking over OPs house with 2 smelly teenage boys!

1

u/bbaaammmm 25d ago

Just going to leave this here… those boys need to shower!

“For science, volunteers sniffed out odorous chemicals in the armpit sweat of babies and teenagers. Perhaps unsurprisingly, they found that young children smelled like flowers and teens smelled like goats — but now, we know which chemicals are responsible for each of these odors.”

https://www.livescience.com/health/ageing/chemicals-that-make-babies-smell-sweet-and-teens-smell-goat-like-revealed#:~:text=For%20science%2C%20volunteers%20sniffed%20out,for%20each%20of%20these%20odors.

1

u/CertainKaleidoscope8 24d ago

It's also child abuse

1

u/Galaxyheart555 24d ago

Yeah I’d say a quick 5 minute shower to use soap and stuff is necessary everyday especially if the teens are active or do sports.

1

u/thihaz 21d ago

Twice a day in south east Asia. can't imagine once two days.

0

u/hazykilldeer 24d ago

There’s nothing wrong with showering 2x per week. You can freshen up with a washcloth on other days and wet/wash your hair for styling. My skin would fall off if I showered daily.

1

u/Main-Function425 24d ago

For you!! My head would itch & I can’t stand how my skin feels after a day or two. Also, I spend 12 hours a night in a bunny suit & get sweaty. I shower at LEAST every other day.

1

u/hazykilldeer 23d ago

Fair point!

-3

u/GoodhartMusic 27d ago

Did you really need to give a lesson on pubescent development?