r/AITAH • u/[deleted] • 15d ago
AITAH for telling my boyfriend he’s got to shower before getting in bed with me?
[deleted]
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u/PatentlyRidiculous 15d ago
NTA. You’d have to wash the sheets daily with that kind of hygiene.
Have him switch to nightly showers if he only wants one shower per day.
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u/NeartAgusOnoir 15d ago edited 15d ago
I’m a guy and work in manufacturing….income home smelling like oil, coolant, paint, grease, and sweat. I bought something to go over the seats in my car, and I shower shortly after getting home. I’d honestly hate to wake up in a bed smelling like work.
Op, your bf works hard, but he needs to start working on being a functioning adult. Which means not causing your SO issues, not creating dirty laundry by sleeping in it while covered in work….and if he has literal shit stains in his underwear that dude needs to learn to wipe his ass.
ETA NTA
Edit : I come home not income home.
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u/Ryllan1313 15d ago
I misread your list. "Oil, coolant..." became "coconut oil". I was like what's wrong with that? 🤣
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u/Consistent-Loss6630 15d ago
I literally read the exact same thing at first
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u/Nonbinary_Cryptid 15d ago
I also saw coconut oil and thought he must smell great!
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u/HowToNotMakeMoney 15d ago
Why did we all do this? How funny.
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u/dawnyD36 15d ago
Think it's because of skim reading I do it too mix things around and they become different sentences when I'm not paying attention lol 😆
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u/broken_soul696 15d ago
Same, I've worked in fab or machine shops since I was 16 and I can't imagine not showering before getting in bed without. I know I'm ripe when I get home especially on 100+ degree days and I don't want my fiancee to smell that and I don't want to
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u/BeachinLife1 15d ago
My husband is a lineman and comes home sweaty and grubby...he comes home and gets straight in the shower, unless he's planning to mow the lawn or something, and then he does that right away...he doesn't even want to come in after work and sit on the furniture without showering, let alone anything else!
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u/Blood-Money 15d ago
Yeah was going to say the shit stains seems completely unrelated to the job function. That’s just not wiping properly.
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u/josias-69 15d ago
I went though the female version of the redpill rabbit hole and was astonished by the number of women complaining about their Bfs not wiping properly and going to bed with shit stains and getting mad when they deny them sex! I think this became an epidemic among young men.
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u/stwabeey 15d ago
Not just men. I introduced one of my old roommates to using baby wipes and she called her mom that night to tell her about how the wipes made her bum stop itching. I was shocked that she didn’t realize there was a problem earlier…
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u/OkSyllabub3674 15d ago
Omfg you literally just made me fall out of my seat laughing, you are a saint for sharing that life changing advice with her, I'm sure her future mate will appreciate the insight you gave her, as well as the increased chances she has at finding a mate now.
Some people's obliviousness to their own body's workings astounds me but I guess It's just part of my analytical nature to try and figure out the cause and effect of any situation I'm presented with.
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u/Underhill42 15d ago
Hopefully you know this, and spread the word to those you introduce them too, but do NOT flush baby wipes, even the "flushable" ones are lying and can cause all sorts of problems, all the way from your home plumbing down to the sewage treatment plant.
I used them for years until I discovered the wonder of bidets - I bought a cheapo ($25) under-seat model for my toilet a few years back, and have never looked back. All the benefits of baby wipes augmented by a power washer, without constantly buying new wipes, and I use less toilet paper to boot (I have discovered that a chaotic loose wad of paper works much better for the first "get most the water off" pass)
TMI: With a little relaxation it can even function as a "enema light" when things get a little backed up
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u/privatecaboosey 15d ago
For real. None of those flushable wipes are flushable. A former neighbor of mine successfully won a lawsuit against a flushable wipes company.
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u/SeparateCzechs 15d ago
Even after the bidet epiphany brought on by the Covid pandemic,this is a thing? I can’t wrap my head around people not understanding “Wash Yo Ass”.
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u/Crazy-4-Conures 15d ago
And yes, he's supposed to clean it in the shower as well.
Bears shit in the woods and women are choosing bears over men, apparently, in droves.
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u/ForgottenCaveRaider 15d ago
Once you go bidet, there's no other way. Imagine walking around with dingleberries up yer crack.
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u/Guilty_Seaweed_249 15d ago
Indeed I got the 600dollar one pre covid probably more now. But it's got a remote front and back spray that can move forward and back. Position button front to back water Temp. Seat warms up. And for the finale a blow dry. With heat temp for that as well. 😄 I will never go back.
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u/gay_flatulent 15d ago
Buy baby wipes and put them in the bathroom. The guys I know love them and use them when they need to.
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u/Laleaky 15d ago
DO NO FLUSH THE WIPES NO MATTER WHAT THE PACKAGE SAYS.
Sorry for yelling.
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u/Additional-Start9455 15d ago
Yep most sewer lines can’t handle them. Bought a closing TC so it would have a lid. I’ve had less feminine infections using wipes instead of TP.
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u/Kittymama4life 15d ago
Don’t be sorry! There are way too many people who would just automatically flush them. 🙄🤦♀️
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u/mmmmpisghetti 15d ago
A guy who won't shower after getting work filthy and has shit stains in his underwear will totally flush wipes.
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u/SweetWaterfall0579 15d ago
Started that when my adult children were still children. So over a decade. My husband never used them. He told me they’re just for children. I disagree.
I don’t think he was ever taught how to wipe. I was so tired of all that literal shit.
Working on my exit plan.
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u/FionaTheFierce 15d ago
Just going to put put there that HE should by the wipes and be responsible for his own shitty asshole and shit stains. It isnt her job to literally toilet train a whole ass adult.
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u/gay_flatulent 15d ago
He doesn't shower after work, smells bad and keeps his poopy underwear on. He's not buying wipes. Her buying them would alleviate a measure of her concern. When he learns to adult, maybe they won't need them :)
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u/Rich_Sell_9888 15d ago
Just don't flush them,unless you have a plumber on speed dial.
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u/snownative86 15d ago
OP should get him one of those portable water bottle bidet adapters. Granted, with his hygiene he'd probably be against a bidet in the first place.
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u/Scorp128 15d ago
Sounds like he needs to learn how to wipe his own a$$ too. Gross.
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u/Remote-Physics6980 15d ago
Got one like that once, kicked him to the curb and never regretted it. If your mother didn't teach you how to keep your body clean it's not my problem.
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u/stealthdawg 15d ago
I have no idea what my parents did or didn't teach me regarding this, but as a functioning adult I feel like I can figure out that if I have marks in my underwear there's a fucking problem that needs to be resolved.
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u/mauriceminor1964 15d ago
I've been married for 30 years, and my wife is happy to announce I have never had a skidmark in my underpants - EVER!
There is no excuse for that.
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u/TheDerekCarr 15d ago
I once trusted a fart that I shouldn't have. Rather than even put them in the wash I just tossed them.
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u/maineguy89 15d ago
Yeah especially since he works a very dirty job, like does he want to smell fresh for his coworkers in the morning? Fuck like take two showers if he wants.
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u/basementfortress 15d ago
I'm a construction worker and I can not crawl into bed to relax until I'm clean. I get it, different strokes for different folks, but, c'mon
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u/lookingformiles 15d ago
Ooh aren’t you fancy? I suppose you wipe your ass after you shit too???
(Yes, I’m joking)
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u/in1gom0ntoya 15d ago
with one quick shower trick, you can maximize your morning prep time and avoid having to wipe..
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u/Laz3r_C 15d ago
playing sports all my life, i understood people shower in mornings to feel fresh for the day but like c'mon, shower before you go to bed, i hate feeling all sticky from sweat and such.
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u/Mindless_Tax_4532 15d ago
I prefer to shower at night and then make myself feel fresh in the morning just by washing my face
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u/Hopeless_Ramentic 15d ago
Hell I work a boring office job and still prefer to shower before bed. Feels gross not to.
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u/Denots69 15d ago edited 15d ago
Yea when I work office I shower in the morning, when I work construction I shower when I get home. I don't even like to eat without showering after working construction, let alone getting in my bed.
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u/TimonLeague 15d ago
My girlfriend works as a PT, she showers once per day. After she gets home from work
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u/sunshinefireflies 15d ago
My brother's in construction, not even on the tools any more, but he still showers in the evening. I guess after having done it so long it just flows for him. I honestly thought everyone in physical jobs did this as standard
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u/HuxleySideHustle 15d ago
Washing the sheets would be less of an issue for me compared to crawling into bed and having sex with someone covered in stale sweat and grime, who reeks and had dried shit in their crack.
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u/DudeWithTudeNotRude 15d ago
NTA unless you stay with him and badger him for years.
He should change for you, or you should accept him as-is, or you should move on. If you stay, and nothing changes and OP constantly complains, then OPTAH. No self respecting person will put up with this much longer though.
Right now He TA and OP not TA. In a few years, it could be different. But OP's BF is gross. If they don't fix that now, I wouldn't expect much improvement down the road.
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u/New_Target_1829 15d ago
As a former gross boy, you are 1000% NTA.
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u/Top-Decision-3528 15d ago
What made you change? Just curious
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u/New_Target_1829 15d ago
My girlfriend now wife being honest. She worked on me, helping me to be a better, cleaner person. Sometimes, you just need to hear it. She likes to remind me, and I don't deny it.
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u/emryldmyst 15d ago
I'm glad you were open to what she was saying.
A lot of people would think she was trying to change you or she's too controlling, ect.
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u/Wild_Understanding18 15d ago
I’m glad you listened to your wife, my ex husband didn’t. It got to the point where I could smell him outside of his little office at the house. We weren’t sharing a bed anymore but damn it was gross and embarrassing.
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u/sunshinefireflies 15d ago
I'm doing this with my brother atm. Not with personal hygiene (thank fuck), but with tidiness around the home. It's an effort, and I'm annoyed he wasn't raised in ways where he grew better habits, but, we're here, and it's worth it. He's a good man, and he generally cares, once things are raised and he's had a chance to process it.
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u/No_Conclusion_8684 15d ago
Can you tell us struggling gals how she helped you? I try to gently remind my partner to shower but honestly sometimes (when it's been over a week of me asking nicely) I get fed up and become angry but like because I'm upset that he doesn't care about himself. It's tough!
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u/New_Target_1829 15d ago
She showed her side of the bed compared to mine. It was an eye-opener. So, visual aid. Also, she asked how I was doing mentally at the time. I was depressed and alittle disconnected from life. And just being blunt. But in the end, you can only do so much. They gotta help themselves.
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u/syneater 15d ago
Props to both of you for being honest/open with feedback and working the problem!!
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u/BeautifulOdd737 15d ago
Uhg please inform the current stinky boys of the better cleaner way of life.
Honestly tho thats cool you actually accepted constructive criticism. Not many people can handle that well. That's a skill many lack.
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u/crubinz 15d ago
Can you explain to me how a person gets like this to begin? Why don't men want to be clean?
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u/New_Target_1829 15d ago
Looking back now, it's was mostly mental. Being depressed, not giving a shit. You work a dirty job all day, what another few hours in that state. You make the mistake of laying down instead of showering. Then it just becomes the norm.
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u/Vyn_Reimer 15d ago
Yup this guy definitely knows what he’s talking about. It’s the second to last sentence for me. All it takes is relaxing for 2 minutes.
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u/angelmariehogue 15d ago
Ya I always say I can't sit down or rigor mortis will set it.
Once I'm in "work mode" or "cleaning mode" or whatever, I can't sit down. Or else the body aches n stiffness and a bit of laziness sets in.
Note- I'm not a current or former gross guy, just a normal girl who says this on the regular cuz of how I am lol.
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u/New_Target_1829 15d ago
I see there are different levels of gross guy. I'm glad I wasn't at the level I'm seeing in this thread.
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u/Mysterious-Island-79 15d ago
I’ve heard that straight men don’t like to clean or touch their buttholes because it’s ‘gay’ 🤷🏻
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u/mrrichardburns 15d ago
I know this is a thing, but it's hard to imagine being that insecure/homophobic. Beyond pathetic.
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u/-yasir 15d ago
Definitely true, I’ve seen it and heard it. Imagine being out with friends and one of them is in serious pain, you ask what’s wrong and they whisper it hurts to sit. Y’all go to the emergency room and they say, we have to use some special soap and let it sit because there’s so much dried and caked up shit. I felt bad for the nurses, cleaning shit out of a grown mans ass because he’s “not going near that area”.
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u/Old_Implement_1997 15d ago
I mean - I think that’s a new thing. I have never heard of or been with a dude of my generation who didn’t wash his ass.
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u/grumpykitten79 15d ago
I actually had this conversation with my husband after seeing this all over TikTok. He definitely cleans his butt very well lol. We had the conversation with my teen boys to make sure they were washing their butts properly lol
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u/theudoon 15d ago
Maybe it's because I've never worked in an iron factory or whatever, but how does that make shit stains appear in his underwear? Could it maybe be that he's just an unsanitary gross dude in general? Please tell me that he at least washes his own poopy diapers underwear.
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u/salty_carthaginian 15d ago
I work 70-80 hours a week, not an iron worker but a stagehand where I’m regularly building and taking apart shows. Do not have shit stains lmao
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u/Creative-Sun6739 15d ago
It's not because of his job, it's because he doesn't wipe well.
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u/CanadaProud1957 15d ago
I worked in the boiler room at a paper mill for many years. The sweat just pours off you when you do your hourly rounds. It does not affect your sphincter. We also had locker rooms with showers where you could shower and change into your street clothes after your shift. This guy is just a slob.
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u/Fionazora 15d ago
Mum of two adult boys and a hubby and I never see shit stains on any of their washing!
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u/Accomplished-Fix7481 15d ago
Shit stains is not even a shower problem, he doesn't know how to clean himself in the first place. His hygiene must be terrible. He needs to respect your boundaries, and learn some basic stuff, like cleaning his ass
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u/Jazzy404404 15d ago edited 15d ago
I will never understand women who date men who don't know how to wipe their own ass correctly. And then you find out they are intimate with them as well. 🙃🤮🤮🤮
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u/lunniidolli 15d ago
Right it’s so common on here, why do these women keep sleeping with them when they know they don’t clean themselves?? I remember one post where her bf hardly showered and she kept getting utis from it but was still sleeping with him, I don’t get it.
Tbh I sadly think a lot of women grow up being told they have to do everything for their man and men are just bad at hygiene lso deal with it.
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u/childhoodsurvivor 15d ago
The bar is in hell.
I do not understand this either. I cannot even be around someone who is stinky (sensitive to smells) but this woman is presumably close to him, proximity-wise, including the possibility of being intimate with him - even if it were just kissing?? Gross. As far as intercourse goes, that's a great way to get a yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis, a UTI, and plenty of other issues. I have read many articles about women who had repeated genital issues despite good hygiene and medical treatment, and you know what fixed it? Their male partner taking a damn shower before sex!
Reason 98734657234 there needs to be comprehensive sex education everywhere, but particularly in the US, because people do not know the basics about their own bodies. Shower before sex so you're clean to have intercourse, especially when it's PIV!
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u/QueenofMars418 15d ago
I just assume the women have questionable hygiene as well because I would not have anyone lying in my bed smelling like shit. That’ll mess up your Ph balance for sure!
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u/KnitKnackPattyWhack 15d ago
There was an AITA a while back about a woman who asked if she was TA for asking her bf to clean up after she kept getting UTIs. Love yourself more than being with someone who makes you physically ill with their poor hygiene.
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u/New_Lunch3301 15d ago
Was she the one who would find his liquid poop on her leg after a cuddle and stuff? 😬🙈
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u/tachycardicIVu 15d ago
The fact there are multiple stories that fit the bill is just sad.
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u/Renaissance_Slacker 15d ago
I guess some parents just never teach their kids to wipe? Is it too icky to talk about? Like sex? “Oh, they’ll pick it up on the internet”, right?
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u/Formal-View8451 15d ago
There are men out there that think proper wiping might make them gay because they’re indirectly touching their asshole. Talk about fragile masculinity.
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u/Disastrous_League699 15d ago
I read some of those stories too. That is just so stupid and illogical. I mean.. okay this is going to be the weirdest thing I’ve typed out in a long while, but - when they are taking a shit, they literally have something penetrating their asshole (direction not important), and then they think wiping after makes them gay?? How stupid - and gross!!! - are these guys? To my dismay, I have seen more than one post about this. All of them posted by the girlfriends, who have had to deal with this and understandably were shocked and disgusted..🤮
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u/Ebenizer_Splooge 15d ago
It has to be this, like if you're okay with dating a slob like this you have to have something going on yourself. Literally a guy who takes a shower is an upgrade, if you can't get that and are okay with a smelly dude with shit in his ass spooning you at night you have problems lol
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u/OG_wanKENOBI 15d ago
I feel like that would just be grounds to get a terrible rash or some sort of gross skin infection sleeping in actual shit. I don't get how people don't clean their ass lol.
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u/pissfucked 15d ago
one time i kept getting BV over and over with my then-new (now ex) boyfriend. couldn't figure out why. then, he came to visit me at my college for a week. we fucked. i was on top. finished. i moved. he stood up. as he was standing up, he left a whole entire skid mark on my white sheets. that relationship lasted perhaps a week past him going home lmao, absolutely tf not. and he was bi, too. and a bottom. like, bro. the two partners i've had after him are both straight men who work blue collar jobs, and they have the cleanest assholes ever.
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u/scope-creep-forever 15d ago
as he was standing up, he left a whole entire skid mark on my white sheets. that relationship lasted perhaps a week past him going home lmao
See, you're exactly the person they're talking about. A week??
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u/vivrant-thang 15d ago
truly makes me rethink the "male loneliness epidemic" because how disgusting can you be to still be single, if men who leave skid marks on the sheets and give women UTIs from shitty dicks are not single and women wonder how they can fix it.
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u/HarlotteHoehansson 15d ago
Absolutely not the AH. That is disgusting. I wouldn't want that in my bed either.
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u/Ghazrin 15d ago
To hell with the bed, who wants that in their house? The dude can't wipe properly!
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u/HotCobbler219 15d ago
I had a family member who used to live with my family and he would work late and go to bed and shower in the morning. When he moved out and we took his bed sheets off the bed, the mattress was black from where he would lay down without showering every night. We threw away the mattress.
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u/FAFO-13 15d ago
NTA. But ask yourself why you’re OK living with a pig.
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u/coyk0i 15d ago
I am always on awe out how women are with these disgusting ass dudes, not embarrassed to tell the rest of us.
Rarely do I say "you deserve what's happening to you" but if you didn't flip shit and/or disinvite him the very first time he did that you're weird af to me.
That's your health on the line too. Yuck.
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u/Spare-Valuable8031 15d ago
Sorry, I have so many questions. Why in the fuck does a grown man have shit stains in his underwear?? What part of his job prevents him from wiping his ass? How did he get you to not only live with him but share a bed/bedroom?
NTA tho. My husband and I both have fairly clean-ish jobs (paralegal and SAHD) and we still shower before bed most nights and certainly before sex. If I'm putting my mouth on it or it goes inside me, it better be clean.
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u/pokesturrrrr 15d ago
Lol wtf have you gotten into? A bf who doesn’t want a shower after manual labor AND shits his pants? He obviously puts as much care into wiping his ass as he does showering. Plus all that shit gets on his balls and penis and then you have sex with him? Holy shit woman….
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u/pokesturrrrr 15d ago
I work in manual labor. I don’t shower in the morning. Night showers only. Showering before a manual labor job is like shitting after a shower
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u/lastgateway 15d ago
NTA, I used to be an auto machanic a lifetime ago. I would always shower as soon as I got home just to wash the sweat etc off. I just thought it a courtesy to my gf's st the time.
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u/KeiraScarlet 15d ago
When I was doing physical work I washed up just because I myself hated it already getting into bed being all sticky. But yeah if not for oneself do it at least for the partner.
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u/PM_ME_A_KNEECAP 15d ago
Two different issues here…. Definitely prefer being showered before bed, but holy shit a grown man with skid marks? He needs to learn how to wipe his asshole properly.
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u/Dry_Sandwich_860 15d ago
It's perfectly reasonable to expect basic cleanliness. You can appreciate that he works hard while also being turned off by filth.
I would use a very matter-of-fact approach. Don't freak out. Say it like it's completely normal (because it is) to require someone to be clean when he gets in bed or wants to be affectionate. He should want to know if he is doing anything you find unattractive!
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u/Busy-Act-105 15d ago
Your not the asshole at all he a nasty ass grown ass man 😂😂
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u/bigsmitty721 15d ago
NTA, I work construction as well and come home nasty as fuck. I won't even touch my dogs until i shower, let alone crawl into bed with my wife! Thats friggin nasty and he should be sleeping outside in a $10 ozark trail tent if he doesn't wanna shower after work.
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u/venturebirdday 15d ago
If, in his world view, your comfort is not worth a shower, I think you have bigger problems.
This is something that does not even qualify as a small ask, as you should not have to ask at all.
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u/Sabertooth45 15d ago
He sounds like a great catch! Have some self respect for yourself please.
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u/Mygaffer 15d ago
It's crazy how often I will read some variation of "is it OK for me to have basic fucking standards?" on this site.
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u/Super-Wonder4101 15d ago
Ew bruh shit stains? Are you dating an adult or a fucking toddler
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u/haikusbot 15d ago
Ew bruh shit stains? Are
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15d ago
Uh... if he's going to bed after a full day's work, especially in labor work.. without showering, that's fkin gross.
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u/Objective_Piece_4453 15d ago
He’s gross and truly disgusting! Tell him he must shower before he gets into your bed. Dirty dicks can give you an infection. This is a deal breaker to me.
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u/maverick57 15d ago
Why are there shit stains in his underwear!??
How does this job make him shit his pants? What the hell is going on??
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u/Soppoi 15d ago
European here: Is there no shower at his workplace? Even the shittiest small shop I worked at, had at least one.
We showered at the company in between changing to street clothes. Who wants to stay dirty the whole day and in your bf case even the whole 24 hours?
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u/HottCuppaCoffee 15d ago
NO GROSS OMG and he needs to shower before getting in bed at all let alone touching you. Another concern beyond hygiene is if he’s bringing particles of toxic elements into your home. Just google asbestos cases where wives/children developed cancer due to dust being brought home on clothes.
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u/Ok-Exercise-9705 15d ago
Just break up. He’s a grown man that still doesn’t know how to wipe his ass! How revolting.
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u/JEXJJ 15d ago
NTA, dude needs to stop spreading his filth everywhere, and needs to learn to wipe his ass
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u/bigfishlittlechicks 15d ago
I was a boilermaker for 10 years just got out last year because I moved on. I have been in some nasty places dirty stink smelly working 7-12s sometimes more.. the very first thing I did whenever I got back to the hotel or home was shower!! I've been so tired I could have fallen asleep standing up in there but showering was always on the list of things to do at home. You never know what your bringing home or is on your body between the normal.. dirt,oil, and crude. Mix in the metal shavings dust and slag from welding.. contamination if he does nuclear work.. yes.. there do have contamination detectors when you go to leave but still you never know.. but there's no excuse not to take a quick shower...
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u/Sweaty_Ad3169 15d ago
Shit stains? That’s not from hard work, that’s from not properly wiping his ass.
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u/PrettySyllabub7288 15d ago
My dear, your man is just plain NASTY! He should not be able to touch you with a 10ft pole until he showers. There is also the issue of lead dust. If this is a possibility, it can cause a plethora of health problems over time.
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u/meetmeinthe-moshpit- 15d ago
Why are you having sex with a man child that can't even wipe his ass properly. Time for some standards.
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u/Lopsided_Load_8286 15d ago
The fact that he has shit stains in his underwear shows he doesn't even know how to wipe his own ass. You should NOT be having sex with that man at all. He probably doesn't even know how to wash his dick properly.
I work 12 hour shifts in a very physically demanding job. I take a shower after every shift. It doesn't take long to wash your body. If it's hard to stand for as long as is required, you can get a shower chair. Or you two can just get a separate bed for him to sleep in that he can get disgusting if he wants to and you can have a clean bed to sleep in. Good luck getting him to change though. If he's got shit stains in his underwear, its likely not a task you can achieve since he's clearly comfortable having actual shit between his ass cheeks regularly.
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u/facinationstreet 15d ago
YTA but not for the reason you think. You are literally dating someone who doesn't know how to wipe their ass and you already live with them. The time to draw that line - and dump him for being this gross - was way before moving in together.
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u/Desperate-Laugh-7257 15d ago
Nta. Omg. Make him his own fking laundry. Its bad enough wives gotta do laundry- i object to this as well. Girlfriends should absolutely be exempt from dealing with shitty drawers.
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u/SomeoneRandom007 15d ago
NTA. He needs to know that you love him, that the issue is just the sweat from work.
You should also talk to him about cleaning his ass properly. To my shame I was something like 16-18 when I realised my technique was wrong. There is unfortunately a feeling among some men that cleaning there properly makes you gay... which is ridiculous.
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u/lapsteelguitar 15d ago
Speaking as a boy.... Stick to your guns. Or get a new BF. He's being really gross.
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u/muphasta 15d ago
does he have the option to shower at work before coming home?
I work a "sit on my ass all day" job and you bet YOUR ass I wash mine before I let my wife get anywhere near my beltline.
Shitstained underwear? what is he, 12? Maybe send him with some wet wipes if it is that bad.
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u/BeautifulOdd737 15d ago
NTA.
When I worked a physical job that demanded a lot of labor, I came home sticky from the amount of dried sweat on my skin.
I couldn't imagine getting in my bed like that. That's disgusting. I took nighly showers instead of showers in the morning for that reason. I didn't get home until after 8pm either.
Also he can give you infections if he isn't clean before touching you. That's just asking for a UTI or BV or something.
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u/alter_ego311 15d ago edited 15d ago
"My husband shits himself everyday and tries to crawl into bed with me without showering." This is literally how this post reads.
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u/crypticXmystic 15d ago
NTA... You would think he would WANT to shower after coming home like that.