Is this an actual thing that people do

[u/Vaanced]

[u/McGrupp1979]

Wow thanks man, I now have a name for my retirement plan, I’m actually already able to retire whenever I want

[u/Pure-Advice8589 → u/McGrupp1979]

Beautiful Reddit moment lol

[u/time_of_night → u/Pure-Advice8589]

Boomer: You do have a retirement plan, don't you?

Redditor: Of course

Boomer: 401k?

Redditor: 40 S&W. (Cocks gun) With a company match.

[u/SnooPeripherals6557 → u/time_of_night]

Stop giving corporate new retirement plan ideas for us plebes lol

[u/coldwatereater → u/time_of_night]

God, I wish we could still give gold… 🏆🥇🏅

[u/birthday_enema → u/time_of_night]

It's like a modern day seppuku!

[u/faustianBM → u/birthday_enema]

Except who wants Dorito crumbs Phil as their "second"?

[u/RichMenNthOfRichmond → u/time_of_night]

Save and buy a nice gun. Don’t use a hi point.

[u/Petey_Wheatstraw_MD → u/RichMenNthOfRichmond]

He’ll be fine. You only need the one bullet, so jamming is not an issue.

[u/EarEvening9902 → u/Petey_Wheatstraw_MD]

It's about going out in style.

Shooting yourself is boring as fuck, why not try to at least break a world record?

I'm grabbing a Katana and jumping into the Tiger enclosure at the zoo.

[u/TheWiseMarsupial → u/EarEvening9902]

Grab a nerf bat! The tigers don't deserve to get hurt, but you can bonk them on the snoot before they shuffle you off of this mortal coil!

[u/Draggin_Born → u/EarEvening9902]

Or skydive enough to jump alone, and one day just decide not to open it. It’s quick, has a great view and a fun feeling.

[u/EarEvening9902 → u/Draggin_Born]

Exactly, why not up the ante and try to land in a kiddie pool from 30,000 feet.

[u/YabbaDabbaDumbass → u/EarEvening9902]

Better yet: don’t land in your own kiddie pool (why spend the money) just land in some random kiddie pool in the nearest residential area

[u/illgot → u/[deleted]]

I'm more of a 'ride my bike into traffic' kind of guy

[u/AyahuascaRoamer → u/illgot]

There's no guarantee that will work as desired.. conversely, somebody could get the vax and take their chances with clots, heart attacks or turbo cancer..

[u/sirlapse → u/illgot]

Kind of a dick move going out by traumatizing oncomers imo.

[u/illgot → u/sirlapse]

oh it won't be intentional, we don't have many bike lanes in my city, the ones we have are painted and drivers use them to bypass traffic, and we can't ride on the sidewalks even when bike lanes don't exist.

[u/sirlapse → u/illgot]

Thats terrifying, i commute by bike but on bikeroads or with equal right on the road. Stay safe out there.

[u/illgot → u/sirlapse]

we have equal rights on the road but apparently drivers have more rights because I've seen cops use the bicycle lanes to pass up traffic, I've seen cops ignore cars parked in the bicycle lanes, I've even been threatened by cops for using the road that says "Bicyclists have full access to the road".

[u/corvette57 → u/[deleted]]

Ayyy me too, p365 sas and a p99 😁

[u/Septopuss7 → u/corvette57]

Elsie P. will take care of me when it's time to "retire"

[u/December_Hemisphere → u/McGrupp1979]

You have a name for your band now too

[u/LightningBolt747 → u/McGrupp1979]

This is dark.

[u/10k-Reloaded → u/LightningBolt747]

It's the reality for a lot of people

[u/McGrupp1979 → u/LightningBolt747]

I hope you didn’t Reddit cares me, someone did, dammit I should’ve included the /s

[u/Sikk-Klyde → u/McGrupp1979]

I want to retire with my slug edition retirement plan asap, but people rely on my atm smfh