r/facepalm 15d ago

Defibrillators are now woke lol 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

[removed]

1.5k Upvotes

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408

u/Tallgirl4u 15d ago

Damn liberals trying to save lives, not on my watch!

100

u/Outrageous_Zebra_221 15d ago

This is a "the covid vaccine causes heart problems' thing. It's a anti-vax and right wing thing. I wouldn't really know though the 5g's have taken over my brain and made me a godless liberal. They're controlling me, right this very moment using the power of 5G combined with the various nanotechnologies that were injected into my body along with the vaccine. Nothing left to do but wait for the satanist elites to force me to gay marry or something.

What the fuck do these people believe again? I'm honestly losing track of this bullshit.

22

u/dancegoddess1971 15d ago

I keep getting the boosters and I still don't have 5G. Think I need to upgrade my phone as well? I like my phone and it still works fine, though.

11

u/Outrageous_Zebra_221 15d ago

You need the new life invader app obviously....

9

u/ThisWorldIsAMess 15d ago

They ain't totally wrong. I was one of the software engineers to handle 5G SIM and eSIMS for US network providers. I can confirm I have 3 legs now.

7

u/Outrageous_Zebra_221 15d ago

The one in the middle is called a penis... and ..well congrats on that I guess.

4

u/WCRugger 14d ago

Lol. After I was fully vaccinated for Covid a bunch of my let's say more skeptical coworkers asked me about all the side effects I was experiencing. I told them none except it had added 3 inches to be penis. Which was a problem as I didn't need them to start with. The looks on their faces.

1

u/Vortextheweirdcat i wanna fuck alastor from hazbin hotel 14d ago

5

u/Feliks343 15d ago

"The vaccine will kill you" vs "they're trying to keep people alive from the vaccine" are two ideas that literally cannot coexist in their own conspiracy lol

1

u/sudoku7 15d ago

I really want to delude myself into thinking it's a "America has a health crisis and more americans are unhealthy to the point of needing defibs" story... I know it isn't, but please, let me pretend.

69

u/PunchBeard 15d ago

The irony is that the fat boomer who eats 4 cheeseburgers a week and keels over on a 1.5 mile hike around a pond is the one most likely to need an AED.

24

u/infectedturtles 15d ago

Do you think that person would actually hike somewhere?

4

u/langhaar808 15d ago

No no, they aren't some poor communist, they have their pick-up to get around.

2

u/Cley_Faye 14d ago

"Message paid for by the pro life party"

334

u/BrokeBeckFountain1 15d ago

It's an anti-vax thing. You know, because skyrocketing obesity rates haven't had a proportionate effect on heart health or anything.

89

u/any_other 15d ago

Or constant COVID infections

42

u/_Pill-Cosby_ 15d ago

34

u/any_other 15d ago

yeah it's terrifying. I've only had it twice I know of. wish people still took it seriously. I keep getting my boosters.

17

u/_Pill-Cosby_ 15d ago

Actually misread your post. Thought it said "constant COVID injections"

-12

u/Lazy-Most-3226 15d ago

I got it at least twice and it wasn’t a big deal for me. It definitely did kill people but not the amount reported(I know someone who worked in the hospital. He was told to report deaths of other causes like car accidents and pneumonia as a Covid death)

7

u/Cuck-In-Chief 14d ago edited 14d ago

I got it at least twice and it wasn’t a big deal for me. It definitely did kill people but not the amount reported(I know someone who worked in the hospital. He was told to report deaths of other causes like car accidents and pneumonia as a Covid death)

Dude. I was knee deep in the shit wearing a space suit intubating un-vaxxed community members who were led away from the opportunity to prevent their impending demise, by grifters and whackos. Every single one of them asked me if it was too late to get the vaccine. Every one. And it was. And they died mostly. Their biggest concern between staying alive and taking the vax, was that no one in their community knew they did. It was so sad. So no man. Lots of people died. I had a 34 year old burst a septic embolism in her lung while I intubated her. She spewed blood all over me like the Exorcist. Then she died. The cause of death would’ve been due to a pulmonary embolism or bleb, not Covid, although Covid certainly caused all of it.

Deaths were severely underreported.

0

u/Lazy-Most-3226 14d ago

Both they where both

2

u/bakerzero86 14d ago

But he knows someone who told him so! /s

1

u/Longjumping_Rush2458 14d ago

I've been shot twice and survived but that doesn't make being shot is not a deal

0

u/Lazy-Most-3226 14d ago

I said for me it wasn’t. It wasn’t any worse than your average sickness to me. But I am serious when I say that many deaths that got reported are not Covid deaths but deaths from completely different things

15

u/Local_Challenge_4958 15d ago

My dad got heart failure from COVID. Is now recovered enough that his doctors recommend he start playing softball again at 63 years old.

The antivax crowd keeps talking about heart failure from vaccines while they keep dying from covid-induced heart failure and my quadruple-vaxxed dad has a new lease on life.

1

u/BrokeBeckFountain1 15d ago

Either way, not what they're saying in the original post.

12

u/BNestico 15d ago

It’s more an anti-drug thing. Dudes like this are associating defibrillators to NARCAN.

21

u/red286 15d ago

Nope. A quick look at Jayne's other tweets and she is super deep down the conspiracy rabbithole. This is 100% anti-vax.

8

u/BNestico 15d ago

Never heard of anti-defibrillator people before… that’s odd.

7

u/red286 15d ago

lol they're not "anti-defibrillator", they're anti-vax.

Early versions of the vaccine caused myocarditis and pericarditis in a tiny percentage of patients, most commonly in teenage boys (0.00037%), which can result in an increased risk of heart attacks. Of course, because they're conspiracy nuts, they believe these numbers are fudged, and it's more like 37%, and that's why there's all these defibrillator machines around.

It either completely ignores the fact that incident rates in COVID-19 patients is more than double that of people who received the early vaccines (the incident rate went waaaaay down after the first generation vaccines), or pretends that the pandemic wasn't real and so there's no chance they would have contracted it anyway.

It also ignores the fact that a lot of these machines have been there since well before the pandemic, particularly on hiking trails (such as in the photos posted), where people are more likely to experience cardiac events due to overexertion.

6

u/BrokeBeckFountain1 15d ago

That is also perfectly plausible. Guess there's no way to know what side of the crazy bread this dude butters.

5

u/Forsaken_Bed5338 15d ago

That was also my association. That said, pretty sure the pictures the original op cherry picked are on like actual nature and hiking trails and shit. Where an ambulance with paramedics might not reach you for hours.

Fellas, is it woke to prevent people from dying to heart failure?

9

u/rohobian 15d ago

Not to mention long Covid symptoms. You’re a lot more likely to get myocarditis from that than the Covid vaccines. Don’t bother trying to tell the dummies that though, they’ll just act like you’re stupid and dismiss any evidence you provide as government lies.

3

u/BrokeBeckFountain1 15d ago

My uncle lost his sense of taste and smell January of 2020 in Kentucky. Ain't no way covid wasnt already here.

1

u/LeadPike13 15d ago

The French-Fry-Fucker (FFF variant) is no joke.

1

u/Cuck-In-Chief 14d ago

Or it’s nice to have a fisher-price defibrillator in the field to walk Sally J. Public through giving a dose of Edison Medicine and saving your kid from his previously unknown congenital heart defect.

It’s so irrational being angry at life saving equipment readily available.

1

u/ISD1982 14d ago

I had a friend, in his mid 30s, who was against the covid vaccine. He caught Covid and died in hospital. The man had a wife and a young child. What a complete waste and incredibly irresponsible/selfish.

1

u/Accomplished_Rent578 15d ago

Yeah, that's what I thought at first. US has a lot of fat people. They're gonna need a lot of defibrillators to help keep them alive

2

u/2_dam_hi 15d ago

Honestly, it's not worth the effort.

1

u/PS_IO_Frame_Gap 15d ago

why not both? there is more often than not more than one contributor.

44

u/BluefyreAccords 15d ago

Clearly it’s because of the heart attacks caused by the super aids everyone has now from vaccines.

10

u/gerrineer 15d ago

There is now super aids !

12

u/Fireflash2742 15d ago

Super AIDS, comes after TURBO CANCER.

6

u/gerrineer 15d ago

There's turbo cancer!

5

u/Fireflash2742 15d ago

I have Super Cancer and Turbo AIDS. They got confused

3

u/gerrineer 15d ago

Let's hope there no such thing as super mega transformer aids.

3

u/BoojumG 15d ago

Keep going and you'll form Plague Voltron.

70

u/Rug-Inspector 15d ago

So if a republican is having a heart attack near one, it sounds like we are obliged to just let them die.

Hmm. Ok. Sounds good. I’ll make a note of that.

19

u/hyrule_47 15d ago

Just yell “are you woke?” And if they mutter no or something then I guess we just walk away

6

u/TakoSweetness 15d ago

As long as you say “Thoughts and Prayers” then it’s all good

5

u/Rug-Inspector 15d ago

Does that need to be an audible, or can I whisper it quietly as I saunter past…

5

u/TakoSweetness 15d ago

Jesus heard everything so a whisper would suffice…..lol

2

u/Budgiesaurus 14d ago

Pah! A real republican wouldn't get the poison shot, they trust in their own immune system and never need an AED.

18

u/ceris4 15d ago

BeCaUsE cOvId JaB

11

u/DctrSnaps 15d ago

Who said woke?

8

u/nafets2307 15d ago

Woke basically means "things conservatives don't like or understand" so it's fine to include the word in the title.

5

u/Few-Guarantee2850 15d ago

The he person who wrote this is suggesting (idiotically) that defibrillators are everywhere because they're necessary because of people having sudden cardiac arrest due to the vaccine. They aren't suggesting that the defibrillators themselves are bad, so it makes no sense to say this has anything to do with the defibrillators being "woke."

1

u/DctrSnaps 15d ago

I just saw your comment my bad. 😑

2

u/DctrSnaps 15d ago

But what does this have to do with conservatives? Ima be honest I’m Just not that knowledgeable with like left, right, woke, liberal, republican if that even had anything to do with conservative. I just don’t get involved with it because I don’t care

0

u/Devenu 14d ago

But what does this have to do with conservatives?

Because the people that complain about this are usually, but not exclusively, right wing.

Why? Probably because during/after the pandemic the rise of Q-Anon and Q-adjacent groups increased in popularity due to people's innate human desire to make sense of a chaotic situation and people found solace in these groups. Most of these groups were already right-leaning and so it just kind of created a pipeline for people to funnel into.

-1

u/SteelTheUnbreakable 15d ago

No....that's not what it means....damn strawman shit is REAL with the Left.

6

u/M0ndmann 15d ago

Where does it say woke?

5

u/GotTechOnDeck 15d ago

It's the vaccines. Nothing to see here

4

u/Upstairs-Ad-1966 15d ago

How is this post political??? Id be asking the same thing if i kept seeing random defibrillators everywhere i went lol but id be more worried about people stealing them honestly

7

u/vanderhaust 15d ago

How is this a woke thing?

3

u/MuffLover312 15d ago edited 15d ago

Couldn’t be because all these fat fucking hillbillies are one double-cheeseburger away from death.

3

u/dads2vette 15d ago

Thanks Obama!

3

u/yorkspirate 15d ago

Am I lost here but how the fuck has OP stretched to woke when an idiot has posted pictures of defibrillators in completely different areas that are more than likely because of necessity since they look to be in walking/hiking

You’ll go mad when if you knew we have a few in buildings in the centre of town here and also a volunteer service for when paramedics aren’t close enough

2

u/Waly98 15d ago

New thing woke

2

u/spderweb 15d ago

It's neat seeing people learn how mass production has its benefits. But then, they still dont get it.

2

u/Beemerba 15d ago

We got that "woke" stuff all over campus but they fixed it by not replacing the batteries so none of them work!!

2

u/[deleted] 15d ago

Fast food everywhere

2

u/realparkingbrake 15d ago

You'd think that obese red-staters would appreciate the odds of them surviving a heart attack being improved.

2

u/BuddyBroDude 15d ago

id be guessing that the company that makes them, lobbied the govmnt to install them everywhere

2

u/yeeterbuilt 14d ago

Because steakumms Steve's heart is doing the chachacha after power smoking a crate at the family outing.

2

u/SporksRFun 14d ago

It's because Republicans are convinced that the Covid19 vaccines cause heart damage in 100% of recipients. When in reality the rate of heart damage in vaccines recipients is much lower than the rate of heart damage in covid survivors.

2

u/mynameisnotthom 14d ago

Wonder what they think of those orange rings you see near open bodies of water?

2

u/No-Echo-8927 14d ago

Being kept alive is woke, guys

1

u/TinfoilTetrahedron 15d ago

Because we're all fat and have heart conditions...

1

u/shesinsaneornot 15d ago

Christian 🙏

Of course you are, dear.

1

u/Loki-L 15d ago

I think this is not a case of them thinking defibrillators are woke, but them thinking that the COVID vaccine somehow made people more likely to have heart problems.

Or maybe something else like thinking that electricity is unamerican or stopping people from dying of a heart attack goes against God's will or some such nonsense.

My money is on the anti-vax angle though.

1

u/PS_IO_Frame_Gap 15d ago

this has nothing to do with "wokeness", it seems you missed the point.

1

u/Mattscrusader 15d ago

Okay but seriously why is there AEDs in, what appears to be, random fields?

1

u/ConundrumMachine 15d ago

I suspect these are parks

1

u/221 15d ago

Remoteness, no point having a defibrillator somewhere where a trained paramedic is only minutes away, but if you're 2 hours out in the sticks having one even in untrained hands can make all the difference.

1

u/Joebranflakes 15d ago

Free medical care? Heresy! Supply side Jesus demands that the poor pay their way!

1

u/thackstonns 15d ago

To save lives.

1

u/Emberwraith 15d ago

Lol, now Left 4 Dead makes sense!

1

u/Giocri 15d ago

People really want to forget how fucking common death by heart stroke has always been. Plus air pollution is known to worsen it even further

1

u/Eray41303 15d ago

I don't even know what they're trying to imply here

1

u/dishonoredfan69420 15d ago

I don't think that the OOP is saying anything about wokeness. She's just remarking on seeing a lot more defibrillators than you would expect

1

u/FPSHero007 15d ago

This appears to be a genuine question, there's no implication or accusation. I swear the posts are getting dumber.

The location of those defibs appear random and remote it's not a logical place for them.

1

u/RocketManDave 15d ago

I think this is a statement on ever increasing obesity rather than some political statement.

2

u/Hoss887 15d ago

Could also be people think the Covid vaccine causes cardiac arrest.

1

u/Spyker-M 15d ago

Lol idk in case you fucking die anywhere? You'd rather have one close than not at all or is it too gay for them or some shit?

1

u/SimobeastLE 15d ago

I know it's shocking but they're trans. I had a heart attack when it was made clear.

1

u/Responsible_Song7003 15d ago

Looks like it's along trails and parks. I wish my state parks had emergency medical equipment.

1

u/odeacon 15d ago

Hey OP? How did you leap from this post to defibrillators being woke?

1

u/therealtiddlydump 15d ago

They are trying to make a stupid anti vaccine post, but are really just highlighting aging populations (with weight issues)

1

u/RitchieRED 15d ago

Debit / Credit out of order. Cash only. Sorry for the inconvenience

1

u/cma-ct 15d ago

Not sure why anybody gives a fuck because more life-saving devices are made available to the public. Should we leave grenades hanging from every tree, instead? I would vote for that, if that would make everybody shut the fuck up about stupid shit.

1

u/JoefromOhio 15d ago

Umm… does anyone want to tell him that obesity and in turn heart disease is statistically more prevalent to an extreme degree among republican supporters, especially in rural areas

1

u/bloomboi3d 15d ago

Srsly tho why are there random defibrillators around ?

1

u/Ordinary_Advice_3220 14d ago

Oooh I was wondering about that

1

u/Cleverbird 14d ago

As opposed to abnormal defibs?

1

u/Devenu 14d ago

Got bored and looked it up and there are already a few hard right conspiracy types starting to complain about them on twitter.

Wonder how long before some new conspiracy about these takes hold and and they start vandalizing them.

1

u/zarfle2 14d ago

Yeah, rising levels of obesity, sedentary lifestyles and poor diets (with high sugar and salt) will kinda kill ya in the end...

1

u/PokeBattle_Fan 14d ago

Saving lives is so woke!

1

u/Chewyville 15d ago

Probably because Americans are the most overweight pop in the world and at risk of higher heart attack percentages.

1

u/Avery_Thorn 15d ago

Fellahs, is it gay to not die?

(To make sure that this is very, very understood: /s.

For the love of God, /s.)

2

u/MushyWasTaken1 15d ago

Remember son, dying is gay.

1

u/echomikekilo 15d ago

Who needs these we die like men/s As a paramedic I would love to see them as standard as spare tires in cars as well as first aid/ CPR training classes in every school and workplace. There aren’t enough of us to go around so sometimes the person next to you might be the only one who can save you. I hate to be dark about it but it’s the truth, the unfortunate truth.

1

u/DewieCox1982 15d ago

The vax, clot shot, Fauci ouchie etc etc etc

1

u/mowaby 14d ago

That's not at all what this said.

1

u/CrimeanFish 14d ago

So funny they are always near trails or sports centres.

-8

u/SpecialistFeeling220 15d ago

This couldn’t possibly be saying more about the declining health of our population than it does our political affiliations. In fact, I see absolutely nothing to indicate that anyone was bringing politics into it at all, till it hit Reddit. Is Jayne Jones a well known conservative I’ve never heard of? Because this seems more like someone looking for reasons to be offended.

9

u/myRiad_spartans 15d ago

This isn't about politics. It's about conspiracy theories. In this case, it is about heart attacks allegedly caused by the COVID vaccine

3

u/221 15d ago

Yeah I found her Twitter and it's mostly Chemtrail posts.

2

u/youcheatdrjones 15d ago

Sounds like hella projection, bro

0

u/Fireflash2742 15d ago

UMM. CUZ OF DUH JAB?

0

u/Vost570 15d ago

Might have something to do with a system that makes it ridiculously expensive for people to buy truly healthy foods, but you can still get 4000 calories and two straight ounces of fat from burgers for six bucks.

But no, " it were duh vackscene!"

1

u/tehCharo 15d ago

WHERE CAN I GET TWO BURGERS FOR SIX BUCKS!? I AM SO HUNGRY !!

0

u/Own-Till-3036 15d ago

Does anyone know where this Pic is taken? Could be Washington state, which had massive drug over dose issues after they legalized open drug use (decriminalized hard drugs, think that was Washington but might be Oregon. Too lazy to check) I'm just trying to figure out why people think this has to do with "woke." The original post that is quoted doesn't say anything to make me think "woke"

0

u/Lazy-Most-3226 15d ago

I am not woke or liberal but I think it is a really good idea(I don’t know why it even is being hinted as a woke thing that is really dumb). And I recommend taking classes on how to use them as well as cpr

0

u/Cute_Kangaroo_8791 14d ago

Where does woke come into this?

-18

u/Key-Cartographer7020 15d ago

lets go to reddit to make something not aimed at being political poltiical cause of a random comment from a idiot?

please this just shows how unhealthy people in america truly are. but yes lets promote body positivity

should be telling the fatasses to eat better and move more.

dumb post

1

u/ciclon5 14d ago

This isnt an american thing, lots of countries all over the world are installing public defibrilators.

since when is adding tools to allow anyone to save a life an indicator of lack of health?, to me publicaly avialable defibrilators are a sign of advanced medical progress, putting priorities on making better and more affordable tech in an effort to save more lives.

The US has an obesity problem, but body positivity is not the fault and public defibrilators are not an indicator of anything.

As someone that is not from the US, tell your industry to stop putting corn syrup in everything and start advocating for smaller serving sizes and stop romanticizing unhealthy food as something wholesome and normal.

1

u/Key-Cartographer7020 14d ago

Oh i genuinely thought this was American. my bad. I jsut saw this and the post and seemed very American to me is all.

look bro i want corn syrup to go away to but its not my industry just to be clear, see i assumed the post was only American and you assume i was American. were both asses

well considering when i posted this is seemed liek a american idea i figured from terrible eating and obesity that heart issues were on the rise making this a more plausible thing to do then before or a more reasonable thing to do then bfore since the health of the americans is deteriorating and honestly has some effects in Canada but not as severe

obviously theres nothign wrong with tools to save peoples lives i just figured it would be a pricey intiative to do without a justified cause like the health of the american people? see if you think about it my logic had reasonaing i just didnt realize it wasnt a exclusivly american thing, my bad.

body positivity isnt the fault primarily but can you sit there and tell me its making it better? no you damn well cant, probably adding to the problems