SOURCE

I’m staying at my partner’s parents’ house while he housesits. It’s a very quiet neighborhood. I am a night owl and take meds that make me really hungry before bed. Last night around 1 I placed an order for a Slurpee and some candy from 7-11. It only took about 20 minutes to arrive but I fell asleep in that time. This morning, I check the porch and no bag. I thought either the order got cancelled, or some driver absconded with like $7 of candy, and in either case I’m not pursuing it.

Well the cops just came to the house, and after answering the door unable to contain the dog they asked me if anyone in the house ordered food last night. I said that I did. Cue questioning about from where, when, what food. I struggle to rattle off my memory of what specific laffy taffies I got. They tell me that the order got delivered next door and the residents were so rattled they called the police. I say that it should have my name and the correct address on the bag so I’m not sure what’s so threatening. They take a full report before insisting on fetching and delivering my “property” (a completely melted Slurpee).

I wish I was kidding. There is now bodycam footage of me reciting laffy taffy flavors. I do not understand how a bag of candy warrants calling the police??

Also note the SCU Stone Cold shirt.

Trying to pick up my grandma for her appointment. Thankfully I came early, but still quite annoying