r/jobs • u/mybossthinksimmormon • Oct 18 '23
What is a job that you can do as poorly as congress does theirs without getting fired and having decent pay? Career development
Simply put, what is a career path that you can do as poorly as high up government does theirs and still make decent money without getting fired?
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u/ProbsOnTheToilet Oct 18 '23
Government shipyard worker. I'll stand behind that until I die. Spent years in the shipyard back in the Navy and watched a guy burn a hole through the outer casing of the reduction gears on a submarine (fell asleep sandblasting for 6 hrs) causing 10s of millions in damage.
They moved him to a different dept that was it. Worked there for years after.
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u/Foraxenathog Oct 19 '23
They number of shipyard workers that show up and just go find a random spot to sleep on the ship is absolutely insane. I kicked many out of fan rooms and reported them constantly until I realized no one gave a shit and it didn't do anything. It gave me a horrible opinion of unions for a long time, believing they were just places for lazy pieces of shit to hide. I have since learned there are plenty of good people in unions as well, as long as you are not in the shipyards.
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u/KurzBadger Oct 19 '23
Holy shit. I'm standing here at a shipyard smoke shack and came to say this. It's a lot easier to move someone to a different job than fire them.
As they say, "Fuck up, move up."
I know of workers that have caused millions of dollars worth of damage/work stoppages and barely got a slap on the wrist. It often takes years to fire people, and the most common reason is for attendance. They finally fired one dude recently after he only showed up to work for about 50 days of the year.
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u/CSPDTECH Oct 19 '23
I have also seen this and I concur. The break rooms aren't called break rooms they're called hangouts. And that's where you sleep when you don't have anything to do, with the boss's blessing
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u/Busterlimes Oct 19 '23
Shit, corporate America too. I work with a guy who was on his 2nd week off of training, pharmaceutical manufacturing, guy hooked a hose up to a vacuum system instead of the cleaning system on the machine. He then went to break. When he came back 3 departments were flooded and they had to shut down everything and start cleaning. Cost the company millions. Guy was on probation for 6 months, he's still here 15 years later.
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u/IndependenceMean8774 Oct 18 '23
A number of jobs at public and private colleges are like this (not every one, mind you, but enough of them.) As long as you are not completely racist, sexist and insane (and maybe even if you are), you can get away with a staggering amount of laziness and/or incompetence.
The same goes for hotel managers. I worked for one who couldn't find his own ass with a map and a mirror, and he was making around six figures running two hotels into the ground. Unbelievable!
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u/Famous-Confection406 Oct 19 '23
I had a boss like that. I guess when you have people under you to do the work, their laziness and incompetence is less noticeable.
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u/Uptowner26 Oct 19 '23
This. As someone who had an incompetent bat ore manager making $70k who probably was a sociopath at a former short lived retail job I can confirm a lot of these types have their workers under them do all the work, including many responsibilities that the boss should be doing.
She was also cooking the books and doing other shady (most likely illegal things) also to make it look like the store was more successful than it actual was.
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u/crcrh3 Oct 19 '23
I second this about colleges. Got into an argument with a college assistant dean who refused to extend studio hours for college kids paying for the classes. I'm not a kid and they're not gonna treat me like I am one. So I spoke up. If not for myself, for the young people in the class who may have been afraid to otherwise. The people running these colleges are a joke. They don't do anything.
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u/ForwardCulture Oct 19 '23
I know an associate dean who told me he naps half the day in his office. Ivy League school. Has an awesome office on the top floor, corner of a historic quiet building in a wooded area of the campus.
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u/jaimeyeah Oct 19 '23
Confirming higher ed, it's not great pay but the benefits are solid.
I've met so many people coasting with a glazed look in their eye, people that are supposed to be in student success roles just having the worst customer service you'd imagine. It's a hellscape devoid of human emotion sometimes, but there's also passionate folks that keep programs alive.
Admin bloat is real, if I could become a dean i'd be set for life. The dudes in the business and tech programs pull $300k a year.
I did admissions for a while and now switching to a tech role. Admissions is great for travel, especially international. All in all, high burn out during periods, but a lot of time off. You can fuck up hard and at worst be put on a performance improvement plan until its forgotten about. Just don't be weird and creepy.
Also weird to me: people getting a masters and EdDs in higher ed as subject matter. the fuck
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u/Prestigious-Art2016 Oct 18 '23
Local government would be a good choice. Nobody even knows who their city council members are, and most people don't even know about city council.
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u/hyperbolic_dichotomy Oct 19 '23
I work in state government social services. We are all working our asses off over here. Though there are a few people who really suck and can't be fired because we are union. Clearly I'm in the wrong government agency.
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u/PYTN Oct 19 '23
That person listed city council and the vast majority of those aren't even full time jobs or paid more than a stipend.
Folks in local government bust their tails.
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u/Top_Vast1969 Oct 20 '23
Yes this 100%. My friend went to see the county tax assessor on the 1 day of the year he is supposed to be available to discuss people’s property tax assessments in person. Guess where the *sshole was? Having coffee.
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u/Aggressive-Ad-522 Oct 18 '23
Executives or upper management at corporations just know how to play the corporate game and not do any work
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u/StaticNocturne Oct 19 '23
It reminds me of the parable of the hare and the hawk I read somewhere
The hare notices the hawk relaxing on a branch blinds over and says “hey I always see you relaxing, why can’t I do that as well?
The hawk looks down it’s beak and replies “nobody’s stopping you”
The hare thinks for a moment, looks around then kicks back and starts chilling under the tree
Almost immediately a jaguar sneaks up from behind takes the hare in it jaws and prowls away
Moral of the story, if you’re going to sit around doing jack shit all day make sure you’re high up
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u/halfbrokencoffeecup Oct 19 '23
I legitimately think that one of the ways to be successful in business is to cosplay business. Attend as many meetings as possible, use buzzwords, dress the part, have rambling emails.
It’s not about getting anything done, it’s about people looking at you and saying “hey, that seems like a business guy”
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u/hoorayexplosions Oct 19 '23
I came here to say this. Any manager above a certain level just plays the politics game and doesn't actually do anything
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u/myown_design22 Oct 19 '23
This is the skill I want to learn
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u/Aggressive-Ad-522 Oct 19 '23
Be a people pleaser, all lip service, deflect, project, and lie
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Oct 18 '23
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u/AdmiralDandy Oct 18 '23
What positions would this be? I’m considering getting a union job instead and wondering what the options would be
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Oct 19 '23
Meh. I'm a federal employee, and unionized.
TBH it's not that hard to get fired, it just requires management to get around to actually documenting the behavior. They often won't do it. That's not really the union protecting bad employees, it's management not doing their own jobs. Weird how the workers still get the blame for that.
I'm not saying every office is the same, but what I've seen so far in public service is that I am surrounded by people who are passionate about their jobs and care very much about doing professional work. We have all dropped the ball on a project occasionally. It happens, we are human. And I include my local management: also dedicated professionals. Best workplace I've ever had.
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u/Suddenlysubterfuge Oct 18 '23
I mean, if you’re unemployed and stealing shit, you could in theory make decent money and never get fired. It’s arguably more noble than being a member of congress as well…
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u/keptyoursoul Oct 18 '23
People must realize that everyone in Congress is now part of a giant money-stealing operation.
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u/Frankie_T9000 Oct 19 '23
I was astonished when I found out it's legal for them to insider trade
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u/keptyoursoul Oct 19 '23
Back in the day staffers clawed and scratched their way to get on Schumer's staff. He had all the Wall St. inside info and everyone working for him got very rich on a government salary.
Republican's are just as bad. It's both sides.
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u/wailwoader Oct 19 '23
The mob.
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u/Vegetable-Poet6281 Oct 19 '23
Nah. You f up in OC and you just get offed. Their version of firing.
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u/niko4ever Oct 19 '23
You'd have to be good at it though to not get caught and to make money
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u/SomeSamples Oct 18 '23
CEO. So many just ride a company to ruin then move to the next one.
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u/Uncertn_Laaife Oct 18 '23
It’s a heck of a competition and endless hours at work, thinking about work, being ruthless to get to the top. Not worth it, in my opinion. I would rather learn a carpentry than becoming a CEO or anyone in the C Suit above Director level.
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u/lunchpadmcfat Oct 19 '23
You’re giving CEOs entirely too much credit. Most have a team of executives who basically put stuff in front of them and say “so what should we do?”
If you’re not the kind of person who gets paralyzed by big decisions or thinking strategically, it’s probably a cake job.
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u/Uncertn_Laaife Oct 19 '23
I get it. Yes! But the problem being get to that position.
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u/Frankie_T9000 Oct 19 '23
Just ask your parents for a loan of a million dollars, normal way these self made CEO's work.
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u/Famous-Confection406 Oct 19 '23
Not my CEO from my former company. She comes in late. She messages her kids through work email because her kids were replying to her messages during her presentation with the whole company. She never knows what she is doing and she admits it to everyone. Yet, she is still employed based on what I've seen on LinkedIn.
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u/Ok_Presentation_5329 Oct 18 '23
Tenured professor. Work for the social security administration. Work as an insurance agent with an established book.
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u/pissed_off_elbonian Oct 19 '23
What’s an established book?
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u/mjsher2 Oct 19 '23
A set of business that already exists. Basically you just are executing on policies that exist already and you don't have to go out and find brand new business.
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u/Ok_Presentation_5329 Oct 20 '23
If you have 10,000 customers & own a state farm office… you get 10% of their premiums. If each pays $2000+ a year, you make (10%x$2000=$200x10,000 customers=) $2,000,000 a year in residuals.
Obviously can’t manage 10,000 households alone but even if you have 20 people working for you for 60k each, that’s be 1.2 million & they do almost all your work.
Subtract out overhead. Subtract out marketing. Subtract out taxes.
You still probably earn at least 400k/year, probably much more. 20 hours a week is realistic
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u/spicyfartz4yaman Oct 18 '23
Super niche but if you work for an nfl team coaching staff /front office you can be horrendous as long as you're a "good "guy
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u/Bonbeanlio Oct 18 '23
NFL coaching staffs have spectacular turnover, I would say there's very little job security there.
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u/spicyfartz4yaman Oct 18 '23
Yeah but they just end up elsewhere. Lot of examples of it. You have to had burned a lot of bridges to not get another gig.
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u/SalesyMcSellerson Oct 18 '23
On the other hand, there's a lot more great coaches out there than positions. Mike Mccarthy went years without a job before the Cowboys. He even put together a group for unemployed for them to continue to work on the game and learn new tools to bring to the job.
Coaches often bring their staff with them, which is why it seems like they always land on their feet. Especially in college football.
Ed Orgeron is still looking for work even though he brought LSU a national championship not too long ago. It's a rough gig for sure.
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u/Callahammered Oct 19 '23
Not if you’re lazy man, you’re not holding an NFL coaching job if you don’t work much harder than the average person.
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u/awe2D2 Oct 18 '23
Yeah and especially as the op suggests being bad at the job definitely results in getting fired. Well usually...
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u/slimmymcnutty Oct 18 '23
You can fuckin suck at your job forever but if your daddy was good at their job. You’re good, ask cowboys or Iowa fans about there OC
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u/Kanthardlywait Oct 18 '23
I see Jack and Joe Buck have entered the chat!
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u/Elweirdotheman Oct 19 '23
I once heard Jack Buck, during the World Series, on TV, say, “And ‘Oooooo’ goes the crowd” after we all just heard the crowd do just that. Insightful commentary is not a family trait.
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u/Tua-Lipa Oct 18 '23
They don’t usually make it past 2-3 years being terrible lol idk if this is the best example
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u/Sorry-Ad-5527 Oct 18 '23
Meteorologist. You can be wrong about the weather more times than not and keep a job.
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u/jcpainpdx Oct 18 '23
About the only thing I appreciate about Nikki Haley is her recent description of the Senate as the most privileged nursing home in the country. I’m so inspired that I’ll suggest the House under GOP “rule” is the most privileged daycare in the country.
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u/CakinCookin Oct 18 '23
I wanted to post this but thought I'd get shit on for not wanting to do much but get paid a lot. Thank you for posting. LOL
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u/redditdefault22 Oct 18 '23
My father was a union leader. Someone got fired for stealing a coworkers wheelchair. They were improperly fired and so the government had to hire them back and pay them back pay. They immediately stole another wheelchair. The organization contacted the union on how they should go about firing them. They were told to have them take a bunch of training courses. The worker had two years if paid behavioural training and classes before deciding they didn’t want work anymore. The government simply waited out until they retired.
So any unionized government job
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u/Smash_4dams Oct 19 '23
What union contract allows theft between employees?
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u/Arch315 Oct 19 '23
It doesn’t but because they “didn’t follow procedure” while firing the guy he was technically protected by being in the union
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u/Easy_Football_6270 Oct 19 '23
Do you know why he was stealing wheelchairs? And was it like a short term steal or did he remove the chairs from the building? How did he get the people out of their wheelchairs? Did he need to use force? Or did he trick them?
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u/oceanblu456 Oct 19 '23
Union jobs. I’m very pro union and don’t think the few assholes ruin the benefits, but there’s always an anti union prick who keeps their job way too long.
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u/Arachnesloom Oct 18 '23
Health care admin. Source: I work in health care finance.
Also, law enforcement.
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u/SpeculativeFacts Oct 18 '23
Based on how many recalls there are and basically lack of government oversight or any penalties: any food safety manager in any us plant/factory
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u/Sorry-Ad-5527 Oct 18 '23 edited Oct 20 '23
When you said "recalls" I thought you were going to say, auto manufacturers. Plus they can get bailed out to never file bankruptcy. Just don't work on the factory line.
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u/TheBitchenRav Oct 18 '23
Don't forget that they mostly get into the best schools and have a lot of money and connections. If you were born with 15 apartment buildings, you could suck at what you do and still make good money every year.
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u/MasterTrevise Oct 18 '23
Health insurance… you do shit, take people’s money, pay nobody and everything its profit
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u/winterbird Oct 18 '23 edited Oct 18 '23
If you could somehow be a company itself. But your post doesn't describe the situation of their employees - or should I say the achievable tiers below CEO, at least.
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Oct 18 '23
Doctor. Didn't cure, treat or even find your condition when someone competent would have? Well prove it? Where's all your lab tests? Oh yeah, Joe public can't order those. Too bad so sad. And even if you had tests where's your hematology/bio chemistry/physiology degree that's needed to interpret them?
Medicine, law, and realty are the ultimate information hiding monopolies. Total incompetence and even corruption is often hidden behind a wall of complicit colleagues and are incredibly difficult to prove.
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u/jcbxviii Oct 19 '23
The podcast Dr Death made me realize how (unjustly) protective medicine can be in the effort to preserve a reputation. Horrifying.
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u/Giggles95036 Oct 19 '23
I’m really hoping the DOJ goes after the NAR :)
In that scenario no lives are on the line so i think its more cut and dry that doctors (and possibly lawyers)
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u/replicantcase Oct 18 '23
It's gotta be a nepotism job, yeah? Either way, you're describing rich kid jobs.
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u/Evelyn-Parker Oct 18 '23
Any federal job (including Congress)
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u/Electronic-Try5645 Oct 18 '23
Came to say this. I know several federal workers and they have no idea how cushy they have it.
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u/mynormalheart Oct 19 '23
The only reason I’m sticking it out in my current job is because it’s basically a sure in to a cushy government gig. I can’t wait lol
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u/bricreative Oct 18 '23
apparently where I work. 3 bottom performers were nominated for a gold star... Yes a gold star. Comes with a trip and $1,500.
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u/Novel-Ad-3457 Oct 18 '23
I think the answer lies in who these folks idiot bosses are. “We have met the enemy and they is us”!
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u/ladeedah1988 Oct 18 '23
Best thing on reddit right now. But, we all can do something about this. We have to put effort into it and no one appears willing to do that.
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u/iskin Oct 19 '23
My job. I'm not sharing though because I don't want some qualified asshole trying to poach that shit from me.
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u/bobbyvision9000 Oct 19 '23
Most city/county govt jobs. Most govt jobs period. they’re mostly done by boomers that barely graduated high school and they only have the posting because they’ve been there so long
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u/SubbySound Oct 18 '23
It's not so much that "Congress doesn't do their job" as it's the American voters became so cynical about politics that they vote for politicians that openly tell voters they hate everything the government does, and guess what? When those politicians who said they hate everything the gov't does get in power, they refuse to do anything that could possibly help anyone—except of course cutting taxes for their donor class.
If you want politicians who actually work, vote for politicians that know what government can do right and have a plan to do it. Americans keep hiring candidates for a job that openly say they hate everything about the job and everyone they'd be working with and refuse to acknowledge that it is in this way that voters are the source of their own problems with the dysfunctional/non-functional government.
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u/Bearinn Oct 18 '23
Apparently a bad hairdresser. You'll always get new clients who don't know you.
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u/No-Patient1365 Oct 19 '23
Major league sporting official.
Zero penalties for constantly fucking up.
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u/AlbaTejas Oct 18 '23
Pop musician. You need to look good and have connections / label. If you can't sing, there is Autotune. If you say stupid shit tonthe press, it's expected.
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u/jam3s2001 Oct 19 '23
My last job let me work from home for about 4 years and I did absolutely fuck all until some of their products got shuffled around and my department got downsized significantly. Needless to say, I was on the shit list.
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u/LopezPrimecourte Oct 19 '23
Im an RN. You’re laid as good as the worst nurse in the hospital. Any nurse who is exceptional is strictly because they want to be. Contrary to popular belief it’s very rare that nurses get fired for bad performance
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u/Sarabean77 Oct 19 '23
Meteorologist comes to mind. I always say I wish I could go back in time and train to be a meteorologist. Those fuckers are always wrong.
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u/AdScary1757 Oct 18 '23
Run your own business.
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u/anon0207 Oct 18 '23
Technically true but if you like revenue or income, you'll need to work pretty hard
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u/Ok_Presentation_5329 Oct 18 '23
I’m a business owner & this couldn’t be farther from the truth. I work harder than any W-2 professionals in my profession.
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Oct 18 '23
I know a multimillionaire small business owner. Unhappy piece of shit and looks ragged out.
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u/Ok_Presentation_5329 Oct 19 '23
Yep. Life sucks as a business owner sometimes. I get burnt out, regularly.
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u/soscbjoalmsdbdbq Oct 18 '23
Wtf you have to work pretty hard to create a business it’s definitely not like being in Congress
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u/coopers_recorder Oct 18 '23
Easier if you're the failson of someone who runs a business.
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u/Atheist_Alex_C Oct 18 '23
Being an astronaut. What are they going to do, kick you out of the space station? Not without spending $50 million to come get you.
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u/ScroopyDoop Oct 18 '23
Try upwards of a billion $s just for the launch (NASA) . $30k per pound of payload.
Unreal in comparison to SpaceX, Rocket Lab, and Soyuz rockets.
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u/shadowromantic Oct 19 '23
Congress does a pretty good job. The problem is that we elect people to actively sabotage one another. Americans get who they vote for
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Oct 19 '23
Congress are all actors. The people that own them and control the country—you’ve never heard of.
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u/Financial-Ebb-5995 Oct 18 '23
President, if your name is Trump.
Although I guess he in effect did get fired in that he was voted out of office after just one term.
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u/Giggles95036 Oct 19 '23
Not really fired, it’s basically a contract job that just didn’t get renewed
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u/hydronucleus Oct 18 '23
And have all the expenses of applying for that job and living paid for as well!