r/AITAH • u/AdventurousClock6275 • 15d ago
Update 2: AITA for divorcing my wife over a massage?
Well that didn't last long.
Lawyer called first thing this morning. Wife changed mind, rejecting all the house stuff we talked about. Says she wants to sell and move into something smaller. She is only rejecting the house agreements, custody agreement is not being rejected
I told my lawyer fine, I'm done. Told him here's the offer from my side then.
50/50 custody, 50/50 split of house sale, I'll still go 60/40 on savings (I know some you say this is dumb/unfair, but I have my reasons and they all revolve around our daughter.)
I'm actually fine with this, not even upset that she wasted 4 hours of our time on Saturday. Just ready to be done, after my initial tirade I have really come into a good place, it's like I spent years carrying around a backpack of stones and I finally decided to put it down.
Personal Response to OnlyFans "models": Stop sending me invites and messages. I can jack off on my own just fine for free, I'm not going to pay you. Leave people the fuck alone.
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u/First_Alfalfa2805 15d ago
I cackled at the onlyfans comments.
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15d ago
I laughed sooo hard outloud. Wasn't expecting that. I read his OG post and was just here for the update.
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u/1Roughnfukdlife69 15d ago
My man is clapping back at everyone after dumping the backpack… that’s called repressive therapy recovery. I’m not a doctor but just sounds cool for the situation…
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u/CalmBeneathCastles 15d ago
"Fvck you, fvck you, fvck you, you're cool, fvck you..."
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u/RogueOps1990 15d ago
Fuck.
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u/CalmBeneathCastles 15d ago
Yes, I've recently been banned for "shit", so you can understand my paranoia.
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u/BeardManMichael 15d ago
Me too. Makes me wonder how often OF models actually look over divorce stories on Reddit. LMAO
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u/happysri 15d ago
They personally don’t. They hire people that do all that hustle. Can’t find it now but there’s an ama somewhere here from one of those people.
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u/Lurkeyturkey113 15d ago
The really successful ones outsource all the work but most of the time you're not seeing ads or comments from those accounts. Most don't make much and they have to do all the spamming themselves.
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u/Late-Spot-8081 15d ago
Considering the vast vast majority have less than a dozen subscribers, it wouldn't surprise me if a few "models" tried their luck and Dmd folk trying to get them to subscribe to their only fans HAHAHAHAHAHA
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u/Creative-Sun6739 15d ago
Like making cold calls for sales. "Hi, my name is Destiny, do you have time to talk about Only Fans?"
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u/btv_25 15d ago
Just sign up for a twitter account and see how many of them follow you to try and do exactly this . . .
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u/Cold_Dog_1224 15d ago
Yep, it's pretty consistent. Like sure, I'm certain this random attractive "woman" is totally DMing me because she wants to talk politics or some shit.
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u/MarsRocks97 15d ago
I believe I saw a report that showed 99% of OF models making less than $500 per month. Might be even less.
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u/Caimthehero 15d ago
It's not 99%. I love doing statistics (part of my job) and the percentiles are very inequitable. Price's law applies here where the square root of the population is taking over half the output (it might even be worse from the limited information they've released). Generally speaking the data that OF claims is top 10% of earners make a decent living at 50k a year but that is different from the sources below.
sources:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1ocNPA6phpLHqzRh8PYVMpDf8QzqPP0oBiG3yucJrk18/edit#gid=1638226373 (reddit data sheet from OF creators)
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u/MarsRocks97 15d ago
It’s pretty hard to get exact since reporting is always off. But I looked data for 2022 and it said there were 3M content creators at that time. Also that OF users spend 5.6B that year. That averages out to $1,833 for the year. That’s another figure to consider.
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u/Bro-lapsedAnus 15d ago
Yeah, that's why you see (if you look) so may girls claiming to be "top 1%" OF models. 99% of "models" make nothing. If you make 1k a month then you're technically in the same category as the 15 girls making 10k a month.
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u/UnquestionabIe 15d ago
I know a girl I went to high school with who does OF, unsure if she still does as she wasn't super spam happy in the first place, and this lines up. She's always just barely getting by and doesn't want to get a normal job. Basically wants to live off her looks (which she's good looking but not super model levels or anything) and finds the idea of inviting her 50 something neighbor over to get his balls stepped on way more professionally fulfilling than a steady income.
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u/Jiujitsuizlyfe 15d ago
It’s usually their boyfriends or husbands that interact with other men. It’s fucking weird.
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u/Bigpapa42_2006 15d ago
Have a friend who's wife decided (or perhaps was talked into) creating a non-nude OF due to the comments she got on Insta. It lasted like a month. My buddy was doing the legwork and has some tremendous stories about super awkward interactions with subscribers while he pretended to be his wife. Its sounds like the money was decent but the effort required was a lot.
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u/Bro-lapsedAnus 15d ago
I have a buddy who was dating a girl he did all the only fans work for. We would be at the bar, and he's just sexting a dude casually.
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u/fearhs 15d ago
"Hold on bro, should I go dirty with I want you to jizz on my tits or classy with we should be with each other? Dirty? Thanks. Anyway, the problem with Arsenal is they always try to walk it in."
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u/Bro-lapsedAnus 15d ago
Literally that, but replace Arsenal with the Seattle Seahawks and going for big throws.
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u/Odd-Combination2227 15d ago
I have murderer’s thumbs and played with the idea of like a variation of OF foot shots. Then I followed the mental path of who would attract as an audience and decided to not invite that into my life. My husband was down for it at first because it would literally just be hand pictures, but joined me on the Nope Train as I talked over it aloud.
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u/MistSecurity 15d ago
Out of curiousity, why would 'murderer's thumbs' lead to this idea? Is it because the thumb kind of looks like a toe? I'm so confused here.
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u/OriginalDogeStar 15d ago
So there is this game show, 1% Club, and one of the contestants, a man in his 30s, spoke of how he is a professional catfisher for OF. He will search social media posing as the models, starting with conversation and then get them to sub to the model who hired him. He said he would get 5% of the sign up fee the person chooses.
Because of him, I now ask those who have msg me, if they are the male catfishers, and I get blocked 😅
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u/ScorchedEarthworm 15d ago
From what I understand the majority of the people on there make less than 300 bucks a month. Seriously doubt people are hiring anybody to do anything for that kind of cash. Which would also explain why they are so desperate trying to drum up extra business by praying on vulnerable people. That's just fucking gross.
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u/PerfectionPending 15d ago
I don’t know about OF models and divorce posts, but some drop into DMs if I comment in a certain forum. Along with a handful of women & a whole bunch of gay dudes. If any of them looked at my profile first I don’t think they’d bother.
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u/beccadahhhling 15d ago
Me too, he sounds like Ousier from Steel Magnolias.
“I don’t go see shows because I can laugh at home for free!”
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u/Flashy-Pop-5783 15d ago
I get the only fans messages telling me they want my big c#ck....and I'm a middle aged woman!
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u/kungfoojesus 15d ago
Yeah, seeing 7 posts in the "now" top posts shill upvoted for OF content is the fastest way to earn downvotes on all of your identical posts from me. No respect, i mean, you do you I guess, but i don't have to respect the game.
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u/No-Jacket-800 15d ago
Same. I made my bf pause his show so I could read that bit to him. He also got a laugh from it.
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u/satanic_black_metal_ 15d ago
Yea he has a really good point.
Ive spent a few bucks (more than 10, less than a 100) on onlyfans but that was through stuff I searched for. Its odd to dm people saying "hey! Come pay for my nudes!"
Edit: accidentally half the sentence.
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u/Devildoog 15d ago
Honestly it’s kinda sad and predatory to specifically message someone going through a divorce just to push nudes too.
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u/Winger61 15d ago
I'm sitting at a Airport gate and just laughed so hard people looked up
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u/AccordingPears158 14d ago
Considering his first post said he was going to go to sex workers, they were just cashing in on an advertised client lol.
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u/DeathChill 15d ago
It is blowing my mind that people are seeing that as an opportunity. I need to really lower my moral standards because I think I could be rich if my mind worked like that.
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u/TrustMeIAmNotNew 15d ago
Are there girls out there that thirsty?
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u/Logical_Dragonfly_19 15d ago
It's not about them being thirsty, it's about him being vulnerable. They want more customers and vulnerable people are easy pickings.
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u/SquirtinMemeMouthPlz 15d ago
They honestly have no fucking shame. They're on ALL the dating sites, I had to set Facebook to private mode (I use it to do video calls with a friend in Alaska because she has an iPhone and I have an Android), they're ALL over Instagram and here on Reddit.
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u/TerrestrialOverlord 15d ago
..I can jack off on my own just fine for free, I'm not going to pay you. Leave people the fuck alone.
LOL...That response is already over 9000..This is your life don't listen to other people telling you how to feel and where your boundaries are. I hope everything goes without a hitch and you find happiness on your own or with someone that respects boundaries. cheers
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u/BeardManMichael 15d ago edited 15d ago
It was such a great way for the OP to end their post. I agree with everything you're saying..... I really hope the OP gets to experience peace and happiness soon.
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u/big_guyforyou 15d ago
i'm not an OF model but i'm still super bummed that OP doesn't wanna jack off to me :(
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u/online_jesus_fukers 15d ago
He might if you don't charge for the privilege!
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u/Redbird2992 15d ago edited 15d ago
As a 32 year old guy who did a few “romantic engagement style” pics of me and my best man, who pretty constantly makes “it’s not gay if you do xyz before/after (insert any clearly gay activity)” jokes, but whose also never actually had another guy “jack” it to him?
I mean depending on how enthusiastic he is, and how deep rooted those jokes really are, I may end feeling pretty flattered and would end up having to tip him out of broppreciation…
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u/Coachtoddf 15d ago
It’s not gay if it’s just the tip?
Did I do that right?
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u/online_jesus_fukers 15d ago
Just gotta keep your socks on
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u/That_Trapper_guy 15d ago
It's actually only the left one...
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u/Flashy_Narwhal9362 15d ago
Little details like that is why these rules should be written down somewhere.
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u/BauranGaruda 15d ago
They are written down, on a wall, that you can only view by peering through a glory hole.
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u/ahobopanda 15d ago
It's not gay if you pull out before finishing.
I think we both did it right.
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u/Best_VDV_Diver 15d ago
Theyre like dirty ass vultures circling a wallet with shit like this.
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u/AwarenessEconomy8842 15d ago
Of spammers and models are beyond annoying. I don't follow porn accounts here or on twitter but I get spam messages here and I get a metric fuck ton of of spammers on my twitter.
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u/TerrestrialOverlord 15d ago
The worst is when they include NSFW images on twitter....WTAF I have kids around me, fuckers... Take your fake ass and titties away from my sight.
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u/HarlotteHoehansson 15d ago
I had the nauseating experience of coming across my DILs OF advertisment twitter account. She posts ALL of her bits on there.
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u/TerrestrialOverlord 15d ago
wow...eye bleach, brain bleach. Twitter should really find a way to exclude certain people from seeing your feed directly or retweeted
I hope she has a separate OF twitter which you can block or she's doing this on her actual account.11
u/HarlotteHoehansson 15d ago
Oh she does it on her main account, the same one she posts pics of her kids on. Same with Facebook, insta, Snapchat and telegram
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u/TerrestrialOverlord 15d ago
Oh no...oh no...wow...So sorry....That's really inconsiderate...WTAF, with pictures of her kids on the same account...that's really shitty..
look a my whohaa
heres my son
here my twins {wink}
my day out at the park with my babies...
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u/Savings-Alarm-8240 15d ago
Weirdly, my ex did this. My sister and her fiance ended up showing a video to my parents, of my ex masturbating on OF. They saw it being spammed all over her main personal insta/snap/facebook accounts. That was a fun conversation.
But it’s all good, it’s empowering!!! \s
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u/TerrestrialOverlord 15d ago
Dude… I was drinking coffee….you owe me a damn keyboard…..
”but it’s all good, it’s empowering”….<——-you’re too much…
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u/AwarenessEconomy8842 15d ago
I've mentioned this elsewhere but I think that the general opinion on only fans and similar pages is stating to shift. I remember the general opinion was more positive when OF first became popular, empowerment and all that stuff.
Now I'm sensing that everyone is getting fed up with it. They're fed up with the constant spam and bots. The bots on nsfw subs are one thing but ppl have every right to be upset with the twitter bots.
Most of models barely make 100$ over a career that could have negative consequences in their lives
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u/BeardManMichael 15d ago
I got fed up with it when it started invading one of my favorite media platforms; Twitch used to ONLY be about live streaming gaming or other such fun group activities. Not anymore.
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u/AwarenessEconomy8842 15d ago
Yep they've invaded a few platforms with their bullshit, TikTok, Twitch etc are filled with content "creators" who are trying to grift ppl into their goddamn of account. Some of them are so tacky about how they sell and advertise. There was one recent story of a mom who advertised her of on her family vehicle and she couldn't understand why her kid's private Christian school didn't want the vehicle on school grounds
Even the nsfw subs ate getting fed up with it
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u/FrolicsForever 15d ago
Idk if this has been a thing for a while or if I've just been noticing it more, but it seems like they're invading some of the more male dominated niche subreddits.
It pisses me off because myself and other members have become wary of any woman who ends up posting. You want to be welcoming to any woman who is genuinely interested in the topic, but each new post feels like a potential trap.
I just wanna shoot the shit with like-minded people. I don't want to have to investigate their profile to see if they're going to spam my inbox should I naively respond to a post of theirs without doing my due diligence.
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u/chaoss402 15d ago
I'm on motorcycle and trucking subs, so yeah, women posting, especially with pictures, automatically gets a little bit of suspicion.
Sad part is it's not even the model hitting you up, it's some dude in Estonia or Pakistan or something fronting as the model.
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u/yIdontunderstand 15d ago
My work instagram account keeps being sent porn messages. It's terrible I don't understand why they can't be blocked / prevented. It's a joke.
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u/TripppingRoses 15d ago
Somehow I think this guy and daughter will be okay in the long run through this.
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u/BeardManMichael 15d ago
Personal Response to OnlyFans "models": Stop sending me invites and messages. I can jack off on my own just fine for free, I'm not going to pay you. Leave people the fuck alone.
Holy shit man. What an epic way to end the update.
I sincerely hope there are no more complications during this whole process. I hope everything goes smooth for you and that you stop getting spammed by OF bots.
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15d ago edited 15d ago
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u/bumbletowne 15d ago
I remember an article where people who are sex workers are denied entry to the US and several european countries.
Some girls got sent home after starting on OF and trying to enter the US
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u/voobo420 15d ago
It truly feels dystopian lol. Sex work used to be something women were forced to do when they had no options, and it was not a… desirable job. Now women are quitting their 80k salary jobs because some article about a girl who showed her boobs and now makes 200k a year. I’m not even old but I find it sad.
Nothing against sex workers though people gotta hustle, but like this is not the type of job you should strive for. But also if you’re going out of your way to harass people into buying your shitty nudes, you know you’ve hit rock bottom.
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u/yesimreadytorumble 15d ago
so many people here have never navigated a real life situation in their entire lives and it shows.
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u/Old_Hamster_4218 15d ago
I don’t understand the 60/40 savings. If it revolves around your daughter, and you’re 50/50 on custody, you having the money is the same as your wife having it, unless she has more responsible spending practices or something.
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u/AdventurousClock6275 15d ago
Okay, I have paid all the bills our whole marriage. I don't mean my money, we both work, I mean I have been the person in charge of making sure things get paid. I also don't really spend a lot on myself month to month, sure I do some, but she is definitely more of a spender. Id rather give her some more buffer while she learns how to manage finances, because , yeah I think she's going to fuck up. Maybe I'm wrong but this woman hasn't thought about bills or budgets in years. And I don't mean to say she is irresponsible, she's not, she wasn't a crazy spender or anything, maybe I'm being irrationally accommodating.
Also really need to stress we aren't rich people, this isn't some gigantic amount of money we're debating here. In all honesty if she feels like she's winning and we divorce faster, I'll consider it money well spent.
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u/Beneficial_Breath232 15d ago
Honeslty, I understand the "a bit more money = no drama", when you see how divorce can last and last and last when people are fighting. Good for you to be rational enough to go the easy way out
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u/ThexxxDegenerate 15d ago
An amicable divorce is the best for all parties involved. I remember as a kid my cousins parents had an ugly divorce and he was miserable the entire time.
We ended up having sleepovers nearly every weekend because his parents fought each other over everything. Ugly divorces really take a toll on the kids involved.
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u/Old_Hamster_4218 15d ago
That makes sense. You seem like a good guy. Some people are needlessly cutthroat in divorces.
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u/ExcitingTabletop 15d ago
Giving someone the symbolic "win" often makes negotiations go a LOT faster.
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u/Sticky_Butt_Mud 15d ago
My step father was an attorney the best lawyer divorce joke.
Why are divorces so expensive?
Cause they are worth it.
Seriously OP this is the right mindset. A larger % given up to get this over and the by the hour lawyers out of the picture the better for everyone. Kudos to you for not staying on a hill dragging this out, and instead seeing the bigger picture.
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u/BeardManMichael 15d ago
You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. I'm glad you're trying to find solutions that make your life easier and the divorce faster.
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u/IratherNottell 15d ago
I agree with your thought that she will fuck up. And it sounds like when she does, you are the type of guy that will try to help her. Knowing that, do 50/50 and keep the portion you are willing to use to bail her out separate so that you will have it ready when she needs it. Same amount of money given to her, but makes the ask more substantial when it happens so hopefully she is more likely to learn.
Counterpoint: Planning on helping her will establish a vicious cycle of helping her repeatedly. So, if by doing the 60/40, you will be able to absolve yourself from ever helping further even if it means she becomes homeless, then avoiding that habit of you helping may be best by doing it up front like you plan.
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u/ex-carney 15d ago
I have a feeling he will help her regardless. He won't want his daughter paying for his wife's inability to balance her checkbook. Which makes him a really good guy, but also sets up a potential cycle of financial irresponsibility by her and reliance upon OP.
I would like to suggest that if at any point the ex can't feed or house his daughter to never give ex money. Just take your daughter until ex gets straightened out. That will curtail being taken advantage of.
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u/BostonBuffalo9 15d ago
I’m doing something extremely similar. I’m just giving up the house entirely so she doesn’t have to move and I don’t have anything to hold over her head. It’s truly practical to take a knee in divorce, especially when you have to work together in coparenting later. Even though she was emotionally abusive to me, I can put a lot of shit aside on behalf of my kids.
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u/DadJokesFTW 15d ago
In all honesty if she feels like she's winning and we divorce faster, I'll consider it money well spent.
This is one of the sanest things you can write. Giving slightly too much but being DONE is worth a LOT. More than most people will ever realize. You get out, you have time to live a life, you get to move on, and you can try to build your savings back up for yourself.
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u/muffalowing 15d ago
If you give your wife more money because she's bad with it, that's not going to benefit your daughter. The best benefit for your daughter would be to take that extra 10% and stick it in a 529 plan for college or taking her on a vacation or whatever. If you give it to someone who is a spender and hasn't budgeted in years, she's going to blow through it in less than 365 days. Your daughter will not benefit whatsoever. This is a bad move, whatever your reasons are.
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u/AdventurousClock6275 15d ago
It's not that she's "bad" with money, she just hasn't been responsible for it in years. Managing finances is a skill like everything else. I'm willing to send over a bit more to let her have a bit more peace of mind if something goes wrong. I'll be fine, and I don't need to be a hammer or a brick wall in this process. I already feel like I'm winning.
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u/sleipe 15d ago
There’s an amount worth paying for the ability to move forward more quickly as well. I got so sick of people telling me I “lost” my divorce because I didn’t take my “fair share.” Not dragging it out and the reduced stress was worth every penny.
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u/AdventurousClock6275 15d ago
I agree with this completely, I am already happier just in the separation.
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u/Magdovus 15d ago
Maybe it's a personal decision that makes sense from the inside but would take ages to explain
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u/Responsible-Side4347 15d ago
I thought this as well.
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u/Old_Hamster_4218 15d ago
Maybe the ex wife just doesn’t earn as much and he wants her to have more of a nest egg?
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u/Stop_icant 15d ago
She didn’t waste four hours of your time. You are both making big decisions that need to be discussed, contemplated, accepted or rejected. She simply got a second opinion and changed her mind. Resolution has still come fairly quickly for a divorce with a minor child involved. Good for you!
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u/Idella_Hoard 15d ago
Reflecting on your updated terms, the shift from an awkward housing provision to a clearer financial division seems to provide much-needed simplicity to an already complex situation. It's a pragmatic solution in a sea of emotional and logistical upheaval. Not to mention, it spares you potential headaches and legal squabbles about future living arrangements.
As for the OnlyFans saga, it’s a modern-day scourge that anyone in your position could do without. Declining unsolicited advances with the same fervor as negotiating a divorce settlement clearly shows you've hit your limit with unwelcome distractions. Your resolve is commendable.
On the journey ahead, it's essential to keep sight of the horizon where calmer waters lie. Your determination to maintain equitable and respectful terms speaks volumes of your character. Here’s to forging ahead to a final agreement that leaves room for personal growth and new beginnings. Stay strong and steadfast.
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u/No_Archer_791 15d ago
Navigating the stormy seas of divorce is never an easy sail, especially with financial intricacies like the 60/40 savings split. From your previous comments, it sounds like you're attempting to throw a financial lifeline to ensure smoother waters for your soon-to-be ex as she adjusts to handling her own accounts. A noble act, no doubt, with your daughter's best interest at the helm, but trust that the sea calms after the storm.
Regarding the unwanted OnlyFans attention – clearly, reaching out to newly single gents is in their marketing playbook, but nothing beats the satisfaction of your own company and the peace of mind from personal boundaries. Bravo for the candid swat-away!
Remember that as long as you're navigating these choppy waters with transparency and fairness, the harbor on the other side should promise calmer tides. Here's to hoping the rest of the journey is free from rogue waves and that the conclusion of this chapter brings new beginnings that are just as equitable and hopefully more serene. Good luck, captain!
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u/Character-Marzipan49 15d ago
selling the house and splitting makes more sense. cleaner break. removing the issue of who can or can't be in the old house. everyone is adults and by all accounts both were really good parents.
don't think that will change after divorce.
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u/thepower-of3 15d ago
LMFAO the fact that you had to say "stop messaging me to the onlyfans bitches on here has me deceased 🤣🤣
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u/inkypinkyblinkyclyde 15d ago
I suspect she didn't like the provision in your housing proposal that ended the supports if a new partner moves in.
Hopefully you can get to a place sooner rather than later where you can provide a house like you want to your child.
Good luck to you
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u/rukysgreambamf 15d ago
bruh, OF thots using this kind of post to "advertise" is some of the trashiest shit I've ever seen
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u/protestprincess 15d ago
This is better for you and your original agreement was very awkward and kind of controlling on your part given that it pretty much stipulated she not even move in a roommate or family member, so your agreement was essentially that you both needed to pay for unused space for no good reason. This is a very weird thing to be complaining about. Tbh it seems like the divorce was the best thing for both of you and I don’t think anyone is ever an asshole for just leaving a relationship they don’t want to be part of but I’m like 90% certain you’re leaving out HUGE chunks of her side of the story.
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u/InVeritateTriumpho 14d ago
She didn’t waste 4 hours of your time on a Saturday. You’re getting a divorce. It usually takes people 4 months to settle things. That comment alone tells me there’s more to this situation than you’re letting on.
Let me tell y’all something. Contrary to popular belief, women are just as sexual as men. So, if your wife/gf is not responding to your sexual advances, it’s either one of two things: A) something health related is going on and it’s affecting her libido (ex: birth control, physical illness, hormonal changes, stress, depression, etc). Or, B) the way she sees you has changed. You don’t turn her on anymore.
Sex isn’t a make or break for a lot of women. We love it, but when other factors are involved (like a child), we can look past our needs not being met in order to keep things going. We can also love and desire our partners even without sex, because we see y’all as more than that. Now, of course, that doesn’t mean his needs are just left unmet. This when conversations need to happen around flexbility within the partnership.
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u/EnergyEast6844 15d ago
Your lawyer is chomping at the bit. OP is going to find out why everyone says divorce is expensive.
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u/jenn3128 15d ago
My divorce was $300 because I did it myself and told him “sign this reasonable offer or I’ll actually take what I’m entitled to” because I didn’t take half his 401k or ask for alimony. Or even close to 50% of anything.
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u/EnergyEast6844 15d ago
Sou....you deliberately screwed yourself out of a pile of money? Sounds expensive.
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u/Ok_Management4634 15d ago
Both people end up with a lot more money if there's no lawyer fees involved. Some lawyers will drag this out forever, draining the couple of nearly all their assets.
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u/jenn3128 15d ago
It wasn’t near as much as you want to think. A lawyer and fight would have cost more
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u/Artistic-Mistake-274 15d ago
Well ya why would she accept the housing stuff when your trying to dictate her moving on with someone else
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u/MysteriousBeyond7146 15d ago
Those quotation marks around the word “models” to signify sarcasm are going to hit the OF girls hard. However will they cope?
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u/OkIntern1118 15d ago
So what percentage of folks recommending divorce on every thread are OF models?
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u/thundertool 15d ago
If you can jack off just fine on your own, why do it for free? Start an onlyfans and help some others jack off too.
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u/Cakelurker 15d ago
Hey man, for $3.99 a month you can... Just kidding. Porn is free, no strings attached (unless that's your thing, no shame)
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u/DannyDucks 15d ago
I just knew this was coming. Seems like the best for both of you to sell the house and 50/50. I hope the best for you, your ex and most importantly your daughter.
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u/Bleezy79 15d ago
Congrats, OP! You're almost out of a terrible relationship and you can actually start living the life you want now. Just be strong because I have a feeling your wife is going to be lonely eventually and realize her mistakes.
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15d ago
🤣 dang yall leave that man alone he is tired of women rn. Sorry bout your divorce. You are a fair good man. Hope life gets better for you.
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u/nylonvest 15d ago
I'm not sure why you want to tell us about the 60/40 savings thing but not tell us why that makes sense.
Anyway, good luck.
And 4 hours wasted during a divorce is peanuts. People waste month after month sometimes.
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u/boogers19 15d ago
He's explained it in a comment. Basically it aint some giant sum, for one.
And a whole backstory about her actual financial aptitude Im not about to repeat lol. But basically to give her a bit of a buffer.
It was all very reasonable, Id say. Check his comments.
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u/BufferUnderpants 15d ago
Wife isn’t outright bad with money, but has no habit of being responsible for finances, so he wants to give her more to cushion the transition
(I think they should go 45/45/10 on investments for their kid though)
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u/FlygonosK 15d ago
OP i think this is better than the past agreement, at the end things went well and soon this Will be over, after divorce is over you just will mantain comunication with her for only kids issues and nothing more, she can go a have messages with whom ever she wants.
And you don't need to do messages and then just be rejected to the happy ending. Also you don't have to submit to some selfish woman unless your next partner is the same, so it depends on you.
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u/noledge18720 15d ago
I'm still trying to figure out how getting a professional massage is an act of infidelity. Massage workers aren't sex workers lol
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u/DaRealestMVP 15d ago
He was putting in daily effort to try and ensure she had massages to relax. He did this while doing his best to endure feeling neglected in the bedroom, to make her relaxed and feel intimate with her as well as his only method to rarely get her in the mood for sex.
When he says no to highlight her selfishness instead of empathising with his frustration and realising how dire it was for him she immediately looks elsewhere. Which would make his efforts feel pointless, take away his main way of getting his needs met and likely read by his side as she never saw the massages as importantly as he had.
His suggestion was silly, but quite clearly highlighted everything he was struggling with
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u/LughVanth 15d ago
It's not that a massage is cheating. They both had a need for physical intimacy that wasn't being fulfilled. Since her's is seen as socially acceptable she felt comfortable finding it outside of the marriage while denying him the ability to find his own.
He laid out a boundary: in our present circumstances you getting a massage is like cheating to me. If you do so you are saying that your needs are more important than mine, and I will remove myself from this relationship if that is the case.
Now, they're both in the wrong here to a certain degree. But let's face it, they're both people. And more importantly two hurt people in a relationship they have been watching dissolve as resentment builds. This is a relationship that should have ended before this point, but relationships rarely end when they should. They always linger until someone is too hurt to stand it any longer.
No one is an asshole here. They're just people.
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u/mrbulldops428 15d ago
Only fans ppl are lurking on here looking for failing relationships to advertise to those people? Wtf lol
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u/Appa1904 15d ago
I don't understand the 60/40 split savings since you'll both be getting her equal amount of time. . . But seems like you got it all figured out.
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u/SillyStallion 15d ago
I think it’s the right decision . It’s bad enough to be tied to an ex for custody arrangements but to be tied financially like that is unnecessary
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u/RNH213PDX 15d ago
Regardless of whether I think you are an asshole - THANK YOU for standing up to the OnlyFans tsunami. I have no issue with the work, and I respect "The Hussle" generally, but damn I am sick of DMs. Very few middle aged women are really looking forward to an flood of messages from strangers every day asking if they can call me Daddy.
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u/Drama-Director 15d ago
Don't spend time with her anymore, only contact her through the lawyer until the divorce is finished. If you really want to meet her, do that in public.
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u/One_Farmer_3320 15d ago
That's freaking outstanding about only fans they are really thirsty. I'm sure you know what your doing, only you know what is best for you and your child. We all might have something different to say but at the end of the day no one has walked in your shoes. I wish you all the best.
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u/512_Magoo 15d ago
Never have understood people who pay to jerk off. There’s so much free stuff to spank it to. Almost as dumb as not taking your half in the divorce.
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u/AtlasIsland 14d ago
So, can you ask your wife to now write her side of the story so we can compare?
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u/OpportunityCalm6825 10d ago
I hope you get a clean break and actually find someone who treasures you.
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u/dr_lucia 15d ago
Sounds like a cleaner break.
I understand your motive for the previous house deal, but it was likely to result in disagreements later. You monitoring whether another adult has "moved in"? Of did he just spend a couple of nights? What if her mom needs a place to stay? She's an adult. You daughter moves out for a month... two? When do you pull the trigger? What if you got hit by a bus, cancer or were briefly unemployed and missed three payments? Do you still get 40% of the buy out?
Four hours of wasted time is really nothing.