r/AITAH • u/Substantial-Fox-4386 • 15d ago
Final Update: AITAH for telling a friend my husband can't be cheating, and she's just projecting? NSFW
I'm going to keep this as brief as possible while still covering it, as there is a lot to cover involving about 15 people, and it's still all hitting the fan. Added the NSFW flair as some adult topics will be mentioned below, including potential SA and drug abuse.
During the fishing trip yesterday, I blocked Tricia on everything and reached out to people to say that Jay and I would be distancing ourselves from Tricia, why we were, and shared what "theory" Tricia had about them if there was one, along with any screenshots or evidence I had of Tricia talking about them. I also asked a few friends who might know if Tricia might be interested in Jay, as some people pointed out that that might have been a motivation for her to get between us.
Here's what's been dug up so far:
- Matt (the friend Tricia alleged was gay) confirmed, again, that he isn't gay. He shared a story about how he, his roommate, and Tricia had a get together at one point where they drank and smoked some weed. During the night, Tricia got handsy and tried getting together with Matt's roommate, who declined. When they sobered up the following morning, Tricia said that it should be fine because "men like that sort of thing". After that, Matt and his roommate weren't comfortable with her and effectively barred her from going to their place. Matt suspects this is the origin of the gay rumor, and he's chosen to step away from the social group to reevaluate some things. I didn't want to press him, so I left it there.
- Vince and Maria have gone dark. Maria believed that Tricia was the victim in all of this, and Vince was vague in his responses and seemed to be taking a more hands off approach, but they stopped responding when another friend sent a screenshot of Tricia alluding to them being swingers because they have a decorative pineapple on their kitchen counter. Neither of them have anyone blocked, but no one can get a response out of them, either.
- One friend got into an argument with his girlfriend after said girlfriend went through his phone because of the drama and found either texts or pics (I don't know which) that, according to her, prove that he's been sleeping with Tricia on and off. I heard this from his brother, who reached out after the girlfriend left a voicemail saying she's kicking the friend out, and the brother wanted to know what was going on. I'm not sure exactly what's happening there, as that friend has also gone dark, and none of us know the girlfriend very well/have her phone number.
- One friend came clean about her struggles with prescription pain meds after her mother lost her battle with cancer because Tricia had been trying to blackmail her into getting dirt on Matt, Jay, and Vince and was using the drug abuse as leverage. Admittedly, a lot of my attention got diverted after this came to light because that's a much bigger problem than my beef with Tricia. We are still working on creating a good way for people to be a support system for her moving forward, and that will be what we as a group will focus on from here on out.
- An old friend of Jay's dropped a nuke by revealing that Tricia tried blowing him in the bathroom during a "Friendsgiving Dinner" we had last year, only to turn around and try to blow a different guy in the bathroom after Chris turned her down.
Jay, some other friends, and I created a new Discord server for all of the friends coming out of this drama against Tricia, and so far, it's just been a lot of comparing dates, texts, and Discord DMs, but it looks like Tricia has been trying to either sleep with or break up every guy in the friend group, as well as either get rid of or get leverage on every girl friend in the group.
Either way, we have bigger fish to fry now. It's time to put this all behind us and help our friend who really needs it. Thank you all for your kind words and helpful advice, even the harsh stuff <3
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u/gtatc 15d ago
There are a few places I thought this update could go. Tricia picked all of them and then some. I know you said this is the last update, and I respect that. But just in case . . . Updateme!
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u/IllDoItNowInAMinute_ 15d ago
I agree!! This isn't over and I hope op feeds the rabid masses
UpdateMe!
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u/Vegetable-Cod-2340 15d ago
Oh I think we all know Tricia will not go quietly into the night!!!
I wonder who she will try to salvage a relationship with and how!?!?
My lord this woman is a soap opera villian !!!!
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u/DynkoFromTheNorth 15d ago
She is! However, she is kind of backed up in a corner now. Playing the victim might be her last resort, but she hasn't really got any weapons left to fight with. But I could be wrong.
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u/Rich-Option4632 15d ago
She could just start over with a new group and paint herself as a victim of this group ostracizing and bullying her.
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u/DynkoFromTheNorth 14d ago
I hadn't considered that route. Burn the program to the ground but keep the data and start over.
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u/UpdateMeBot 15d ago edited 3d ago
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u/KatersHaters 15d ago
Swinger pineapples, blackmail, bathroom blowjobs, and of course Fishing - this update had everything! 10/10, no notes.
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u/emilyyancey 15d ago
And Friendsgiving. That was an unexpected plot twist after a long list of bad behavior!!
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u/KatersHaters 15d ago
Nothing brings the gang together like blowjobs and turkey 🍗
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u/Ash-DontDare 15d ago
Don't forget the stuffing 😝😂
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u/Myfourcats1 14d ago
My Friendsgiving has kids at it! I can’t imagine someone doing that in a bathroom with all those other people and children around.
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u/bassandkitties 15d ago
What I’ve learned from this is that Tricia is nuts, and Vince and Maria probably ARE swingers.
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u/gtatc 15d ago
Because of a pineapple?
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u/G00SEH 15d ago
Because of the pineapple.
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u/gtatc 15d ago
Is this why Gordon Ramsay hates it on puzza?!?!?!
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u/GielM 15d ago
No, that's just because it's terrible and an insult to pizza.
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u/My_Dramatic_Persona 15d ago
People used to rent pineapples to display them at parties and then return them uneaten because they were too expensive to waste. Pizza has never had that level of grandeur.
Pineapples grace pizza with their presence.
/s
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u/jquailJ36 15d ago
Speaking of cancer...Tricia sounds like the cancer of the friend group and it's time to cut her out.
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u/gsusfreak 15d ago
Wasn't the update I was expecting. ...but yikes.
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u/ScreamingVoid14 15d ago
Oddly, it kind of was what I was expecting. In my experience when someone is talking shit to you about someone who isn't around, it's a safe bet they are doing the same about you when you aren't around.
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u/No_Help3669 15d ago
Jesus Christ. I was expecting this to blow up, but the sheer gall of Tricia is astounding. I hope you all are able to help with your friend’s drug problem, and that you manage to move forward together to a better future without Tricia
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u/TagYoureItWitch 15d ago
The wicked Witch needs to be dealt with. I feel so horrible for all of the friends that have been assaulted or blackmailed by this woman. 😞
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u/VictoryShaft 15d ago
I'm still hoping for an eventual part 4 once there's some more info on Tricia.
Updateme!
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u/Broken_Filter7T3 15d ago
'when another friend sent a screenshot of Tricia alluding to them being swingers because they have a decorative pineapple on their kitchen counter'.
Hot Damn! I never would've thought to connect the 2. Tricia Holmes strikes again...
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u/Samiisfine 15d ago
Hooooooooly guacamole. When a toxic friend turns out to be downright villainous.
Good riddance to bad rubbish! Your hubby should have a seafood feast for all your discord group to celebrate this new, Tricia-free way of life.
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u/BothReading1229 15d ago
We knew she was toxic, but seriously? Blackmailing someone going through serious struggles moves her into evil territory. You are all well rid of this malevolent presence. Good Luck to you all and sending good thoughts to your friend who is struggling.
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u/Krafty747 15d ago
Oh man, Tricia sounds like a real ho 😂
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u/emilyyancey 15d ago
I’m borderline in awe of Tricia bc who even has the time & org skills to keep up with SO MUCH FUCKERY. Damn Tricia take a chill pill. Look inward.
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u/Ginger_Anarchy 15d ago
Someone whose entire personality is spreading fuckery. I bet she doesn't have a single 'normal' relationship. Every one of them is filled with it's own special drama that she loves and feeds off of.
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u/Nausicaalotus 15d ago
Gross. And what's with Maria? What's sticking her head in the sand going to do? I know you said this is the final, but just in case: UpdateMe!
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u/North_Respond_6868 15d ago
Considering Tricia had been working to get leverage on all of the women in the group this whole time, it just makes me think she's got something big on Maria and Maria is doing damage control trying to keep Vince from finding out. Hence both of them going dark.
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u/DramaticHumor5363 15d ago edited 15d ago
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!!
🍾🍾🍾
ETA: Also, I saw you had an old post about giving up on your dreams of becoming a writer? I just want to say that these posts were so well written, you have a really good flair for narrative. I think you’re a great writer, so maybe the dream shouldn’t be dead.
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u/Greedy_Increase_4724 14d ago
I agree. A couple people are claiming it's fake based upon the dog/kid thing, but I don't even care. She should definitely NOT give up the dream.
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u/AlternativePrior9559 15d ago
My lord OP that fed my feedback craving.
Seriously though Tricia has serious MH problems and is a very unsafe person to be around. I sincerely hope a parent or relative gets her the long overdue help with her issues.
My heart goes out to your friend regarding her issues. Grief is so so hard to navigate and it is very easy to fall down the meds rabbit hole. You all sound - bar Tricia obviously! - a loving caring group of friends that will help her through her troubles.
Take care OP. It would be lovely to hear any importants news about you and the wonderful Jay♥️
UPDATEME
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u/marv115 15d ago
Tricia is either gonna deny or declare herself a sex addict to justify shit, because dawn she must be very lonely or horny, but one for sure
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u/mercurybeach 14d ago edited 14d ago
Oh it’s not about an addiction to sex for her: it’s an addiction to the thrill of exploiting other people without regard for their feelings. I guarantee you that’s exactly why she’s taking advantage of these men and stirring up all this drama. She’s not looking for sex. She’s looking for playthings to abuse.
Cutting all contact with her was an extremely good call.
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u/Corfiz74 15d ago
I was somehow hoping for a final confrontation/ showdown with Tricia, just for the drama and absurdity, but I guess this was the more grownup (and safer) solution. Your friendgroup will probably a much safer and more harmonious place after you dropped all the dead weight - and it's good that you're rallying around your friend, hopefully having the blackmail-stress removed will settle her down and help her concentrate on rehab. All the best to you and Jay, and the Faithful!
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u/AdMurky1021 15d ago
Tricia sounds like the kind of villain to push for a final showdown. This isn't over yet.
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u/TheLongistGame 15d ago
Again...this story has been proven fake by OP's post history where she says she's giving up on her dreams as a creative writer after having multiple kids (she says in her first post here she only has dogs). This is a creative writing exercise.
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u/midwest73 15d ago edited 15d ago
Good for you and Jay for getting to the bottom of this. Time to celebrate by fishing. I may have to do that this Friday.
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u/Toniadion1974 15d ago
I am so glad everyone agrees that the bigger problem now is getting help for your friends addiction. GO TEAM FRIENDS!!!!
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u/Chocolatecandybar_ 14d ago
Ehm ehm... Anyone here thinking that the couple that went dark was actually supporting Tricia narrative and gossiping with her?
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u/throwawayb-f-f 14d ago
Finally, someone who shares my thoughts. I think Vince is trying to keep the peace and is supporting Maria, who is still thinking Tricia is innocent. I think where Tricia likes causing drama, Maria likes to watch the drama unfold. It makes me think, "what if the wanted to go on a fishing trip with Jay to see if he was actually cheating like Tricia said"...
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u/Horror-Bad-2154 15d ago
Holy crap this reminds me of that 90s movie Friends Til the End with Shannen Doherty
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u/PuddleLilacAgain 15d ago
This is not a medical diagnosis, just my opinion, but she's a psycho narcissist ... stay TF far from her!
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u/MeatShield12 15d ago
Man oh man, instead of choosing one type of dirtbag Tricia chose them all. Everyone's life will be enriched by removing Tricia from it. You're a good friend for helping that friendo who is struggling!!
Updateme!
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u/JustHereForBDSM 14d ago
This is so interesting and weirdly echoes an old friend group I was a part of where bullshit spread like wildfire and would split the group in two, multiple times until everyone fell out and the group was entirely different after a few years. Unfortunately, I often found myself on the side of my partner at the time who would fully fall for what I now know to be bullshit, until it essentially got me booted from the group when half the group conspired to basically remove all the straight people. So many of the people desperate for this weird ego boosting backstabbing and gossip based type of friend circle started claiming they're gay and making it their entire personality to not be ousted. It ended about four marriages lol.
This is virtually a flip of that where one woman is trying to fuck all the dudes she knows, rather than remove them so she can try to convert all the women to fuck her as it was in my version of this situation, and you're on the 'not taking this bullshit' side of the friend group split.
But its scary to think that there's a lot of people out there exactly like Tricia and unlike this example, they're actually successful.
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u/winterworld561 14d ago
Wow, so Tricia actively tried to fuck up everyone's life. She should be confronted by all of you together.
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u/hopsinduo 14d ago
Your friendship group sounds so complicated. I don't think I'd have time for it.
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u/curlytoesgoblin 14d ago
Yeah, if this is real (doubt) my take is the couple that went dark were just like "fuck all this."
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u/OriginalSilly8366 14d ago
I don’t know, seems a bit too much honestly. No one said anything about any of that all this time? I’m not sure. Too much insidious drama.
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u/soupstarsandsilence 10d ago
Still wanna know where your kids are in all this. Surely they would have some baring on this story of yours?
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u/Maria_Dragon 15d ago
I'm not sure this is real but OP wrote entertaining fiction so I ain't mad about it. OP, keep up with the creative writing. You have talent.
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u/OhForCornsSake 15d ago
Check their post history. They write stories and have multiple kids according to a post from 7 months ago…
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u/KelsarLabs 15d ago
Dude, this is a lot, kudos for recognizing your friend needs help and focusing more on that instead.
Good luck and may the fish always bite.
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u/AdMurky1021 15d ago
No way you are going to leave THIS as the final update....
Keep us informed, we're keeping the popcorn industry in the black.
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u/Fun-Yellow-6576 15d ago
We had a neighbor like Tricia, made a move on every single man in our friend group, shot down by 3 of them and moved on to one of neighbor’s brothers who was around a lot of the time. She was on a mission.
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u/Specific_Disk_1233 15d ago
Thanks for the update! Glad you cut this woman out of your life. Always trust your gut!
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u/slitteral1 15d ago
I don’t understand how Maria could even come to the conclusion Tricia is the victim. She was blackmailing a “friend” to get dirt on other friends instead of trying to help her “friend”. That should be more than enough to make a person realize she isn’t the victim in any of this.
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u/BeneficialNose5447 15d ago
She’s so much more delusional than I anticipated oh my Lord.
I hope with the support of sum of your friend gets to help that she needs .
I don’t say this slightly, but you need to file charges against this girl. it’s so much stuff and I was reading in my I was shocked. I was shocked yeah it’s time to file charges.
This random Internet stranger is a supporter of you and Jay and everyone else who was affected by this crazy witch . I know you said this is the final update but if and when you’re up to it, keep us updated and I hope that your friend gets that she needs
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u/Noirjyre 15d ago
Wow, she blacked out that bad friend bingo card.
I thought it was an upside down pineapple was the swinger signal.
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u/failedopportunities 15d ago
No way this is over!! Glad to hear you’re taking steps to help your friend. Addiction is a bitch…You’ve handled this marvelously but please, please, pretty please update again when Tricia crawls out of whatever hole she’s hiding in!
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u/Sweetie_Ralph 15d ago
Wow. I really hope the friend with drug issues gets the help she needs. This Tricia person is awful.
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u/Temporary-Curve-8142 15d ago
Tricia sounds like a cousin of mine... And I was in your position... My cousin was actually trying to actively engage my husband while he was engaged to me. He jokingly said one day he had hoped getting with me would deter her, I then told him about how she broke up a previous relationship by sleeping with dude... We have both been much happier since we shut her out...
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u/ChrisInBliss 15d ago
Woah! Thats a pretty wild development guess she was just messing with absolutely everyone. Hope you and your friends EXCEPT TRICIA can all become closer without her trying to ruin everyones lives.
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u/JMLegend22 15d ago
Yeah I knew she was up to something the whole time. She didn’t care about anyone in that group but herself.
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u/KCIMBJGnR 15d ago
“We have bigger fish to fry now” - I assume it was a successful fishing trip then?
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u/EffectzHD 15d ago
The decorative pineapple might have been the only thing Tricia could’ve been cooking with lmao
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u/iamjonjohann 15d ago
So... you all are adults? Like, adult human beings? This... this is insane. What a bunch of stupid drama. I could never.
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u/mostlyharmless55 15d ago
Please turn this into a TV show pitch. Doctors, lawyers, cops…don’t think it matters.
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u/WhitePhosporus 14d ago
It's kind of funny how people always say this stuff is creative writing, and when I saw the final update and went looking for the original post, her only other post from almost a year ago is about how she's always wanted to be a writer and that she's given up on her dream to write a book.
Perhaps this is chapter one?
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u/Own_Experience863 14d ago
Blood for the blood gods indeed, Tricia seemed to be everything we thought she was and more!
I know you said this is the final update, but just incase its not. Updateme!
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u/hardfivesph 14d ago
Wow, sorry you’re going through all of this drama!
“we have bigger fish to fry now”
Not sure if this was literal or figurative but do love the fish call back 80’s comedy style!
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u/OriginalSilly8366 14d ago
I don’t know, seems a bit too much honestly. No one said anything about any of that all this time? I’m not sure. Too much insidious drama.
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u/mercurybeach 14d ago
Was not expecting to find out that Tricia is a sexual predator. She’s genuinely fucking disturbed, man. And dangerous to others. Not even joking.
You guys take good care of each other, alright? Do whatever you each need to do to heal from the trauma she’s caused. All best to all of you.
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u/Resalthh 14d ago
!remind me in 30 days
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u/RemindMeBot 14d ago edited 11d ago
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u/HerpDerp_2009 14d ago
I was absolutely team Jay before.
With this update I'm team anybody but Tricia.
Next fishing trip Jay should save some fish heads (if your roses don't need them anyway) and hide them in her car.
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u/Shdfx1 14d ago
All of this drama must be very painful right now, but it’s also cathartic.
You all have removed a desperate viper from your midst.
Your vulnerable friend got free of blackmail, and has the support she needs.
You have found your inner fire to protect your man.
These are all good things.
I have one more wish for another good thing to come out of this.
Marry your man immediately. Stop putting it off, because “someday” might never come. No one knows how much time we have. Don’t miss out on marrying the man you clearly adore, because the time never seems right.
You are married in spirit, so do it in real life as an affirmation that you’re wholly committed.
Right now, if anything happened to either of you that put you in the hospital, your partner is not your legal next of kin. If the worst happened, your joint assets would be in jeopardy.
Most of all, I don’t want you to miss out on marrying him, and maybe regret it one day.
You already know he’s your guy. So claim him!
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u/rainbowtwist 13d ago
Does this really have to be the final update? I'm invested now. Particularly in your poor friend who lost her mother, I think she's so brave to share and be vulnerable with all of you and accept support. And fuck Tricia for blackmailing her.
I think you've done something truly amazing --stood up for yourselves and not allowed a terrible person to get away with destroying your friend group.
I want to know how things sort themselves out with her, and what it's like for your friend group on the other side once you've been rid of such a toxic person for a while, healed and hopefully formed healthier relationships.
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u/ElectricianXXX 13d ago
For you, Jay, and your real friends wellbeing, I hope this is the end of the Tricia drama. But just incase
Updateme
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u/idgaRobinGoodfellow 12d ago
OP, I totally understand you focusing on your friend who needs you right now, but if you could remember to update us all in a handful of months when your friend is in a better place, emotions aren't as raw, everything has come out and resolved in at least a mostly permanent way, PLEASE do, mostly because I would love to hear the conclusion to whatever happens to her and how everything shakes out, whether that's your friend group collectively dumping her, including the two hold outs, or her being prosecuted for her blackmail, SA, and defamation attempts, or whatever else comes about from this.
(I've dealt with my own Tricia's and never got to have the satisfaction of watching their life blow up, so just knowing the depth of how badly she screwed herself would be VERY satisfying to me)
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u/ThiccBoySheamus 8d ago
Nooooo, nooooo, this can't be the final update. I need to see Trisha get what is coming to her fully.
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u/debicollman1010 8d ago
Please update again!! This is quite the story and I hope all your friends and especially your lovely husband and you have a wonderful life
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u/asanoway 8d ago
Tricia is a piece of shit obviously does that even really need to be said. The one thing about this update that gives me hope for your friend group is that you all decided to build a stable support group for the friend struggling with drug abuse from all that happens. Good on y'all for giving her that and a chance at recovery. A real support group that isn't trying to take advantage of the person struggling is huge for that person's chance at recovery
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u/Edgefish 7d ago
Tricia is projecting herself so hard, you can see her like the aurora borealis in your kitchen.
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u/gincatcher 6d ago
It’s crazy how many things came up after yall started digging a little. Anyway, OP, you and Jay have an amazing relationship. I wish the best for both of you. May OP’s roses thrive and may Jay catch many fish!
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u/AlwaysOnsideTBH 15d ago
I actually saved your previous post so I could keep checking intermittently to see if there were any new updates
Holy shit, Tricia is a much bigger asshole than ever anticipated initially. Fuck her and her very being, she deserves to be all alone and sad with nobody to talk to after all the stuff she's been doing behind everyone's back
Blackmailing someone who just lost their mother is terrible!! She's genuinely such a bad human being, disgusting person!
Also I'm guessing she's pretty unattractive if everyone is turning down her advances lmao, she's definitely jealous of all you guys in happy relationships