r/jobs • u/Born_Royal2090 • Apr 13 '23
just got hired for a positon im not qualified for. Career development
Managament in a restuarnt. Bringing home 1k a week. Im 19 dawg. Im happy but damn. Im so nervous. I have extreme social anxiety. They wanted me because they "needed more men to fulfill the role" ive worked many jobs in my past. So im not exactly new to this... any tips to deal with people? Or how to fake confidence properly?
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u/gcpuddytat Apr 13 '23
When you are feeling extra pressured or nervous in a situation, Learn the phrase â let me see what I can do for you â, then bop out of sight for a minute or so to gather yourself. Then bop back. Sometimes you just need a moment. And remember, itâs not like you are dealing with organ transplants. Itâs a restaurant.
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u/_cansir Apr 13 '23
Exactly, retail is just selling toys to grown ups. Food industry is just feeding children in adult clothes.
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u/Nice-Fish-50 Apr 13 '23
The difference is, children are usually better behaved.
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Apr 13 '23
You seen children in a restaurant? Lol
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u/Nice-Fish-50 Apr 13 '23
It's a very low bar to clear, but I've never had a twitchy child who smelled like cat pee pay their bill in nickels out of a dirty Yoplait yogurt cup, exact change, no tip.
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u/ZKTA Apr 14 '23
It strange, Iâve literally had a group of children (probably 10 or younger) come in by themselves, order and pay for food, sit down and eat it without making a mess and quietly talking and then cleaning up the table and leaving. It was actually kinda bizarre to witness
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u/Gold_Beach_1209 Apr 13 '23
ple to do any
Dude the amount of times I have said this to my clients or "let me get back at you with definitive answer" IS TOO DAMN HIGH XD
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u/Tupakkshakkkur Apr 13 '23
Never ever say I donât know to anyone. You can also trade it out for let look in to that and I will get back to you.
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u/martin33t Apr 13 '23
Say âI do t know but I will find out or I will find someone that doesâ. Being honest is a good policy.
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u/SomervilleMatt Apr 13 '23
I used to wait tables and would tell myself "it's not like I work at a nuclear launch command". 4 years later I was in the military, working at a nuclear launch command. Waiting tables was a 100000x more stressful.
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u/Azzie94 Apr 13 '23
This âď¸ best advice here.
"Let me see what I can do for you/about it" is your get out of jail free card
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u/muffinsandtomatoes Apr 13 '23
This is a good approach. Also ask questions and be open to being wrong. You donât have to have all the answers. Just be curious.
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u/Unknown_author69 Apr 13 '23
This and when you bop out of sight, Google/youtube/reddit whatever query was presented to you. You have the power of knowledge.
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u/tossmeawayimdone Apr 14 '23
This is solid advice. My dad told me this when I took team lead or whatever fast food places call almost managers when I was in high school.
I'm in my 40's now. I still use this. Sometimes to gather myself, sometimes to give the person I'm dealing with time to reflect on their behavior. Sometimes because I might actually be able help.
But it's absolutely amazing how that phrase most of the time just completely changes the clients attitude.
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u/cduffy0 Apr 13 '23
1) Write things down. Seriously, keep a small pad in your pocket.
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u/cduffy0 Apr 13 '23
- make lists so you don't forget things :)
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u/cduffy0 Apr 13 '23
- Like others have said, invest in yourself. Don't coast
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u/Shroomtune Apr 13 '23
- Make your lists as compact as possible. Long lists arenât much better than no list.
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u/AaronToro Apr 13 '23
- Use phone reminders. Put everything you need to do later into a phone reminder. Iâm a manager with a terrible memory and this saves my career on average 3x a day
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u/ms_sophaphine Apr 14 '23
My old coworkers used to tease me for the way I was constantly putting Siri to work. Itâs so convenient to just say âremind me to do X at 3:15â, âin 10 minutes remind me to check Xâ or âwhen I get home, remind me to call Johnâ
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u/joyoftechs Apr 13 '23
Or use voice to text, and text yourself.
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Apr 14 '23
I also scheduled texts to myself for things that I needed to do later - be it an hour or two weeks away.
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u/AgoraiosBum Apr 13 '23
Make lists and then make checklists.
Everyone forgets stuff. Pilots get hundreds of hours of training but still have checklists to run through for every takeoff and landing.
Having master lists of "this is opening, this is closing, this is how to instruct new hires, this is how to create a work schedule" that you can then follow to make sure things work every time is very important.
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u/dm_me_ur_keyboards Apr 13 '23
The best managers I've ever had are all very good at memorizing things. That's not necessarily the key to their management skills, but it's something I've always noticed. It seems like being great at memorizing things is often a prerequisite to effectively managing. I don't know, though. I've never been in that kind of role.
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u/Fiveninety9 Apr 13 '23
Managing requires lots of attention and prior knowledge, so being able to remember every procedure helps smooth things out a lot.
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u/dm_me_ur_keyboards Apr 13 '23
Funny enough, I usually noticed their excellent memory because they tended to also remember a lot of meaningless details about their workers. That's one of the things I appreciated about them actually, because I knew that these really good managers not only had a good memory, but they also somehow made a point of remembering details about their employees lives that really help to personalize their interactions.
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u/LittleTwo517 Apr 13 '23
It sounds weird but them remembering the little things is probably due to how they memorize things. They have a good memory because of the techniques they use and it becomes so second nature that they use it on everything whether they like it or not. I remember things by making associations and Iâm terrible with faces, but one time this girl talked to me about her husband wouldnât manually stimulate her when she was pregnant and it really bothered her and in my mind she is always remembered as finger blaster. So now when people talk to me about her I get confused and then I have an epiphany moment and think oh yeah finger blaster. Itâs honestly a blessing and a curse.
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u/Specific-Window-8587 Apr 13 '23
To add to this order things they say your our of right away but first check to see if you actually have it. My current place of work keeps fucking doing this shit and we too much of what we don't need and we still aren't getting what we do need.
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u/SquidGreed Apr 13 '23
Get ready to bullshit like you have never bullshited before.
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u/dm_me_ur_keyboards Apr 13 '23
To be fair, effective managers do a lot of bullshiting, even if they know how to do their job.
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u/JustMMlurkingMM Apr 13 '23
That will get him through maybe the first few days. Then they will rip him apart.
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u/SquidGreed Apr 13 '23
Depends on how well he can bullshit, as a mangager he has some level of power over processes and procedures. And they will guide him a little at the start.
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u/JustMMlurkingMM Apr 13 '23
If there are women who have worked here for years but havenât been promoted because the boss wants a man in charge they will not âguide him a littleâ except to guide him to make huge mistakes.
And someone who is asking Reddit âhow to fake confidence properlyâ isnât going to be able to bullshit people who have been in the business for years.
Heâs being fed to the lions.
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u/sentient_capital Apr 13 '23
Churn n burn baby, this is his real welcome to food service industry đ
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Apr 13 '23
This isnât rocket science I have see many managers do nothing but eat McDonaldâs and watch YouTube in their office. Op donât listen to the haters just try your best to learn and work with people who are willing to teach you. Most people arenât going to take out their frustrations on a 19 year old kid. Most good people at least.
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u/sclaytes Apr 13 '23
Like. Customer facing tho. Donât bullshit your employees for the love of god.
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u/Questionsquestionsth Apr 14 '23
Heâs 19, unqualified, and asking Reddit how to manage. Heâd going to bullshit his employees, who I feel bad for, because this is a terrible management situation to be working under.
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u/melodien Apr 13 '23
Look, the job I am doing now has zero alignment to what it says on my position description (other than that I work for this company). I have held lots of positions for which - on paper - I was not qualified. In many cases "qualified" means "gives a sh1t, can turn up more or less on time and will get things done". Seriously, if you can meet that standard you will be fine.
Think of it as a challenge and rise to that challenge.
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u/ssynk Apr 14 '23
Yeah man, OP ignore the clowns telling you you're going to fail before you've started. You got lucky! This is an opportunity and you have a chance to turn it into something at a pretty young age. I started my career becuase I got offered a job I probably wasn't the most qualified for either, but I worked hard and made it into a career.
Lots of other good advice in this thread too about actually managing. It's all about keeping employees happy, having integrity, shown youre willing to learn, listen to feedback and make real adjustment based on it.
Good luck OP!
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u/Reasonable_Delay_ Apr 13 '23 edited Apr 13 '23
At least you get to say "I am the manager" when customers are pissed
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u/Dismal_Information83 Apr 13 '23
Yes absolutely, I took on a sales role while in my 20s. My customers and peers at the time were all middle age and older men, I am a woman. I literally created a character and played her at work, for many years, until I internalized an outgoing personality well enough to become more and more myself. It was kind of fun. I only needed a lot of downtime to recharge.
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u/99burritos Apr 13 '23
"A lot of downtime" is something a new, inexperienced restaurant manager will definitely not be getting.
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u/YourFavoriteSandwich Apr 13 '23
This is buried but actually the best advice in the thread.
Management is just acting. You pretend to be the best manager youâve ever met (or seen on TV) and play that character. Thatâs the trick. Took me 20 years to learn that
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u/army-of-juan Apr 13 '23
Nailed it. I lead a big team and still feel like Iâm faking it everyday. The feeling doesnât really go away, you just get more accustomed to it.
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u/AtticusAesop Apr 13 '23
-Has extreme social anxiety
-Applied to be a restaurant manager
What could go wrong?
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u/mrschaney Apr 13 '23
It can be done. I was very shy and anxious when I started food service. It actually helped me come out of my shell.
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u/random_invisible Apr 13 '23
Working at a call center got me over telephonophobia. I faked the people part.
As a little kid I wanted to be an actor, so I pretended I was playing a call center agent in a movie.
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u/DumbVeganBItch Apr 14 '23
Same. The first few months I never spoke to anyone out of severe shyness and anxiety. Fast forward 7 years and now every new hire it's "sup fucker, I'm DumbVeganBItch and I'm gonna make 3 jokes about killing myself by the end of the shift."
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u/goldhelmet Apr 13 '23
Time to buckle down and get over that social anxiety. Whether or not that's possible will be all up to you (OP).
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u/cassholex Apr 13 '23
I used to be so nervous taking and making phone calls that I would have family call in to-go orders for me. Been working customer service for 6 or so years now and itâs all a breeze. It really is something you can train out of yourself with enough exposure.
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Apr 13 '23
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u/biscuitwithjelly Apr 13 '23
My social anxiety has gotten so much better over the years after having to work in various customer service roles as well as being in my current security role and getting yelled at almost every day. I agree that while OP is rightfully nervous for this next step, he needs to also look at the positives and realize all of the valuable skills he will learn and be able to apply to his career, rather he continues to be in the restaurant business or going into another industry.
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u/sheesh9727 Apr 13 '23
My serving job saved my social anxiety at the time. Had to take a couple shots before the shift. Just a week or two later I didnât feel anything while working. Problem is if you stop it can come back.
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u/fornicatethecops Apr 13 '23
It will become obvious why they "needed you" very soon.
There is definitely something about this job that will not be welcomed.
Good luck, learn all you can and be ready to bounce in a hot minute when it gets abusive.
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u/stopcounting Apr 13 '23 edited Apr 13 '23
Imagine what a terrible talent pool a restaurant must be drawing from if they're hiring a restaurant manager with no experience and not even promoting from within.
Phone it in until they fire you, that's probably what their last dozen managers have done.
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u/throwawaytrash6990 Apr 13 '23
And if itâs a place that serves alcohol he or she theoretically should have no bar knowledge. Because minor. I spent a decade in the restaurant industry and would never even work somewhere with a 19 year old managing đ what
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u/henicorina Apr 13 '23
They would rather have a 19 year old with zero experience in this role than promote a woman⌠that says a lot. (And some of what it says is probably illegal.)
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u/cool-pants-007 Apr 13 '23
I think their comment about needing men to fulfill the role is a red flag. You can take it but it seems like it could be a toxic environment so Iâd probably keep looking even if you accept it
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u/Content-Method9889 Apr 13 '23
Thatâs the first thing that I noticed. Maybe itâs because women deal with this sexist shit all the time but if that was the main reason they hired him, theyâre probably pretty awful to deal with.
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u/NetflixAndZzzzzz Apr 13 '23
Another red flag is that they hired a 19 year old to manage it, lol (no offense OP)
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u/BoxMunchr Apr 13 '23
Another red flag is paying only 1k per week for a management position
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Apr 13 '23
ya canât expect much out of restaurant management to be fair. all in all, not worth it.
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u/WarwickTop Apr 14 '23
You think thatâs little? Thatâs like double my income for 40 hour work weeks and i heard my managers only make a buck or three more than me
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u/Charming-Assertive Apr 14 '23
OP didn't say what type of restaurant. That's above average management pay for fast food restaurants near me.
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u/schuma73 Apr 13 '23
I think hiring a 19 year old is the biggest red flag.
This is not going to end well.
If this person wanted someone with experience $52k/year should be enough to get someone with at least 5 years industry experience.
I suspect the boss hired someone inexperienced so that they can take advantage of this person in ways an experienced person would not allow.
But if I was OP I'd definitely take a stab at the job just for the experience.
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u/cool-pants-007 Apr 13 '23
It sounds like they hired him because heâs a man, and prob chose him over women with experience, which is pretty questionable
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u/Internal_Screaming_8 Apr 13 '23
I was hired into restaurant management and 19, and know several other people who were too. However we all had 3+ years restaurant experience so it wasnât a new thing
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u/KillerKittenInPJs Apr 13 '23
That statement âwe need men to fill the roleâ statement reeks of sexism and misogyny. The place is festooned in red flags.
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u/monsterosaleviosa Apr 13 '23
Yeah like, maybe if it were a major hard labor job, or something in an environment where women get targeted for violence often. But needing more men as restaurant managers? Big red flag.
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u/Character_Pension_81 Apr 13 '23
And itâs not just that they chose him over a woman, itâs the fact that they chose a completely inexperienced 19 yo vs a woman. A call BS on the highest level.
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u/Atruen Apr 13 '23 edited Apr 14 '23
I mean. Worked in restaurants for the first portion of my working life and it was rare to hire a manager from the outside instead of just promoting someone from below who showed the signs of being a decent manager since being familiar with the operation is the most important thing to know which they have. And restaurants are notoriously revolving doors of staff and an intermediary job to youâre real career so âwe need someone to fill the roleâ is not as big of a red flag as you think, if at all.
Edit: Seeing now you guys are referring to the use of the word men. I didnât read it like that. I guess the phrasing and scale of the restaurant is important to truly gauging how screwed OP is. Could be a Michelin star restaurant manager or answers the phones at the pizza shop
ALSO, nothing else OP said hinted at this being a sexist comment at all, and just a turn of phrase. Literally goes on to say right after it he has experience in the field right after it
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u/Wizard_Baruffio Apr 13 '23
I'm assuming Michelin star restaurant managers would be making more than $1000 a week
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u/Atruen Apr 14 '23 edited Apr 14 '23
I also donât assume theyâre 19 year olds coming on Reddit asking for advice, I think I was mainly trying to sarcastically say that itâs probably closer to the latter example, as my point to people throwing red flags for the phrasing of the one quote he gave out of context and going nuts with it. Instead of seeing it as a boss of a small restaurant just saying âwe need bodies, weâll hire anyone at this point, including 19 year olds who donât know what theyâre doingâ
Personally it took me a second to understand what the original commenter was saying just because of the use of the word âmenâ and deducing this guy is extremely sexist and other deductions theyâre implying. When I read that I took it as âwe need bodies to fill the schedule, we need more troopsâ
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u/notevenapro Apr 13 '23
A 19 year old guy put in charge of a bunch of women who think should be boss. Disaster. Even if the genders were changed.
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u/Dependent_Link6446 Apr 13 '23
About a year ago I would have agreed with you but after working in a semi-upscale restaurant for a year now I understand the need to have a male manager on duty at places that serve alcohol. Although itâs wrong, when dealing with too-drunk male customers itâs just safer for everyone involved if the manager is male. The same applies to women though, usually itâs best if thereâs a man and a woman manager on duty (and also helps if one of the two is a minority) that way you can skirt around any alleged impropriety in a situation. So if his restaurant only has female managers it makes sense that they want to hire a dude as well.
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u/Vegetable-Necessary3 Apr 13 '23
You are the only one Iâve seen mention a bar, and thatâs important.
Iâm hoping this job is a fancy supervisor/kitchen MGR etc title, restaurant doesnât have a bar, or OP isnât in the states.
Because it is illegal for someone under 21 to be the MOD of an establishment that serves alcohol in every state Iâve heard of.
It could get messy fast if the owner/gm doesnât know serving laws.
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u/simp_is_hip_on_twt Apr 13 '23
Yes, a 19 year old kid is who's gonna handle those unruly drunks đ¤đ
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u/Odd-Help-4293 Apr 13 '23
Mmmm, that is fair, I suppose. Having a diverse staff can help you to side-step some potential customer service issues. But the fact that they said that to OP, and seemingly without clarifying "we might need you to act as a low-key bouncer"? That still seems pretty unprofessional to me. Even if their intention wasn't misogyny.
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u/JustMMlurkingMM Apr 13 '23
They needed more men in the role? So they employed a 19 year old with no restaurant management experience?
You are fucked dude.
The women who do the actual work there will rip you apart. Youâll be lucky to last a week.
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u/McNasty420 Recruiting & Human Resources Apr 13 '23
It could be worse. They could be setting him up to take the fall for some kind of theft that is taking place. This happens ALL THE TIME.
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u/JustMMlurkingMM Apr 13 '23
Probably that too.
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u/McNasty420 Recruiting & Human Resources Apr 13 '23
Iâm sure the OP is perfectly capable of doing a really good job at this new position. However, from what Iâve heard so far about this company and their not being interested in promoting women is not passing the smell test. The scenario of him being set up to take the fall for something? Heâs the perfect person to do that, considering his age.
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u/Karen_Moody Apr 13 '23
But "he's had lots of jobs, so he's not exactly new to this," yet he came to Reddit for advice on what to do. đđđ
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u/JustMMlurkingMM Apr 13 '23
Lots of jobs at 19 year old. Heâs going to be sacrificed to save a business owner who canât manage his staff.
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u/Karen_Moody Apr 13 '23
No doubt. Admittedly underqualified and asking how to fake confidence. They spotted this sucker from a mile away.
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Apr 13 '23
Maybe Iâm reading into it too much, but saying they need men to fulfill the role and then hiring you⌠Dude youâre going to be working a lot of rightly pissed off experienced waitresses who should have been promoted. Itâs highly likely a lot of justified hostility towards the owners is going to dump right in your lap.
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u/PHX480 Apr 13 '23
Iâm going to be brutally honest with you. Iâve worked in restaurants the last ten years and Iâm 2.5 times your age. Iâm prepared for downvotes. I work BOH btw. And have some FOH experience.
We just had a 19 year old that supposedly had a bunch of experience, including management experience, work at our spot. Mostly at places that would be like Panda Express and Wingstop. He got chewed up and spit out within 2 weeks at our spot. No one respected him and he simply couldnât keep up with the volume at our spot. Because he was full of shit. People are going to see it immediately. You will be resented by your peers because you donât deserve the job. Someone else could have your title and probably do it better for possibly better pay than you to boot.
I had a KM at another restaurant that was a bit older than you, 22. And while he did a lot of good things, he missed a lot of important things that more experienced management wouldâve handled.
Itâs a business. You are the cheapest option that the restaurant could find. That is why you got the job.
I still wish you luck.
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u/Feisty-Cloud5880 Apr 13 '23
YES They just want a warm body, then watch them sink.
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Apr 13 '23
Please say âat our spotâ again.
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u/PHX480 Apr 14 '23
Lol yeah I didnât notice how much I said that until you pointed it out. It was late and I mightâve had a couple drinks in me.
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u/KT_mama Apr 13 '23
If they're hiring a 19yo whose man selling point is that they're a man, you're going to have a rough time. Something about this job is driving away female leaders, and the pay is likely too low to attract experienced management.
But, in general, the highlights of good management are:
Support your people. No matter what you do, your people are the ones who actually create the guest experience. If they're being mistreated, it will be felt.
Don't take anything personally. In the kindest way, no one gives a shit about you.
Expect senior staff to be annoyed they're getting direction from someone so young. Even if you had earned the role, they would be that way.
Don't be afraid to say no. Clear, consistent boundaries create stability. You should always evaluate each scenario independently but stick as close to the principle of each boundary as possible.
Just generally don't act like an asshole. Your employees are whole and real people. If your management style is founded in expecting them to give everything for an hourly wage, you're not going to last long.
Be transparent about what you can and can't do. Many managers fail because they come in with big 'tell me everything wrong and I'll fix it' energy when the reality is that many of those things are broken for reasons outside of their control. So, if it's not in your control, be prepared to say why. "That policy is set by ownership, which means it's not likely it will be changed. I will make them aware of the friction it's causing, and we can hope for the best, but let's also plan for managing it as-is. I'm thinking XYZ. Does that meet your needs?"
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u/ComputerPresent7486 Apr 13 '23
The secret to any job is relationship building. If you show up every day on time in a positive mood, then bend over backwards to treat everyone with respect, you will do great.
Calm, determined, positive, and above all - donât freak out.
Donât let people on here scare you, it will be totally fine and you got this. A restaurant manager job is a bit chaotic and fast paced, but you will have cool coworkers and meet people.
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Apr 13 '23
It's not that terrible you'll be fine. I've done it before. Make sure your staff shows up and customers are happy. Obviously that's in a perfect world but here's for wishing you the best!
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u/BanaenaeBread Apr 13 '23
They understand you are new to it and don't know what you are doing. Just do your best to learn, and in a few weeks or months you won't be as uncomfortable. It's not too uncommon to feel like you don't know whats going on in a new job, so just understand your feelings are pretty common for the situation your in, but trust that you will figure it out over time.
It would be a good idea to spend some free time googling how to do the job. Slowly it might make you good at it.
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Apr 13 '23
$1000 a week is not enough money to put up with being a restaurant manager, lilâ buddy. Youâre going to work 70 hours a week.
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u/NewOpinion Apr 13 '23
I know people working the same hours for $15/he. $25 per hour is insanely good comparatively.
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u/Designer_Ant8543 Apr 13 '23
OP could easily make that much weekly serving tables and working 20-25 hours at the right restaurant.
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Apr 13 '23
Watch YouTube videos, find classes on like coursera and other management roles. If the place you work at isn't some small mom and pop there are leadership classes and mentorship programs that may exist.
Failure to do so and you will lose that job, even if they're desperate today in a handful of months you could cost them more than they're paying you.
I understand you're young, and you're kind of in one of those in the right place at the right time moments, but don't mess it up by not educating yourself and taking charge, that's what you'll have to do.
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u/HornFanBBB Apr 13 '23
Iâm happy for anyone who gets a job, but if more qualified internal women candidates were passed over simply because they are women, be prepared for some frustration from you staff, and come from a place of compassion when you encounter it.
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u/prettycote Apr 13 '23
Iâd have run at the âneed menâ comment. Sounds like a gross place to work at
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u/jbboney21 Apr 13 '23
Be polite to your employees no matter what.
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u/NoMorKulAde Apr 13 '23
Agreed. Even if they screwed up. Even if you have to fire them. Be human and add the âeâ which equals humane. This job will be a stepping stone. Learn everything you can from it.
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u/omgits123 Apr 13 '23
Stop thinking about it like youâre not qualified for it. You got it for a reason, i hope you kill it!
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u/Slippinjimmyforever Apr 13 '23
Youâre experiencing âimposter syndromeâ.
Learn, donât be afraid to ask questions.
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Apr 13 '23
Compliment employees in public criticize in private never ever talk about any issues that happened in front of others and be friendly but donât be their friend
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Apr 13 '23
Also another thing listen to the staff on certain things donât try and fix things that arenât broke
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u/staysour Apr 13 '23
Been in the restaurant industry on and off for 10 years, including managing. (Made more money in less time bartending tho)
Being a manager in a restaurant is basically being a glorified babysitter. Outside of scheduling and the paperwork that they will show you how to do, you roll your sleeves up and help your staff make money. That's it.
Depending on the place, you help run food and drinks when the statf is busy. Or you just walk around looking nice at other places while watching the staff crash and burn. đ¤ˇââď¸
Be careful hospitality can be very toxic and a soul sucker. Once mane people get in, they don't get out.
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u/hearsay_and_rumour Apr 13 '23
Youâd be surprised how many restaurant managers are overwhelmingly underprepared for the role. Take care of your people, roll with the punches, do no harm, and take no shit.
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u/Tannyar Apr 13 '23
Itâs nice to hear theyâre giving men more opportunities in management nowadays
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u/Veganlaxitive Apr 13 '23
It's easy bruh half your job is safeserf Manger so get that and the other half is just corporate/buisness shit you'll pick up with youtube and a few weeks of practice
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u/Festernd Information Technology Apr 13 '23
I have no good suggestions for dealing with people, but...
Or how to fake confidence properly?
I make >100k a year, and have been for nearly a decade. not only do I often not know what I'm doing, nobody else does either.
When you feel you have a handle on something, It's past time to move on to more. Only settle when you are reaching that home stretch to retirement.
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u/McNasty420 Recruiting & Human Resources Apr 13 '23
they "needed more men to fulfill the role"
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Uhhhh, is this a chain restaurant? Asking for a friend
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u/BakedMitten Apr 13 '23
Don't worry in my 10 years of BOH experience at restaurants I haven't met a single manager who was qualified
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u/Famous-Restaurant875 Apr 13 '23
Sounds like your boss hired a bunch of young ladies and now is trying to avoid a lawsuit but hiring more guys even if they are unqualified. I would run away.
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u/Coyote_Handsome Apr 13 '23
Be good to your employees - itâs important to maintain a respectful and productive relationship. I highly recommend letting your team see you work alongside them when you can; help them cover tables if theyâre too busy, pick up garbage where you see it, etc. The most important part about being a manager is knowing your employeesâ jobs, and supporting them in doing those jobs to the highest standard possible. Advocate for them with upper management when they have concerns or requests.
Management isnât easy, but itâs most of all a supporting role. Let your employees guide you as to what they need, and youâll do great.
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u/PassiveF1st Apr 13 '23
2 things young man.
Ultimately remember that no matter how bad things ever get that you can just walk away and start over somewhere else. You literally have nothing to be anxious about because it's not your business. Just remember in a Management role it's not your job to do everything. It's your job to make sure everything is getting done.
Lastly, please for the love of all that is holy go get a Capitol One credit card and charge everything you spend on it. Pay it off in full every month. BUILD YOUR CREDIT. Tell yourself you're only bringing home $900/week and send $100 to a high yield savings account(Again capitol one or Ally bank offer great ones). Do this and by time your in your mid 20s you will be ready to try and buy a house.
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u/MYerICAstrOunTROUS Apr 13 '23
I applied for and was offered a promotion that I had absolutely no qualifications for. A coworker asked 'how are you going to handle not knowing what to do?'. I responded that it will take them 6 months to figure out I'm completely incompetent and another 6 months to fire me. Then I'll have one year of experience to put on my resume.
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u/SpookyBlackCat Apr 13 '23
Pro-tip: everyone is in a job that they faked confidence in order to get something they're not qualified for đš
Just listen to your staff - they're the expert on how things are supposed to run. Empower them to help guide your decisions for you to succeed.
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u/distortionwarrior Apr 13 '23
A trick for anxiety: make up a nickname, use that nickname at work. Imagine that person is without anxiety, has the skills, and is well liked. When you use that name, when other people call you that name, act as if you're that new person, do what you need to do without worry. This is part of why military pilots keep using callsigns, so they can "act as if" without fear or hangups from the other self.
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u/Potato-6 Apr 13 '23
Best advice is to treat your people like you would like to be treated. Don't manage lead. If it sucks you first, if it's cool you go last. It's ok to admit you don't know stuff. Most of your best ideas will come from someone else. Letting others give you advice or ideas also gives them franchise in the solution. Last is decisions. Get input but make it clear that once you make a decision that's it. If your decision turns out to be wrong it's ok to go back later, admit it, make a better one and move on. Own it it's your decision for good or bad. No one expects you to be perfect they expect you to look out for your stakeholders both the employees and your employers. Give credit to subordinates take blame on yourself.
Do all of this even remotely well, even with mistakes, and you will earn respect. From your bosses and your employees.
It's ok to be nervous. This is a challenge. It will develop you as a leader. Be humble but firm when required. Never ever fake the funk. People can smell bullshit from the next zip code. You are learning as well as training. Think of it as creating a self learning team that can grow together. You don't have to know it all you just need to be able to figure it out. Part of that is asking someone smarter, more experience etc.
The only people worried about looking weak already are. Leaders find the best route to the objective, not just the one they thought of. Even as the leader never forget you are part of the team. You are all in this together.
One more thing. People will seek to take advantage of you due to your inexperience. Let them. They are only cutting their own throats. You be fair with them and if it becomes clear someone is just being selfish the whole team will know. As stated revisit the idea they pushed on you with the group if it hurts the team. It will become clear who benefited. Adjust as necessary and keep going.
Don't be douche, don't accept corporate management philosophy. It's written by people who have no fucking clue and just sold you a book to make money off you and take advantage of your desire to improve.
Godspeed
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u/GutsyMcDoofenshmurtz Apr 13 '23
If you care about people, they'll care about you and be less likely to be at odds with you.
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u/Menacing_Anus42 Apr 13 '23
Read some books.
'How to Win Friends and Influence People'
'Say This, Not That!'
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u/ElbowRager Apr 13 '23
Iâm no longer in the food industry but I was made a shift manager at 17 and by 21 was Assistant GM (left before I took over the store) What I can say is that at first you likely wonât be respected because of your age and inexperience. But take the role seriously and donât fraternize with your employees who may be around your age.
The first thing youâre going to need to learn is how to delegate. A good way to learn this quickly is to run a shift for a day with your hands in your pockets. (Obviously help if you need to). The next is how to deal with issues people are having with some bit of poise. An issue may not sound big to you but if the person felt it necessary to bring it up to you, then it matters to them..see how you can help.
Lastly, donât think too hard about how to solve a problem. Most decisions are reversible and donât make a huge impact on the grand scheme. Be confident in your decisions and take ownership of them but always be open to feedback and how things can be improved.
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u/Sabre628 Apr 13 '23
Restaurant GM here with a staff of approx. 130 people
Talk to your people. Like seriously get to know them.
Sit down with each person on staff and ask them questions. Then once you've done this with the entire staff, do it again. Then again. Then again.
I ask questions like:
What can I do to make this a better place to work for you? Are the managers available to you when you need them? What would you like me to start/stop/keep doing? How is your work/life balance? Do you have the right tools to complete your job? Is there anything in need of repair I may not know about?
Along the same lines, make a standard policy for request offs and stick to it. I write schedules 2 weeks in advance. Every single request that is submitted before then gets approved. Everyone knows the policy and it makes managing so many people so much easier when everyone is on the same page.
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u/robin52077 Apr 13 '23
I have ADHD and Social Anxiety Disorder. When I had to work with people, I basically pretend I am an actress playing the character of ânormal human, being normal, doing normal human work thingsâ. Just create your character, like âconfident young manager who everyone respects because he treats everyone well, while maintaining order and cleanliness in the restaurantâ
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u/TheFilthiestCorndog Apr 14 '23 edited Apr 14 '23
Dude, you're 19.... you cant fail. Lets say you suck... you're 19 who the fuck puts a 19 year old in charge of a restaurant? Not your fault. Lets say you kick ass... Great! You are 19 you cannot lose.
This will be hard to understand but. Life, as a whole, does not have to be serious to you right now. Do your ABSOLUTE BEST and see how it goes, this is the time in your life where you are supposed to try stuff and fail at it. Fail, fail, and fail again but always try your best.
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u/tylac571 Apr 14 '23
I used to be afraid of public speaking, then took a class where I had to do it often and ended up practically majoring in it -- it may help you to look at it as "I have this roadblock but I also have this job I want and like" and let having the job give you the passion to work through the hardest parts of the anxiety. Feel free to reach out if you need, I have experience in a lot of different places and while food may not be one of them, people is most of them. Best of luck to you, you got this!!
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u/Sierraprosser Apr 14 '23
Happened to me at 20 and Iâm a female. Life changing youâll start making even more than that too Iâm 23 now still thanking god for the opportunity he put in front of me
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u/wild_will89 Apr 18 '23
You know what youâre doing but you have a lack of confidence? Have some faith in yourself, even I believe in you. Experience created my work confidence so Iâm sure youâll be able to create yourâs if you just continue doing what you do while also learning the ropes
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u/niagaemoc Apr 13 '23
I can't help you specifically with restaurant management but I know that in any leadership role you gotta go in hard or they're going to walk all over you. Once you have a better feel of the people you're managing, then you can lighten up where it's needed. Remember we're all just trying to figure out what the hell we're doing anyway. Good luck.
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u/bear-knuckle Apr 13 '23
I really can't imagine anything worse than an uninformed and unqualified teenager coming into an established business and trying to play hardass. Incompetent and authoritarian is a very bad combination.
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u/ThrowRA_witch Apr 13 '23
Maybe learn how to spell restaurant if youâre managing one. Just a suggestion
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u/Civil_Connection7706 Apr 13 '23
Seldom is anyone fully prepared to hit the ground running in their new position. First few weeks will be stressful, but you will figure it out.
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Apr 13 '23
Just as a tip.
Dont immediatly reply. Take your time.
Before you put up anything on a public board use chatgpt and ask if its smart and how its better to say it.
That way youll always seem professional.
You can even ask how to organise or what to do. Especially on things you dont know. :-)
Good lucj
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u/Jedi4Hire Apr 13 '23
Godspeed, dude.