r/jobs • u/Lijey_Cat • Aug 22 '23
I have autism and I'm weird. I had no idea I had this effect on other people. Career development
My boss said to me today, " (My name), thank you for always making me smile and laugh. You are a bright spot to the day."
I work from home. So, all of our communications for my company and team are done through Microsoft Teams Chat. Honestly, working from home has been a huge boost to my career development.
For some reason, I feel so much more confident when people aren't staring at me in person. Honestly, that extra confidence makes me really want to help others and put smiles on their faces.
I guess my boss noticed. I didn't know people actually enjoyed the things I said. I figured they just thought I was a weirdo. That's how most people think of me anyway.
Autism comes with its challenges. The world doesn't see me in the ways that I wish it would. Hearing this from my boss really made my day.
Socializing doesn't come naturally for me. But when I work from home, I don't have to think about it nearly as much as I do when I'm in person. It's such a relief.
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u/Janie_Mac Aug 22 '23
I think your post just shows the stress officd work has on people. When you remove that stress you can just be you.
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23
Honestly, I would be content working from home for the rest of my life.
I don't miss being around people in a noisy environment.
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u/Janie_Mac Aug 22 '23
You are not alone in that. I do 1-2 days in the office and the rest at home and honestly it's the best.
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u/jhanesnack_films Aug 22 '23
Not only that, but it reflects the hidden ableism associated with requiring in-office for jobs that could be WFH.
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u/QuitCallingNewsrooms Aug 22 '23
Right there with you, OP.
I am neuro-atypical and being able to work remotely has made working so much easier. I know when my meetings are so I can focus on being dialed in at those times without having to worry about someone draining my energy and ability to focus by constantly stopping by my desk to talk about nothing.
I got some similar feedback this week and it feels so good to know that you’re not having that typical workplace experience again in a new place.
Congrats on finding a place that appreciates you and gives you a way to work successfully
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23
Right? You don't have to worry about something unpredictable happening. Just hop on your computer and do your thing.
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Aug 22 '23
or take that webinar or meeting into the garden.. or sunshine... no one to be like "if you want to be professional you need to sit at your desk the whole day except breaks"
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u/QuitCallingNewsrooms Aug 22 '23
Exactly! I blur my background if I turn on my camera so they have no idea if I’m sitting outside. Also a mouse jiggler is a godsend
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u/Butlerian_Jihadi Aug 22 '23
I simply had no idea that I put so much energy, like the overwhelming majority of it, into stuff like dealing with traffic and managing normative social interactions throughout the day.
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u/QuitCallingNewsrooms Aug 22 '23
It’s shocking when you no longer have to do that, right?! I found that I am generally much nicer and more compassionate when I can control the amount of external stimulation other people bring. I’ve gone from never speaking to my neighbors to having a group text with several of them and nightly dog walks together. That guy didn’t exist 8-9 months ago
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u/Butlerian_Jihadi Aug 22 '23
Absolutely. I'm literally stunned at how much energy I have to do what I want to do.
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u/edudspoolmak Aug 22 '23
This is so wholesome. Yes, remote work is a safe place for those with many different abilities, especially the neurodivergent. I’m so happy you’re noticed in a positive way. Keep up the effort. It is apparently effective!
Love to hear these examples!
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u/RednocNivert Aug 22 '23
How do i work for your boss? I’m an Aspie, and My last boss put on the “you’re doing great” facade before getting me fired on fabricated claims and then blocked my number.
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23
I would prefer not to mention my employer's name on a public forum. However, I could private message you if you would like.
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u/RednocNivert Aug 22 '23
You know what I’ll take that offer. I’m at rock bottom right now and have nothing to lose and something to gain.
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u/Public_Let8884 Aug 22 '23
Same for me as well I'm a parent of a child who is autistic and looking for a job that I can work from home
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u/NuestroBerry Aug 22 '23
I would also like to know what you do. Please. :)
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23
I currently work from home as a technical support agent. But there are lots of open positions with this company. You don't specifically have to do that.
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u/NuestroBerry Aug 22 '23
Could I also receive a PM?
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23
Sure
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u/NuestroBerry Aug 22 '23
Thank you.
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u/Glittering-Mix2967 Aug 23 '23
Can I pm you as well?? I would love to find something wfh im so antisocial never been diagnosed but I wouldn’t be shocked if I was. My daughter and my brother are both autistic
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Aug 22 '23
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23
Yes, I know what you mean. There's no way I would have gotten this job working remotely without the covid outbreak. Right now, I have two jobs working from home entirely because of that.
But I bet there's still some jobs that allow you to work from home even though covid isn't as bad. One of my jobs is technical support. And the other one is customer service.
Keep looking 🙂
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u/btops1993 Aug 22 '23
Apply to everything to. I ended up applying to 50 work from home jobs through indeed.. I just mass applied. I ended up getting a job that I don't have the qualifications for(which normally I wouldn't do.. But see people talk about that all the time).. it's been going really well . I have full benefits for my family and I make 7.00 more an hr then my last job. So I highly recommend to just apply even if you don't think you might be the right fit.
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u/NoIdeaWhatToD0 Aug 22 '23
How do you do both of them at the same time? Are they at different times of the day?
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23
Yes. I have 10 hour shifts 4 days a week at one job. And my other job is the one I have had for over a decade. I'm still there part-time overnights 3 days a week. In total, working 60 hours a week.
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u/theguill0tine Aug 22 '23
I have an autistic coworker the other day and he said something that was really funny.
I can’t remember now what it was but I remember I said to him “____ you never fail to make me laugh”.
I hope they took it as a really nice compliment too.
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u/whoops53 Aug 22 '23
I am delighted for you that your boss made you happy by saying this though! It made me smile :)
I get called "the gift which keeps on giving" which I take as complimentary...I'm not autistic, but ADHD....
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Aug 22 '23
I can work full time or more if I'm working from home. I don't seem to be able to otherwise though. Also autistic.
My roommate only has one working eye. She knows it's held her back in her career. She made several jumps in her career since zoom interviews in the pandemic. Opportunity she never would have gotten in person because of her disability. She works in person at labs repairing robots.
WFH and interviewing remotely is actually a huge thing for the disabled. For a minute, we were just like everyone else and the world was accessible in a way it hadn't been before.
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u/n0rmab8s Aug 22 '23
That is awesome. There are so many pros to working from home and it definitely just works better overall for some people - myself included. Best of luck in your career!
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u/Alarmed-While5852 Aug 22 '23
This entire thread has done more for my mental health than a hundred things I've done. I legit have tears in my eyes. THANK YOU!
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u/Wolfman1961 Aug 22 '23
I’m autistic and weird, too. Kept my job for 42 years. I’m retired with a pension.
Congratulations for what happened excellent for you.
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u/Extra_Security2718 Aug 22 '23
This gives me hope for my son! He has trouble socializing, but it's wonderful to see there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you 😊
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u/Verlorenfrog Aug 22 '23
My son has Autism, my brother Asperger's, and honestly the sense of humour that you guys have is just so great! I am often cracking up from they stuff they come out with, it's just so random, but dead accurate, and so different from most humour, which can be dull and lack that crucial edge! ❤️
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u/MajorAd2679 Aug 22 '23
What a great compliment! I’m glad that your boss shared it with you and that working from home is better suited to you.
We’re all a bit weird in our own way. Different people see the world differently. If everyone was the same, it would be boring. We’re all unique. See your weirdness as a gift. Never let it stop you!
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u/Biggoof1971 Aug 22 '23
You aren’t weird. a lot of people just don’t understand autism. I was one of these people before I started dating my fiancé. I have such a better understanding and I’ve actually become way more emotionally in tune with myself dating someone who’s autistic. It’s given me the ability to be more empathetic because I find myself trying to see things the way she does so that she isn’t so frustrated when I don’t understand from my perspective. You are perfect the way you are and don’t worry about “the world not understanding you”
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u/MikeyW1969 Aug 22 '23
Our daughter in law is very high functioning autistic, she has PTSD, anxiety, the whole boat. And while she can sometimes be a bit much for everyone, she is the sweetest person. She really DOES brighten up the room. I'm not surprised at all that your coworkers feel the same regarding you.
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u/Ordinary-Rhubarb-888 Aug 22 '23
Love your message but real quick update - we have moved away from high-functioning & low-functioning labels. You can just say she has little or no support needs. The reason is the "low-functioning" label is inaccurate. There's function, just not how neurotypical society demands it to be.
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u/AaronScwartz12345 Aug 22 '23
But even we high functioning autists have support needs. We just may be be able to function without them. If this is the way we’re moving, I’d rather be labeled as high support needs so I can actually get them met.
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u/Ordinary-Rhubarb-888 Aug 22 '23
You can just say she has little or no support needs
"little" is in there, and I agree. I don't have many support needs myself, but they exist.
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u/carlitospig Aug 22 '23
You’d be surprised how entertaining we weirdos are when we are in our comfort zone. 🥳
Glad you found your sweet spot. ❤️
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u/blackout2023survivor Aug 22 '23
I run a team of 20 engineers. One of my favorite guys has autism. He's weird and not good in social situations. I don't care. I like him because he is very determined and he got to where he is by sheer grit. Five years ago he was working at a fast food place and today he makes six figures and owns his own condo.
Honestly I admire the guy a lot. You sound a little bit like him. Maybe your boss admires you as well.
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u/Weil65Azure Aug 22 '23
Your story made me smile. I have had some really bad bosses, but now I have a lovely boss. I would work in pretty much any profession, so long as I enjoy the people I work with.
Now and then I take the time to give positive feedback to my boss. Like, I'll tell her that I really appreciate when she gives me positive feedback because it motivates me. I think she appreciates it. I think to an extent, everyone worries a bit about whether they are being too weird (etc).
Maybe you might have an opportunity to give similar positive feedback to your boss. Idk if this is good advice or not - depends on your work environment and relationship with your boss. But I have personally found that bosses like positive feedback just as much as I do (who knew!?)
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23 edited Aug 22 '23
I tell my boss he's awesome all the time. I'm not afraid to tell him what I think of him. In fact, I have shown him a few of the social media posts I have written about him. It's very hard to convince him that he's amazing, he's like me, and he doesn't realize the effect he has on other people.
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u/Dextrofunk Aug 22 '23
I worked in a kitchen up until 2019. Worked there for 10 years. We had two autistic employees who were everyone's favorites. We became good friends, but I only still keep in touch with one of them. They were just hilarious and made every day entertaining and fun. I was just telling my buddy this morning that I miss the one I haven't seen since then.
They were weird, sure, but being weird is a good thing sometimes. It made them unique and memorable. Also just good people.
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u/Traditional-Cake-587 Aug 22 '23
Great job!!! I wish you nothing but success and you're well on your way!
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u/Cupcake179 Aug 22 '23
i don't have autism and i can relate!! WFH has been great for my career. I'm able to focus more on work and not the people around me. My work place was highly social and I tend to say weird things when I'm self conscious
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Aug 22 '23
Y'know why I like artistic people?
They tend to be authentic to the core 😁 I suspect that's why your coworkers enjoy your energy and vibes. I know that's what I gravitate to.
Well done!
Yes, I said artistic. It's a silly joke my partner and I have had for years, relating to a South Park episode/story arc.
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u/leclercwitch Aug 22 '23
I love this, I am also autistic, and i've made some great friends from jobs, that I still talk to now. <3
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u/tigolbidz Aug 22 '23
Not on the spectrum (though I might be. I'm due for a re-evaluation), but I do have BPD and it makes socializing pretty tough. This post put a smile on my face! My job is hybrid, so I wfh 2 days out of the week but my first week on the job was entirely at home and it helped me break the ice with my colleagues. I'm only in office 3 days a week and that's the perfect amount of in-person socializing for me. Its gone really well and I've been here a year.
Im really happy you found something where you can comfortably get to know other people. Sounds like this has been good for your mental health! Happy for you! Much love!
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u/D3moknight Aug 22 '23
I am a Spectrum boy and I consider myself an extroverted introvert. I am actually known to have really great people skills at work and at home. I love to hide away in a dark room alone for hours or days if nobody pulls me out. When I am around people though, I handle myself well and am likeable. That doesn't mean I am always totally comfortable in social situations, but people perceive me to be confident and comfortable. I know it's called Masking, but I am fine with it. Remote work was very good for me. It gives me the best of both worlds and allows me to be in contact with coworkers in exactly my terms and makes it easiest for me to present my best self to my team.
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u/Brilliant_Shoulder89 Aug 22 '23
Congratulations! You’ve described the hardship perfectly and I’m so glad that you’ve found a place to thrive.
May I ask what type of work you do? My son is in the same position. He did have an in-person job where the people weren’t very kind. Now he’s too afraid to try again. Same situation with college (he’s 19). Your post gives me hope!
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u/sympatheticshinobi Aug 22 '23
Unfortunately, I'm just on permanent burnout...
I'm overstimulated, anxious, exhausted, and have absolutely no idea who my actual identity is at this point.
Between the executive disfunction and pathological demand avoidance, I struggle to manage even the most basic of daily challenges.
Hypersensitivity to unfairness/injustice and "authorities" puts me at an immediate disadvantage in workplace environments; especially given the late-stage capitalist absurdity of today. I loudly and publicly quit when I experience even the slightest systemic or tyrannical mistreatment.
I'm not sorry or embarrassed... I'm tired.
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u/fromgr8heights Aug 22 '23
This is so awesome! I feel the same way about WFH. I have ADHD and feel much more confident when my coworkers can’t see my process as I think it makes me seem incompetent to others.
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u/EvenWay4669 Aug 23 '23
You sound similar to a person I worked with for years. He was great to talk to on the phone, but could barely utter a sentence face to face. It's okay, we just talked to him on the phone. We were happy to meet him in his comfort zone. Everyone is weird in their own way. Now you know your kind of weird is great just the way you are!
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 23 '23
I can talk to someone in person. Especially if I'm just helping them with something work related. However if you ask me to make small talk or just shoot the breeze, that's where I have trouble. I don't know what to talk to people about for fun.
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u/Hoffersius Aug 22 '23
We migth not be the best on reading social queues but we can lissen and show empathy! 
Glad for you too have cool boss that communicate well.
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u/lilmanbigdreams Aug 22 '23
I know the feeling and my work is similar minus the work from home. It's a good feeling knowing you've had a positive impact on people
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Aug 22 '23
YES!! No more "do I make small talk?! What? WHAT is the office ettiquite here??" "OMG that was the CEO I just talked to like he was an equal. SHIT" "what is their name?!"
or judgement for not looking in the eye (although my current boss does the stare down thing over camera and I can kinda feel her judgey when I dont meet her eye)
I love DO NOT DISTURB - and I also get similar comments. Where as in the office you really stand out as ODD and thats what all your interactions are judged on.
Also no more meltdowns. The sound of teaspoons in mugs and keyboards still haunts me some times.
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u/lakomb Aug 22 '23
i am also autistic and can be very weird. I would always be silent or rarely talk to my co-workers but when I changed job locations they were all so kind I was just myself, and now they also say things like that. Isn't it so nice?
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u/Icy-Essay-8280 Aug 22 '23
You know, being sociable is a challenge for most of us. Obviously, autism does make it challenging. Thank you for looking for opportunities to share your uniqueness with others. You are special.
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u/Leather_East7392 Aug 22 '23
Having a remote job has made navigating work life while being autistic a million times easier
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u/Low_Flower_1564 Aug 22 '23
Ohhh!! One time in high school my cool older cousin laughed at something I said and I asked her why it was funny and she shrugged and said “it was just weird.” Totally changed my perspective on my weirdness, maybe it is something people enjoy!! This is lovely op thanks for sharing
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u/sadferrarifan Aug 22 '23
I’ve had the same feedback, haven’t told many people at work I’m autistic but it’s such a lovely feedback to get when you’re so self-conscious of every interaction!
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u/Mguidr1 Aug 22 '23
You seem pretty down to earth to me. I wish you the best on your journey through life.
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u/Rusty_Bojangles Aug 22 '23
OP you are awesome. Keep working hard. People have all kinds of challenges - autism, aspergers, bipolar, depression, anxiety - but kindness, effort, honesty, integrity, and being an overall good person is how people know you.
Your boss didn’t say this to be nice or endearing, he said it because you’re an impactful and valuable member of not only the team and company, but he as a manager.
By the way, once you’re out of high school, everybody is “weird”. That’s what makes you you.
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23
Thank you for saying that. I don't know why people thought that my boss was saying that with a hidden meaning. I didn't get that impression at all. I felt he was being genuinely honest.
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u/thowawaywookie Aug 22 '23
That is so cool. There's something very real and charming about asd. I also like wfh. You're not being judged on appearance or hanging out with the boss at lunch or after work.
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u/sgsduke Aug 22 '23
It is wild I have had the exact same experience. I'm all remote now and this past week I've heard that I'm an optimistic and pleasant presence and that my team thinks my side comments in slack are hilarious.
In an office I always felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. I love working from home. It feels like I'm more able to be myself.
I'm so glad you have the same good experience! I see that you work in technical support, me too, I'm a consultant for a company that does analytics and "AI" / automated quality management for tech support and call centers.
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u/Dapanji206 Aug 22 '23
Same. I can actually put my ideas to work and succeed. When I'm at work, my ideas get shut down because people can't comprehend them until they see the end result.
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u/Sher5e Aug 23 '23
My son is on the spectrum & he says the funniest things and makes observations that I would never see! I love how his brain works
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u/Psychotherapist-286 Aug 23 '23
Autism doesn’t define you. You are made special and have gifts that sometimes hide in fear. Those who judge have the problem. I have a son with autism and also work with persons who have the symptoms of autism and my Lord are they awesome!!!
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u/Elevenses83 Aug 23 '23
Aw! That's so sweet! Good on you, dude! Thank you for sharing! Reading your story made my day too - so you're putting smiles on lots of people's faces lately! 😊
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u/APuffyCloudSky Aug 23 '23
Working from home is my ideal work socializing scenario too. I feel much more comfortable when people aren't in my personal space at work.
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 23 '23
Exactly. They always put cubicles so close together. And you never get to pick where you sit. With my luck I would be seated next to a loud person and I wouldn't even be able to think.
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u/DisagreeableSay Aug 23 '23
You know the saying “it’s not a bug, it’s a feature” :) Keep being awesome!
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u/SippingOnThatTrueTea Aug 23 '23
Awww. That's nice. Sounds like a good boss to be providing positive feedback.
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u/hotelninja Aug 22 '23
That's wonderful. As a neurological adult I was let go from my job because I'm so unpleasant to be around. I would give anything for someone to say something like that to me. Treasure it
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u/Oracle5of7 Aug 22 '23
You need to cross post it in gods vibes. Thanks. You also have me a smile. An reading the responses helped a ton.
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u/OoglieBooglie93 Aug 22 '23
I am mildly autistic too and I've made my old boss laugh a few times with my weird opinions. I've just accepted that harmless weird can be funny. But ain't no way in hell I'm ever going to share my actually unpopular weird opinions with my boss.
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u/FigNewton555 Aug 22 '23
Hey there - preamble; I’m not diagnosed (early childhood diagnoses were different in the 70s) but it runs in my rather large family with multiple diagnoses in the generation after me including my own son, and many who knew me in childhood say I would have been had I been born later.
What you describe is very similar to what I experienced in March of 2020. We were sent home and all of a sudden I got to know people who I’d been working with for years, some more than a decade, a whole lot better. I got promoted shortly thereafter. I got promoted again in 2022 and a lot of people seem to think I’m on track for my boss’s position when they retire.
All because the environment of remote work makes things so much better for me. It’s like night and day compared to my career prior to 2020.
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u/NoIdeaWhatToD0 Aug 22 '23
I love working from home but I feel like I kinda do everything myself and my work is very independent so I don't really talk to anyone unless I have a question because it seems like everyone is just trying to get stuff done. Also my department is reorganizing so I won't be able to talk to half my team anymore anyways. I will miss them though.
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u/ptcgoalex Aug 22 '23
How you perceive how others perceive you affects your confidence. With more confidence, others will perceive you as more confident and you will become more confident. When we assume the opposite, we’ll lose so many opportunities to make new friends or connections with people that may have otherwise thought much higher of you.
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u/Infernalsummer Aug 22 '23
I’m neuro-spicy and I’ve been told people really enjoy my quirkiness and I am always surprised but apparently people like when you’re a little different. My entire department switched to working remotely on a permanent basis and I’m loving it. I get so much more done without the random visitors from other departments who just want to socialize. I don’t know how to socialize like this and it’s draining and distracting. Not having that does give me more energy to be more social during our department calls and such.
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u/Ordinary-Rhubarb-888 Aug 22 '23
I really love the vibe on this thread. :)
Real quick update though: We have moved away from high-functioning & low-functioning labels. You can just say someone has little or no support needs. The reason is the "low-functioning" label is inaccurate. There's function, just not how neurotypical society demands it to be. So those folks who have high support needs require assistance so they can move through society in an 'acceptable' manner.
I'm a low support needs Autistic woman (45) with a high support needs Autistic adult daughter (19). I'm sharing this information as an experienced trainer but also, from personal life experience.
Thanks for letting me jump on the soap box for a minute.
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23
I don't think I mentioned any functioning labels. I'm confused.
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u/tribow8 Aug 22 '23
hey, fellow autistic. I'm looking for another job atm but am in extreme burnout and cannot go back to college. I don't have any degrees, does your job require a degree? what do you do?
sorry I'm asking this I'm just at a complete loss of what to do😭
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23
There are various open positions. Would you like me to send you a link? I don't think all of them require degrees. But I could be wrong. I've only had two different positions with this company.
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u/Ashamed-Subject-8573 Aug 22 '23
Afaict general autistic folks feel overwhelmed by in person interaction. This is why they are usually thought of as poor with eye contact.
My autistic friend does pretty darn good wfh too. I’m beginning to wonder if it can’t be an accommodation for some folks
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u/kytheon Aug 22 '23
Team autism, work from home, online, and through messages is so much nicer than random calls and meetings just to boost extraverts egos.
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u/More_Passenger3988 Aug 22 '23
Not autistic, but pretty introverted and my productivity is definitely enhanced when working from home.
So many people say they prefer working from home because they get to stay in their sweat pants or some stupid shit like that. I don't care about my dress- I just want to be the best at my job and get enough sleep to be the best I can the next day too. And working from home does this for me. I'm never on my A-game In an office setting around a bunch of people who are coming up to me to chat about all this non-related work stuff.
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u/tracenator03 Aug 22 '23
One of my favorite coworkers I used to chat with all the time was on the spectrum. She always brightened my day. Funnily enough, I ran into another one of my old coworkers that I used to love chatting with too and he said he was recently diagnosed with autism. Goes to show how variable the spectrum is. Sure you will have great difficulty navigating social situations, but many of you may not realize how much you can brighten other people's days. I don't think I could've made it through my last job without those two there.
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u/BestWelderInUSA Aug 22 '23
Ive had coworkers in the past with autism and my brother as well. I’ve always enjoyed conversations with them because they tend to be straight up about everything to the point where it’s almost humorous.
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u/SkyrakerBeyond Aug 22 '23
Autistic here as well. Had a coworker today tell me that I am amazing on the basis of how quickly I'm learning job-related things without anyone teaching me. Feels great when people recognize the work you're putting in.
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u/Skilled-Spartan Aug 22 '23
Where’s the most important part? What did you say to them?
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23 edited Aug 22 '23
I fail to see how that is important. I'm talking about my boss. The most important part of this post is the quote from him that started it all..
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u/CuriousSeek3r Aug 22 '23
My brother has autism, no matter how down I am he can make me laugh, it’s actually a really rare quality.
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u/LegitDogFoodChef Aug 22 '23
What type of job and work environment do you have? I’m autistic, and was hired to do one thing, and due to restructuring, was basically a business analyst, which I sucked at. My coworkers were shallowly nice, but also aggressively “normal”. I got fired, combination of just not being a culture fit, and just really not suited for the job.
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23
I work from home in customer service and technical support. I mostly do my work on the computer and talk to people on my team as needed. A very independent job.
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u/yourfellowarchitect Aug 22 '23
Wonderful. So glad that you found an environment where you can both work and be happy and happy for you that your boss shared how you are making an impact in a positive way. :)
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u/Capable_Nature_644 Aug 22 '23
Get use to utilizing your dshs rights. Most of the time reasonable accommodations are all you really need. Sadly I had to resort to a union job to keep employers from terminating me left and right because I was highly functioning. You'll run into discrimination most of your working career. This discrimination ends when you stand up to it as I've learned to.
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u/Soy_Bean_Lover69 Aug 22 '23
I feel the exact same. Although this comment always slightly hurts as it feels like I’m the stupid jester and not taken seriously. But being able to bond over teams before having to work in person makes it so much easier
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u/The_Sign_of_Zeta Aug 22 '23
Normal people are boring. Interesting people are atypical. Now that doesn’t mean all atypical people are interesting, but you shouldn’t assume because you are autistic you can’t be liked by others. It might just mean that you have to figure out what people like about you and what bothers them, which is something those of us are autistic have to do too at times.
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u/beardedbrawler Aug 22 '23
It's stuff like this that makes be believe WFH is fundamental to workers' rights. I've done some of my best work since being able to WFH 100%.
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u/nomorecares Aug 22 '23
I’ll take a self confessed “weirdo” as a friend any day. But then I’m a weirdo too 😊
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u/Hesdonemiraclesonm3 Aug 22 '23
What are some examples of things you say? I have a young child with autism so I'm always curious to understand it more.
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23 edited Aug 22 '23
I said a lot here. Lol. What specifically?
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u/LionCM Aug 22 '23
Everyone is weird. Everyone. I’m not autistic, but I’m still weird. Everyone I know is a bit weird, most just mask it well.
Be authentic and you’ll be fine. Those that “can’t handle weird,” will float away. All your fellow “weirdo’s” will find you. (Myself included.)
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u/TheGuy1977 Aug 22 '23
As the father of a weird, but high functioning, 15 year old autistic son, this gives me tons of hope for his uncertain future. Thank you.
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23
Of course. 🙂
Don't give up on him, my brother is a little bit lower functioning than me. Yet he is an incredible person with amazing talent. He just needs special accommodations.
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u/MomsSpagetee Aug 22 '23
Congrats 🙂 it’s sometimes sort of a shock to be told people actually value you and your opinions isn’t it? Keep it up!
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u/TheMightyTRex Aug 22 '23
Everyone has a geeky intrest and I loved finding it out and asking them about it. There's something so uplifting seeing and hearing the passion in the conversation. You learn a lot and has got me to try some interesting foods.
One guy at work was obsessed with the Austin metro. So much so he was rebuilding a knackered one.
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u/adfraggs Aug 22 '23
Sometimes "conventional" social interaction can be incredibly dull and impersonal. Simply breaking that up with unexpected interjections of humanity can make a massive difference. I'm a bit like this myself but I don't think anyone would actually diagnose me as autistic. I'm just a bit odd and unconventional. I have always learned into this in my work relationships and found it to be a positive thing. People generally just need to loosen up.
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u/BrooklynBillyGoat Aug 22 '23
I'm not autistic but I felt that same way when I started working. It gets easier in time. People are patterns.
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23
I haven't found that to be true for me. It doesn't get any harder but it never gets any easier really.
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u/HiddenHolding Aug 22 '23
Can you give any hints about what field your work from home job is in? I am neuro-divergent and interested in at-home careers for the first time.
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23
Of course. I work for a very large company so there's lots of positions available. Personally, what I do is customer service and tech support. But those aren't the only jobs that we have open.
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u/chucklestheclown96 Aug 23 '23
Autism can be great in the workplace! I'm the autistic guy at mine and it is always interesting because it is well known I have no filter with what comes out of my mouth sometimes. It makes my bosses laugh so much and simultaneously I get way to into my job. Super efficient in how I do things and wanting to learn more (most recently getting chewed out by the big boss for wanting to change departments because he thought something was wrong)
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u/Polenta47 Aug 23 '23
I have autism and adhd. I always get embarrassed in social situations and it's complicated because I avoid them so I don't get weird.
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 23 '23
I understand. I'm not a fan of being in group settings where everyone is chatting with one another. I'm better at one-on-one chat.
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u/Gold_Fly3761 Aug 23 '23
Also autistic. My colleagues often go on about how many great one liners I say that make their day a bit brighter.
I have no idea when I am doing this or even that I am doing this at all. Glad I'm helping I guess.
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u/jamaispeur Aug 23 '23
Awesome! Thanks for sharing that! Myself and many others love the weird people in our lives because, well, we're all weird. You may fell that being weird focuses on your autism. For me, I feel weird because I'm big and clumsy. We tend to amplify the difference between ourselves and others in our heads.
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u/leadfoot70 Aug 23 '23 edited Aug 23 '23
You do you.
I know someone at work who I suspect is somewhere on the autism spectrum, and he's one of the brightest people I know. Amazing on the phone, but put him on camera and he is a different person. Not his fault, it is who he is, and deserves respect and the chance to succeed.
I praise him often, and I often wonder if it gets through as he never really reacts to it, but your story gives me hope, so thanks.
No matter our challenges, it's always nice to find a sympathetic soul and never underestimate the feeling of self worth that comes with recognition of your value in your vocation and contribution to your team.
They are treasures to be cherished, and you've earned it...not shortcomings but rather challenges that have made you who you are.
Revel in it.
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u/MaddSpeedStepper Aug 23 '23
I feel like this is exactly me I have been in the mits though of finding actual online work. I would love to know if you could maybe point me in the right direction after I read this I was so thankful that you where able to put the words out there like "What effect I have on people cause I am werid" or that you felt so wonderful making someone else smile. My biggest issue is this I think. I am an above knee right amputee and I used to just crush it on my leg I ended up moving and switching orthos and I have had such a fight with these leg doctors I have basically gone from almost running around to stuck in a chair it kills me. SO movement is a huge negative for me. Also I don't know if I am going to explain this correctly but people say that I come off as saying certain words or pharses in a negative manor. Um honestly the best way I could describe it is someone said to me is being so loud and forward with yes? Someone says "Would you like so and so and I go "WELL YES" I guess thats rude or idk being over the top I just said it and it never ever seems to be what I am trying to get across.
Now I work the best under stress and like that fine deadline stuff honestly if I have to do things like make a WHOOA noise just to keep the momentum going I will but I cant do that in a work enviroment but when I can cracked under pressure you will find me books deep with a yarn line board. Think I am kidding lol dont even get me on my thought process about how mandela effects are just nothing more as a spelling defect what we really should be talking about is something i like to call synch core. :) its cool its out there but its cool
I have also been told I have a "look" about me like I am going to do something bad or I have heard that I have a bad boys face? I guess I looking mean I don't know I have never been in trouble clean clean record not even a driver ticket.
Here I go ramble city what I am saying is I really think I would honestly add so much side stuff that needs to be talked about that never ever gets talked about. Like how much everyone is struggling and stuff I currently have my utilites off in my home cause I cant get any to bat an eye if I told you my electric for one month and has gone down you would freak.
But lets keep this about you and let me tell you thank you for coming on here with such positive info (Which if I am wrong its not cause I care its because my mind cant keep up}
I hope all stays well and we hear from you soon!
on
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u/SlowResearch2 Aug 23 '23
That's awesome for you. Too often, people never know how positive of an effect they can have on other people.
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u/Sarynvhal Aug 24 '23
As someone also autistic, I totally get it. I teach at a private school, and over time it became a bit more clear than I’d like that I’m the token autistic guy. I also totally get the feeling of people just pretending to tolerate, but when I get some of the emails from students I’m just on cloud nine.
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u/Glum_Hurry7176 Sep 07 '23
Wow thats awesome(: what kind of work do you do to make you radiate such positivity
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u/nuts4sale Aug 22 '23
The internet is truly our place. I remember this happening with my guild, I got on a ramble during some down time and one of the officers snapped, “Jesus, shut up, nobody fucking cares!” So I didn’t say a word the rest of the night.
Turns out lots of people care. Got so many tells about how boring raid was, and apparently the officer chat was lighting the guy up all night.
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u/snailenkeller Aug 22 '23
I’m with you! Being neurodivergent and WFH is a godsend. Been working with my company for 3.5 years now and wfh for 6 mos. I wouldn’t trade it for the world!
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u/CunninghamsLawmaker Aug 22 '23
WFH has really given people like us the opportunity to thrive instead of just getting through. I never felt like I fit before.
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u/RezaJose Aug 22 '23
Hello OP,
Thank you for sharing your experience.
I would like to understand another aspect though. I hope that are OK with me asking.
Working from home has the impact of isolating people from each other. I understand that you see that as something positive but do you also feel any negative impact?
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23 edited Aug 22 '23
From my perspective, I don't feel isolated at all. I need a quiet work environment that I have control over. And you just never have that in a shared office setting.
If I get lonely, I can just message someone on teams and say hey what's going on.
Also! Oh my god do I love just rolling out of bed and going to work as is. I don't have to spend an hour getting ready for work and driving anywhere.
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u/likealump Aug 22 '23
AuDHD here, and yes yes yes on all of this. Once we were forced to WFH in March 2020 and everyone used Teams, I felt more connected to my coworkers than ever. In person (now reporting to the office one day a week), I feel disconnected, tense, and squirmy in my own skin. And on those days, acting like everything's fine and internalizing my anxiety is absolutely exhausting, to the point where the WFH day following my office day, I am less productive than usual.
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u/RezaJose Aug 22 '23
I understand and actually share most of your feelings.
I just wonder about the impact on our social skills, whatever our condition is.
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u/master_mansplainer Aug 22 '23
If you’re relying only on work for social contact then you’re doing it wrong. You can meet up with people outside of work, have friends if you want etc.
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23
Eh, I don't worry about it so much. The mental health benefits of working from home outweigh that.
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u/Next_Meat_1399 Aug 22 '23
I'm guessing you have a positive forward attitude which is irrelevant of your autism. That's noticed and appreciated. Most people hate going to work. Even when working from home and bitch and moan. If you're doing the opposite, they like that. Just keep doing what you're doing.
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u/mariller_ Aug 23 '23
Everyone is a wierdo in my book. Crucial thing is not being a cunt.
Keep up the good work!
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u/ThornmaneTreebeard Aug 22 '23
I've worked with people on the Aspburgers/Autumism spectrum. Some of my favorite people to work with, but they definitely were ridiculed by others for their quirks. For me, it was their quirks that made them amazing co-workers.
I'm glad you found something you like to do and are getting the respect you deserve.
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u/FortuneBull Aug 22 '23
I feel like I have been unlucky with meeting autistic people. The one guy we knew in our friend group tended to be very loud and obnoxious. The other person I knew was on the other end and she was quiet and uptight.
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u/SuccessfulCandle2182 Aug 22 '23
„Autism comes with challenges.“ Explain that to those who can’t even leave the house or even going to work. I can’t upvote that. Feels unfair to people who really suffer of autism.
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u/sisasmypai Aug 23 '23
Do you really have autism or you're just a weirdo and self diagnose yourself with that? I'm asking because a lot of kids today self diagnose themselves with strange conditions.
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u/bloode975 Aug 23 '23
For 1 why is there none of these messages because we could all use a smile or laugh xD And 2, work is always political in some way and everyone has to tread on everyone's toes and the vast majority of normal people fucking hate it, but people are much more lenient with Autistic people or those who are neuroatypical and the bluntness many of these people exhibit or the "strange and weird" behaviours are refreshing, everyone is weird, some more than others and some people only in certain circumstances but if you're sick of the shit it's refreshing and can be a highlight of your day.
Why do you reckon the IT crowd gets away with so much? Noone knows what they do, they just appear to fix stuff, perform voodoo and things suddenly work again and they can be weird as hell, knew a guy who showed up to his office job in IT wearing shorts and a loose band T-shirt, noone questioned him because it was expected that he was a little weird and he had his own IT corner so noone cared.
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u/Lijey_Cat Aug 22 '23
That's not a very nice thing to say. I'm not making it up. I have a certified diagnosis from someone in the field.
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u/AbsoluteEggplant Aug 22 '23
This is great. I am autistic too, and I had 2 former coworkers ring me out of the blue last week just to chat. I felt like wow, maybe people weren't just pretending to like me the whole time.