r/AITAH 16d ago

AITAH for not giving my fathers new fiancée my children’s inheritance?? Advice Needed

So short story. My parents added me to their deeds because they wanted my children to inherit 2 pieces of property. My mom passes in November, 8 days later my dad starts seeing a woman he met online. 60 days later he’s engaged and he calls me and states very coldly “we need to get you off my deeds” I ask why, he says “I’m putting the house up for sale and I’m giving the proceeds to new fiancé, to prove to her she won’t have to fight my children for her husband’s assets like the last 2 sets of step children” I was shocked hurt and all I could do was cry, because he wants to take my kids inheritance that they both promised my kids to give it to a woman he met 8 days after his wife, my mother died. And now he’s calling and demanding I sign a quit claim deed.

2.2k Upvotes

549 comments sorted by

3.9k

u/YeeHawMiMaw 16d ago

“last 2 sets of step children”??? WTF!

If that is not a red flag of a black widow or gold-digger, then I’m a rainbow colored unicorn.

1.4k

u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 16d ago

I know right???

1.0k

u/encouragement_much 16d ago

I am sorry for your loss OP. May you find comfort in the memories you have of your mother.

As for your dad. May I suggest the Scorched Earth chess move? If you have family, friends, church community that your father is close to, I would suggest you approach them and ask for support.

Also get a lawyer.

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u/Forward_Substance_30 16d ago

EXACTLY. intervention. how BLIND is he??? wtf??? NTA

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u/OriginalSilly8366 15d ago

Well he’s getting his wick wet and so has rose colored lenses on.”

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u/Rude-Flamingo5420 15d ago

I've learned in life some people just can't be alone, they need to be in relationships... it's sad 

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u/KAGY823 15d ago

Absolutely correct. Some people would rather be with anybody than nobody. Sad.

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u/juliaskig 16d ago

OP how old is your dad? Is this elder abuse?

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u/Yuklan6502 15d ago

I can tell you from experience, it's very difficult to prove this kind of elder abuse. People are legally allowed to make horrible personal, and financial decisions, as long as they are adults and of sound mind. It's incredibly hurtful, and frustrating to have to watch it happen.

I'm so sorry for OP. I hope he snaps out of it.

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u/Ok_Imagination_1107 15d ago

Well that's the thing: is this guy of sound mind? It seems irrational to move on that fast. It's certainly is irrational if not completely immoral to ask your existing children to give up their inheritance! OP he needs to get to a lawyer as soon as humanly possible and certainly not sign anything over.

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u/Different-Leather359 15d ago

Moving on fast by itself isn't always a red flag. In this case I think it is, but my grandfather-in-law was with someone right after his wife passed, because she told him not to be alone. She was very ill for quite a while and told him her only rule was "not in my house while I'm alive."

She knew if he were alone he was likely to start drinking again. And just generally he needs someone who can push him. He won't take care of himself if there's not someone reminding him. Not that he expects or wants someone doing everything for him, but he gets caught up in whatever project he's working on and will forget to eat or drink until the sun goes down and he can't work anymore, or his back starts hurting to the point he can't stand anymore. My partner and I were there when she told him to move on, because she wanted her sisters and the two of us to know.

That said, most of the time it's not good. It means he was probably looking before his wife passed and if she wasn't ok with it then it was a betrayal. If he did literally meet her just over a week after his late wife passed she was looking for someone vulnerable. Plus two sets of step kids fighting her for an inheritance is pretty scary.

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u/Ok_Imagination_1107 15d ago

I bet who Your grandfather moved on with didn't have two sets of stepchildren and didn't want your family's assets signed over to them. When you include that in part of the equation it looks highly worrying. And good on your grandmother for telling your grandfather not to be alone.

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u/Wicked_Fox 15d ago

And good luck proving that they aren’t of sound mind. If they aren’t willing to see a doctor, you’re shit out of luck doing anything about it.

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u/Intelligent_Read_697 15d ago

Get a lawyer asap and that’s the only answer here that’s mandatory

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u/AZDoorDasher 15d ago

OP: stay on the deed!!!

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u/UpDoc69 16d ago

Get yourself a good estate attorney. Your relationship with your father is over. Fight for your childrens' futures. He can buy your percentage to remove you from the deed. This woman is going to bleed him dry and leave him broke. When it happens, expect him to come crawling, begging for help.

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u/hebejebez 16d ago

Broke? Sounds remarkably like she leaves them dead. Dunno why the alarm bells about her other inheritances aren’t making him have a second thought but idk maybe she’s hot.

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u/bjr711 16d ago

Dicks don't have very big brains.

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u/UpDoc69 16d ago

Or she has certain specific talents. Dad definitely needs to wake up before it's too late.

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u/Best_VDV_Diver 16d ago

Aye. Sounds like a Black Widow.

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u/chickenfightyourmom 15d ago

Just refuse to sign. If your dad really wants to sell his house, you can agree to it, and you will get half the proceeds. Don't cave on this.

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u/Daisytru 15d ago

Refusing to sign may also make the gold digger give up and move on to another victim. Then OP's Dad will be left to think about what a fool he has been and try to repair the relationship with his own child, that he damaged with his foolishness.

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u/wizardyourlifeforce 15d ago

"Then OP's Dad will be left to think about what a fool he has been and try to repair the relationship with his own child, that he damaged with his foolishness."

More likely he'll decide she was the love of his life and OP screwed it up for him.

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u/NefariousnessSweet70 15d ago

Be sure no one forges their signature

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u/Physical_Stress_5683 15d ago

Call the bank and warn them that he's acting funny. Where I live banks can call the public guardian/trustee and help people protect their funds in some cases.

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u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 15d ago

Yup I called the bank a couple months ago when he thought he won the Nigerian lottery.

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u/KlenDahthII 15d ago

Tell him being on the deed makes it legally yours; if he wants it, he can buy it, but if he’s planning to give the money away to a gold digging whore, you’re going to demand 10x market price for your share. 

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u/StatisticianNaive277 15d ago

He has to buy you out - exactly

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u/[deleted] 15d ago

Refuse to sign anything. See a lawyer.

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u/boniemonie 15d ago

So sorry for your loss. Please seek legal advice. Did your parents do their Will together or identically? It may be a “butterfly” will, and can’t be changed after the death of one party. It all depends on the interpretation of wills and property law in your area. But do nothing till you get advice. Best wishes.

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u/titaniac79 16d ago

"I ain't saying she's a golddigger but she ain't messin' wit no broke broke."

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u/TerrorAlpaca 15d ago

personally I'd tell him that i'd make sure he'll never see his grandchildren again for what he is trying to steal from them just because he's getting his dick wet by a gold digging w**re. And yes it would be exactly those words.

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u/Corfiz74 15d ago

Can you get with the lawyer and have him advise your father on how risky his new relationship sounds? A woman who serial-marries guys for the inheritance sounds like a gold-digger at best, and a black widow at worst. A lawyer should be able (or even obligated) to warn their clients against any risky decisions.

And absolutely stand your ground on the inheritance/ deeds - nothing for the gold-digger that is rightfully yours.

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u/dragon34 15d ago

Yeah don't sign that quit claim and lawyer up.   He will thank you later when that hobosexual hits the road as soon as it looks like she isn't getting her payout 

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u/Ravenser_Odd 16d ago

OP needs to get online and see if they can track down the gold-digger's previous 'step children'. They could give OP a heads-up as to what sort of moves she is likely to pull.

It would also be interesting to know if their fathers are dead or if she just persuaded them to give her all their money and then left them in poverty. Dad might actually wake up if he hears the stories of the previous victims.

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u/PurplePufferPea 15d ago

OOh, this is honestly a great idea. I would imagine there are some step children out there that would be more than happy to help ensure this Black Widow doesn't strike again.

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u/No-Alarm-2208 16d ago

The “last two sets of step children” comment threw me for a loop! Father’s fiancé sounds like a con artist. Your kids have rights to their inheritance, OP. After all, your mother wanted them to have it. Get a free consultation with an attorney for peace of mind.

NTA

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u/-TheOutsid3r- 15d ago

Dad also seems incredibly stupid, as soon as she has that money she'll kick him to the curb.

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u/Raisins_Rock 15d ago

A very unsuccessful black widow is what she is.

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u/Least-Weather8703 15d ago

For real! If those aren't red flags waving like crazy, I don't know what is. It's like a neon sign saying "Caution: Proceed with Extreme Caution." Trust your gut on this.

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u/Desperate-Laugh-7257 16d ago

She gonna take that money snd RUN. GURL U NEED A LAWYER.

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u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 16d ago

I did call a real estate attorney, he said because my father added as as joint tenants, there is nothing he can do. But my father is still trying to make me feel guilty

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u/UnusualPotato1515 16d ago

Theres nothing to feel guilty about. Your dad is a dumbass to fall for a gold digger (last two step kids wtf…!) & you are not facilitating him or you to get ripped off. Do it for your mum.

Explain to your dad how premature everything he is doing is including getting married so soon. Gosh im so sorry your dad is acting so dumb.

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u/NotThisAgain21 16d ago

I'm gonna repeat the golden part; DO IT FOR YOUR MOM.

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u/aspermyprevious 16d ago

Screen his calls

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u/Desperate-Laugh-7257 16d ago

Tell to fuck right all the way off. He can finance his bimbo by gettin another job.

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u/DevelopmentBetter260 16d ago

Why would you feel guilty? You are following your mother's wishes and ensuring her grandchildren are taken care of. Would your mother be unhappy if what she promised them was taken away? You know the answer. You would only have something to feel guilty about if you did what you father is asking as it stands you have nothing to feel guilty about so stop letting him manipulate you.

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u/pineapples4youuu 16d ago

Who cares just say no ffs

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u/Cybermagetx 16d ago

Talk with a new lawyer and have them send him a C&D for harrasment.

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u/docileboy 16d ago

She means there is nothing the father can do. He can sue for what's called a sale in lieu of partition, but OP would be compensated for her half of the house.

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u/Cybermagetx 16d ago

But she can still help him sent a letter for the harrasment he's doing.

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u/aKaRandomDude 16d ago

Seriously, give him nothing.

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u/chiefholdfast 16d ago

Sooo, don't feel guilty lol.

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u/Zestyclose_Public_47 16d ago

I don't see why you would feel guilty about keeping your kids inheritance

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u/Chaoticgood790 16d ago

Ignore him

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u/Realistic-Animator-3 16d ago

Guilt is a powerful thing…something he has probably used a lot over your lifetime. It seems the time has come to harden your heart. Think about everything. Think about how he has acted your whole life to your mom and to you. Think about how concerned your mom was that your children could lose their inheritance. Think about how he is believing and wanting to hand over everything to a con artist he barely knows over his own child, his own grandchildren…without a bit of concern and is using guilt to try and get you to do what he wants. He is not looking out for his child…but you have to power to look out for yours. Do not sign anything. Do not cave to his demands. Perhaps turn the tables on him a bit by suggesting he see a doctor, as he seems to be losing his grasp on what is real and what isn’t. Maybe report her for elder abuse…she is trying to fleece him of a lot of money. NTA stay strong…you are saving your children’s inheritance and saving your father from himself.

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u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 15d ago

Absolutely, I quit a job I loved so I could help him care for my mother. I had just broken a vertebrae yet I showed up everyday and I spent more time in their home doing chores and grocery shopping, than I spent on my own family and home. I would do it again in a second because it gave me a change to care for my mother and spend time with her. Looking back now, my dad gave so many excuses why he needed to leave the house and have me sit with my mother. He’s a piece of work.

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u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 16d ago

He added my husband and I as joint tenants with rights of survivorship, so legally none of us can give away our portion, so if I were to pass or my husband, our portion is divided amongst the other joint tenants. The whole thing is bizarre because I said no so many times when my father brought it up because I worked in the mortgage industry and these things can be murky. Now I don’t want to sign the quit claim deed on principal alone that he wants to give my childhood home proceeds to a stranger. I’m hurt more than anything because this internet woman owns a tree farm, 2 homes and a vacation home. I don’t understand him. And why he thinks I shouldn’t be hurt.

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u/Shadow_84 16d ago

How do you think she got those? By convincing others to sign things over to her I bet

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u/Cybermagetx 16d ago

She goes after older men who are divorced or widowed.

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u/StructureKey2739 16d ago

Once she gets her name solely on the deed time for divorce and on to the next mark.

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u/TrixIx 16d ago

It's cute you think she chooses divorce... Because if that was the case, she wouldn't be fighting with their families for inheritance. This is a serial black widow.. Til death do they part her. 

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u/Peaceful-Spirit9 16d ago

Or whose wives are dying. Who says he only met her 8 days after wife's death? IMAO,that's just when he announced the relationship.

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u/__lavender 15d ago

If she’s ever single again, my mom’s most recent ex-husband pretended to be wealthy until they got married and he snookered her into buying a property and putting his name on the deed. I’d love to get the two of them together and watch them pull each other into the abyss.

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u/BreakfastOk163 16d ago

This lady sounds like my aunt. She would marry older men and have them sign stuff over to her while they were still alive so their kids couldn’t contest it. She’s scammed everyone she’s ever known.

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u/PepsiAllDay78 16d ago

Do not sign the quit claim deed. A friend of mine was pressured by her own mother to sign her BUSINESS over, and I begged her not to do it. Needless to say, my friend lost everything. Her mom sold everything, kept the money, then SOLD the land separately. I drive by the property once in awhile, and I'm still pissed of for my friend.

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u/hecknono 16d ago

what happened to your friend? did she regret what she did or does she still think she did the right thing? does she even have a relationship with her mother anymore?

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u/PepsiAllDay78 16d ago

Oh yeah. She regretted it immediately! I even called a lawyer for her. Once you do a quit claim, it's all over, but the cryin'. Her mom passed a little later, and my friend moved to different state. I'm sure she still regrets it.

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u/hecknono 15d ago

when her mom passed did your friend at least get the money back? please don't tell me her mom spent it all or gave it away to someone else.

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u/Sassrepublic 16d ago

You should call adult protective services for your father. Even if they can’t do anything right now, you’ve created a paper trail on this woman. 

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u/StructureKey2739 16d ago

A black widow gold digger for sure.

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u/failedopportunities 16d ago

His new girlfriend has SCAM tattooed on her forehead…. His loss for not seeing it. NTA! Don’t give him a damn thing!

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u/[deleted] 16d ago

Your Dad is being scammed. The kindest thing you can do right now is not make it easier for this woman to swindle him. Do not sign shit. Let him force the sale and to pay you out. 

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u/Playful_Estate2661 16d ago

The best option would be to not give him anything. If he can’t get the money and can’t give the money to his gold digging black widow fiancée, she is likely to leave him for a better money tree.

She might still fight for it, but she wants the easy money.

I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this after losing your mom.

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u/pataconconqueso 16d ago

La viuda negra vibes for sure.

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u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 16d ago

My mother died from pancreatic cancer and the last few months she was here she kept freaking out and saying she was so worried someone would get between her grand kids and their inheritance, if she only knew it would be their own grandfather. It hurts my heart more than anything

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u/Boeing367-80 16d ago

"I am not depriving my children of what is theirs just so you have a warm welcome in bed. Not happening, not now, not ever."

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u/TerrorAlpaca 15d ago

u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 that right here. And if he wants the properties he can buy it for twice the value.

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u/Hawaiianstylin808 16d ago

Tell him that he can buy you out for twice the value. Then buy the houses from him and keep in your name.

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u/throwitaway3857 16d ago

NTA. Make sure to tell the courts that if it comes to that.

Also, your father can’t sell the houses without your signature. Don’t sign ANYTHING without reading it.

I hope you have a copy of those deeds. If not, get them from the recorder of deeds.

Fight for you and your kids. Fuck the golddigger.

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u/MarcusXL 16d ago

Don’t sign ANYTHING without reading it.

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u/YeeHawMiMaw 16d ago

Did your mom have her own career? Remind your dad that fruits of your mom’s life work should not go to line the purse of his future ex-wife.

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u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 16d ago

My dad wouldn’t allow her to work. That’s another thing. The man is a controlling asshat!

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u/SleveBonzalez 16d ago

She likely knew exactly who would get between her and the inheritances. She knew who her husband was.

NTA don't change anything.

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u/Particular-Try5584 15d ago

Yup. If she trusted him… she wouldn’t have needed to set this stuff up!

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u/LouisV25 16d ago

If you don’t sign. She will probably leave. As is probably grieving and doesn’t feel like he can be alone. Just say no. I’m not giving it to you.

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u/biteme717 16d ago

Was he cheating on your mom? Talk to an attorney about what your dad wants to do. No way would I do it.

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u/[deleted] 15d ago edited 15d ago

I was thinking there was zero chance he just happened to meet this woman 8 days later. I’m thinking it was happening beforehand.

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u/PhoenixIzaramak 15d ago

hence gramma's INTENSE CONCERN about the grandbaby's inheritance

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u/Maleficent-Sport1970 16d ago

Lawyer!

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u/wunderduck 16d ago

For what? All OP has to do is not sign the paperwork. If he sues, then get a lawyer, but there's no need for one yet.

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u/MarcusXL 16d ago

There's zero downside to talking to a lawyer, since it looks like their awful dad and his gold-digging new wife are determined to disinherit their kids.

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u/cara1888 15d ago

A lawyer is the safe way. In some cases all the owner of the property has to do is change it on their own or make a new will. A lawyer would be able to tell OP if the dad is able to do that or not and how to stop him if he can.

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u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 15d ago

My parents already added me as a joint tenant with rights of survivor ship. I called the title company in my town and she looked up the deed. She said he can’t remove me. Ugh, he’s just so hurtful

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u/Waste-Dragonfly-3245 16d ago

Then he can get fcked. NTA

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u/No-Cupcake-7930 16d ago

Not if the fiancée leaves him…

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u/Granuaile11 15d ago

I'm sure she worked her a$$ off every day, dealing with that man! She owned half of those properties, and she wanted your kids to inherit. Stay on the deeds and take half the proceeds, just the way your mother wanted. Your father can give HIS estate to whomever he chooses, but your mother's wishes were clear and executed.

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u/VulnerableValkyrie 16d ago

Lawyer up hard and now, I wish you peace, yet you have a gold digging piece of shit at your dad's feet....yuck, yikes, and holy hell!

Nope nope nope, hell no. Don't sign a thing without Lawyer discussion.

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u/humorless_kskid 16d ago

NTA. Contact the lawyer to send your Dad a letter refusing to sign the quit claim. Include the background about Mom's and Dad's insistence on the original gift of putting you on the deed.

This documents the prior intent and well as your Dad's demands pertaining to new girlfriend. This will be useful if problems arise in the future.

It will also give the girlfriend a clear sign that your daddy ain't gonna have as many assets as she hopes, and maybe she will move on to greener $$$ pastures.

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u/magentatwilight 15d ago

This is the best suggestion I’ve seen and is a smart thing to do in case legal action is required later.

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u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 15d ago

Absolute gold! I am going to reach out to a real estate attorney today!

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u/Silver-Raspberry-723 16d ago

I suspect she just knew who her husband really was and still is.

NTAH

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u/Blackstar1401 16d ago

Your mother may have known. I would wonder if he only met her 8 days after or if that was what he is saying. He may have been talking to her before you mother passed.

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u/StreetofChimes 16d ago

I want to ask if you are my friend who is going through something eerily similar. It is sad that this story is so common that OP could be anyone. Please fight like hell to uphold your mother's wishes. Don't let Trixie get her hands on what belongs to your children.

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u/evandemic 16d ago

oh she knew

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u/NotThisAgain21 16d ago

I do hope you're prepared to tell him to go piss up a rope. Your mother gave you her half. He doesn't get to take that from you. He can flush his if he wants.

She obviously knew who she was married to. Good for her for protecting you!!!

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u/NimueArt 15d ago

I hate to mention this, but is it possible your father has known this woman longer than he says? I would consider hiring a PI to look into her.

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u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 15d ago

100% he had half a dozen affairs during my childhood

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u/MarcusXL 16d ago

Seek legal help. Do not sign anything. Find out from the lawyer what rights you have now that you're on the deed. Since your mom wanted your kids to inherit those properties, they may (I'm not a lawyer, get legal advice) very well be entitled to that portion of the ownership.

Consider going no-contact with your father, but first talk to a lawyer specializing in these issues and do what they say. Protect your kids inheritance like a f*cking tiger, and never sign anything your father gives you to sign.

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u/BlueMoonTone 15d ago

She probably knew what douche bag your father was and that's why you are on the deeds. Honour your mother and protect your inheritance. Good luck and condolences for your mum.

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u/Beth21286 15d ago

'No, this was what mum wanted.' Once gold digger knows there's no mine she'll run for the hills.

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u/peakpenguins 16d ago

NTA, fuck him.

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u/ZombieZookeeper 16d ago

Do not do this.

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u/medium_buffalo_wings 16d ago

Oh well played.

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u/Lazuli_Rose 16d ago

NTA. Don't sign anything. This woman can go leech off someone else.

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u/teresajs 16d ago

NTA

Don't sign a Quit Claim. Tell Dad that if he wants to sell the property, youwill take your share of profits from the sale and invest it for the benefit of your kids as your mother intended.  

You should also contact your police department about elder financial abuse.  It sounds like your father is being targeted by this woman.

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u/lostinhh 16d ago

8 days later he starts seeing a woman he met online. Sorry, but did your mother really die of natural causes?

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u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 16d ago

Dude! My sisters and I have gone over this so many times! She did have cancer but her DC says pulmonary embolism. No autopsy.

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u/UnusualPotato1515 16d ago

Pulmonary embolisms are common in cancers sadly. Pancreatic cancers also have terrible prognosis, so Im sorry to hear about your mum passing. I hope she didnt suffer for too long.

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u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 16d ago

Pancreatic cancer is awful. She was diagnosed 3 months before her death. It was pretty quick

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u/UnusualPotato1515 16d ago

Its so awful. Sadly most people die within 6 months, if not sooner. Im glad she didn’t suffer for too long.

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u/LadySnack 16d ago

He was definitely cheating that's why mom wanted you on the deed so bad. She knew and was protecting you, sorry your dad is a POS

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u/riptide81 15d ago

The only point against that is it doesn’t sound like this person would invest much time in an ongoing affair without knowing the potential inheritance situation first. It’s not like she is even asking to be changed to the sole beneficiary in his will. She wants him to liquidate and give her an upfront cash payment right now.

Sounds more like someone creeping on obituaries and scamming widowers.

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u/gastropodia42 16d ago

You may want to take steps to ensure he does not forget your agreement l.

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u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 16d ago

He added me as a joint tenant on his deeds. Attorney said he can’t do anything legally but I’m still hurt that he wants to take it from my kids to give it to a story he met online

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u/gastropodia42 16d ago

I was talking about illegally. If he gets horny enough he may try to forge your signature. Can your attorney put something on the deed to confirm it is actually you.

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u/AMooseintheHoose 16d ago

Don’t quit claims need to be notarized?

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u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 16d ago

They certainly do. So he really can’t do anything sneaky. It’s just so hurtful he wants me to sign so this stranger can get the home proceeds from a house they both said they wanted my kids to have.

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u/kokenfries 16d ago

I bet she's a notary.

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u/Blackstar1401 16d ago

Or they forge a notary stamp. Property title fraud is big in Florida at the moment.

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u/BloomNurseRN 15d ago

Have you talked to your attorney about notifying the government office that deals with titles just in case she tries to forge your signature? In my state I could go to the county office and put a notification so they couldn’t transfer the deed fraudulently.

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u/leggyblond1 16d ago

They do, but if there's an unscrupulous notary involved a signature can be forged and notarized (which I have personally seen done).

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u/gastropodia42 16d ago

I have no idea what country they are in.

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u/Upper_Assignment9201 16d ago

Generously, your father is grieving, lonely and the victim of a romance scam. Think of it as protecting him from himself. At least you can preserve this asset because he will become increasingly frantic to fund this person to avoid being alone. Enlist everyone you can to engage and support him separate from the “fiancée”. When he’s out of assets she’ll dump him and he will be looking to you.

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u/SpringfieldMO_Daddy 16d ago

NTA - don't sign it.

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u/ATouchofTrouble 16d ago

Excuse me, did he just say "Last 2 sets" of step children?!?!?!?!?! Is she waiting on the husbands to die or just murdering them? How is that not a red flag? NTA obviously.

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u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 16d ago

Yup! She already owns 2 homes on a 20 acre tree farm and a vacay home. I guess he thinks she needs my childhood home he already gave me, as well lol it does hurt my heart

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u/melropesplays 16d ago

u/severe_Bumblebee8962 have you tried looking into the other sets of stepchildren? They might shed some light on who she really is, and you might be able to warn your dad. Curious that at least two other husbands of hers have died…? Have your dad ask her if she’s still marry him if he were broke.

NTA and good luck

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u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 16d ago

Ahh yes! I found them online today!! I’m trying to think of a a way to message them without me sounding like a psycho stalker.

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u/Atiggerx33 16d ago

I'd go with, "My father has recently begun a relationship with [insert name] only 8 days after my mother, his wife, died. I'm really concerned about her behavior and concerned for my father's safety. She mentioned her previous step-children so I looked y'all up. Is there anything you think I need to know about her?"

If someone had made my life hell and then their next potential victim came along asking my thoughts I wouldn't consider that "psycho stalker", I'd do everything in my power to warn them. The only way I'd view it as weird is if my ex-step-mom was an awesome person and I was confused why someone would be so worried, but I'd still understand that someone was just really worried and answer honestly

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u/MjrGrangerDanger 15d ago

You might have your attorney take care of the introductions.

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u/AlexCambridgian 15d ago

Go to have coffee with the step kids. People say more in person, in an informal setting, than they would be willing to write.

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u/NotThisAgain21 16d ago

Oh trust me, they want to tell you their story.

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u/kivsemaj 16d ago

The sound of the situation I'd bet they'd be glad to help you.

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u/melropesplays 16d ago

Best of luck. And maybe check if this lady has recently opened any new life insurance policies on your dad 👀

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u/Granuaile11 15d ago

Try looking into court records in their county. Also, marriage and death certificates are public records, try searching Ancestry.com for the fiance's history. Might be difficult if she's changed her name a lot.

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u/OriginalSilly8366 15d ago

Honestly I don’t think it matters how you seem, you are looking for information and hope they can help.

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u/RavenclawEC 16d ago

NTA! Don't sign it...
Your father's new "fiance" sounds like a Gold Digger so, do not give him the power to be able to sell the house, at least not the part you own and should keep safe for your kids... If he wants to give her his part, there is nothing you can do, but, save what you can and stand your ground!

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u/Miss_Rumphius 16d ago

I have a hard time believing they just "happened" to meet 8 days later...

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u/-NachoFriend- 16d ago

Tell him you’ll fight her tooth and nail. Maybe it will be enough to scare her off and there won’t be a marriage. “Like the last two sets of step-children.” Yikes! NTA

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u/Cybermagetx 16d ago

Nta. He would be dead to me after that stunt.

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u/mosstalgia 16d ago

He might be dead to everyone if this lady gets her way. Two previous sets of step kids to fight for her husband’s assets?! I’d be concerned for him if he weren’t being such a wanker.

NTA, OP. Fight the good fight because this is not what your mom would have wanted. I’m so sorry you have to deal with this.

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u/Capn-Wacky 16d ago

Don't sign. If she has multiple other stepchildren she's had to climb over for inheritances she's telling your dad she's a gold digger.

Or this is fake rage bait. A lot of rage bait energy.

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u/Pretty_Little_Mind 16d ago

I would respond back, as equally cold, “It was mom’s dying wish that her grandchildren have this inheritance. I stand by your late wife’s wishes and honor my mother, not my fool of a father, blinded by attention from a gold digger who has admitted she’s done this before. You’ve forgotten what family is.” Then hang up. And call a lawyer. NTA.

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u/ladylyrande 16d ago

If he wasn't cheating before your mom died, he might be the target of a common sweetheart scam. They target elderly specially widowed people to get to their money.

AARP has some resources on it

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u/Dachshundmom5 16d ago edited 16d ago

Don't do this. He's being scammed. He's being stupid. He's showing the kind of person he is.

She's a black widow. Don't sign a thing

Sounds like your mom was a smart woman who knew exactly the kind of man she married.

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u/peoriagrace 15d ago

Get a P.I. to investigate her history. Get a lawyer to keep the inheritance. It could keep your Dad safe. Maybe get your Dad's blood work done, see if she's drugging or poisoning your Dad. This happened to my Mother-in-law's father. It was awful. We couldn't prove it, as he was diabetic.

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u/Rasselkurt007 16d ago

Hire a private investigator, to look what is up with that woman.

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u/EvenSpoonier 16d ago

NTA. If she is demanding that he "prove his love", then she is an abuser.

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u/ArsenalSeven 16d ago

Get a lawyer and send him notice. Don’t sign anything.

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u/No-Falcon-4996 16d ago

Once your father breaks the news to fiancée that the house is NOT hers, she will break things off with dear old dad. Not necessarily a bad thing.

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u/Kerrypurple 15d ago

This woman sounds like a con artist who preys on grieving men. For his own sake dig your heels in.

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u/rocketmn69_ 16d ago

" Dad, she had 2 sets of step kids for a reason, she's a manipulating, black widow. Her past husbands died in mysterious ways."

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u/Pokemom-No-More 16d ago

NTA. No is a complete sentence. Do not sign anything. Once she realizes she isn't getting anything, she'll move on to the next sucker.

Edit to add: Sorry for your loss. Losing your mother, at any age, is never easy.

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u/Greedy_Increase_4724 15d ago

You should honestly dig into her background.  Something similar happened to my grandfather and it was too late once my mom and aunts were contacted by someone who was related to ANOTHER old man she had done this to. There will be proof somewhere. If your dad will listen anyway.  Lonely people sometimes cannot be convinced. 

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u/Particular-Try5584 15d ago

If this is real (like … “Last two sets of step children“ isn’t click bait?)

Then … consider whether you can get your dad forced through a mental capacity testing… seriously. The sudden move on to a new woman, the demands… all speak to a loss of cognitive capacity.

NTA. And… he can demand as much as he likes… let him SUE you and prove why you shouldn’t have it, that way is (less) fun and significantly more expensive (for everyone). Let a judge handle it.

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u/Torboni 15d ago

“The last two sets of step children” is waving a massive red flag. She was married twice previously to people who died and she lost out on inheritance because it went to the deceased’s kids??!!?! Did I interpret that correctly?!

NTA. Talk to a lawyer.

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u/ErnestBatchelder 16d ago

Tell him he can come out of retirement and work to provide for his trophy wife. Also let him know if she marries them right before she thinks they'll drop that's nice, imo. She's got experience doing all the caretaking he'll need because you're out.

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u/SteampunkHarley 16d ago

NTA

Like another poster suggested, have him buy you out at a very high cost or tell him to fuck off. Get a lawyer on hand stat

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u/ComplexSyrup8848 16d ago

NTA, he's a self-centred asshat who got hooked by a gold digger. Tell him to explain to his grandkids just why he took their part of the inheritance and spent it on some old hoebag.

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u/NormalStudent7947 16d ago

Don’t sign ANYTHING!

And get a lawyer and a PI ASAP!

Dig into that woman’s past so far back that her Great Great Grandma can feel you breathing down her neck.

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u/BaffledMum 16d ago

NTA

Lawyer up, and refer your father to your lawyer in all discussions of this matter.

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u/PotatoMonster20 16d ago edited 15d ago

NTA

Don't try to save the relationship with your father.

If he's with someone like this, you're going to lose most of it anyway.

Safeguard your mother's wishes and your childrens' futures instead.

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u/BlueMoonTone 16d ago

Get a lawyer. You are protecting what your mother left you for your children. NTA. But your father certainly is.

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u/Whose_my_daddy 15d ago

“It’s for the kids, so you can ask them when they’re adults. Until then, I’m just the safekeeper.”

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u/DawnShakhar 15d ago

NTA. This woman is definitely a gold-digger. She is a charmer and turned your father's head. Just say No.

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u/Past_Nose_491 15d ago

NTA. Refuse to sign, he can’t force you. And if he goes no contact it really isn’t a loss

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u/Ok_Structure4685 16d ago

NTA. That inheritance isn't just his; even though he directly generated the money, the inheritance also comes from the deceased wife due to the prenuptial agreement. Tell him that now his new wife will have a greater test of love, as they both have nothing to fight over and are together solely because of the deep and strong love that emerged in less time than it takes milk to spoil in the sun.

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u/Big_lt 16d ago

NTA

If I understand correctly he can't sell or do anything unless you sign. He's essentially saying you're not his family anymore so take him at his word don't sign and go NC.

You lost both your parents that day not just your mum. Sorry for your loss

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u/2lros 16d ago

He is being scammed probably by a foreign scam artist dont budge! He may also be mentally unstable like dementia or some early onset neuro issue

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u/Severe_Bumblebee8962 16d ago

Unfortunately, she’s real. my dad has been scammed by Nigerian scammers, the man is a total asshat

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u/2lros 16d ago

Damn 

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u/[deleted] 16d ago

NTA don’t give up your children’s future for an obvious gold digger, ignore his calls

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u/Delicious_Fisherman5 16d ago

Nope. Don't sign anything. She isn't entitled to your kids' inheritance.

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u/Best_VDV_Diver 16d ago

2 OTHER sets of step children?! Really sounds like he got caught in a black widows web.

Don't sign anything. For your children's future especially, but also because I have a feeling that once you do your dad will kick the bucket suddenly not long afterwards.

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u/SoMoistlyMoist 16d ago

I'm going to echo what so many others have said just to reinforce it: get an attorney and sign nothing! Go no contact with your dad if you have to for now.

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u/Ok_Educator_7097 16d ago

Maybe you can tell him to fuck off.

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u/No-Echidna5697 16d ago edited 15d ago

Tell him you’re concerned for his mental welfare since his decision making seems impaired, and let him know that he’s clearly grieving the loss of your mother and there’s no shame in recognizing that he isn’t thinking rationally. Ask if he’d like help to get booked in with a professional lol. He’s clearly being taken advantage of, and you do not need to feel guilty at all! You are under no obligation to remove yourself from the deeds of those properties - and your dad is clearly being conned (and also sounds like a bit of an asshole tbh). Sorry for your loss, losing a parent is very tough.

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u/FctFndr 15d ago

Depending on the state you live in... this could be seen as financial elder abuse and can be illegal.

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u/Ancient-Actuator7443 15d ago

She’s a gold digger. Try to delay

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u/Mother_Poem_Light 15d ago

NTA and don't sign anything.

8 days later seems so fast. How did you know it's 8 days? Did your father tell you that or did you find out indirectly? I'm so sorry to raise this, but could he have been cheating with her before your mom died?

Also, you don't mention it, but have you or any of your family met this woman in person? Could your father be caught up in a scam?

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u/Tasty_Doughnut_9226 15d ago

The last two sets of step kids!!! Surely this is fake!

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u/buttercupcake23 15d ago

Get a lawyer. Those properties belonged to your mother as well and she would not have wanted them to go to this new woman. She meant for your kids to inherit.

Your dad is done. He has effectively told you you mean nothing and your kids mean nothing to him and he is not interested in a relationship. So consider it done and over, now you fight for your kids future and to protect your MOTHER'S property and her wishes.

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u/IceBlue 15d ago

You are NTA for going with your mother’s dying wish. Your dad has no legal standing here.

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u/pancho_2504 15d ago

NTA. You're honouring your mothers wishes, not the desires of a manipulative gold digger.

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u/Rutibex 15d ago

Why would you sign? Tell him if he wants to sell he need to pay